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Cheers to Oral Surgery

I learned some good lessons the hard way from my oral surgery last week. Luckily, I get to do this at least two more times this year, therefore, I’ll get lots of practice.

1. Clear my schedule: I had the surgery on Tuesday and I didn’t really feel up to doing anything until Saturday.  Set aside at least three days for each surgery.  Set aside at least five days to not run.

2. Ask for help: Josh originally hadn’t scheduled in to take time off, but did so when he saw that I was a fucking wreck.  My mum took the twins one day too.  I need to schedule the surgery next time on a Thursday, ask Josh to take off Friday, and spend the weekend healing.

3. Don’t feel guilty that I asked for help: I felt so badly that Josh was taking off on Wednesday that I went downstairs with the twins for a bit to give him some time to work from home.  I probably could have healed faster if I had just allowed myself the space to heal.  Next time, y’all are on your own.

4. Take the Vicodin: there are no points for getting through oral surgery with wimpy painkillers.  No one jumps out of the shadows and gives you a prize for having a high pain threshold.  And I believe that in all facets of life–there is no point to being a martyr.  Next time, I’m going to have a steady stream of Vicodin and drool and not feel guilty or wimpy doing so.

Those are the lessons I learned this week.  What has been up with you since we last chatted at the Lushary?

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.


1 Tally { 01.19.10 at 12:13 pm }

I am looking for anything that will soothe my nerves. I am just about to leave the office to have my “viability scan”. I’m finding it so hard to be hopeful right at this moment, because I’ve gone down this road so many times before it seems… but I’m still holding on to that slim possibility.

Bottoms up!

2 Christa { 01.19.10 at 12:39 pm }

Oh, how I have been looking forward to the Lushary for so long! I’ll have the usual, chocolate martini, double shots. It will help me sleep on my flight out to NC. I’ve been stimming for four days on my first IVF cycle and I don’t feel a damn thing. I thought I was supposed to bloat up and feel my eggies growing but I feel nada. Oh well, I suppose that’s how it goes for the first few days. Cheers!

3 Heather { 01.19.10 at 12:40 pm }

I’d love a drink! Something fruity and girlie…

We are back cycling. My meds got all messed up. I go back Thursday to see if we have any follicles of size. I had super small ones on Sunday when I went.

4 Nichole { 01.19.10 at 12:41 pm }

I am trying to keep a level head and not get ahead of myself as we start the adoption process. I am trying to remain grounded, yet optimistic and expect the best, but prepare for the worst.

Our first home study visit is Friday…can’t be over soon enough!

5 flmgodog { 01.19.10 at 12:44 pm }

I need something strong. I am a wreck. I have been down this road so many times…Beta numbers are good scan last week measuring behind. High risk doc kept asking if I was SURE of my dates. PLEASE LET THIS WORK!! I am absolutely sick about it but still trying to have a positive attitude.

6 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 01.19.10 at 12:48 pm }


And give yourself time to heal. I made the mistake of returning to work too quickly after gall bladder surgery, which earned me an additional week of at-home healing time. The body will do it’s thing in it’s own time– best to let it do what it needs to before jumping back in.

And Oh, how sad I am for you that you get at least TWO more. I started to have an echo of a toothache last night, and I’m freaked that it will mean another (expensive and painful) root canal… I can’t imagine knowing that I would definitely have at least two more. You are brave, my friend.

It’s been a while since I pulled up a seat at the bar, but the only real thing going on in my world is my continued gratitude for a (so far) uneventful pregnancy. I get to discover sex(es) soon, and for that, I am thrilled. I just don’t know how I got to this point. I mean, I know (believe me, I KNOW)– the shots, and the crotch oglings, and the fears and the what-ifs. I just don’t know how I am still one whole person after dealing with so many years of not knowing and wondering and please-oh-please-ing. It’s like I don’t even recognize the “me” from 5 years ago, and that is the weirdest thing. That infertility changed me, I knew. I recognize it’s effect in my life. But now, it’s like I’m this temporary other person, forever in a holding pattern, until these babies are delivered safely to my arms. And until that point, I am in this bizarre in-between place where (yay!) I’m pregnant but (sad.) I may not actually become a parent in spite of it. Weird place to be.

And truthfully, on an infertility blog, how can you remain sensitive and yet still be honest about the fact that 1) you *love* being pregnant but that 2) you are constantly scared shitless that you still won’t ever become a parent, especially when you know so many of your readers are still on the battlefield themselves OR have already had real, horrific things happen to them and thus don’t need to be reminded of your could-be fears? They don’t need to read the “wah! I have no reason whatsoever to believe otherwise, but what if something goes wrong???” posts, any more than I need to write them. Sigh.

Otherwise, I’ve been contemplating my life as a navel-gazing blogger. I got a little semi-rude mention on the blog of someone I thought I was friendly with, and it’s got me thinking about how much of myself I really want to reveal and how close I really want to get to other bloggers. I consider my online friends to be my “real” friends, in some cases even more so than “in real life” people, so to have one act sort of callously toward me makes me reconsider– how well do I actually “know” my online friends? How “real” are they? And am I a real person to them? It kinda sucks, because I’m wondering if I need to filter myself a little more, or if alternately I need to go overboard with the warts and all to find out who among my readers likes the real me? \

So yeah. All the light stuff like that is what’s been going on…

7 Mrs. Gamgee { 01.19.10 at 1:01 pm }

I’d love something fruity and slushy…

The biggest thing going on lately is, after two years of tracking and having fairly consistent O days, for the last three cycles my O has jumped to CD 17. I know it’s not a big thing, but I’ve been getting stressed out about it. Now I’m in the tww, and just feel like I’m killing time.

8 susy { 01.19.10 at 1:08 pm }

I’ll take a good ol’ margarita on the rocks! *clink, clink* Haven’t been to the Lushary in a long time, so I won’t catch up since then, but I want to celebrate the HunHun getting a job after months of being laid off! And that I’m back to blogging, it feels good to be back!

9 Sonja { 01.19.10 at 1:10 pm }

Round of drinks on me, things have been great since I was here last!

Last lushery, my bf of almost 3 years had just broken up with me. I was right, I got thru it with very little problem (after having a hyst at 24…not much compares to that). The support I got from you guys was AWESOME. I had a few rough times but I pulled up the comments I had gotten and that helped A LOT.

And just a couple weeks later, I found myself a new boyfriend! He’s pretty awesome, and I already had one IF breakdown on him and he didn’t run away, and we had the whole “do you want kids” talk and his reply to me was the sweetest thing ever: don’t worry, we can always steal someone’s kids. Ahhh, the sweet nothings of an early relationship 🙂

So yeah, I was worried about how my hyst would play into the whole dating world, but so far so good!

10 Pie { 01.19.10 at 1:12 pm }

Yeah, I always wait for that martyr prize-giver too. I imagine it like the Publishers’ Clearinghouse – balloons, Ed McMahon, confetti.

I’ll just have sparkling water with a lime, maybe in a fancy glass to fancy it up some. I’m cycling (please, let it be for the last time) and it is going, but going slowly. ER maybe this weekend? I’m ready to move on.

11 Blanche { 01.19.10 at 2:05 pm }

Can I just ditto Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) @12:48pm on the gratitude and fears…only she put it much better than I could.

And I’ll go crazy and have a regular coke – caffeine and all. Strangely even in a virtual bar that’s what’s appealing to me now.

12 Nicole { 01.19.10 at 2:16 pm }

Something strong for me please. Last time I was celebrating my first ever positive beta in 2+ years of ttc, and this month I just finished my misscarriage and got the official confirmation that I am no longer pregnant today. Beta came back at a zero. I’m suprisingly doing WAY better than I ever imagined I would in this situation. We have a follow-up with the RE next week. Other than that, nothing new for me.

13 Kim { 01.19.10 at 2:29 pm }

We’re starting our first IVF cycle, and I abhor that I have to take bcp. But, seeing as I’m at the Lushary, maybe it *is* a good idea I’m on it…wouldn’t want me to get pregnant from a little drinking and lovin’ from TH right before IVF now would we?!

I’d like an Aperol Sour fresh from Germany. Anything but cheap wine, dear God.

14 Hyla { 01.19.10 at 2:35 pm }

Great lessons!

You have an award on my blog!

15 Danielle { 01.19.10 at 2:39 pm }

Been drudging through the adoption process….the New Year started off with a bang but we are still in the same place we were a month ago, babyless. Hoping this baby finds us somehow, someway, and SOON!

16 Minta { 01.19.10 at 2:45 pm }

I would like an ice cold Pepsi (full of caffeine and bubbles and sugar!), please. Well, might as well pour a shot of Jack to with it, but let me savor the crispity goodness, first.

Since the last lushary I have gotten pregnant! Which is great. Of course, having been here before, I’m feeling quite guarded. The betas all came perfectly (has never happened before), and the first u/s is Friday. I’m just feeling hopeful, but also like I don’t deserve to feel hopeful. Perhaps it’s a form of survivor’s guilt.

In “not in my head” news… technically everything looks good with the pregnancy. I have found a new sense of peace related to work. G got a new job, for hooray! So things are pretty much yay!

17 Guera! { 01.19.10 at 2:52 pm }

Ok, I have to whine. All those Haitians still stuck in rubble after seven days cry me a river. Know what I have? CRAMPS. So there! After almost a year of relatively painless and predictable periods (a first ever on both counts, thank you Dr. Neeoo) the stage 4 endometriosis provoked cramps are back with a vengeance. In less than 12 hours I had taken twelve advil. In less than 24 hours I had taken 16. That’s double the recommended dosage. And even though I almost poisoned myself I got very little, short-term relief hence the continuous popping of blue-green gel capsules.I finally took a vicodin which surprisingly doesn’t work that well on cramps. The good news is that this all took place over the weekend and I didn’t have to be anywhere and today I only feel twinges of cramping. I would have taken an epidural to get rid of the pain and I have always sworn that I would give birth naturally only because of my fears of an epidural. I would have begged for one this weekend.
So, give me a shot of Corrallejos tequila please!

18 loribeth { 01.19.10 at 2:56 pm }

Ahhhh, I saw a new post from you in my reader, & I was hoping today was a Lushary Day!! My boss is returning to work tomorrow after 10 days away, & I’ve been busy tying up loose ends on all the stuff I was supposed to have accomplished while she was gone. ; ) Last week, I turned another year closer to 50 (& blogged incessantly about it). And I’m expecting a visit from AF any moment now — the cramps, bloating & fatigue are already here. I have no illusions about getting pregnant again at my age, so it all seems rather beside the point these days. I find myself wishing that menopause would just hurry up & get here so I can get it all over with. :p

A big tumbler full of Baileys on ice would hit the spot right about now. : )

19 Elizabeth { 01.19.10 at 2:58 pm }

Feeling a little bit like a fraud lurking here in the Lushary (given that I’m 14w2d with #2 right now), but how I do love this place! Great place to meet new people!!! 🙂

What’s keeping me up at night is wondering if I have a chance at a VBAC. Feeling many complicated emotions about that particular issue.

I’ll order up a virtual lemongrass-basil martini since that is what I would love to have 3 of right now!

20 a { 01.19.10 at 2:58 pm }

I’m glad you’ve learned that surgery requires recovery time. There is no prize for hurting yourself further, so please take it easy.

Let’s see since last time we were here, when I was very cranky, it’s been like riding on a yo-yo. My husband was overseas, but he’s back now, although with bonus PTSD (possibly). But, he’s not being mortared, so life is good. My FIL was on the Is-it-cancer? Is-it-not-cancer? pendulum, which has, unfortunately swung to It-is-cancer. So, he’ll be getting radiation for something inoperable. We don’t know what the prognosis is, or what the future holds there. But, my husband is back, so he can be available to his father.

In consideration of that, I will just have my favorite – a vodka tonic with a lot of lime.

Hope your next oral surgeries are less painful, and your recovery goes much more smoothly. And, if you have leftover vicodin, maybe you could just leave them in a candy dish on the bar…

21 loribeth { 01.19.10 at 3:02 pm }

Oh, and re: oral surgery — I had all four of my (impacted) wisdom teeth out at once, on a Monday when I was in my early 30s. I fully expected to be back to work by Wednesday/Thursday at the latest. However, the codeine in the painkillers the dentist gave me made me sick to my stomach, to the point I almost wound up in the hospital from dehydration. I wound up taking the entire week off, & dh had to take a couple of days off to take care of me too, because I was weak as a kitten for awhile there, could barely climb the stairs.So take it easy, & if the vicodin works for you, go for it!

22 Michelle { 01.19.10 at 4:16 pm }

I’ll have some White extra fruity Sangria. This is my first visit to this bar..I love it!
Nerves are high in my household this week. Going to see Re#3 tomorrow and we just found out that my BIL with be our sperm donor. I’ve had every emotion in the last few days!

23 Lynn { 01.19.10 at 4:40 pm }

Ooooh, I need something fruity…..um….a pina coloda please!

What’s been going on the last month? Let’s see – a bout of bronchitis that I’m still recovering (very slowly) from and a raise at work! One good thing, one bad. It all balances out.

Will have to read up and see what everybody else has been up to!

24 Hope Springs { 01.19.10 at 4:50 pm }

Ooooh, something unhealthy and full of alcohol, please, before we jump on the wagon and start eating and drinking super-healthily.

We’ve filled in all the forms tonight to send off hair samples to be analysed by an organisation which should hopefully work out from that what our nutritional needs are and help us to get ourselves in tip top healthy condition for making a baby before we make an appointment with our new clinic and try to get started on IVF #3.

DH has a big bald patch where my scissors slipped a bit as I was collecting his hair sample, and I have an itchy clump of hair down the back of my sweater from where I accidentally cut the wrong bit and then dropped it down my neck as I tried to top up my rather sparse-looking sample.

All I can say is, this had better do us some good…

25 Lynn @ human, being { 01.19.10 at 5:29 pm }

I’m sitting here with my foot propped up on my desk and a bag of ice slurry draped over it. Tomorrow, I have a dance performance that I have been working on for 6 months, and on Sunday, one of my group members stepped on my foot. I think I have a broken bone. I can kind of walk on it, kind of not. I want to go to the doctor, but need to be able to get into my salsa dance shoes tomorrow night. So, I’m popping Vicodin too! Yay. I’ll go to the doctor on Thursday and get it Xray’d.

Can I mix Vicodin with a shot of Jack with a Coke chaser?

26 Cherish { 01.19.10 at 5:42 pm }

I want something sinfully sweet, since I am currently avoiding sugar. I’m excited and scared about my first RE consultation tomorrow. FINALLY talked DH into it and I can’t wait to find out what is wrong with us. Despite what DH says, being on cycle 26 with no sign of a BFP is not normal.

27 Bionic Baby Mama { 01.19.10 at 6:49 pm }

i will have a nice gin fizz, with fresh lemon juice, please. the bubbles to celebrate making my first etsy sale and not losing my health insurance; the gin to take the edge off having stressed myself out of ovulating and the knowledge that just because my financial situation didn’t just get worse doesn’t mean i’m not in for some months of poverty (unless i can find more freelance work, pretty please?)

i love that this bar is so much cheaper than the gin fizz place in my neighborhood.

28 JC { 01.19.10 at 7:00 pm }

I’m glad you have a few things in mind to make the next surgery a little easier on you. Definitely take the drugs…BUT as I learned in my extraction, EAT a BIG meal while taking them, OR you will wake up feeling VERY PUKEY!!! =)

I’ll have a margarita!!! I just got my TSH results back yesterday and they were awesome!!! It was 5.33 and I started taking synthroid 6 weeks ago and took a break in TTC and now it is 0.765!!! We can start an IUI cycle in about 2 weeks when AF comes! YAY!!

29 Baby On Mind { 01.19.10 at 8:08 pm }

I’ll have a strawberry margarita. I am currently waiting for AF so I can start my BCPs for IVF in Feb/March. I’m excited to finally start the cycle but i think I am also starting to have some pre-IVF jitters. Did I do enough to get pregnant naturally? What if I had POAS’d? Could I have missed any chemical pregnancies? Why did I wait this long to do IVF? Am I going to be broke after this (the answer is yes!)? What if it doesn’t work? What if it DOES work? What if I have a miscarriage? And on, and on…..

Does the insanity ever end? Make that drink a double!

30 chickenpig { 01.19.10 at 8:37 pm }

I’ll have something strong…how about a plain old fashioned Vodka martini…shaken w lots of olives. My husband and I found a house we loved and put in an offer, but they went with another offer instead. The house was everything that I had wanted, and more, and for less money and I haven’t been able to pick my heart up off the floor and keep looking. I am so tired of being squashed into this too small house. I’m so sad that my “baby” is now 18 months old, and still stuck into the corner of our crowded bedroom instead of in a nursery…and she is my last baby, and that makes me sad too 🙁

And to Kate (bee in the bonnet) everything you said is so true. My twin pregnancy went full term, to 38 weeks, and it was totally uneventful. It took us over 5 years to get pregnant with them, and just about every day I was pregnant had its terrifying moments of pain and doubt. I was very certain I wasn’t going to take home my babies. You’re not alone. I will listen to your fears, complaints, and insecurities anytime. Just the memories of that time makes me want another martini. I’ll have one for ya 😉

31 Ally { 01.19.10 at 9:00 pm }

Feeling yucky and stuck in a rut and pathetic. I’ll have something fun to drink-maybe a margarita. Not cycling, may never cycle again, probably not going to have a baby one way or another and I’m at loose ends and I hate it. I’m sad, angry, jealous, you name it-that’s me. YUCK. I despise this space when I’m here. And I don’t see a way out right now and that makes the claustrophobia even worse.

32 Delenn { 01.19.10 at 9:39 pm }

Was in a crappy mood yesterday. Husband and I had an argument that colored the whole day, which sucked because I had the day off with the kids. In the evening we discussed things, he admitted that it was his fault (which it was). And then we had a discussion about how things are kinda messed up right now…how I feel unappreciated at home, and how I feel we are a bit distant from each other…you know, the type of discussion where you are pointing out that the other person really needs to change some habits (him being the one that needs to change). Only to find out that he said that I am the one who helps him get through his day. That without me, he is adrift. That I am the “glue” of the family. So now I feel worse because I feel more pressure on me. And now I feel like I have to hold his hand and to help with the things I find wrong….

And I can’t tell anyone anywhere but here.

So, something stiff and strong please…cuz I gotta be the strong one.

33 BelowAverageAthlete { 01.20.10 at 12:25 am }

This is my first time here. Thanks for having me! I will have a margarita on the rocks with salt.

We have two frozen embies from our Oct/November cycle and we are in the middle of doing a FET hopefully the begining of February. Last night, I took my last BCP and I go in for my baseline b/w and ultrasound on Thursday. I am excited and hopeful, but feel more realistic this time. I am hoping to not face the same disappointment. I don’t mind working this hard and doing all of this, if it would work. Otherwise if feels like putting my body through all of this for nothing. I am working really hard to just believe it will work.

34 Battynurse { 01.20.10 at 12:39 am }

Ok so while I have a Pomatini (I had one at a Christmas party that was fabulous) I will tell you the spiel I give to all my presurgery patients. The part about how our goal is to keep them as comfortable as possible and by managing their pain we are aiding in the healing process. Also when you have pain and you medicate it when it’s a lower number (on a 0-10 scale) it’s much more effective than if you wait until you are at a 10 as it then takes more time and medication to get you back to a good place. I even will frequently tell patients that for the first day or two after surgery to take the pain medications around the clock, even going so far as to set your alarm at night to get up and take pain medication rather than wake up 8 hours later in agony.
I hope the next couple of surgeries go much better. Hugs to you.

35 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 01.20.10 at 3:35 am }

I am preparing to bring the babies to meet their great-grandmother. We’d planned to go in the spring, but now there’s concern that she might not be around then and we’ve hurriedly planned a trip. I am pondering mortality as well as lamenting for the grandparents who never got to meet the babies because it took us so damn long to conceive them.

Otherwise, things are great.

36 Rayne of Terror { 01.20.10 at 3:59 am }

I’ll have something light, a reisling perhaps. I’m up rocking a feverish baby while my dad recovers from a quadruple bypass 2.5 hour drive away. I didn’t go sit in the hospital with my family today because taking a 5 year old boy to sit in a hospital waiting room all day would be dreadful for everyone. Instead I took our dog back to the shelter she came from breaking my son and husband’s hearts. There was a very good reason I made that decision, but hearing them crying at bedtime and talking about how much they both loved Ruby made me feel like a heartless monster.

37 Rayne of Terror { 01.20.10 at 4:04 am }

I notice your copywrite tag at the base of the page says 2006 when it should be updated to 2010.

38 Mina { 01.20.10 at 5:04 am }

Oh, goody, Lushary’s here again. Could I please have a 16ys-old Lagavulin, double shot, ginormous glass so that I can burry my entire face in it? Of all the things I could crave, the rocky-smocky Lagavulin is what I fancy. I have such a virtually good AA material…

I need to relax. So, please, dear Mel, pour me something to make me ‘just relax’ (or at least make me NOT hear anyone telling me that).

On Monday I am scheduled for the NT scan. I will be 11w5 days, but who’s counting anyway… I have no u/s this week *gasp* and am really trying to be cool about it. In fact, I am scared sh*less, first I am afraid of finding there is no heartbeat, then I am afraid of finding something is wrong with the baby. I know that logically I have no reason for this, but I just turned into that very annoying pregnant wimp everyone avoids. So please, just give me something to shut me up. 😉

39 Mina { 01.20.10 at 5:59 am }

Oh, and yeah, whinging on about myself, I forgot to give my two cents about pain killers and anesthesia. People, ‘just say no’ is not applicable in cases such as surgery and so on. In such cases, say YES, PLEASE.

I always had very good experiences with drugs before surgeries of any kind, and I had a few. So good actually that one doctor refused to tell me what he gave me, because I apparently enjoyed it a bit too much – I was having THE most spectacular diving/flying dream ever, in pastel colours, with sparkling trails and ponies, told the doctor who operated on me a made-‘specially-for-you-on-the-spot poem before falling asleep, and predicted the German would become the next pope one day BEFORE it actually happened.

Drugs given by doctors are good. Just say yes. I’d rather feel numb than pain. And the lucky ones of us get to wander in sparkly pastels, so go on, try it. Everyone could use improved poem-making skills.

40 Jamie { 01.20.10 at 1:57 pm }

This is too funny – my oral surgery was Tuesday as well. I thought I would be good to go by Thursday and it was Saturday before I felt like leaving the house.

I wanted to be strung out on Lortab – drool and all – but it turns out Lortab only sedates my body and makes my mind race. I was like a ragdoll trying to find a way for world peace, fix the economy and try to figure out why EJ would kidnap his own baby on Days of Our Lives all in one.

41 The Steadfast Warrior { 01.20.10 at 3:19 pm }

Well lets see, I still have raging post-partum depression and after going back to my GP to do something about it, he referred me to the PPD Clinic at my hospital. The catch? I can’t get in till March 9th!

A virtual glass of wine would be great about now because if I have a real one, the urge to drown the whole bottle may be too great.

Cheers to the messed up medical system (and I thought having public health care meant actually getting CARE- silly me). Oh and any advice on how to cure the raging sarcasm that has sprouted would be greatly appreciated!

42 LJ { 01.20.10 at 8:49 pm }

just pour me something strong that will make me numb all day tomorrow yet let me still parent and not have a hangover.

43 Bea { 01.22.10 at 5:18 pm }

Excellent lessons. It took way longer to heal from the wisdom teeth than I expected, and I really and suddenly turned the corner the day Mr Bea stayed home and I was allowed to sleep. Kind of felt as if I should have done that earlier.


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