The quote from the person talking about “designer babies” was talking about all who choose to abort for social reasons, fertile/infertile/planned/unplanned, and not just those who abort IVF pregnancies. So, ok – I can accept that as a consistent point of view.

Someone has an unfortunate quote about how some patients get caught up in the process of treatment and only start thinking about the reality of parenthood once they fall pregnant. I know what she means. But all those who don’t are taking it completely the wrong way.

In some cases, people know they are infertile/maybe infertile ahead of time. But in a lot of cases, people are totally side-swiped by this news. They set out to have a baby just like any other couple, but then a crisis landed on their lap and it’s hard to step back and stay in control of a crisis that is happening to you. We should be clear that these are people who might have had regrets however their baby was conceived – the IVF and the Big Finger To Mother Nature is not the driving factor here, although there is a lot of emotional heightening during the treatment process and perhaps also a loss of self-esteem that makes them act differently on their pre-baby nerves. I think there is an argument (not just because of this) for clinics to take a more active role in inviting patients to step back and re-take control over their decisions. Perhaps clinics should also do more to follow up with patients and make sure they remain in a reasonable state of mental health. The doctors quoted in the article certainly seemed to be having this thought.

Yes, there is pre-treatment counselling, but certainly from my own point of view, I believe mine could have been improved insofar as encouraging that slow-down/take control aspect. There was always an underlying assumption that you had come to the doctor because you wanted to be treated, which is, you know, it makes sense, but it’s not necessarily the right choice and although most patients will e able to orientate themselves enough to make proper decisions, some people are just going to be totally wiped out, and by the time they have had a chance to take a deep breath, the decision may be well in the past. It’s really hard to slow down when everything is being pulled from under you, and I think this is something people don’t appreciate when they haven’t been through a crisis, or if they (erroneously) don’t believe infertility is that type of crisis. And I have to say that, in my case, my strongest reason for slowing down and stepping back was my family history of breast cancer (which made me quite afraid of treatments) and not my doctor or my clinic. Well, you can’t rely on everyone having that kind of external check. And I know that if I’m ever giving advice on seeing a fertility doctor, one thing I stress is that you should keep reminding yourself to slow down, make decisions slowly, and keep control. So what I mean is, properly understood there is some truth in the article and some room for improvement in patient care which may prevent some of these abortions, which I think we can all agree is a good aim.

Less than 1% of all treatments, though. And you’re never going to make the world perfect, and that shouldn’t be surprising anyone.

Bea

I want to own a bookstore. A used bookstore. Also have a place with some coffee, pastries, a neighborhood place that people can stop in and stay awhile.

I’m making homemade ice cream today, too. And homemade root beer!

I feel like the same fool who decided to extend the internet provider contract (for another two years, mind you), expecting triple speed and being totally dumbfounded when told that yeah, the contract might say so, but it is not technically possible (they lack the proper optical cables to do that and do not intend to do anything about during the next 5 years), but I cannot do anything about it, I am stuck with them since the fine print says that ‘due to technical conditions, the speed may be x times lower’. I never expected that conditional fine print to mean ‘you sucker pay for a service we are never able to deliver during the contract duration’. I thought it means that it may happen once in a while for the speed to be lower, but I expected that ‘once in a while’ to mean a few days a month, not throughout the contract duration. So yeah, I am the idiot who thinks common sense is more than an abstract concept and bases too many judgements on this lie…

Thank you for explaining the fine print of THAT piece of news.

If I could, I would run a book store, too. Perhaps I would fit in a coffee/tee & snack corner, where people could read while munching on avocado or ricotta and tomatoes sarnies or brownies and sipping good java.

If I could, I would run a book store!

Also, Mel, have you read this article in Time about sharing through blogs on the web? http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1990586,00.html/