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305th Friday Blog Roundup

If you have seen the first movie in the recent straight-to-video Disney franchise, Tinkerbell, you know that fairies are born when a baby laughs. (This is a relief to learn because I was so freaked out at the idea of REs trying to get the speculum up the tiny vaginas of infertile fairies — there are no infertile fairies; only dour babies who are not contributing to the world’s fairy population due to their poor sense of humour.)

The ChickieNob was inquiring whether her new baby cousin had laughed yet, producing a new fairy and whether we could go to Pixie Hollow to meet said fairy since, you know, she’s sort of part of the family.  As she was inquiring about this, she realized that SHE must have laughed at some point and, by fuck, is she currently the mother of her own little Tinkerbell?

She became scarily intense asking after her baby (albeit a baby with translucent wings), almost frantic over the idea that she had created this being and sent it out into the world, and she had no clue where her fairy was at this very moment in time.

It was like turning a mirror on myself, a glimpse of how I’ll look when they leave for college.


The Weekly What If: What if you were given your own talk show to start filming next Monday.  Who would be in the line up of your five first guests — Monday to Friday?


And now, the blogs…

Lifeslurper has a post called “Little IVF Earthquakes,” about a tiny mistake made by her clinic which has huge life reprecussions.  The name and address of her anonymous egg donor was accidentally left on a form mailed to the author, and now, instead of having the woman remain an anonymous entity, she has become someone reachable; Google-able.  And while they would have had access to this information when their child was 18, that information was supposed to be years away; something to deal with at a later date.  The post is gut-wrenching — especially as she explains the other events that fell during the days she was pregnant before she experienced a pregnancy loss.  And it’s simply a chilling post, that leaves you in a state of wondering what you would do in the same situation.

Waiting for Baby has a post about her recent loss and telling people about it.  She muses over whom they will tell, explaining the pros and cons of placing this information with other people.  She writes, “Instead I feel like the choices are suck it up, fake it, or share and risk being upset by their lack of understanding and sensitivity.  In a way not telling is a way of feeling more in control.”  I found my head nodding at times while I read the post.

Riding the IVF Roller Coaster has a post about being hopped up on hormones.  I love these lines: “This is a rough cycle.  They all are.  It is endless.  I can’t think at work – sooo many things are slipping.  I’m not the on-the-ball person I usually am – and it’s really hard to care.  The thing I’m best at doing at the moment is being weepy and emotional.”  She manages, through her words, to make you feel as if you are also racing along the same hormonal road.  Later in the week, she writes the gorgeous and heartbreaking, “Grief Pounces,” explaining that, “the great puma of grief pounced on me in the night.  I’m surprised anyone can recognise me today; I feel like I’ve been mauled.”  Seriously, click over to read both.

Speaking of writing that makes you feel as if you are in the author’s head, Someday has a post about her crazy, swirling thoughts.  They are of the “if this happens, then I’ll do this” variety.  And the post contains this eloquent truism for many in the infertility blogosphere: “I feel like giving up at the same time that I feel like desperately hanging on.”

Lastly, Child Bearing Hips has a sweet and sad post about remembering Nora.  She comments on the difficulties she has had in finding a way to remember her: “I know it’s silly. It’s just a tree and an earring. They don’t REALLY represent Nora… but seriously. SERIOUSLY. Can I catch a break? My good friend told me that maybe it’s a sign that Nora it meant to only live in my heart – but I just wanted something nice and small… and it seems like every effort fails.”  Read the post, if for nothing else, her therapist’s excellent advice.  But really, read the post because it’s beautiful and raw.

The roundup to the Roundup: Please don’t worry about infertile fairies and their tiny vaginas.  Answer the Weekly What If about your talk show.  And lots of great blogs to read.


1 Julie { 09.10.10 at 8:40 am }

I love these roundups so much. I always click over and read the posts, and then I read the comments. It does my heart such good to see that people have friends inside the computer supporting them. Sometimes I comment, but mostly I just read, nod, think silent warm thoughts about the friendships we’ve made that help us through all this, and…click on.

Thanks for doing this.

2 Nelly { 09.10.10 at 12:14 pm }

Love your writing and blog references – have found tons of wonderful blogs from you. Full of hope, frustrations, sadness and happiness that mirrors my own. Thank you!

3 Kristin { 09.10.10 at 5:42 pm }

The thought of infertile fairies and their tiny vaginas just has me shaking my head. All I can picture is the microscopically small speculum that would be needed to treat them.

4 mrs spock { 09.10.10 at 10:10 pm }

Just had a sudden, strange vision of a miniscule Wonderwand…

5 coffeegrl { 09.10.10 at 11:28 pm }

Nancy Pearl – former librarian, author of Book Lust and contributor to NPR (she can recommend the perfect book for any reader)
Jane Lynch – I’ve never seen her interviewed and I’d love to hear from her; I think she’s amazing
Sidney Poitier – I’ve loved him since I first saw him in Lilies of the Field
Tina Fey – is brilliantly funny if you ask me
Rafe Esquith and some of his students – if you haven’t heard about him he’s a pretty amazing teacher and I love these kinds of inspiring real people! http://www.hobartshakespeareans.org/

6 Agua { 09.13.10 at 12:31 am }

Happy Sunday night (to those of us in the U.S. – any Europeans are already living in the future that is Monday morning). Great article on le Carre’. Oy vey!

My first 5 guests would be:

Eve Ensler – she’s created a living doing what I do best and am working my way to her level of success (the one-woman show).

Amy Poehler – We’d have a lot to talk about.

Ellen Degeneres – no explanation needed for any of these guests, I suppose…

Michelle Obama’s mother.

Thich Nhat Hanh – nice. Just googled his name to make sure of the spelling (which I had wrong) and see that Oprah! interviewed him on my birthday this year in the very city I commute to each day. I guess I’d also like to interview Oprah (if Thich couldn’t make it). ; )

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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