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Green Beer and Ill Communication

The Wolvog woke up Monday morning and informed us that his new name was a garbled mess that closely resembled Lucifer Dirty.  This is not the remarkable part because he often changes his name.  Last month, he asked us to call him by a single moniker: Shimps.

We tried to understand the new name and repeated what we heard several times, each time sending the Wolvog into a new fit when we didn’t pronounce it correctly (Lucifer Ditty?  Joosifer Dirty?  Chance Barbie?).  The boy was sobbing into his pillow over the idea that his parents couldn’t say his new name, the only name he would now have for the rest of his life until he changed it again next month.

When I picked him up from school, he told me in a voice reeking of incredulity that no one called him by his new name at school.  “Did you tell them your new name?” I asked.  No, he hadn’t.  But it was just that powerful a name that he assumed that somehow, it would enter their minds via telepathy.

I finally asked him to spell it and with a few stops and starts, he finally settled on this:

Jancefer Birdie

“Google it,” he told me.  So I did, and Google told me that not only was the full name not found on any page, but Jancefer alone was not found either.  He smiled this secret, pleased smile, the sort of smile an evil dictator does when they’ve seen a particularly appealing beheading.

Later in the evening, I finally found the source of his new name, a Google app for the iPhone called Let’s Golf where the game shouts out in the promo: “chance for a birdie!”  Which reminded me of a friend who had a younger brother who named his goldfish Kimber because that’s what he thought people called out when they chopped down a tree.

But why explain that and spoil it?

I am thrilled that my son, Jancefer, has picked up my inability to hear things correctly (I am the Queen of the Wrong Lyric).

In addition to catching us up on your life, tell us your best mondegreen.

And happy almost St. Patrick’s Day (unless you’re reading this on Wednesday and in that case, happy St. Patrick’s Day)!

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.


1 Rebecca { 03.16.10 at 11:24 am }

It’s not mine, but the one I like best is from a Manic Street Preachers song. The original says “A bronze moth dies easily”. The singer really sounds like he says, “I bronze my thighs easily”. Good to know.

2 niobe { 03.16.10 at 11:46 am }

I wanna rock and roll all night
And part of every day

Because even rock n rollers need their sleep….

3 Rebecca { 03.16.10 at 11:58 am }

“Give to me your letter, take from me my name” Stevie Nicks (real words: “give to me your leather, take from me my lace”)

I was sure that they were getting married and she was saying that she was taking his name (“your letter” meaning his monogram, I guess) and giving up hers. Since I didn’t want to change my name when I got married, I thought it was a very submissive way to say it. TAKE my name from me? Sheesh!

Although, now that I think about it — it could be exactly the other way around! She’s telling him to change his name and take hers! 🙂

I’d like a couple of pints of those green beers. This has been a stressful week. Lots of work stress, hormones and just general uncertainty about where we go from here. Is my RE good enough? Is she aggressive enough? How on earth will I find another one since I live in the middle of nowhere? I wish I could figure out how to relax!

4 jill { 03.16.10 at 12:00 pm }

I’m pretty sure I had a couple funny mondegreens (never knew there was a term for this phenomenon – thanks!) in the past but sadly I can’t think of any right now.

I need something strong and I don’t care what it is! I’ve been having a hard time dealing with the “real life” pregnancies that seem to be everywhere lately. Seriously, one more happy announcement and I’m going to buy the first plane ticket to some far away tropical island and stay there for at least a month.

I’m also struggling with my job and I’m not sure what to do about it. I don’t blog about the details much because I’m not really sure what they are. I’m just so unhappy at work. I can’t quit though – I’m lucky to have a stable job that pays me well and that I have insurance. I just feel stuck. *takes a big swig*

5 mrslala { 03.16.10 at 12:03 pm }

I can’t think of a single instance off hand, but I hear things wrong more often than I hear them correctly. I’m 90% sure that I have an auditory processing disorder. Goood times. =)

6 a { 03.16.10 at 12:03 pm }

Waaaay back when, I was an “academically precocious” 13 year old taking a journalism class at Northwestern U. In our textbook was an essay that I think was called “I Led the Pigeons to the Flag,” which was all about the mondegreens. I loved that essay so much that I still have the book. 28 years later.

Thanks, Niobe, for the chuckle!

My favorite misheard lyric, though, is from a Rob Thomas song (Lonely No More, I think). He says “Open up to me like you do your girlfriends.” I always hear “Open up to me, so I can do your girlfriends.” I think I’m just the suspicious sort. 🙂

7 Heather { 03.16.10 at 12:06 pm }

I’m too ashamed to tell mine…

Right now we are doing shots for our third IUI…

8 a { 03.16.10 at 12:06 pm }

Also, my daughter renames things constantly (although not herself). She’ll ask me what something is, I’ll tell her, and then she’ll say, “I want to call it…(insert other name or made up name).” And all of her imaginary friends or stuffed animals at some point have the name Chaba.

9 Beautiful Mess { 03.16.10 at 12:10 pm }

There are WAY too many for me to even begin to name! I can not hear a song correctly the first time. Once I hear it my way, it’s my way forever! Which is why I don’t sing in public, that and I have a HORRIBLE singing voice.

My last final is today in a few hours!!!! I’ll take something that will calm my nerves and then after my final, I’ll have a bottle of something. Anything!
P.S Laughing at A’s misheard lyric! I love it!

10 Royalyne { 03.16.10 at 12:10 pm }

It’s been forever since I visited, and I haven’t touched my blog in 2 years (I don’t even remember the password), but I miss your company.

To answer your question, I will give you my older cousin’s translation of a song. I always thought she was wrong, but her being older and quite evil, I sang it her way to avoid bruises and her refusing to play with me… The song is “The Love You Save” by the Jackson 5:
I got my butt way before my crotchee….

The real words:
Look both ways before you cross me…

I am going out tomorrow night for a real Long Island Ice Tea, so Mel, I would like something else here. Something that speaks to the springtime I am experiencing out my window, and the suck of suddenly being unemployed because my boss is a raging bitch. Actually, I think a Long Island works just fine in this situation, and since it’s virtual I can afford the best of the best top shelf liquor. Hey, it’s after noon by 10 whole minutes, drink up.

11 Holly { 03.16.10 at 12:26 pm }

Your blog made me smile and remember when my brother, who was about 6 at the time, asked us to start calling him “Spike.” A month later, he changed his mind and wanted to go by “Dead Eye Duck.” Now he’s all grown up and just goes by “Pete.”

Please send your good thoughts and any Irish blessings my way. I’ll be having IUI on St. Patricks Day, my seventh overall but first one with fertility shots (HMG) and the HCG trigger.

12 christina { 03.16.10 at 12:27 pm }

I don’t have any off the top of my head, but my mom is deaf in one ear and it makes for some hysterical ones. I’m currently dealing with month 6 of ear popping and one ear is stopped up so I can’t hear too well out of it. I definitely feel like a little old man who has to say “hhhaaaahhhhhhh???” after everything that is said to me.

I’m pulling up a barstool, but I’ll just take water, thankfully! Though I have been stressed enough to need a bottle of wine! We had our 6w u/s on Thursday and there was no hb, so we had to wait all weekend on pins and needles, hoping & praying for the best, preparing ourselves for the worst. I got bloodwork on Friday and my levels were really high…the RE called on Saturday, sounding somber and said that with levels that high, he would have like to have seen more activity on the u/s, but to keep my chin up and he’d see me on Monday. I was on a self-induced semi-bedrest and took it easy all weekend (except on the nerves and emotions) and, thankfully, we were able to HEAR the heartbeat yesterday!! Such a relief after having lost a little girl in December. I’m beginning to dread ultrasounds…

So…water for me, but in a wine glass please, so I can pretend. And cheers to everyone!

13 Katie { 03.16.10 at 12:34 pm }

“Hold me closer Tony Danza.” — Elton John. I didn’t find out that those weren’t the words until the episode of Friends where Phoebe sings the exact same lyrics. So embarrassing! My family still won’t let me live that one down.

I’m pulling up a stool and ordering a White Russian. We’re closing on our house on Thursday, I have a lumpectomy on Friday, and I have two baby events next month that I’m dreading. On second thought, maybe I’m better off with a shot of tequila!

14 christina { 03.16.10 at 12:38 pm }

@Katie-lol. I’m sure many a woman said those very words in the late 80’s/early 90’s. I’ll never hear that song the same way!

15 Kir { 03.16.10 at 12:58 pm }

my favorite misteps (of mine) with lyrics is the 80’s Quarterflash song: “I’m gonna harden my heart..I’m gonna swallow my tears” I always sang “I’m gonna swallow my tea herbs..” who the Hell knows why? Did I think Tea was going to help her get over what’s his name?? 🙂

I’d like a fancy glass for my Diet Coke..Caffeine Free please..I don’t have a lot going on, I am status quo these days, crazy and busy and every once in a while I hope to win the lottery so that I can contemplate doing IVF for a daughter and then *seriously* I wake up!!!!
Hope all my GFs in blogland are doing well, Cheers to all of you..and good luck with whatever is on your heart these days. <3

16 Pundelina { 03.16.10 at 1:07 pm }

I’ll take a big Black Russian cause I can only have virtual grog until this rotten thesis is finished. Just finished the final draft of the literature review tonight (4 drafts later!). 14 days to go and only about 2000 words left to write!

Can’t think of any Lady Mondegreen’s right now but I know I’ve sung ’em in the past. I love the Tony Danza lyric! I am totally going to be singing that from now on.


17 Mrs. Gamgee { 03.16.10 at 1:10 pm }

Oh, I know I have embarassed myself countless times with the wrong lyrics. Unfortunately, I can’t think of a single one just now.

I’ll have something warm and soothing… maybe a hot chocolate with baileys. I’m feeling very anxious during this tww (8dpo) and I think I’m getting a cold too. Just trying to stay distracted.

18 Kristin { 03.16.10 at 1:15 pm }

My favorite misheard lyric or mondegreen or chronic lyricosis is from Blinded By The Light (by Manfred Mann’s Earth Band). I know the lyrics are “Blinded by the light, revved up like a deuce, another runner in the night”, I hear “Blinded by the light, revved up like a douche, another runner in the night”.

My personal life is in pretty good shape but I’m really angry about cancer affecting people I know. I think I’ll have a great big Purple Alaskan Thunderfuck (the name seems appropriate for my mood).

19 Terry Elisabeth { 03.16.10 at 1:21 pm }

I’m at work and I’m secretly reading this and I want to say STOP IIIITTT I’m choking up, I don’t want people to hear me laugh !!!

20 Terry Elisabeth { 03.16.10 at 1:22 pm }

Of course I’m talking about the mondegreens. The cycle stories don’t make me laugh.

21 Heather { 03.16.10 at 1:23 pm }

My daughter, at the ripe old age of 2, called her father “Dammit Sebastian” for months (as, this was my favorite name for him!).

I’ll stick to my glass of wine, as usual. Because I’m always predictable! 😉

I was thinking of you as I wrote today. You and all my new friends here are the only ones who understand. BIG FAT SQUISHY hugs.

22 Alexicographer { 03.16.10 at 1:23 pm }

@a, I always hear that Rob Thomas song the same way.

Mine’s not a lyric, but my stepdaughter came into my life as a teenager, and suddenly I was attending a bunch of softball games, a new experience for me. When her team played against a team with a very vocal coach, I couldn’t for the life of me figure out why he wanted each girl on his team who came to bat to “Get your cell phone!” (“Get yourself on [base]”).

Oh, and there’s my stepson, famous both for, “Don’t go, Jason Waterfalls!” (“Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls). Perhaps next month Wolvog can be Jason Waterfalls. And, “Everytime you go away, you take a piece of meat [me] with you.”

I’ve just had my last BFN, which doesn’t sound so bad except we require IVF, so it was also my last chance for a BFP. Now working on getting my head around my son being raised in an “only child” sort of way (as his 2 adult (half)siblings now have their own homes). Darnit. I’ve mostly been sticking with red wine, so maybe a Merlot?

23 Christa { 03.16.10 at 1:34 pm }

I’ll have the usual, chocolate martini. I just had my first D&C last week after losing our baby at 8 weeks. I did so well for about a week and now I find myself more and more depressed, wondering whether to go for another IVF or move on to domestic or embryo adoption. So many choices yet only enough money to be able to choose once and hope it succeeds. Infertility sucks

24 serenity { 03.16.10 at 1:34 pm }

Ha! My mondegreens weren’t as funny as my little sister’s, who used to think that “We Built this City on Rock and Roll” was actually “A Milk is Sitting on Rock and Roll.” I still giggle at it, akshully.

So, um hi. It’s been a long time since I’ve ordered from here. (A sangria, please?) I haven’t come as often because I’ve been in such a good place and always hated the “ooo I’m SO HAPPY!” when I was trying.

Thing is, I’m still in a good place. Mostly. I’m currently training for a half marathon next month. I’m considering doing a full marathon in October. I’ve lost 20lbs since you saw me last November. I have an amazing little boy now… who will be two tomorrow.

It’s just… well, it’s going by SO QUICKLY. I mean, just a minute ago he was BORN. Seriously. I’m trying to stay in the moment and enjoy every little bit of it, but there’s a big part of me that mourns the passage of these 2 years. Because every day he’s growing AWAY from me. And I haven’t really acknowledged it, not really. I LOVE the person he’s becoming. But I mourn the baby he was, too. It’s all bittersweet and tangled up.

And this morning I saw a mom at daycare of whom I hadn’t seen in a long time. Her younger daughter M is in O’s young toddler class. The last time I saw M’s mom, she had just bought herself a brand new minivan. And this morning the reason for it was clear .

Big old pregnant belly. (Her third.)

The combination of O’s upcoming birthday and unexpectedly seeing a pregnant belly this morning is just sort of bittersweet. Sad, really. Because I have everything I thought I ever wanted. I should be satisfied, shouldn’t I?

I’m not though. And I’m starting to wonder if all this running is really a way to put off dealing with secondary IF.

25 Allison { 03.16.10 at 2:01 pm }

Oh, where to begin…. For some time, I thought the song “Bedrock” said “Call me Mr. Flintstone, I can make you better.” Y’know. Like the vitamins? Then one day, I shut my trap and didn’t sing along – and realized it’s “I can make your bed rock.” Right.

Oh dear, sweet, bartender, I’ll take anything, just make it strong, puhleease. I’m in my first cycle since my early miscarriage (which was my first pregnancy in 3 years of trying, though I’ve been dealing with IF and its counterpart, endo, since 2005) and floundering between “OHMYGAWD, MAKE IT HAPPEN AGAIN” and “I’m sofa king scared of losing another one I don’t think I could handle it am I really ready to try again.”

26 Sarah { 03.16.10 at 2:14 pm }

Beatles – Michelle
“Some day Mokie won’t play piano song, play piano song.”
I had NO clue they were speaking French…

DH has a cute one – he thought Hank Williams was singing “Willie the Honky Tonk Moose” haha.

27 Caitlin { 03.16.10 at 2:15 pm }

This has me rolling on the floor reading everyone’s mondegreens! My cousin called me one day a few years back to ask me the lyrics to “Buttons” by the PCD…he thought the words were “Lotion up my butt and spank” and in reality they are “Loosen up my buttons, babe.” No joke…I will never let him live that down!

I will have something really strong – since this is virtul and all. A Long Island – double tall. I’ve had a rough go of it lately. Sheesh I can’t even remember the last time I participated in the virtual lushery…I’ve been off of blogging for a while. Lost both of my tubes the second to the last day of 2009 so I’ve been *trying* to deal. Started seeing a new therapist, Maggie. She’s great so far…just slowly coming back to life. I think the sun-shiny weather may be helping a bit…

28 Elizabeth { 03.16.10 at 2:18 pm }

Mondegreen: when I was a kid learning to sing the ABC song, I thought for a long time that L M N O was “Ella Menno.” Funny story along those lines – when I was an adult visiting South Africa, I called somewhere for directions and was told to take a highway the name of which I couldn’t decipher although it sounded like “Enema.” I asked “How do you spell that?” and got a long silence in response. When I looked at a map I realized that it was the “NMR” highway.

I’ll have a peach mojito because I wish it was summer already. Tomorrow we’re having our big anatomy ultrasound.

29 a { 03.16.10 at 2:30 pm }

@Elizabeth: NMR highway…hahahahahahaha! That’s awesome!

30 loribeth { 03.16.10 at 2:30 pm }

You’re a lifesaver, Mel. Just leave a pitcher of frozen margaritas at my table. ; ) Yesterday at work, I somehow managed to close a Word file I’d been slaving over for two hours — without saving any of the changes. Yep, two hours of brilliance, wiped out in a click. Back to the drawing board. Today has been better, but overall, I’m going through a rough period at work. There are changes afoot that I don’t want to go into here (& I’m sure I don’t even know all of them yet). My immediate boss is on vacation right now & someone else is getting ready to go, so we’re very short-staffed. As well, most of my immediate coworkers over the past 20 years have either been childless, newlywed or had older children, so I’m not used to lots of mommy talk at the office — but that has changed. There’s a new person sitting kitty-corner to me who has a daughter the same age (18 months-ish) as the one mom I do work with. They talk about their kids together almost every day, & she’s on the phone with her nanny frequently. Gahhhh!!!

And I’m pretty sure AF is on her way to visit. :p So bring on the margaritas!

I know I have my own mondegreens, but I can’t think of any offhand at the moment.

31 Blanche { 03.16.10 at 2:51 pm }

I originally thought Boot Scooting Boogie was BooB Scooting Boogie. Yeah. Hey, I’m short, and many restaurant booth tables are tall with low seats so I end up being able to rest my boobs on the table. Made sense to me…

Since it’s virtual, send me over a nice fruity rum punch with an umbrella (please!) so I can pretend I’m off somewhere tropical and warm. Other than being tired of the cold, life is really going pretty well, so no complaints here.

32 m. { 03.16.10 at 2:53 pm }

Just call me angel of the morning, angel.
Just touch my teeth before you leave me…..

I think I was maybe in college when someone told me it was “cheek.” Well heck, maybe Juice Newton could have enunciated better, no?

But my baby brother’s mondegreen is way better. I remember him running around the house as a kid singing:

“I’m a cheerio….I’m a cheerio…”

And being like, dude. What the hell are you saying? And him looking at me like I was an idiot and saying, “uh, that song from Madonna, stupid. That one that’s always on the radio.”

Oh right, Material Girl. Got it. Thanks. Punk.

Lately we’ve been drinking pisco sours in honor of our Chileno friends. So you could blend me up some of them, or better yet, let me whip some up for y’all. I love getting friends tipsy.

33 PiquantMolly { 03.16.10 at 2:59 pm }

You know the song,

“Ooo eee ooo I look just like Buddy Holly
Oh Oh and you’re Mary Tyler Moore
I don’t care what they say about us anyway
I don’t care ’bout that.”

My sister used to swear that the third line was “I don’t care what they say about seaweed.”

No reason.

34 HereWeGoAJen { 03.16.10 at 3:06 pm }

Can I just have a Dr. Pepper with caffeine? Sigh. I haven’t had a Dr. Pepper in ages.

I don’t remember the actual song, but my mis-hearing of it was “charboiled and free.” I thought Burger King could use it for a nice promotion.

35 MommyinWaiting { 03.16.10 at 3:14 pm }

“Don’t cry for me Aunty Tina” known to most as “Don’t cry for me Argentine”. Actually it really speaks to my heart at the moment, since my mom passed away last month I have spoken to my god-mother (Aunty Tina) more than in the previous ten years – maybe even more.

Since my mom’s suicide I have been somewhat distracted from TTC thoughts which is just as well as we still have NO sperm after over six months of my poor man being jabbed in the bum almost nightly. So hell with no sperm, I guess we aren’t really trying so make mine a double vodka on the rocks!

36 niobe { 03.16.10 at 3:20 pm }

And how could I forget Bruce Springsteen’s “Ten Devils in a Freezer.”

(known to most of the rest of the world as “Tenth Avenue Freeze-out”

37 Vee { 03.16.10 at 3:43 pm }

AC/DC song lyrics are “it’s a long way to the top if you wanna rock and roll” often sung ” it’s a long way to the shop if you wanna sausage roll”

I am just tired I feel like life is just go, go, go at the moment. Any bevvy would help with the sleep but what can I give a 6.5 month old. I would just like a few extra hours in the morning 🙂

38 Michelle { 03.16.10 at 3:57 pm }

Do you read Gene Weingarten’s online chats? Jancefer has given himself a name that Gene (or one of his readers, I don’t recall) has termed a “Googlenope.” Well done. (Although, now that you’ve written about it, it’s a Googlenope no more.)

I could use a virtual drink. I’ve had two positive betas and have an ultrasound scheduled for Friday. After a cycle this summer that ended in miscarriage due to blighted ovum, I am terrified.

39 Calliope { 03.16.10 at 5:10 pm }

YAY for the lushary being open. And double yay for a Beastie Boy nod in the title of this post. and triple yay on new names that ROCK. (I am seriously impressed.)

I’ll take a spiked lemonade please.

I used to sing, “You might as well face it you’re a dick to love” and even once I stood corrected I still think my lyric is better.

40 Rachel { 03.16.10 at 5:24 pm }

I need something strong. This was my week.

H got a stomach bug and was throwing up until 2 am giving me looks like, “Why is this happening Mommy?” and no 7 month old should have that look. Then I caught it. Then T caught it. Then is started pouring. Then the cat got sick and I had to take him to the ER. Then the basement flooded. Then I had to take the cat to a follow up appointment and got a flat tire on the way. Then H poopsploded in the vet’s office and I had to keep him in his poopy clothes. At least the basement drained and it’s sunny finally. But I’m ready to have a boring day.

41 Rachel { 03.16.10 at 5:27 pm }

Oh, and I used to think in My Country Tis of Thee that the line was ‘of the icing’ until one day, when I was way too old, I thought, “Oh! Of *thee* I *sing*!!!”


42 Eve { 03.16.10 at 5:43 pm }

Belly laughing at all these…seriously, Niobe, Elizabeth. In fact. I was going to claim “ellamen-o” as mine as well…but since that’s been done, I will claim one from my sister’s friend, who confindently sang out, “I want my antique-ees!” to the song, “Money for Nothing” (ie: I want my MTV!). Ah, fond memories of Tony Danza, too.

In RL, I’ll keep chugging my ice water, but in the virtual world, I’ll sip on a iced mocha with a nice amount of Baileys. Yesterday and today have been better days. This weekend was rough. I’m on complete bedrest and anticipating 34 weeks in my pregnancy this Friday. Doing the dichotomous task of planning a nursery for Abby, my surviving twin, and planning a memorial service for Will, my twin who died. Continually mixed up but finding my smile again, if ever so little by little.

43 Rebecca { 03.16.10 at 6:07 pm }

Still unemployed, still not a mother, still missing my dad. Life just is.

44 NotTheMama { 03.16.10 at 6:31 pm }

I have been laughing and trying to think of my own mis-hear… The only think I can think of is some country song I heard growing up – I swore it said “I spill tea all over your B-O-D,” which being interpreted is, “I smell T-R-O-U-B-L-E”…. My poor husband doesn’t really know all of the correct words for any one song!
Sigh… Just pour me anything, strongest drink I’ve ever had IRL is Mellow Yellow! No sperm, no pregnancy, no reason why I can’t enjoy the occassional sip or two, if only in my mind! 😉 Just hangin on until May – time off work for vacation, celebrating our third anniversary, and starting adoption paperwork!

45 Manapan { 03.16.10 at 8:50 pm }

Instead of “Afroman likes tall cans / Afroman likes tall cans”, I always heard “Afroman likes small cans / Afroman likes taaaalking”. I assumed Afroman was trying to showcase his good qualities in a song otherwise about his rampant alcoholism in a desperate bid to find a nice partner. In that spirit, green beer sounds lovely!

As for what’s going on? Lots of Prometrium to induce what isn’t going on but darn well ought to be by CD 40. Hoping I’ll at least ovulate once that finally works, because it would be totally effed up to get pregnant more easily ON the pill than off it.

46 TasIVFer { 03.16.10 at 9:40 pm }

I keep my husband amused by constantly mishearing things. I don’t remember what I misheard, but I once was really upset with him for a day or so because I thought he’d said something really hurtful – but when I finally got around to discussing it with him it’s heard him totally wrong. some mondegreens have even wound up as part of our ‘couple dialect’. For example, instead of saying something is ‘buttered’, in our house it is ‘butthead’. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of any others – but there are lots!

Since it’s virtual, may I please have something alcoholic – *anything* just as long as it has alcohol?! I promise that in the ‘meat’ world I’ve not had alcohol in many months. And I promise that in my time zone (I’m in Australia) it’s after noon. However I’m just physically and emotionally exhausted. I’ve been going to the gym every morning at 6 am in a desperate attempt to gain some of the fitness IVF has stolen from me so I have some chance of this working one day. Today I followed the gym with an FS appointment – 1st one since my cycle that resulted in 0 embryos so I was very nervous. And had I not lost my little boy, I would have been 27 weeks pregnant today and he would be due in 3 months. So I’d really like a drink now, please!

47 Liddy { 03.16.10 at 9:55 pm }

E likes eclectic music and I am hearing things that are not there. I cannot think of one right now because my mind is on other things.

Thank you for opening the virtual lushery. I’ll take a vodka cranberry, where there is more vodka than cranberry. Light pink in color would be excellent and if it is 2 for 1’s even better. Why? My husband’s torsion has returned. It is enough that my dear bloggy sister S4S wrote, ‘shit’ for her comment on my blog post about the return of torsion. It truly is shit.

48 Leah { 03.16.10 at 10:03 pm }

I can’t believe that I am unable to come up with a single one when I am world-famous for belting out outrageously wrong lyrics. *sigh* If I can come up with something, I’ll be back…

Megan changes her name too. A lot. It started before Nursery school, so it’s been going on for years. As a matter of fact, for the first 7 weeks of Nursery school, she would ONLY answer to the name “Ariel.” In fact, at her 3rd birthday party, we mistakenly all sang, “Happy birthday, dear Megan…” and she burst into tears because we didn’t sing, “Happy birthday, dear Ariel.” I could be talking to her as she was sitting right next to me… “Megan. Megan. Megan!” and it was truly like she was deaf. However, if I as much as whispered, “Ariel” her ears would perk right up. Insane.

Now mostly she changes her name to her friends’ name. She often insists that we call her Isabella or Sophia or one of her other classmates’ names. Ooooh, but then there was the month that she spent acting wounded and agitated because we were stupid enough to tell her we almost named her Michaela — and, it turns out, she REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY wanted to be named Michaela so why did we name her Megan? Good grief. Get over yourself, crazy small person.

As for drinking, I am going to need something with caffeine. I googled images the other day looking for a candle with 8 – 9 ends all burning simultaneously. I didn’t find one, but that’s exactly how I feel. I’ve been so busy and exhausted that I genuinely hallucinated something over the weekend because I was so tired. Seems that a steady sleep diet of 2.5 – 3.5 hours total per night doesn’t exactly agree with me. I need to fix that pronto before I self-destruct.

Boy, what an obnoxiously long comment. Sorry. Anyway, for my drink I think I’ll actually take a Galliano Hot Shot (1 shot of coffee, 1 shot of Galliano liquor, 1 dollop of whipped cream). I love the crazy combination of depressant (alcohol) and stimulants (coffee and sugar) that makes you really drunk but totally aware of how drunk you are. Neato.

49 Michelle { 03.16.10 at 10:04 pm }

Mine was I thought wind chill was wind shield for ever. But the best one I have actually came from my sis. For the song “(You Make Me Feel Like A )Natural Woman” by Aretha Franklin. She thought the lyrics were “You make me feel like a man but you are a woman”. I will never forget the day she came out with that and I was driving and could barely pull to the side of the rode I was laughing so hard! Give me something strong with vodka in it and keep em’ comin’.

Anyway, it has been a rough month for me. We are filing for bankruptcy and going to lose our house and I have no hopes of a job soon and have no idea how I will ever be able to have IVF and get my baby. I am not getting any younger yet I feel like I am getting further and further from my goals.

50 Aunt Misfit { 03.17.10 at 1:48 am }

“Donuts make my brown eyes blue.” I’ve been laughing quite a bit at other’s posts here.

Lemon drop, for sure. It will be the second cycle kicking off since the D and C, and still no answers on why I’ve had 5 non-starter pregnancies. It’s a sad day when you are depressed that people don’t find something wrong with you. So, moving forward, no new plan of attack for any subsequent pregnancy other than hope for a good one.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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