Pre-Holiday Check-In
As we lead up to Christmas, this Jew thought it might be a good idea to throw open the doors of the Lushary and reconnect before we go off to our respective celebrations (if you’re…er…celebrating and not doing volunteer work and then going to the movies like me).
So take a moment before you start getting even farther into Christmas preparations, Christmas avoidance, or non-celebration of the holiday to catch everyone up on what is happening since the last Virtual Lushary OR where you are mentally as you head into the holiday.
As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.
I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.
So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.
For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.
So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.
55 comments
Anything virtual, even alcoholic, can’t possibly harm any potential pregnancy, right? Still, better make mine mulled cider, I simply don’t want to take chances…
In the middle of a 2ww. Up here in Canada that apparently means 16 days, but factoring in the Christmas holiday I have to wait until the 28th of December to get my blood test.
Thursday December 17th is the due date for the babe we lost in May. So a whole rack of emotions over here that will undoubtedly come pouring out at the most inappropriate time.
Still, I hope that 2010 bring us all what we want! Cheers to the fine bloggers I have “met” through this site, and thanks ever so much for your support and kind words. And a special thanks to Mel, for keeping it organized. You should’ve been a librarian, Lollipop! 🙂
Actually I’m enjoying a nice, cold Dr Pepper and pizza on my lunch break! About to pull my hair out from work crap, but doing good otherwise. I’ve been surprisingly calm this whole holiday season, with a time or two of near-breakdowns just for good measure. Hope everyone else is doing good!
I’m still at work, so no alcohol now, but plenty of cookies! I am keeping myself busy to not think about the IUI we are not doing this month. Both anticipating my mom’s visit and also hoping she doesn’t find a minute alone with me to talk about why we have not provided her with grandkids yet.
I’m not currently blogging…but hope to resume soon if we start cycling again.
I just wanted to Pop in and say Hello!! Hope everyone has a great December and whatever holiday they celebrate (if any). Happy New Year too!! May all of your dreams come true…
Make mine a virgin daquiri, I actually have a celebration! I got my very first ever positive beta last week after 2 years of treatments and big FAT negatives! I’m nervous and excited and scared and amazingly overjoyed all at the same time.
All the connections I have made through this and other blogs have been an absolute GOD-SEND! I could not have made it through was has been, and probably won’t make it through whatever is to come without the support, laughter, tears, and hope I get from reading your blog and others every day. Thank you Mel for all you do!
I think I’ll just have a glass of white wine this month please!
Also in the middle of a 2WW (going to try to come by and visit you soon Tally! Might as well wait together!) and wishing I didn’t always get my hopes up. I’m going to be trying to hold out to test until Christmas Day. That would be 18 DPO, so if I could hold out til then, I could be more optimistic for a BFP.
Other than that, nothing really going on in my neck of the woods. I hope everyone that is celebrating has a wonderful Christmas and, for those who will be doing other things that day, I hope you have a wonderful day!
Since it will be an awfully long time before I will have a REAL drink, please more me something tasty, and gigantic, and, of course, virtual!
Ahh… the holidays. Trying to figure out how to appropriately celebrate our last round as a family of 2, as well as do right by the reality that this will probably be Grumpy’s mom’s last round.
Oh well, at least Christmas Day should be fairly light-hearted and fun… silliness, teenagers, Wii family tournaments. THAT is what I shall look forward to this year! And, of course, sleeping in on 12/26!
please MORE me? what the heck? my brain is NOT functioning at capactity.
How about please POUR me?
jeeze!
I’ll take a TALL long island ice tea, please… _/ <– yum! Ohhh and maybe a mudslide. Those are yummy too!
For me, the holidays are NUTS filled with chaos and topped with crazy. As an addition this year, we are embarking on IVF for the first time. I'm filled with anxiety, fear, hope, happiness, worry and dread. One moment I'm scared out of my mind and then the next minute I'm Suzie Friggen Sunshine. I'm all over the place. I would welcome any support, guidence, assvice or just good humor! I sure do need to laugh more, cry less!
I’ll take whatever you are supposed to give people in shock – probably a large mug of strong, and very hot tea with lots of sugar and lemon and a hefty splash of whiskey.
Why am I in shock? A positive HPT this morning after IVF#3 was canceled for low egg production. I was so sure this cycle with natural attempt (after trigger) wouldn’t work I’ve eaten sushi, deli meats and drank alcohol and caffeine without any concerns.
I’m hoping for good numbers but in the meantime I’m very grateful for what seems to be a Christmas miracle.
Tequila sunrises please, and keep em coming 🙂
Well, last night the bf of almost 3 yrs and I broke up. It started this summer because he wasn’t sure if he could stay with me because of my hyst, and then it just revealed more and more cracks in our relationship while I thought we were trying to work things out. It finally ended last night.
I’m sad and all, but I’m also relieved. No more wondering, no more walking on egg shells. I’m done with him causing anxiety attacks.
So I’m celebrating. Celebrating that I still am me, have a wonderful kitty girl, and amazing friends and family. Looking forward to a great Holiday season!
Hello and happy holidays to all 🙂 I’ll have a Peppermint tea please 🙂 Just waiting for me right now … and trying to save my sanity in the process!
Funny, I was just commenting elsewhere about my dad’s holiday highball that he would make for Thanksgiving and Christmas, and how I might pick up that tradition this year. For a variety of reasons (prevalently, but not limited to not having presents purchased yet, resigning myself to having an only child, having a husband in Afghanistan, having a FIL with a new tumor after coming through esophageal cancer last spring, pressure from my family to travel for the holidays, and not having much work done yet this month), the holiday highball sounds like a good idea. It’s been kind of a crappy month so far.
Today I am celebrating! In the midst of a sick grandmother and a fiasco at Zilla’s school, I checked my final grades. I got a 4.0 in my very FIRST term of college! I feel like doing cartwheels and crying with relief at the same time. I can also tackle anything that falls in my path. Kind of like a Super hero! Watch out Universe, I got my eye on you!
*HUGS*
Oh Billy could I use I cocktail, alas I am in the midst of my tww. So I’ll have a club soda with a lime please and thank you.
I’m on my 6th dIUI, so far no luck. If this cycle doesn’t work we’re going to have to take a self imposed break for financial reasons. (BOO!) If that break does indeed occur we’re also planning to shop for a new RE. So far I have one consultation scheduled for next month.
As far as Christmas goes, neither my husband nor I are feeling very festive. Which is pretty unusual. We’re not necesarily down in the dumps, we just don’t feel much like celebrating this year.
*Deep Breath*
Well, now I’d like to take a moment to thank my lovely hostess/bartender and toast to all of you, who’ve made getting through all this much more manageable. Your caring, thoughtful, and supportive comments help me get through each day and I’m incredibly grateful. Cheers!
Mel, you are a godsend. I remember once having a wonderful holiday drink called a pointsettia, & while I don’t quite remember what was in it, I’m sure you can figure something out. ; ) And make it a big one!
The last two weeks have been insane, in both my work & personal lives — year end projects at work, Christmas shopping & parties, nephew’s birthday, wrapping up our support group volunteer work, etc. To top it off, a freelance project I was originally asked about in SEPTEMBER finally came through on Nov. 30th, & I have been working frantically to squeeze THAT in — & get everything wrapped up before I get on a plane Saturday morning to go visit my family for Christmas.
I haven’t touched my blog in about two weeks, & my blog reader “unread” count is at astronomical levels. I’m hoping to get all caught up while I’m on vacation.
Thank you for the Lushary (along with everything else you do for us). Merry Christmas to all!!
Lot of 2 week waiting and a lot of positives! Wishing the positives keep on a-coming!
Usually I ask for a Mudslide, high with the chocolate, but I overdosed on homemade fudge yesterday–so, a nice glass of Merlot, please!
Things are more hectic than normal for us. And it really is not the holidays. Its my husband working extremely long hours and a very inquisitive, exhausting toddler. Add into the mix my son getting new medication for his ADHD–which is making him a bit more “FOCUSED” (re anal and annoying). Oh, and my 40th birthday is coming up. And I know my husband is planning something annoying. Oh, and we celebrate Hannukah and X-Mas. I have too much on my plate.
Hi Mel,
Pour me something big and alcoholic. After a week’s worth of “different” pregnancy symptoms I got a BFN. I’ve been pretty shitty all day.
I’m a little flummoxed just now, so maybe something that can provide clarity? Something minty and fresh perhaps?
I’m on CD 15, and am apparently 3dpo. My O day has jumped hither and yon over the last few months.
Now I’m just trying to find some motivation to start my baking-wrapping-card writing marathon.
Oh thank goodness, barkeep – I’ll have a dirty vodka martini with 2 olives please. It’s my first day back at work after my lap and there is just no reason I should be here! I’m about ready to collapse I’m so tired. And I keep sneezing, which I probably don’t have to tell you really hurts.
Other than that nothing new is going on with me, just the usual – pondering what to do with my life and dreading the hectic holidays but looking forward to the 3 day weekends! Since the dr. found and lasered some endo, I’m starting to feel cautiously optimistic that 2010 just might turn out to be my year.
Cheers, and happy holidays!
Dear Mel, long time lurker poppin’ for a triple serving of vodka-rum-lime-coke, because I need a major hangover to distract me from my current freaking out session.
See, I lost one baby by the end of this May. Had D&C in early June. After five months, I have proven my doctor’s dx, namely that I am *fertile*, and I am currently 6 weeks pregnant. Only that I started bleeding, lightly, but still bleeding, on Sunday. And the cramping that started last week, fluctuates between strong and mild. And then, there was the CLOT, who threw me off balance and made me call the doc after all, forgetting all my promises to NOT be hysteric, but ‘mature’. Of course, I could only have called on her day off. She is to call me back tomorrow. Until then, I change my mind every two minutes. ‘I am doomed’. ‘I am silly, it will be alright’. ‘I am double silly, THIS is serious and cannot possible end well.’ ‘Woman, you give ‘ridiculous’ new meanings, really…’
And then there is the Fb friend who gave birth in August and said that she loved so much the pregnancy clothing that she still wears it in December. WTF, I thought she had SUMMER pg clothing?! Anyway, she has just posted that she will wear them at least until next August, because she loved them so much, that she got herself pregnant with her THIRD. Useless to tell you that she had no problem and she is the most obnoxious fertile ever (unlike me, who am the most thoughtful and kind fertile I know), full of assvice for anyone and I never liked her in the first place, we just worked together and I hate her for telling me, when I had the miscarriage: ‘Well, you just have to be more careful next time, but hurry up and get back pregnant, you are not that young anymore.’ For my ‘friend’, whom I have just unfriended, a heartily f*** you with a double whopper of up your a**. That would be ‘fondle you with a double whopper of up your attention.’
So, please – can you get me something that could get me unconscious for the next four weeks? I think that, virtually, the strong spirits combo could make the trick, if in industrial quantities. I need to get over the next four weeks with my sanity in one piece so that I can finally begin to start believing my doc that ‘statistics speak for me and I will be alright’.
I am the tall blond split-personality in the corner, who starts cursing in her native tongue every five minutes. No, it’s not Tourettes. Yet. And spare yourself the trouble, take the flowers off that bucket and pass it over. Full, please. Thanks, you’re a darling. You do have wonderful eyes, you know?
Hi Mel. I’m was the hugely pregnant woman who bought your book at BlogHer and got it signed. Well I’ll take a draft pint of Bass Pale Ale, please. Yesterday I took my second son Quinn, now 4 months old and also known as Enormous Baby, to his well baby appointment. He’s perfect and huge and meeting or exceeding the milestones for a 4 month old. Yet. We left with a referral to Easter Seals. I bit the bullet and called intake at our local office because I want him pronounced perfect ASAP. Because he is perfect and the nurse simply mismeasured his head. Right? It’s a mistake. It has to be. The mighty Quinn is smiling, babbling, grabbing, inspecting, sitting up and rolling over. He sleeps through the night. He nurses with gusto. He is perfect and that’s what Easter Seals will confirm. They will laugh about our referral. Right?
Ok, ok, after being admonished (nicely of course), I’m putting up my link. eeeek! I’ll go for a nice glass of Pinot, yum yum. I keep telling myself that this holiday season is different, after all, we’re in the waiting pool. Then again, it’s another year that we don’t have a baby (or 2 like we should by now!). Infertility sure does suck.
Darling, whatever you’re pouring make it quick…you see, kismet has struck again, and I must run over to Rayne of Terror’s house. It seems as if I may be able to give her a hug.
Thursday, December 17 will be my 1200th sleepless night. Could you spike my drink with an ambien too?
Ta!
Mel, I’d kill for a margarita; in celebration of course, since I am enjoying my first ever BFP! I’ve never craved that salty, citrus taste so much now that I have to avoid it…
Thanks to all who have shown me support since my appearance in the blogging world – it’s amazing how much a little comment helps!
Pour me a virgin daiquiri Mel. I could use something a bit stronger to calm the nerves, but I don’t drink. We are going to be doing our first and only IVF in February and I couldn’t be more excited/nervous! Let’s get this show on the road! Cheers to all of you lovely ladies!
Hi Mel!
I’ll take something strong please! I have my frist apt. with my new RE on Thursday, and I’m insanely nervious. Also the job hunt is kicking my butt over here in MI.
As a diabetic I shouldn’t drink and mostly don’t but since you are keeping bar, gimme some decent champers.
I just wrote a hysterical blog entry for Show and Tell (I hope you are still gonna have show and tell this week) about becoming a People of Walmart posterchild, along with the boys.
It’s ready for peeps to view.
http://micrimas.blogspot.com/2009/12/people-of-walmart-half-of-duo-style-yes.html
I’ll just have a sparkling cider please-I’m currently 9 weeks pregnant after a successful donor egg cycle. Just got released from my RE and have my first OB appt this week. I think i’ve finally gotten over the shock and worry ( well really I don’t think i’ll ever get over the worry) and now im just frustrated that my family thinks my husband and I aren’t excited enough, we just say that we are cautiously excited 😉 , and the few people we’ve told keep asking when we will tell people. Its just a reality check to me that no one really gets it, any of it, they all think that now I’m pregnant I should forget everything it took me to get here. I know I should feel like a regular pregnant person now, but I don’t, and I probably won’t. I’m infertile, and always will be.
I’m looking forward to some relaxation over the holiday, and wish everyone else a happy holiday as well!
Tipping an eggnog with all my lushy friends.
Don’t got a story in me now. That’s the story.
Celebrating my Mother’s birthday today and trying to push her through some sadness. I’d like something fancy with sparkles. And fruit. And maybe an umbrella. And now I am going to cruise the comments to catch up with everyone.
buying a round for everyone having a shitty day/week/month. I’m sorry.
I’m still at work, but once the day is over, I’d like a dirty martini waiting for me, please.
We’re on a TTC break (after IUI #3 didn’t work) before we start looking at IVF. So I get to drink as much as I want this holiday season. Small consolation, though, of course. I’d rather be pregnant.
Tonight I have my 2nd acupuncture appointment. I still don’t like needles.
Whatever you pour me, just make sure it knocks me out so I can sleep. Three and a half days left of teaching pre-teens and teens and we’re due January 9. Well, our birth mother is due. We are waiting…and waiting…and waiting…
I’ll take a good glass of red wine or heck, even a rum and egg nog. As you know ( and thank you for your comment by the way) I’m in the throes of post-partum depression. I have the most beautiful little girl but I can’t quite enjoy her the way I relly want to. On top of that, my fibro has flared a little. None of it is at critical stages, so I have to tackle it head on if I’m going to keep it from getting worse.
Just really feeling sad and lonely in what should be the happiest time in my life after two miscarriages. And it’s Christmas to boot. Am I allowed to pout and say how unfair this all is?
I would LOVE a very large Margarita, rocks, no salt, please and thank you!!
The hubs and I are currently on a self-imposed financial break after our second failed IVF, but we have begun the process of becoming Foster Parents! So excited!!
I’m a bit nervous about the whole process, since I know it can be a little rocky… so if anyone has been through it, I’d love some advice….
OOh, I would love some eggnog. Love me my eggnog at the holidays! Better have it without the alcohol, though. I am due next month! I cannot believe our little one will be here so soon!
Hubby and I are having a quiet Christmas, as I cannot travel anywhere because I am close to my due date. I managed to arrange it so that I am off of work my last trimester, which is a such a gift! It is so nice being able to rest when I need it, and make doctor’s appointments without having to fight with work.
Right now, I have a cold, which I hope is going away. I think it should be gone by the weekend (Hopefully.) Then we can finally decorate for Christmas! We still have not gotten a tree up or hung our wreath. I think both Hubby and I have been consumed by baby stuff that we just have not done anything for Christmas.
I’ll take a drink, but I’m celebrating. After 10 years of battling infertility officially and 15 years of marriage in which we always tried to get knocked up, we’re officially done. Our daughter from ovulation induction/IUI is now 9 years old and our twin boys from many many IVF cycles off and on over the years is now 6 months old. Don’t track back to my blog unless you really want to see cute baby faces. But I’m happy as I count up three miscarriages, three surgeries to clean out endometriosis, more OI/IUI and IVF cycles than I can count (I stopped after awhile). I’ve tried Traditional Chinese Medicine/acupuncture, chiropractic, massage, holistic herbal remedies, imagery and really healthy eating. I’m so glad to be done all that. I’ve learned more than I ever thought I would about myself, including the strength I carry with me every day.
I wish all my IF sisters out there the peace of the holiday season and wishes for all your wishes and dreams to come true this year. Love and hugs – Heather
Oh my first time at the lushary! I don’t drink but I’ll have a virgin pina colata.
Just fighting the usual winter blues. I only figured out this year that I get sad like this every single winter. I do’nt understand it since I love the holidays (though I also don’t celebrate Christmas). I love the holiday cheer, the hot cocoa and fun socks and gloves and scarves, so I don’t fully understand why I get sad.
Luckily I’m going to visit family in Florida during the holiday time and hopefully the warm sun will pull me out of my funk!
Mines a whole bottle of wine please (or 2!) Recovering form my second lap this year. Previous to this was on 6 months of suppression. Desperately wanting my body to start cycling so I can start TTC and I am waiting to be put on the IVF waiting list.
ICE! I want ICE! My teeth hurt.
Bea
This is my first time at the bar. I need a drink and I can finally have one after finishing up my antibiotics. It’s been a shitty month. We lost our baby at 18 weeks. On 11-20-2009 I delivered my only child, a son, and said goodbye to him. 2 weeks later I had a D&E to remove some extra tissue. This has been the most painful time in our lives. I can’t sleep. My mind goes too much to sleep! I miss him. I want my child tucked back inside, safely growing and oblivious to this cruel world.
I need a drink FOR REAL! I’m planning on having my first glass of wine since JUNE this weekend. I think it will be well deserved. No?
God bless you all!
My heart is so heavy for those of you with recent (and not so recent) losses. Raising a glass and buying a round to all the stirrup queens in here.
Mel, whatever you gave me last night, worked BIG TIME. Please keep it coming!
I’ve just come back from the doc, and the u/s showed a wonderful beating little heart! From what I saw, half of the baby is beating, and it was magnificent.
The bleeding is a hematoma that can bleed its head out, I don’t care, I’ve got meself a beating heart!!
I complained about the lack of symptoms that keep me on my toes. “Mina, many, many women would very much like to have a symptoms-free pregnancy like you!” – This is where you are wrong, dear lady. I just know some women who think exactly like me and would rather have nausea and the works, than not. But every pregnancy is different, right? And we’ll take one no matter what it comes with (or without), as long as we get the baby in the end.
I concur with Elisabeth and just want to tell all ladies who have had and lost – I grieve for you and pray you find peace. You are never alone.
Pour me something big and tall. I don’t know what.
Please let this be my month. I am praying, praying, praying. One of my really good friends annouced two weeks ago at Mah jong at my house that she was thirteen weeks pregnant. It totally blind-sided me, especially after she annouced at her own house she doesn’t know why people keep asking her about second children and it’s no big deal and went on and on about it. We had just finished a conversation with all my girlfirends at Mahj about having children and infertility and some of our struggles (though a very surface discussion). I could not believe she annouced it at my house right after that conversation. This friend is a chidlren’s counselor. I CANNOT believe she did this at my house. I had no where to go cry hysterically and it wasn’t like a could ask everyone to leave. Two weeks later I am still reeling from this. To make matters worse I got my period three hours after everyone left even though I really thought I was pregnant.
I still haven’t figured out how to pick up the pieces. I considered not going to Mahj last night so I wouldn’t have to deal with the pregnant friend but I knew I couldn’t shut out my other friends.
Trying to figure out how to make our friendship still work when I am so bitter. Please, please let me be pregnant this month.
Just sticking my neck out here and introducing myself to the other stirrup queens. I have been devouring your blogs for months now. I thank you all for your helping me not feel like a freak and a failure.
We’ll be celebrating our first infertile christmas with lots of nieces, nephews, and other assorted rugrats. Its also the very conservative, christian side of the family. We’ll be celebrating sober yall!
We also haven’t seen the inlaws since the diagnosis. A beautiful ham with a side of empty high chair this year. Falalalalalalalala!
JWH
I’ll take the Blue Angel please. I need a few angels. My sister had a mammy a few weeks ago and they found a lump. She also has a cyst on her remaining ovary. The stupid techs told her to come back in 6 months – and in an unusual move for my sister, she said no and went to her doc. Given our family history, her doc took her seriously and they are doing another check on her on the 28th. If the cyst is growing, they’re going to remove the ovary – no messing around. And they’ll look at the lump again and go from there. Having lost mom to cancer a year ago…I’m worried. Very worried and scared.
I haven’t posted this on my blog because I don’t want it to be real. I probably should… I’m not usually the one who puts her head in the sand, but I also really can’t deal with the possibility that another family member might have cancer and I might have to go through all this again.
Well…I am in recovery so even if it’s virtual make it non alcoholic. I read many of your blogs although I comment infrequently. Thank you all for sharing so openly. Infertility has unexpected repercussions in my life. I had a baby last year as one of my dearest friends continued to suffer multiple losses. She has become increasingly distant…I think she’s done with our 18 year friendship? I can’t express what a loss this is. Uncertain how to proceed, but greatful that I can share my feelings.
I am sorry ladies for those of you that are sad or facing loss. I am excited for those that have a BFP or are awaiting their peanuts.
I will have a Corona Light in preperation for DH and I’s vacation to Cabo in March. Compliments of my Dad for all the IF crap we’ve been through this year. I might not have won a baby but I did get a free vacation to paradise.
We are on a financial and physical break till we meet with our Dr for our post IVF appointment in January. I am at peace and full of hope. My DH is finally seriously considering domestic adoption. It’s taken 9 months of failed fertility treatments for him to see maybe were meant to be parents a different way. However I am mentally and physically ready to try IVF #2 if that’s where DH is at. Cheers to us fabu ladies!!
I need something strong to make it through the holidays this year. Two more days of work and then I’m off until the new year. I’m seriously considering taking a flask with me when we visit in-laws.