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Please Help My Fragile Self-Esteem*

Updated at the bottom…

I failed to make Babble’s top-50 mommybloggers, failed to be one of Neil Kramer’s blog crushes of the day in 2009, and most importantly, failed to get more than M** to respond when I asked this week via Twitter if I was a JILF.  Or a JYLF if we’re going to be grammatically correct since I’m the one being needy and asking the question rather than just waiting to see if people state my name on a JILF list without prompting.

So am I one?  Am I a JILF?

Maybe the problem is that just as there are too many bloggers out there to think that I would be asked to pose for one of those porn-y naked blogger calendars, there are simply too many Jews in the competition.  13.2 million of them.  And I’m not helping matters by hanging out both online and offline with so many of them.  I need to stop conversing with Jews and therefore break free of the pack and be the only one in the vicinity and therefore become a JILF because I am the only option.  And what would you take–me or nothing?

And if we’ve already gotten to JILF, what do you think will be the next hot acronym to fit this pattern?***

* When we were driving home today, the Kojo Nnamdi Show was on NPR and he was interviewing Hal Niedzviecki (who is Jewish, yes? no? why am I bringing up yet another Jew and more competition?) who wrote the book The Peep Diaries and he talked about bloggers oversharing and truly, what could be more needy and peepish than asking if you’re ILF-able?  I’m only asking to prove his point and help him sell books.  Oooh, and I just love the term and have been looking for as many excuses as possible to use it.

** Just in case you’re wondering, M let me know that yes, I am a JILF in her beautiful eyes.

*** With 73 more blurbs to write for the Creme de la Creme before I go to bed tonight, don’t you think I should be doing something better with my time than writing blog posts asking if I’m JILF-worthy?


They put my recent TOOTPU post on the front page of BlogHer!


1 Rachel { 12.29.09 at 3:32 pm }

You’re in my Top 50. Does that count for anthing?

2 Rachel { 12.29.09 at 3:33 pm }

That should say “anything”.

3 Lollipopgoldstein { 12.29.09 at 3:35 pm }

Absolutely! I’ll take being one of the top 50 ILF-able Jews. How about top twenty, anyone. Have I made anyone’s top twenty list? I know there are a lot of us out here–Jon Stewart, Adam Sandler, Natalie Portman. But have I hit the top 20?

4 Busted Kate { 12.29.09 at 4:01 pm }

Unfortunately you only made it to #3 on my Most Awesome People on the Planet list, but if it makes you feel better #1 is Harry Potter and #2 is Jacob’s Abs (from Twilight… I know his abs aren’t a person unto themselves, but a girl can dream). But I think #3 on this list is still pretty great.

However, I would like to announce that you have risen to #1 on my People I’d Like To Have A Slumber Party With, Eat Rice Krispy Treats, and Watch Dirty Dancing With. This is a pretty prestigous list, and you’ve just beat out Neil Patrick Harris… a HUGE coup since he’s held the position forever.

5 a { 12.29.09 at 4:02 pm }

Oh Please! Make it stop with the ILFs!

(while you are beautiful and have a nice rack and all, I tend to prefer the male of the species, so you can’t make it on to my list. Sorry)

6 stephanie { 12.29.09 at 4:32 pm }

Awww. If it makes you feel any better, I only read a tiny, tiny handful of Mama blogs. And of the illustrious Babble top 50, I only read Ask Moxie and a little pregnant. Because the rest on the list are kinda snooooooze. 🙂 Yours has great content, is very engaging and seems a real labor of love (no pun intended!). You’ve made my top 1o. 🙂

7 Shelli { 12.29.09 at 5:07 pm }

Reminiscing back to your hilarious post about your “donation room” antics with your hubby, I would say you are definitely on someone’s JILF list. lol. Embrace your JILF-ness!

8 Beautiful Mess { 12.29.09 at 5:29 pm }

Most definitely on my top 10 of JILF! I haven’t got all the numbers down yet, but as soon as I do, I’ll let ya know where you are in the 10.

9 Palemother { 12.29.09 at 5:43 pm }

You know, I just can’t get into a lot of the uber-popular bloggers that make those lists (not that I seem to stumble across many of those lists to begin with).

I saw your tweet. The link to Josh’s post (that was his, no?) was broken. And I thought I’d better not answer unless and until I had some context. And in a related but totally unrelated sort of way, I am feeling so far from ILF these days, it’s a sore subject. (Because, you know, it’s all about me, even when it’s about you.)

As for over sharing. Like blogging isn’t enough of head-bleep (especially for free-range amateurs like me), all I need is some guy making rules I’ve already broken. LOL. I can writhe for days before clicking publish over the over sharing point. Sigh. Okay. I will go listen to the show.

73 blurbs. Not that you would do this, but that sounds like a job that calls for drinks made in a blender.

10 mrs spock { 12.29.09 at 5:48 pm }

Does responding to your JYLF FB post count?

Is there such thing as Jews I’d Like to Have Mojito With If Ever I Should Travel to DC?

11 LiLu { 12.29.09 at 5:48 pm }

You should start an official “JILFs of DC” list. Hilarious!

12 Meghan { 12.29.09 at 6:20 pm }

If I was into girls you’d totally be on my ILF list. I do especially like Busted Kates slumber party idea. That would rock.

13 Lavender Luz { 12.29.09 at 6:37 pm }

You are my first and most enduring bloggy-crush. Jew or not. BILF-AD, maybe? (Blogger I’d Like to Follow — And Do).

14 Mrs. Spit { 12.29.09 at 7:39 pm }

Well, you’re in mrs.spit’s top 5. ..

I’m sorry. I think you’re perfectly lovely. Nasty mean bloggers who didn’t recognize you. I shall look sternly in their general direction.

15 K { 12.29.09 at 8:11 pm }

What a crock! You completely deserve it. Not only do you write funny and engagingly you’re not one of the mega-mommy-blogger snobs I so often read. If it counts for anything you’re #1 to me!

16 JuliaS { 12.29.09 at 8:17 pm }

Well, you’re in my google reader and I never just click “mark all as read” when things pile up . . . does that count for something??

17 sarah { 12.29.09 at 8:19 pm }

If it makes ya feel better, you’re in my top 21. And I’d totally classify you as a MILF, or JILF! Totally.

Ps…just got your book in the mail, and started reading it whilst cooking dinner. Cant wait to go to bed so I can really get into it.

18 Heather { 12.29.09 at 8:32 pm }

You rock! I looked at that list and I didn’t like some of their pics at all, so I can’t figure out why you didn’t make the list. You would’ve been one of my choices.

19 HereWeGoAJen { 12.29.09 at 8:43 pm }

I don’t read any of those things that didn’t pick you but I do read you, so obviously they aren’t popular at all and you are.

I think you are pretty.

20 lynn @ human, being { 12.29.09 at 9:07 pm }

So I just purged/reorg’d my blogroll, and you’re one of my top 25 Mommy/Life bloggers.

21 Elizabeth { 12.29.09 at 9:51 pm }

It’s funny, I guess I don’t think of you as a “mommyblogger,” even though, obviously, you’re a mom and you blog, and sometimes you blog about being a mom.

That said, you and your blog are absolute tops not only in my reader but in me LIFE. Your blog provided me a secure anchor in a storm of worry and anger and grief in that first flush of failure to conceive. LOVE you, Mel.

I don’t actually participate in the blogosphere much beyond the ALI community, so I looked at the Babble list and though it was just kind of silly.

22 Leah { 12.29.09 at 9:57 pm }

I love your blog, I love your wit, I love your curly hair. For sure, 8 days a week, 25 hours a day, you are a J that I would totally F. 🙂

Does that buy me a get out of the doghouse free card that I’m going to receive when you find out I need to cancel our playdate tomorrow?

23 Erica { 12.29.09 at 9:58 pm }

I love that you blogged about this. I think writing many blurbs in a short amount of time for Creme de le creme is outrageously-ILF. We’ve met and so I know for sure you are in my top 10.

24 Lollipopgoldstein { 12.29.09 at 10:02 pm }

I am down to 10 more blurbs. 10 more blurbs! Okay, more like 50 or so blurbs, but only 10 more to hit that December 15th cutoff I promised. Everything over that is gravy.

I do not actually read Babble, but I needed something to pose the question of my JILF-ness. Mostly because I’m trying to use the term as frequently as possible.

25 Manapan { 12.29.09 at 10:34 pm }

Oh shoot! I should have known that Tweet didn’t go through when Firefox crashed. 🙁

Manapan’s Top 5 JILFs, if I Wasn’t Already Married:
1) Mel. I’m straight, but I’d make the exception for you! You are so adorable. And I am officially jealous of your hair. And um, yeah, you’re one of three Jewish people I know, so of course you’d have to top the list. (I live in South Dakota, the land where “Methodist” and “Lutheran” are considered separate religions, so anything outside of Christianity entirely just blows people’s minds.)
2) Jon Stewart.
3) Fictional JILF Ziva David from NCIS. (Yeah, this one probably doesn’t count, but I love Ziva!)
4) Natalie Portman.
5) Sarah Silverman.

I just realized that four of my top 5 are women. Maybe I can talk my husband into sharing the JILF list with me! 😉

26 Kristin { 12.29.09 at 11:21 pm }

You definitely count as a JILF. You’ve got beautiful eyes, a gorgeous rack (or so I’ve been told, hair to die for, and abeautiful soul.

27 Beth { 12.30.09 at 12:42 am }

I heart your blog, woman. HEART IT.

I’m on twitter. Just added you. “theivfgirl” is my name.

28 Stimey { 12.30.09 at 12:58 am }

I was listening to that very same Kojo show (LOVE Kojo!) today. I was at that very moment driving ahead of a woman I met solely through blogging as we were taking our kids to the nature center together. So, Peep Culture? Bring it.

Also, I don’t know you, but I’m quite sure you’re a JILF. You put some good energy out into the world.

29 Battynurse { 12.30.09 at 2:03 am }

You’re in my top 50 too. Heck you’re in my top 10.

30 Briar { 12.30.09 at 10:32 am }

Yeah, I’d do ya.

31 Kir { 12.30.09 at 12:47 pm }

LOL…you’re my number 1…for sure.

32 Minta { 12.30.09 at 12:58 pm }

You are totally in my top 5 JILF list. Behind Natalie Portman, and ahead of John Stewart 🙂

33 nonlineargirl { 12.30.09 at 1:45 pm }

Here’s another electronic ego-hug. (and thanks for the reminder that lots of other people besides me get a little ego-bruised at this end-of-year listy time)

34 Eve { 12.30.09 at 2:26 pm }

OK, this is where I prove my absolute ineptitude at ‘cybernyms’ as I had to spend quite a bit of time figuring out what JILF means. That being said, you were my first blog-crush and I remain devoted. Plus your passionate content and drive to create a suppportive community puts you heads and shoulders above the ramblings of the average mom-blogger complaining about LL Bean sizing or other such frivolity.

35 queenie { 12.30.09 at 4:39 pm }

The JILF’s of DC sounds like a much better reality show than a crappy Real Housewives show starring the White House party crasher. I would totally watch you as a starring JILF.

36 Annacyclopedia { 12.30.09 at 5:50 pm }

I was reading through all the comments and wondering why so many had qualified their answers. Cause I’m like, “heck YES you’re a JILF.” And since I may have previously had a theoretical number of Js I’d like to F, I’d never gone so far as to rank them. So what the hell – you’re #1!

37 Opposite of oops { 12.30.09 at 9:02 pm }

Oh woman, come on. You are on many, many of our top 2 lists. And we’re probably counting our own blogs on those lists too. 😉

38 Bea { 01.02.10 at 5:30 pm }

You are a card.


39 Bea { 01.02.10 at 5:31 pm }

And a JILF, probably, to be honest I’m not that way inclined. Towards females, that is, not referring to Jewishness.


40 Megan { 01.06.10 at 8:36 pm }

I’d read you over Dooce any day.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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