Posts from — December 2010

Tonight marks the end of the year (and perhaps, where you are, it’s already the end of the year), and I haven’t really processed that.  I’d like to do a post for my own sake wrapping up all my thoughts from this year, but I’ve obviously run out of time.  So would it be strange if I put it off until I had more time?  Say, mid-January?

*******

My parents bought the Wolvog a guitar, which he loves hardcore, and I have been breaking in for him every night.  New strings only hold a tune for a little bit and then the guitar needs to be re-tuned.  So I’ve been tuning, playing, tuning, playing while things download on the computer (I’m excellent at multitasking).  And I have come to love his little half-guitar even though it looks ridiculous on me, and it is now completely broken in and wonderful.

So it was time to return to taking care of my own guitar.  A while back, I tried to have my guitar restrung at a local store because I’m too much of a pussy to do it myself (I knew anyone who plays guitar was probably thinking that in their head anyway), and the woman refused to help unless I would leave the guitar there.  Which I wouldn’t.

So on Wednesday night, I took it to a guitar store a few towns away where the most wholesome boy in the world restrung it for me.  You could seriously dip cookies in this boy — he was like a great big glass of wholesome milk.  He lovingly restrung the guitar for me with the same type of care new husbands use to caress their wife’s cheek on their wedding night.

And now, much to Josh’s chagrin, the breaking in process starts anew.  I hope he enjoys listening to out-of-tune G-chords!

*******

The Weekly What If: What if you could instantly know how to play any instrument in the world — and do it remarkably well.  Which instrument would you choose?

*******

And now, the blogs…

Adventures in Infertility-Land has a post about memories that are attached to clothing.  It is again the season where she lost her son, and the same clothes that she wore during that pregnancy have been taken out of storage.  She writes, “I have thought about throwing this stuff out, not wanting to literally wear the memories on my body, but I haven’t.”  It is an achingly beautiful post filled with more questions than answers.

Adventures of a Dam Engineer has a post about waiting, and I love how it begins: “Why I feel compelled to keep the ticker up is beyond me.  I suppose it’s my personality to always measure accomplishments or lack thereof.”  It is a small post, one that briefly touches on a few points, but in the relating of the day-to-day things still contains that silent partner; the waiting.  And you feel it between every letter on the post.

As Fast As My Baby Can has a sad story about a friend’s sister’s loss, pointing out how fragile the world is at its heart.  She points out that while this may be common knowledge, this experience drove home this point physically.  She explains, “When I got that call, I felt for a few moments in time, a rip through the gingerly held together fabric of my life, the fabric that keeps me sane and in reality and moving forward.”  You can practically hear her friend’s voice, frantic within the phone call.

Lastly, Here We Go Again has a post about the days after Christmas, ones that she has reclaimed for her own relaxation and enjoyment.  I thought it was brilliant, actually, knowing that you have this small sea of time after all the chaos of the holiday; taking that for yourself and holding it sacred.  I wonder if people went into their holiday next year focused not on the stress, but on their own small holiday after the holiday, if they would be able to hold the stress at bay.  It’s a sweet post about her Christmas holiday and the afterward.

The roundup to the Roundup: Happy last day of 2010.  The most wholesome boy in the world restrung my guitar (and no, that’s not dirty, Calliope).  Answer the Weekly What If.  And the last four blog posts of 2010 to read.

On Saturday, the Creme de la Creme will go up, so happy reading!

I’m not really sure what my title means.  I hear it all the time, and I believe it means an end point, but I’m not exactly sure.  But for the sake of this post, we’ll say that “game, set, match” means that the Creme de la Creme is all ready to go.

The list isn’t really tucked up all tight, warm and snug, because the list will be added to through the end of January, and there are still dozens more that came in after the 15th that I probably won’t get to before the list goes up.  But the 267 posts that came in by the end of December 15th are currently blurbed and edited (thank you, Josh) and lovingly placed in a post for your reading pleasure on January 1st.

Certain years truck along and the list comes together easily.  This was not one of those years.  It was my own fault, skipping many days of reading my quota in order to finish another project.  I’m happy I got that project done, but it was at the expense of having the Creme de la Creme be a relaxing exercise.  It was more like a sprint tacked on to the end of a marathon.

There were also a bunch of posts that made me cry.  Hard.  Cry hard enough to need to pause from the list.  I know this happens every year — I mean, it happens weekly as I read blogs regardless.  But think about it this way — every single post I read, all 267, were emotional.  They may have been funny or thought-provoking or joyous, but they all contained enormous emotions of one kind or another.  That’s just the way of the Creme.  It’s people’s best posts.

So that’s my preview: there are some posts that will make you sob (I told Lindsay about one of them while we were in the kitchen, making ebelskivers for the kids and the two of us were bawling just talking about it).  And some will make you laugh.  And a lot of them will make you see the world in an entirely new way.  And a lot of them will provide enough food for thought that you think your brain might be full.

So, if you’re excited with anticipation because you love this list too — what can you do to help?

• Read it on January 1st or soon after.
• Comment on posts that you find on the list — not just the first one or two, but the ones that are in the middle of the list or towards the end.
• Tweet about it, make the fact that you’re reading it your Facebook status, blog about it.
• Keep checking it throughout the month (there will be a link to it at the very top of my blog as well as a note each time I update it) so the posts that are added at the end still have eyes on them.

And frankly, if you really want to thank me, read my new book either in paperback or Kindle.  Tell people about it.  Write a review on Amazon.  Join the blog tour.  Is it a fair trade since I only read a post of yours and I’m asking you to read a book of mine?  Not really.  But life isn’t fair.  I think you know that by now.  And that’s what you could really do to thank me more than anything.  I mean, beyond reading the Creme de la Creme too since I put so many hours into it.  Just saying.

Oh!  And I would like to apologize for not having up the LFCA this week or updating the blogroll.  I’ve been using the night hours that I usually use for the LFCA to work on the Creme de la Creme, and then the final hours of the night to watch Battlestar Galactica with Josh on DVD, which we refer to as our “Outer Space Family.”  To distinguish them from Brothers & Sisters, which I refer to simply as “My Family.”  LFCA and the blogroll updates will return now that the Creme de la Creme is under control.

Welcome back to IComLeavWe. It stands for International Comment Leaving Week, but if you say it aloud, doesn’t it sounds like “I come; [but] leave [as a] we”? And that’s sort of the point. Blogging is a conversation and comments should be honoured and encouraged. I like to say that comments are the new hug–a way of saying hello, giving comfort, leaving congratulations.

Here is the vital information, pure and simple (a more detailed set of rules follows below the list):

• The list opens the 1st of every month. It remains open until the 21st. You can add yourself at any point. The list is open to everyone in the blogosphere–blog writers and/or blog readers.
• Add yourself to the list by filling out this form: the January list is now closed.  The February list will open on 1/31.
• Click here to cut-and-paste this bit of code to add to your sidebar (if you have the old code from another month, remove it and replace it with this one). You need to add the icon or a link to the current list on your blog (see below) and will not be added until it’s up.
• Commenting kicks off every month on the 21st. Please mark it somewhere (calendar, post-it note taped to your computer…), though I will be sending out an email reminder on the 20th. Commenting week runs from the 21st to the 28th. Every day, leave 5 comments and return 1 comment for a total of 6 comments. You are highly encouraged to choose the blogs you comment on from the participants list below, but this is not required.
• I will send a second email on the 28th to remind you to remove the icon from your blog.
• Read below if you want to find out about Iron Commenters.
• The commenting ends on the 28th. We catch our breath and the whole thing starts again the next month on the 1st. Drop in and out according to what is happening in your life between the 21st and the 28th.

1. Stirrup Queens (twins, books, writing)
2. Aisha Iqbal (parenting, motherhood, life)
3. Find Joy Now (parenting, life, joy)
4. Our New Normal (domestic adoption, cancer, living again after pregnancy loss)
5. Mommy Musings (parenting, kids, motherhood)
6. Yolk: A blog about eggs and sperm (ttc, infertility, humour)
7. Ambivalent Womb (mfi, ivf#3, icsi)
8. Bio Girl (family, parenting, infertility)
9. Inconceivable! (IVF on hold, getting healthy)
10. Banking On It (ivf, immunology/mthfr, mfi)
11. Someday (IUI, donor sperm, excitement)
12. For All the Things We Hope For (infertility, miscarriage, nursing school)
13. Failed Genetics (infertility, adoption, marriage)
14. The 2 Week Wait (infertility, ttc, humor)
15. Knocked up by Another Man (DE-IVF, parenting, alaska)
16. As Good As It Gets (parenting after infertility)
17. A Second Line (IVF, stillbirth, pregnancy)
18. This Non-American Life (travel, expat life, Europe)
19. Flogging the Muse (art, painting, creativity)
20. Just us and the Cat (fet, loss, life)
21. Your Great Life (fertility coaching, emotional support, family-building)
22. Infertility And Me (azoospermia male parent)
23. Adventures in Infertility Land (infertility, IVF, baby loss)
24. Exploring Chaos (ttc #2, tww, parenting after IF)
25. Here We Go Again (parenting, life after, humor)
26. As Fast As My Baby Can (ivf, ttc#1, donor eggs)
27. For We Are Bound by Symmetry (ttc#1, unexplained infertility, IUI)
28. Wistfulgirl’s World (ttc, pcos, life)
29. Matching My Mind (HCG protocol, weight loss, life)
30. Snarky Momma (parenting, preschoolers, babies)
31. The Unfair Struggle (mfi, speedskating, life)
32. Roller Coaster Life (decorating, revamping, DIY)
33. The Rocky Road to Motherhood (pregnancy, infertility, life)
34. Cooked Heads (such sweet silliness)
35. All Aboard the Pity Boat (infertility, running, life)
36. Team Baby (infertility, IUI, ovulation)
37. Diary of taking small steps towards baby steps… (ttc, pcos, ivf)
38. Infertile in a Fertile World (infertility, G-d, husband)
39. Almost All The Truth (green, parenting, change)
40. Try, Try Again (infant loss, ttc, ivf #1)
41. Uncommon Nonsense (infertility, pcos, hypothyroidism)
42. Chasing Rainbows (single, miscarriage, pregnancy)
43. Eggs in a Baskecase (ivf, depression v. hope, relationships)
44. On The Outside Looking In (infertility, baby, pregnant)
45. The Road Less Traveled (embryo adoption, infant loss, pregnancy)
46. Our New Plan A (ivf#5, dor, sarcasm)
47. Family Organic (parenting, food, green)
48. Musings of a Hormonal Egg Basket (pregnancy after IVF)
49. The Pursuit of Pregnancy (IVF, recurrent losses, DOR)
50. Trying to Conceive (ivf, icsi, support)
51. Baby Bump Wanted (ttc #1, endo, mfi)
52. Woman Anyone? (pregnant, baby #1, unexplained infertility)
53. Miracle in the Making..A Great Joy is Coming (pregnancy after recurrent miscarriages/infertility, immune issue)
54. Digital-Damita.net (frugal, green, ttc)
55. Getting There (adoption, waiting, life)
56. Cloudy With A Chance of Hope (infertility, child loss, grief)
57. Hannah Wept, Sarah Laughed (infertility, foodie, waiting)
58. Almost There (secondary infertility, iui, family)
59. Dragondreamer’s Lair (my family, my crazy life, crafts)
60. Empty Oven (infertility, high FSH, donor sperm)
61. Too Many Fish to Fry (joy, infertility, twins)
62. Blawnde’s Blawg (new beginnings, acupuncture, infertility)
63. Bella Creative (weddings, style, design)
64. Feeling Beachie (life, humor, cat)
65. Adventures of a Dam Engineer (adoption, infertility)
66. My Infertile Confessions (newly pregnant, IVF, faith)
67. Mission: Fertile Soul (fertility, living presently, humor)
68. Storm in My Teacup (greyhound, FET, happy)
69. Lifeslurper (over 45, donor eggs, IVF)
70. Waiting For Our Miracle (infertility, IVF, pregnancy)
71. infertile myrtle (ttc number two)
72. A Page In My Book (IF grad, everyday life, parenting)
73. My Vegas (IVF, early pregnancy, TCM)
74. The Panda Diaries (new mom, life, art)
75. Enchilada Sunrise (fibrecrafts, bipolar, life)
76. AnxiousMummy (pregnancy, IVF, life)
77. Life Under a Blue Roof (green, gardening, family)
78. wanna bee (adoption, loss, craftiness)
79. The Journey to Baby G (iui, miscarriage, hope)
80. Whole Heartedly (ivf, pregnancy, phd)
81. The Port of Indecision (RPL, IVF, DOR)
82. Savor the Moment (pcos, humor, life)
83. One Day and One Pound at A Time (weight loss, infertility, marriage)
84. Two Pieces of My Heart (loss, grief, art)
85. The Misadventures of Missohkay (adoption, pregnancy loss)
86. In The Middle (infertility, adoption, random thoughts)
87. Mommy In Waiting (ivf#3, mfi, ttc)
88. The Second Act (parenting, miscarriage, over 40)
89. The Barren Chemist (chemistry, living childfree after IF, college)
90. Whitney & Erick (miscarriage, IVF, infertility)
91. Trying for a baby (IVF, endometriosis, acupuncture)
92. It’s Definitely Possible (smc, iui, ttc)
93. Creating Our Miracle (failed IVF, MFI, TTC #1)
94. The Inadequate Conception (infertility, humor, new book)
95. The Journal Keeper (journaling, motherhood, novel writing)
96. Help! S-O-S for Parents (“invisible” special needs)
97. Party of Five (parenthood, toddlers, infertility)
98. On Tap for Today (life, humor, boston)
99. Body Diaries by Lucy (parenting, pcos, infertility)
100. Lauren Vs. The World (injectables, unexplained, anovulation)
101. Dreaming of Quiet Places (life after divorce, my cute dog, ponderings)
102. Stumbling Gracefully (working mom, photos, mindfulness and acceptance)
103. The Miss Ruby (longterm-ttc, living childree)
104. Rhyme Schemes and Daydreams (DVDs, books, culture)
105. Survive and Thrive (infertility, EFT, hope)
106. His & Her Infertility (Just Like The Matching Towels) (PCOS, azoo, international adoption)
107. Project Baby (MFI, taking a break, where do I go now)
108. Unglamorous (toddler, parenting, marriage)
109. The Deep Breath Before the Plunge (infertility/ttc, adoption consideration, weight loss)
110. Stress Free Infertility (stress free tips, advice, success)
111. Redwheelbarrow (kids, america, sewing)
112. The Barreness’s Blog (parenting after infertility)
113. ThatGirlWithEndo (infertility, chronic pain, endometriosis)
114. Colours Of Cattiz (fertility treatment, ivf, emotions)
115. Musings of a Cul-de-sac Mom (motherhood, sewing, baking)
116. Blitzed Blogging (drinking, kids, vitriol)
117. To infertility and beyond (infertility, IVF, hope)
118. Plans Change (parenting, adoption, infertility)
119. OnTheLanai (infertility, marriage, miscarriage)
120. Mama T’s Madcap Misadventures in Life and Babymaking (PCOS, MFI, sass)
121. Paradykes (life, love, surrogacy)
122. Transplanted Thoughts (liver transplants, special needs, life)
123. Our Journey (babygirl, motherhood, no #2)
124. Swimming Against the Tide (parenting after adoption)
125. Joyous Birdie (de ivf, 49-years-old)
126. A Field of Dreams (parenting after IF, random musings)
127. Raising Cain (someday) (IVF, infertility, waiting for #1)
128. Mom-Mom-Mom (humor, parenting, marriage)
129. Red Market Creative (exploring, happiness, art)
130. Life In the Detours (miscarriages, endometriosis, IVF #1)
131. Chasing Mommyhood (single, endo, ttc)
132. My Rotten Eggs (miscarriage, sewing, idiots)
133. Makingbabygiraffes (ivf, male infertility, general infertility)
134. believing in june (marriage, infertility, pregnancy)
135. Removing Roadblocks (faith, infertility, adoption)
136. Waiting for a baby bump (IVF, infertility, MF)
137. My Hopeful Journey (hope, support, advocate)
138. The Acorn Chronicles (pregnancy after if, randomness, hypnobirthing)
139. Trying Again (acupuncture, hope, perseverance)
140. A Woman My Age (adoption, infertility, parenting after 40)
141. Cradles and Graves (recurrent cord-related loss, pg after ivf and hoping)
142. Lily in the Valley (IVF, marriage, stepparenting)
143. Not Again! (RPL, IUI, grief)
144. Searching for the Missing Piece (adoption, life, infertility)
145. Thoughts from A Blonde (adoption, infertility, life)
146. Heeeeere Storkey, Storkey! (twins, life, pregnancy)
147. One Wheeler’s World (life, love, parenting after if)
148. The Deep Silence of a Long-Suffering Heart (family, friends, infertility)
149. Tribal Times (family, design, environment)
150. I am NOT Martha Stewart! (IVF, domestic bliss, total randomness)
151. Attempting to love life… (infant loss, grief, foster to adopt)
152. Time Well Wasted (infertility, laparoscopy, life)
153. My Scarlet Baby (starting adoption, infertility)
154. all i ever wished for… (infertility, life, hope)
155. Infertility Unexplained (unexplained infertility, IUI, coping with infertility)
156. Not a Fertile Myrtle (life, male factor, endo)
157. The Bex Files (adoption, special needs, humor)
158. I Spy A Family (adoption, motherhood)
159. A Blog of Joy & (Dis)quiet (spirituality, inquiry, life)
160. Love, Life, and Infertility (infertility, trying to conceive, ivf)
161. The C’s Baby Dance (IVF, mock cycle, maybe donor egg)
162. Momicon (cooking, memory keeping, photography)
163. To Those Who Wait (IUI, impatience, emotions)
164. The (In)Fertility Diaries (adoption, pregnancy, life)
165. Betty Tuesdays: The Twenty Tiny Toes Edition (twins, pregnancy, dog)
166. Walking An Unknown Path (infertility, stress therapy, life)
167. The Infertility Therapist (psychological aspects infertility)
168. Invisible Mother (miscarriage, pre-TTC, emotions)
169. Donor Eggs Journey (donor egg baby, parenting)
170. Our Uphill Battle (infertility, PCOS, pregnancy loss)
171. When ‘WE’ Becomes 3 (beginning infertility, ttc)
172. A Greater Yes (embryo adoption, infertility, parenting)
173. The Journey to a Little One to Call Our Own (infertility, pregnancy)
174. The Lost Stork (ivf, infertility, injections)
175. The Denver Autism Wheel (autism, community, optimism)
176. My Little Science Experiment (IVF, 3rd trimester, 1st pregnancy)
177. Razing Mayhem (parenting four children, marriage, geekery)
178. The Truth Is Out There (parenting after IF, life)
179. One day at a time (pain of infertility)
180. Maternal Hope (ttc#1, ivf, family)
181. Bakery Closed Until Further Notice (relationships, miscarriage, non-ttc)
182. No Baby Ruth (2nd trimester, IUI, PCOS)
183. Pink In The Sheets (lesbian lifestyle advice)
184. Waiting for that Positive (infertility, male factor, life)
185. reach in, reach out, reach up (infertility, adoption, christ)
186. The Bushey Life (pregnancy after IF)
187. Sheepishly Ambitious (knitting, baby-birthing, dc)
188. Baby Quest (IVF, infertility, 2ww)
189. Tutus and Converse (motherhood, parenting, life)
190. Pollination Chronicles (IVF abroad, ectopic, IVF#2)
191. What’s Cooking on the Mommy Porch? (family dinner, recipes, southern culture)
192. Inspired Ima (triplets, jewish, knitting)
193. Ready For My Bundle (infertility, adoption, job loss/search)
194. Bodega Bliss (miscarriage, fear, recovering from loss)
195. My Dusty Uterus (humor, stubborn eggs)
196. Trying Not to Scream (infertility, loss, on hold post-lap)
197. You Call Me a Bitch Like It’s a Bad Thing (ivf, pgd, pregnant after losses)
198. Being Brulliott (infertility, weight, marriage)
199. We Wait in Joyful Hope (adoption, waiting, life)
200. Hope is a Four Letter Word (anovulatory, unexplained, first IVF)
201. Hearts Joined, Hands Fast (iui, mfi, ttc#1)
202. Pontifications of a Twin Mom (parenting twins, breastfeeding, making babyfood)
203. Full Circle (adoption foster care)
204. Semi-fertile (loss, transition, grief)
205. A Virtual Hobby Store and Coffee Shop (news, music, food)
206. The Infertility Overachievers (secondary IF, IVF, son)
207. Babies, Balanced Translocations, and Being in my 30s (infertility, balanced translocation)
208. Tales of My Follies (pregnancy, day to day, food)
209. Hobbit-ish Thoughts & Ramblings (parenting after losses, cooking, weightloss)
210. Mommy Odyssey (miscarriage, healing, humor)
211. InfertiliTEE (secondary infertility challenges)
212. the January list is now closed.  The February list will open on 1/31

Q: What if I miss a day?

A: Catch up the next day by doubling your comments–12 comments instead of 6.

Q: What if I have two blogs? Can I sign up twice, listing both blogs?

A: Yes, but you also need to double your comments. If you have two blogs listed, you should be leaving 12 comments per day.

Q: What is an Iron Commenter?

A: Not for the faint-of-heart. People who wish to be an Iron Commenter and be entered on the Iron Commenter honour roll need to leave a comment on every blog on the participants list (exceptions are blogs that require you to have a special log-in, such as some LiveJournal accounts or other similar situations). You can spread out this commenting any way you wish over the whole week, but the final comment needs to be left by midnight on the 28th (EST). Reaching Iron Commenter status is done on an honour system. Please email me if you earn Iron Commenter status so I can add you to the wall of honour.

Q: Why do I have to add that bit of code to my sidebar?

A: The code is the latest icon (the icon changes colour every month so you know that you’re on the right list). This month, the icon is silvery-blue, the next month it will be green, etc. The reason is two-fold: (1) it enables more people to find out about IComLeavWe and (2) it gives you easy access to the current list once the commenting week actually begins and better ensures that you’ll use it. Too many times, people sign up and forget to actually do IComLeavWe and this icon gives you a daily reminder (with the dates on it) every time you open your own blog. The icon is linked back to the current list. On the 28th, remove the icon from your blog. A new one will be created for the next month.

Q: It’s the 23rd and I just saw this for the first time on my friend’s blog! I want to join the list–why can’t I?

A: Because IComLeavWe happens every month, once the list is closed, it’s closed. If you’re finding out about this on the 23rd, you can’t join the current month. But leave yourself a note to check back in a week on the 1st and you can sign up for the next month.

Q: You said the list closes on the 21st. Well, it’s still the 21st where I am. Why aren’t you moving my information onto the list?

A: All dates and times are U.S. Eastern Standard Time (UTC/GMT -5 hours). The list closes around 11 p.m. EST on the 21st.

Q: What if no one comments on my blog and I have no comments to return?

A: Well, that really doesn’t happen for the most part, but in that case, simply choose another blog and add an additional comment. The goal is to hit 6 comments daily as a minimum. Going over that is fantastic and encouraged.

Q: Mel, my question wasn’t covered at all. What do I do?

A: Email me; I’m quite friendly. It helps to place “IComLeavWe” in the subject line. You could also check this post which contains the history of IComLeavWe and see if you can glean anything there.

Looking for the comment section? It has been closed on this post. Use the form in the directions to add yourself to the list.

2010 is ending, and I’m terrible with goodbyes.  Even when it’s only a year that I’m saying goodbye to and not a person.

*******

On Sunday, they predicted a large snow storm that didn’t really happen as they said it would.  I stayed in and decided to tackle all of the remaining Creme de la Creme posts in a single sitting.  Not my best idea.  I had been reading about 10 a day for the last few days, and suddenly, I was going to read over 100 in a single day.  It would be like eating a massive plate filled with chocolate bars.  It sounds delicious in theory, but after my normal amount, I felt done.  But I had to keep going in order to complete the list on time.  Which didn’t actually happen, but at least I tried.  And I still have the rest of the week as my safety net to fulfill my promise.

*******

I am sure that when you read things such as that, you wonder why I do this at all.  I mean, it does sound insane — reading through 300+ posts in a relatively short period of time and writing these blurbs, all while living the rest of my life and doing the rest of my work.  I do it because it’s an honour.  Because it signifies something for me.  Because I can’t imagine not doing it, now that I have done it 5 times.

*******

We watch two movies every Christmas: Love Actually and About a Boy.  It is a struggle to get Josh to watch Love Actually with me so we do that one first to get it over with each year.  He enjoys our yearly watching of About a Boy, and it really is one of my favourite movies, but it depresses the fuck out of me.  And coupled with my period, it left a film over the next day.

*******

I went to write a friend a message on Facebook and she wasn’t in my friend list.  This was strange, but stranger still was that when I looked her up on Facebook, I got the error page.  She had deleted her account.  I went to her blog to see if I had missed this announcement, but no … there was no mention that she had deleted her account.  This was the third time this happened this month — that a friend deleted their account and I discovered this when I went to look at their Facebook page or write them a message.  Isn’t that a little strange?  A person uses Facebook daily, connects with hundreds of friends, and then one day deletes their account without comment (which was the case with all three people — they were all active Facebook users).

Which made me wonder if I should ask why when this happens.  Is it worse to put the person on the spot and ask them why they deleted their account, make them explain whatever they were trying not to explain by slipping out of the Internet world with the click of a button?  Or is it worse to not ask, to make the person feel as if their departure went unnoticed?  Your thoughts?

It is one thing when you are the only person deleted; when you are left wondering what you ever did to offend them (or perhaps it has nothing to do with you at all).  It’s another thing when the entire account is deleted.  I wish Facebook would allow you to delete your account and on the error page, list the reason for doing so that everyone who looks later can say, “oh, yes, I see.  That makes perfect sense.”  Instead of wondering.

As we were driving home from my parent’s house on Christmas (which was also known as Saturday, in our world), we were sucking in the last of the Christmas music from 97.1, by which I mean that I was sucking in the last of the Christmas music and everyone else was enduring. (I earned this right by promising to do things that a lady doesn’t discuss on a blog.)

And I remarked to Josh as John Cougar Mellancamp (sans either the Cougar or the Mellancamp — I can never remember which he dropped) crooned about Mommy kissing Santa Claus that I thought the song was a horror show.  What sort of song celebrated a woman cheating on her husband?  What was so titillating about it being Santa Claus?  Why was it okay for Mommy to have an affair with a man who delivers toys, but not okay for her to be having an affair with the soccer coach?  Would the little boy in the song be just as gleeful if he caught Mommy making out with his principal?

And Josh looked at me as if I were insane and said, “his dad was Santa Claus.  Mel, he was dressed up as Santa Claus, and he thought it was the real Santa Claus.  Hence why his dad couldn’t walk in — because his dad WAS Santa Claus.”

Which just didn’t ring true for me because (1) there is nothing in the song about dad going out of the house — in fact, it is assumed that Dad is upstairs in his bed, blissfully unaware that his wife is cheating on him downstairs and (2) who dresses up AFTER their child goes to sleep to put the toys under the tree?  You dress up in the morning when the kids are awake or in the early evening on Christmas Eve when — again — the kids are awake.  But who the hell dresses up when the kids are asleep.

“Well, it was probably for a sex game,” Josh added.  “Like he got the costume to surprise the kids, but then he put it on at night for a role playing game where he would treat Mum as if she were a bad little elf.”

Which is really no better that a little boy is watching the beginning moments of his parent’s sex game.  Seriously: a horror show.

So, which one of us is right: are we celebrating the fact that mum is having an affair, or is it dad in a Santa costume?

And on that note, Happy Boxing Day!