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Welcome to the Overlook Hotel: Dispatches from Snowmageddon Part Five

For the love of G-d, we are still snowed in.

Tomorrow will mark a full week of being in this house with the sole break being a harrowing hour-long trip to get to the food store and back, a food store that is within walking distance of our home and which takes about 5 minutes to get to on a normal day via car if you take into account the two or three traffic lights and stop signs along the way.  When we got there, clutching a list that included yogurt and sushi (why would someone need sushi if they’re snowed in?  Please don’t ask why–only those who have been house-bound for a week can understand), we discovered that when cars can’t get to the store, trucks can’t get to the store either.  We left with pan au chocolat and sparkling fruit juice instead.

On Tuesday afternoon, the snow started again.  We spent the evening by the window, commenting on the fact that it was snowing yet again and wondering where the plows would put the snow.  It turned out to be an empty worry–the plows simply didn’t come.

On Wednesday, the snow blew sideways in gusts and we spent the day on edge, waiting for the power to go out.  I went upstairs to work on the laptop offline and somehow got sucked into signing up for StumbleUpon.  I blame the snow for my absolute lapse in reading skills.  I somehow clicked on something or didn’t click on something which meant that an email inviting people to join StumbleUpon was sent to all 4000+ contacts in my address book.  Which was really annoying and I apologize for that.  But please, it wasn’t me.  It was the snow.

Though I would love to follow you on StumbleUpon if you’re on there.

So I spent the afternoon playing with StumbleUpon, finding it a fun coincidence that I was inside the house doing idiotic things with StumbleUpon while my neighbours were outside their house doing idiotic things such as stumbling through their snow-covered yard in a blizzard.  They built an enormous tunnel through a ten-foot tall snow drift.  Josh bitterly sat by the window watching to see if the drift would collapse and crush them so he could go outside and dig them out.  Please, don’t say we’re not neighbourly.

I also hooked up Skype, something I’ve avoided doing since I first heard about Skype.  I couldn’t see any good coming from the person seeing what I look like when I’m speaking to them.  But our house had slowly morphed into the Shining, and snow-bound and slightly hysterical, the idea of human contact, even if it was through a cold computer screen, seemed like an oasis.  I spoke to my brother while crouching on the floor next to my bed, prompting him to ask what the hell has happened to us.

What the hell has happened to us?  We’re snowed in!  We’ve run out of baby carrots!  I can’t get out to get my eyebrows done!  We’re at the point where we have played so much Wii Fit Plus in the past few days that we have created imaginary pets as our new Miis.  We are spending hours at a time lying on the living room floor, staring at the fluff and making up new pretend words.  On Tuesday afternoon, I brought out the guitar and played the same two chords for over an hour, narrating everything the twins did in song.  This is what happens to people who are snowed in.

And getting more snow on Monday.

Last night, I took a deep breath and made a new schedule for today.  We will wake up and shovel snow.  I’ll go running on Wuhu Island.  We’ll bake cookies and suck the twins into helping with the candy making by pretending that we’re in our own version of Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (They are totally grooving on this book so I set up the reenactment with a Kit Kat wrapped with an aluminum foil ticket that says that they won a tour of Milly Monka’s factory–obviously Willy Wonka with a vagina.  Being snowed in brings out creative bursts which only propel you further into madness.  Probably by this evening, I’ll be telling the kids that I’ll only answer to the name Milly Monka and be walking around the living room with my arms completely enrobed in chocolate).

Because there is a craziness that is setting in here, a craziness that comes with the fact that the snow is higher than the car windows.  With the fact that plows are nowhere in sight, that the Federal government has shut down and the Metro not running above-ground.  That we may not be able to go out until the weekend and that weekend trip will be to prepare for the Monday snow.  And it goes on and it goes on and it goes on.

39 comments

1 Chris { 02.11.10 at 9:08 am }

So, I’m guessing it would be just plain rude to mention that we are expecting sunny skies and 77 degrees every day for the next week? That’s what I thought. So I won’t mention it.

I hope you don’t go stark raving mad before the snow lets up, and that you are able to amuse yourselves without withering away from too much wii fit, but then you do have all those cookies and candies to counteract that.

2 Elizabeth { 02.11.10 at 9:16 am }

Wow. If I was a bird, I’d come tap on your window to keep you company.

3 tash { 02.11.10 at 9:24 am }

Ok, so my snow day goes like this: invite neighbors and kids over at 8 a.m. for pancakes. They stay til about noon; kids alternating between Mario and outside where they had a massive snowball fight and fort building session. Everyone chilled with their own peeps for a few, and then all the kids got back together in the afternoon for play elsewhere. More snowball fights. We had a power surge last night, but thankfully didn’t lose it totally — and I had already made veggie soup on the stove which we all ate for dinner. Today I’d like a shower and a fire, neither of which happened yesterday. We took the camera out this a.m., Mr. ABF is out with the snowblower, and I’m dreading Monday. It will be a holiday thank goodness, but Mr. ABF will likely be out of town and a neighbor has kindly agreed to snowblow me out if I need it. I think right now we’re all praying for school at least tomorrow since the kids already have two scheduled days off next week. Gah.

Hang tough. Wish I could send over some Tuscan veggie soup. Or some of my neighbors. They really know how to make the most of these kinda days.

4 a { 02.11.10 at 9:33 am }

They don’t need snowplows at this point; they need bobcats, dump trucks, and lots of parks. When you get 3 feet of snow, plowing is no longer useful. You have to move to snow removal. Scoop up snow, put in dump truck, dump snow in park. Repeat. That’s how we ended up with 7 foot snow mountains behind our school that lasted until June (in 1979). Snow removal.

Good luck. I hope you can get out for a while!

5 Pie { 02.11.10 at 9:37 am }

Oh man, it sounds rough over there. At least you still have power. Fingers crossed you all get out soon (that sounds like something you’d say to someone in prison. Huh.)

6 JJ { 02.11.10 at 9:41 am }

Im on there–I get sucked in and cant close my browser when I am Stumblin’! Im under reprojeans

Sorry the snow just keeps COMING! Hope you all can escape and go outside and play soon!

7 Delenn { 02.11.10 at 10:20 am }

Oh hon. I laugh at this post, but believe me, I am laughing with you. I feel the same way about Skype, but I have a feeling I would be doing the same thing. Being stuck in the house for a weekend storm was enough for me–I cannot imagine for days and days…one of the reasons why I clicked on your post today is because the title just so clicked with me–yep, its the Shining!

And the lack of sushi!!! Oh gosh!

One of Michael’s favorite books is CC & C factory! Glad you are so damn creative–you guys will get through this!!

Good luck today!

8 Meghan { 02.11.10 at 10:23 am }

I literally jumped for joy at the sight of a bobcat this morning. Cleared out the 6 ft high 20 ft wide plow pile. My little car now stands a fighting chance. In severe denial about this next storm

9 Heather { 02.11.10 at 10:38 am }

My eyebrows are totally resembling caterpillar’s and I’m not snowed in. I’m just lazy.

10 Stimey { 02.11.10 at 10:43 am }

Please don’t tell me there is going to be snow on Monday. Please don’t tell me there is going to be snow on Monday. Please don’t tell me there is going to be snow on Monday. I’m never leaving my house again, am I?

11 serenity { 02.11.10 at 10:44 am }

Wow. You know? That IS Snowmaggedon.

I’m giggling just a little bit at the image of you forcing everyone to call you Milly Monka, arms enrobed in chocolate.

Hope you get a break from the next storm.

xxx

12 Geochick { 02.11.10 at 10:50 am }

you make me giggle! Hope you don’t go completely crazy today. btw, not to get all geek-ed out on you but you can thank ENSO (El Nino Southern Oscillation) for all the snow you’re getting. I on the other hand am cursing ENSO for f-ing up my ski season.

13 Wendy { 02.11.10 at 10:58 am }

I will officially stop complaining now.

14 jodifur { 02.11.10 at 11:06 am }

At least you have power. Ahem.

15 Deb { 02.11.10 at 11:08 am }

I hope there is an escape soon. I was hoping that we could take some of the brunt of the storm away but our weatherpeople were slightly off on the predictions. However, we did have an earthquake that may have opened up a new fault line… so that is a bonus you don’t have to deal with 😛 Have fun baking!

16 mybumpyjourney { 02.11.10 at 11:11 am }

YIKES.. I am cracking up over the vision of you singing what the twin are doing…that is totally what I do. Except I can’t sing. 🙂 I am so sorry you are bored out of your skull. That stinks.
The loonies are predicted snow here in the panhandle of florida tomorrow and people are getting nutso. gah. I am just rolling my eyes b/c even if it DOES snow it won’t stick- the ground is too warm, and it will be inthe 40s-50s the next day anyways.
I want to punch Al Gore in the mouth. 🙂 Global warming my keister.
I do think I am going to freeze my hoo haa off this weekend in the Mardi Gras Parade though….YIKES!!!

17 Laurie { 02.11.10 at 11:19 am }

Yeah, I’ve been here by myself since Tuesday morning so I’ve taken to rocking back and forth and gchatting extensively thanking the universe that I was able to stay connected in that way.

I think I can actually get off of my court today. Let me know if you need anything!

18 Kristin { 02.11.10 at 11:30 am }

I finally figured out why I love you Mel. YOu are just as warped and twisted as I am. You totally had me with Milly Monka.

Stay safe, stay warm.

19 loribeth { 02.11.10 at 12:06 pm }

The occasional snow day is fun, but FIVE in a row?? Hello, cabin fever! There does come a point when the novelty wears off. I hope the snowplows soon reach your street & liberate you.

20 liljan98 { 02.11.10 at 12:27 pm }

How on earth do you stay sane after being locked in for almost a week. Or don’t you? I love reading your snowmaggedon stories, but I have to admit I do read it with the safe comfort that this isn’t happeing to ME. Stay safe & sane over there!

21 Meim { 02.11.10 at 1:27 pm }

How’s the mail system holding up? Can I send you anything? I’m not sure sushi would hold up, but I’m willing to try 😉 (serioulsy, though. Let me know if I can help.)

22 Terry Elisabeth { 02.11.10 at 1:56 pm }

Milly Monka ahah !!

23 Kim { 02.11.10 at 2:23 pm }

Sounds like your snow days are a lot “funner” than ours!
That darn groundhog!

24 Vee { 02.11.10 at 3:15 pm }

Wow that is crazy! Not you the snow. I am sure I would have gone a bit bonkers also. I hope you get some relief soon.

25 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 02.11.10 at 4:15 pm }

I felt punchy and mean after our recent single weekend trapped indoors. I am reeling at the thought of being trapped for a week or more. I am so very sorry, though I think your two-chord rendition of What The Twins Are Doing Now sounds like an appropriately insane way to pass the crazy hours and hours and hours of being stuck in the house.

26 jill { 02.11.10 at 4:16 pm }

But it sounds like a very good kind of crazy! I wish you luck with the baking and candy-making and making it through being snowed in.

27 IF Crossroads { 02.11.10 at 5:56 pm }

I’m so living this exact version of hell albeit with 2 dachshunds to entertain instead of children. I cannot, for the life of me, believe that we’re getting more snow on Monday! When will it end??????

28 Ellen { 02.11.10 at 6:23 pm }

AllworkandnoplaymakesEllenadullgirl.
We left the house today! We all drove to Tysons. It was heaven! Sad but true. It probably wasn’t totally safe, but that’s how much I needed to look at other walls. Tomorrow, H will go to work, but he’ll take the one dug-out vehicle with him. Here we go again! Some day, we’ll look back at this and laugh (or cackle madly).

29 Lavender Luz { 02.11.10 at 6:24 pm }

Milly Monka!

We just started the book, James & the Giant Peach, speaking of Roald.

Let’s Skype — maybe tonight. That’ll give me time to comb my hair and you time to comb your eyebrows.

30 Sarah { 02.11.10 at 7:26 pm }

I am praying so hard that Monday’s storm is just a joke. I really can’t take shoveling any more. My arms are jelly! Although I do feel less guilty for not practicing yoga this week…this is a way harder workout :).

31 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 02.11.10 at 9:22 pm }

I’ve never enrobed my entire arms in chocolate, but when I’ve done extensive tempering and dipping, it’s rather fun having both hands and wrists covered in chocolate.

Fun, then at the end: delicious.

32 B { 02.12.10 at 12:09 am }

Coming from a place where it never ever snows, not even on our most miserable days, I can’t imagine that amount of snow. Especially as I’m dripping sweat lying in front of the fan right now.

It must be dangerous? Is it dangerous? And how do you get rid of snow like that…… will your backyard be white/grey/mushy till spring and then you get floods? Can you post it to vancouver?

In case you need a depressing soundtrack – here’s Nick Cave with 15 ft of pure white snow. Dedicated to you and your backyard.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jY8Amv3_z34

And for Josh – Dig Lazarus Dig, Only we’ll make it Dig Joshua, Dig.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kV5XkBQsKU&feature=fvw

Actually don’t look at those if you are really going insane becaus e they will not help. THey will prob make things worse.

How bout this – Kokomo. Beach Boys. A little sunnier? No?

I’ve only been stuck inside during a cyclone – and that’s only a couple of hours. Actually it was quite fun as our house had a cyclone shelter and we all had to pile onto a double mattress (mum dad, 3 kids and two house guests) and wait it out. Oh and last years dust storm (apparantly you stole all our precipitation with the El Nino thing) – although you could go out but you kinda choked a bit.

Storm coming through. Lots of rumbling outside. But I suspect it will be like the others we’ve been having – all mouth and no trousers.

Shame.
love B

33 B { 02.12.10 at 12:31 am }

Hey here’s a game to pass the time.

Best dance off in a movie.

And I’ve a corker to start you off – the fabulous last dance scene from Strictly Ballroom.

34 Battynurse { 02.12.10 at 12:51 am }

I think I’d be stir crazy too. Wow. All that snow sounds tiring. I hope it stops soon although it probably won’t all go away until march or so.

35 Manapan { 02.12.10 at 3:03 am }

Being snowed in is always awful. I can’t imagine how much worse it must be in a place like yours that doesn’t really plan for several large blizzards each year. Hoping you have continuous power and plow service and that you all stay safe and sane.

36 S.I.F. { 02.12.10 at 3:56 am }

I can’t figure Stumbledupon out! I was looking at my stats, and saw that someone had found me through stumbledupon, so I went there, and I couldn’t find me!?!? I couldn’t figure the site out at all, and got frustrated and left!

In fairness, I do this with just about everything new on the internet. I had to go back to elance 5 times before I finally started bidding on jobs! I get overwhelmed when I can’t figure something out, and I just have to walk away!

37 Another Dreamer { 02.12.10 at 4:56 am }

I would definitely have cabin fever. Snow sucks 🙁 Hope you break free of it soon!

38 Bea { 02.12.10 at 5:30 am }

It does sound like you are going slightly mad… but not dangerously so, at this point. Hurrah for that! Would you believe, getting snowed in actually sounds a little romantic to me? I would love to narrate for hours in song and answer only to Milly Monker. I have a feeling I couldn’t get away with it as is.

Bea

39 coffeegrl { 02.13.10 at 2:44 am }

Ooooh. baking sounds fun! I haven’t been “snowed in” for a long time and as I recall day 3 is something of a turning point…..Hang in there!

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