Comments on: The Fragility of Marriage

By: Christina Apron Strings

Christina Apron Strings — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:41:41 +0000

This isn’t the right place to suggest this- but i’ve got to jump in the shower and get to court- but I’d love a category on the bloglist of blogs with marriages in crisis. (is there one ?). It may not directly relate to IF but IF certainly doesn’t help. I’d love the company and would be happy to help you keep it updated.
Christina

By: Christina Apron Strings

Christina Apron Strings — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:35:25 +0000

I am so glad that you didn’t join the club my dh’s affair (really addiction) thru me into. Though realizing how soon it could all be over or change is a great asset.
I also appreciate the fact that you instantly recognized that it isn’t as easy as we all think it would be “I’d throw him out! Leave!” Because, as I’ve learned there are no easy answers.
Take a deep breath! Disaster averted.
Sorry I haven’t kept up with you- this is an example of the great writing that brings me back.
Christina

By: Battynurse

Battynurse — Sat, 24 Apr 2010 04:00:59 +0000

Oh Mel. Sending you many (very late) hugs.

By: Amy

Amy — Fri, 23 Apr 2010 08:37:02 +0000

That moment of not really knowing…horrific. So sorry for that moment, but so glad things turned out the way they did! Lori needs to watch where she leaves her undies

By: Kami

Kami — Wed, 21 Apr 2010 23:29:09 +0000

I recently heard someone talking about his book (I wish I could remember it, but I think it was written by an economist and the subject was how we hold on to ideas) and he said that most of the beliefs that we have are completely untested and the vast majority would be jettisoned if they were.

I guess you are normal. I am sorry you had such a bad scare. I suspect even more appreciation for you wonderful partnership will come of it.

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Sat, 17 Apr 2010 04:15:06 +0000

Wow. So sorry you had to go through this. I agree that we all know what we would do, but really don’t until it comes right down to it.

By: somewhatordinary

somewhatordinary — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 15:18:11 +0000

I am so sorry that you had to experience that even if it was only a few moments. My whole hand is in that fire right now and it is much worse than I could ever imagine.

I would never wish the pain of a marriage in the midst of ending on anyone-ever. Having gone through IF and now a separation I can honestly say that the end of my marriage is so much worse than anything I went through with IF. Not knowing if we would ever have a family was gut wrenching, but having that family broken is unbearable somedays. Losing someone who was your best friend and then realizing that the child you have together will never know all those things you dreamt of when you were trying so hard for them is like torture. I am so, so happy you don’t have to know what it feels like.

Marriage is so fragile even the strongest ones. I learned last year that you never know what you will do until you are faced with a situation. My marriage isn’t ending because of another woman, but an addiction and the unresolved feelings that have come with that. When it first came out to the world people always said things about what they would do or that they didn’t get why I was doing what I did. I always had a pretty standard answer and it always sounded much like what you said “…we never know what we’re going to do until we’re in the moment.” I’ve grown a lot over the last year and a half about passing judgment and how far a person will go to hold onto the things they value most in the world.

By: Bleu

Bleu — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 03:01:03 +0000

Oh my strawberry friend, i am sending all the love in my heart to you tonight. I too, like Eden knew it was going to be OK as I read but am so sorry for the intensity of emotion and exhaustion it must have caused your soul. Much love my friend, to you both!!

By: lori

lori — Fri, 16 Apr 2010 02:43:46 +0000

that story had my hear pounding and my fists clenching. i’m so glad that everything is as it should be in your world, but what a way to start your day. i hope that writing this all out has helped you and that you’re able to relax and revive tonight.

By: jodifur

jodifur — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 18:09:53 +0000

I think you were amazing to post this. Because most of us judge the women who stay, saying, we would never do that. And you just admitted you would have.

I’m glad you didn’t have to make that choice…but it is so true, you never know what you would do until you are there.