An Open Note to PR People Who Don’t Read My Blog
Dear PR People Who Don’t Actually Spend Any Time on My Blog Before You Write Me:
I am very tired of receiving requests to write about your exciting! new! baby! product! I am also very tired of receiving requests asking me to write about your wonderful product that will make my pregnancy as easy and wonderful as one of those douche commercials where they’re running along the beach.
You caught that part where I can’t get pregnant … right?
I’m not sure how I got on your list in the first place. Because if you had done your job at all — if you had actually focused on the “relations” part of “public relations” you would have noticed that I have an infertility blog as we were building our relationship, and you would have tailored your pitch to reflect my status and how I identify.
Oh … wait, we don’t have a relationship? Then why the hell are you writing me?
No, I don’t want to host an online baby shower for your pregnancy product. No, I don’t want to send you pictures of myself pregnant and using your product — do you know why? BECAUSE I CAN’T. Because I can’t get pregnant. Hence why this blog has an infertility focus though I also write about other things such as my fear of crickets or the latest Harry Potter movie or my interactions with PR employees.
And while I recognize that your job is difficult — that there are a lot of blogs out there and without key information such as daily page view numbers or which blogs share the same exact audience, it is difficult to know where you should send your pitch for the biggest bang — it doesn’t excuse this. Because we’re starting from a place where you are asking a favour of me — you’re asking me to write about your product. I get nothing out of this interaction and you get everything. Therefore, it would be nice if you took the time to get to know me a bit. And if your product doesn’t fit at all with my blog, please don’t send the email.
Yes, I love babies. I love holding my friend’s babies and then sniffing my shirt the rest of the day. But coveting a child is not the same thing as wanting to hawk your product.
Because receiving an email asking if I want to try a new bottle/pregnancy belly band/binkie/diaper/formula/breast pump is like taking a plastic fork, snapping the tines so they’re extra sharp, and then dragging the broken utensil over my heart. I could have said a knife to the heart, but I think we all know how incredibly surprising it is when a plastic utensil snaps when you’re digging into your food. And that’s what it’s like to get your emails in my inbox.
Because I expect to see emails from friends in my inbox, and work emails, and even random requests from people that are completely on target with who I am and what I write and the blogroll I keep. In fact, I usually love hearing from new people. But I never expect to see a PR pitch for a baby product — you know, due to that whole infertility thing.