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Thank You for the Nose Blowing

A friend recently apologized on her blog to her readers about being a broken record.  She felt as if every post was the same, that she was just repeating the same sad thoughts over and over again.

I told her not to apologize.  The people who didn’t want to read it didn’t have to stick around, and beyond that, it was important for her to write it again even if she has written the same words forty-five times before.

Blogging is a lot like nose blowing–you do it to clear the stuff out of your body, sometimes to simply toss it away and sometimes to examine it (oh, come on, don’t throw up in your mouth–you know you’ve done this).  And no one would apologize for blowing their nose again when they just blew it five minutes earlier.  We recognize that our body is always producing more gunk that needs to be dealt with during a cold.  Why don’t we recognize that our minds are always producing more gunk that needs to be dealt with during an emotional crisis?  And that gunk may look exactly like the gunk we thought we just got rid of with the last blog post?

So thank you to everyone who reads this blog, for being my virtual Kleenex to which I can blow all this verbal snot out on.  That may not sound pretty–bodily fluids rarely are–but I can’t think of a softer, kinder landing space.  Thank you for all the times you’ve let me blow the same crap out fifteen times in a row and left unique comments on the same circling thoughts.

I hope I have been a free therapist for you as much as you have been a free therapist for me.


1 athena { 03.22.10 at 10:40 am }

thank you for writing this. i often feel like i shouldn’t post the same whining bit over and over.. but you’re so right.. it does help.

2 Lost in Space { 03.22.10 at 10:50 am }

Thanks, Mel. Just what I needed to hear today…

3 Marisa { 03.22.10 at 10:52 am }

I’ve realised recently that I haven’t been posting as much because I don’t want to sound like a broken record. I hadn’t thought of it quite the way you’ve presented it. Thanks for that!

4 Valery Val { 03.22.10 at 10:54 am }

virtual Kleenex, I love it.

5 jrs { 03.22.10 at 10:54 am }

LOL. From one who has been blowing her nose and coughing up crud all week, I enjoyed this analogy. Hopefully what I have on my blog is worth catching as opposed to this cold that I wish had not been given to me. And if not, at least it gets out of my head and kind people in the blogosphere understand that I am just not feeling well.

6 Amy { 03.22.10 at 10:54 am }

Thank you for that analogy. Is is perfect. Get the gunk out, no matter how many times it takes.

7 Heather { 03.22.10 at 10:59 am }

I needed this today.

And, in case we run out of Kleenex, you’re welcome to snot on my sleeve anytime.

8 Searching for Serenity { 03.22.10 at 11:12 am }

What a perfect analogy. So so true.

And Thank you!!

9 Kir { 03.22.10 at 11:22 am }

wow, that’s exactly it!!!! Perfect analogy as usual!!!

You’ve been better than any theraprist. 🙂

10 jrs { 03.22.10 at 11:24 am }

I was going to reference your post in my post today. I hope that’s okay


11 Calliope { 03.22.10 at 11:24 am }

perfect analogy. brilliant even. I am constantly feeling like I try to distract people while I am of in a corner achooing my emotional snot into my elbow.

12 susy { 03.22.10 at 11:30 am }

I needed this. Right now. And I’m so here for snot-examining w/ you! 😉

13 Rebecca { 03.22.10 at 11:34 am }

LOL. Leave it to you to come up with an analogy that is both poignant, hilarious and disgusting!!! 🙂 That’s really just perfect.

14 theworms { 03.22.10 at 11:48 am }

Great post 🙂


15 Shelli { 03.22.10 at 11:51 am }

Yep, this is exactly the reason I have not been writing as often. My emotions keep circling the same tidal pool, and I am worried readers will stop reading and get bored.

Actually, I think most have by now, so perhaps there truly is no good reason not to write. lol.

16 K { 03.22.10 at 12:18 pm }

Now that is SOME analogy, lol. But its true- thanks for reinforcing that our blogs are there for us to share with the world, but if people don’t like it, they don’t have to read so we should stay true to ourselves in the writing of it.

17 liljan98 { 03.22.10 at 12:34 pm }

I SO love that analogy. At the moment I hardly find the time to write anything, and even if I did I was usually whining about how stressed I am and why my life sucks at the moment then I felt guilty for boring my readers with the same boring topic and refrained from blogging any more.
Thanks for reminding me why I started with my blog in the first place. To clear my head of all the thoughts clogging it up. And if that means a zillion posts about stressful jobs or other stuff, so be it.

18 Katie { 03.22.10 at 12:53 pm }

You have no idea how much I needed to read this post. Thank you.

19 N { 03.22.10 at 12:53 pm }

I’ll be your tissue any day. 😉

20 Sarah { 03.22.10 at 1:07 pm }

Mel, I love this post. I’m sorta wishing I hadn’t sat down to read it during lunch, but that’s okay :).

21 KD { 03.22.10 at 1:59 pm }

thanks!! I needed to hear that!!

22 queenie { 03.22.10 at 2:00 pm }

This is EXACTLY why I blog-to dump the stuff out of my head that is making me crazy, to try to make sense of it, to rid myself of it all. It may bore some people, but it’s my blog, dammit,and I’ll write what I want to!

I think that the fact some women are afraid to be honest at the price of being repetitious and therefore dull, is itself a side effect of being female. We are such people pleasers, always wanting to be agreeable, always wanting other people to like us. Yet, it’s not good for us to live that way.

23 Lj { 03.22.10 at 2:27 pm }

I totally feel this way – a broken snotty-nosed record. Is anyone listening anymore? Wouldn’t blame them if they didn’t. Thanks for posting that – love the analogy.

24 Caro { 03.22.10 at 2:28 pm }

Great analogy

25 VA Blondie { 03.22.10 at 2:41 pm }

Just perfect, as always. Love the tissue analogy! I use my blog as a journal. To get out all the stuff I have rolling around in my head. Often it is nothing profound and it can get repetitive. I probably do bore people on a regular basis. So true!

26 Vee { 03.22.10 at 3:26 pm }

I am conscious of doing that and wondered if readers were sick of reading the same thing over and over….. thanks for making me feel it’s ok.

27 Melissa G. { 03.22.10 at 3:46 pm }

Ha ha, yet another great post.

Not sure if I’ve been much help, but you’re welcome and more importantly- Thank YOU!!!

28 once a mother { 03.22.10 at 3:47 pm }

sometimes i feel that way, like how much more can people read about my sadness/anger/etc over my dead child and infertility, but I keep writing anyway. It is cathartic. Glad to be a virtual kleenex, even if I don’t always comment.

29 Mrs. Hope { 03.22.10 at 3:50 pm }

Gah, how many draft posts I have sitting because when I need to write, I need to write and I dread sounding the same. But that *is* what’s in my head, and it *is* awful.

Hoping that sometimes at least, I can support instead of being supported.

30 a { 03.22.10 at 3:56 pm }

I have a friend who would be so grossed out by this by post that she would probably never read another blog again (if she reads blogs – I don’t know). She is THAT opposed to any mention of snot. So, of course, we used to torture her as frequently as possible.

Thanks – I often feel like a used kleenex anyway. 🙂

31 loribeth { 03.22.10 at 4:19 pm }

This is so true. In retrospect, I’ve noticed that often, not only am I blogging about the exact same subjects, but I use the exact same wording & illustrate my points with the exact same stories, & sometimes not just twice either. Fortunately, never two days in a row or anything like that, but over the time that I’ve kept my blog, & sometimes within weeks or just a few months. Thank you for making me feel like less of an idiot for doing this. ; ) : )

32 Michelle { 03.22.10 at 4:30 pm }

Thanks! I needed that because I feel like I am not doing anything right now (due to money ituation) towards infertility and all I do is bitch about it. I am worried people will get tired of just hearing me complain and not doing anything. So thanks again!

33 Jennifer { 03.22.10 at 4:36 pm }

Thanks! I needed to hear this. Great analogy!

34 Geochick { 03.22.10 at 4:41 pm }

Hilarious analogy. 🙂

35 Myndi { 03.22.10 at 4:50 pm }

That was a brilliant way of putting it! Thank you! After my loss, I was guilty of saying how guilty I felt about being negative and about saying the same thing every day. Having heard it put that way put my mind at ease.

36 Kimbosue { 03.22.10 at 4:53 pm }

Thanks for that. Now I need a physical Kleenex as this spring pollen is wrecking havoc on my sinuses.

37 TasIVFer { 03.22.10 at 5:56 pm }

That’s exactly what my blog is too! I don’t feel so bad about being a bit of a broken record. 🙂

38 jill { 03.22.10 at 6:08 pm }

Hah. Disgusting and oh so true 🙂

39 Lavender Luz { 03.22.10 at 6:49 pm }

Once again, you are brilliant with your metaphors.

This community is great with the virtual kleenex as well as with the virtual chicken soup.

40 Kim { 03.22.10 at 8:19 pm }

This is a really encouraging post (in a weird, mucus-centered kind of way!).

I started blogging not too long ago and already find great relief in expressing my daily thoughts and feelings (that oftentimes went completely unexamined and even unfelt before my blog). And I am already amazed by the supportive blogging community that a few months ago I didn’t even know existed.

41 Beautiful Mess { 03.22.10 at 8:41 pm }

I love the analogy! It’s absolutely perfect! We write to get it out and if there are friends there to comment and catch us that’s just icing on the cake. I love blogging, I don’t know what I would do without it!

42 Paz { 03.22.10 at 9:32 pm }

like the Rolling Stones said, schnott me up!

43 Heather { 03.23.10 at 12:34 am }

I often refrain from posting because I feel redundant. But you are right, some times things just need to be reposted and reposted. Because I notice that after a while it festers and then the post sounds manic and crazy, when I guess its just all built up and that just happened to be the day that it bubbled over.

44 B { 03.23.10 at 5:01 am }

But sometimes I just wonder if I am reinforcing stuff rather than blowing it away. Making one (victimish) way of telling my story become The Story, rather than one way of telling it. Blogging is certainly powerful for making a version of things become the truth of things.

45 Bea { 03.23.10 at 7:51 am }

First of all. I know plenty of people who apologise for blowing their noses yet again during colds. They are always told not to apologise for it. Sincerely and sympathetically. Unless it’s their 34th apology in a row. At a certain point the listener kind of wants an apology for all the apologising. But I digress – although an apology (singular) is a sweet acknowledgement that not everyone likes snot, at the same time there is no reason at all the blogger/blower shouldn’t go ahead and blow, however many times is necessary (unless in Japan, where you should buy a face mask and sniff it up, but I’m not sure what the blogging etiquette is, so perhaps it’s not worth trying to stretch the analogy).

Does the repeating reinforce rather than allow you to throw the (metaphorical) snot away (as per B)? Perhaps sometimes – other times not. If its not helping you to blow, I think definitely you shouldn’t blow. Or blog (at least in that way). It can certainly be tricky to know what will work for you in advance, sometimes, and to an extent you have to try things out and watch to see what works.

But if it’s working to repeat things over and over – definitely go ahead.

And I hope your “nose” is clearing.


46 Jules { 03.23.10 at 8:06 am }

Another Great Post!!

Off to blow my nose.

47 Gerardine Baugh { 03.23.10 at 6:23 pm }

Here’s a virtual lace hankie, monogrammed with little purple and yellow flowers…have a great day!

48 Kristin { 03.23.10 at 9:38 pm }

OMG, with as shitty as I feel right now, you still made me laugh with “So thank you to everyone who reads this blog, for being my virtual Kleenex to which I can blow all this verbal snot out on. “

49 Krissi { 03.23.10 at 10:22 pm }

Sometimes I feel lika a broken record but it’s needed at times! Virtual Kleenex! Love it! 😉

50 Carrie { 03.23.10 at 10:41 pm }

Great analogy even if it was a little gross 😉

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