Random header image... Refresh for more!

ce n’est pas mon poteau de blog

And that is probably not how you say “blog post” in French except my French studies ended in 1992 when I passed my exam at college and I haven’t used French on any real basis since 1999.  And apparently, people didn’t talk about blogs back then so it never came up as a vocabulary word so…at a loss on that front.

But today is lovingly known as Xpol, the brain-child of Mission: Impossible.  People sign up, are matched with another blogger, you both post each other’s blog posts on a given date, and readers need to try to guess the original writer of the piece.  Get it?  So my post for today is free-floating somewhere around the lovely Internets and you need to guess who has it (that person would be the author of the blog post below).

So read this post.  BEFORE you even hover anywhere close to that hyperlink answer at the bottom, leave your guess in the comment section.  Did you hear that?  Before your mouse gets anywhere close to that hyperlink.  Then click over to read my thoughts that I posted over there.

Let’s begin…


When I first was told that I’d be having twins, I have to admit I fantasized about the relationship the two of them would have. I envisioned two little toddlers who’d want to spend every waking moment together. They’d play together and get along famously. Boy, was I sorely mistaken. For whatever reason, S and J have acted less like the way I expected twins to behave and more like competitive, out-for-blood brothers.

While they were babies, I told myself that their lack of closeness was because they had spent so much of their early months apart. I overlooked the fact that each saw the other as nothing more than an obstacle to climb over or from which to take a coveted toy. The screaming fits and crying jags that erupted in this house over the simplest of things were enough to make your ears bleed on a regular basis. What one had, the other wanted. If one was in my lap, the other literally tried to rip the first out it in order to take his place. It was never ending.

I tried to tell myself, the bond was there. I just needed to be patient. But, I have to admit that it was getting harder and harder to hold on to the hope.

Occasionally I saw glimmers of the possibilities. There were the times that S was so sick in the hospital. J was never quite himself until the moment S started to feel the tiniest bit better. As S improved, J seemed to snap out of his own funk at exactly the same time. And, there was also their annoying habit of tag teaming their over tired parents at bed/nap time. One would fuss for what seemed like forever. When he would finally quiet and go to sleep, his brother would take the reins and start fussing in his place. Back and forth they’d go until they had driven us both crazy with frustration. Something was happening between the two of them. So what if their desire to drive us mad was the glue that stuck them together, right? At least it was something.

S and J have just turned two, and the bond I’ve dreamt about is finally emerging. One is no longer always the rival of the other. Dare I say it? Playing together has actually been seen around this place as of late.

Now, instead of stealing a toy from his brother, J will offer S a replacement so they can trade. S is honing his comedic abilities and tries as hard as he can to get a good laugh from J. Little examples of how much they love each other are witnessed all the time now.

It makes my heart sing to see the two of them together enjoying each other’s company.

This weekend, the boys were in their cribs in their bedroom. S was frustrated and wanted to get out of bed. It was still a little early, so I ignored him and tried to get a little more sleep instead. (A girl’s got to dream!).  Over the monitor I could hear the two of them talking. J tried to comfort S and told him several times “no cry.” S calmed down some. Soon after, I heard the first “Boo!” For the next seven minutes they played peek-a-boo. They laughed and giggled as they took turns scaring the other. It was one of the cutest things I’ve ever seen and heard.

All was right in the world.

It took that moment before it hit me. S and J are close. There is a strong bond between them. I need to stop worrying about their relationship resembling something from my head and let them figure out how it will look.

You know what?

It now looks like they are doing a fine job all on their own. 🙂

Okay, so now you need to guess the author–who wrote the piece above and what are your thoughts on it?  Once you’ve guessed by leaving a comment in the comment box, click on this link to go to Mel’s post from today and find out if you guessed correctly.


1 jamie { 12.09.09 at 8:56 am }

As a twin myself I get stories about how we use to team up together to get what we wanted. I think our bond got stronger as time went on too.

2 Kate { 12.09.09 at 9:36 am }

Great post, but I have no idea who the author is! I think this is a great idea though – another creative way to assist in opening the lines of communication between bloggers… :0)

3 Miriam { 12.09.09 at 9:58 am }

My guess is that it’s Stacie from “Heeeere Storkey Storkey” – I checked the Xpol list and saw she had twins, but I’ll click the link after I comment to check. *crosses fingers*

This is a really fascinating post. When I was in high school, I had not one but three different palm readers predict I would have twin boys. I never took stock in it, until the realization that DE/IVF carries the real possibility of multiples! So it’s funny when your guest poster mentions the stories we create in our heads about how we envision things to go – I’ve got those same wistful fantasies from time to time, but I think the real fun is seeing how it plays out. This was a great post from a truly caring parent. How exciting it must be to see this twin relationship develop! Ok, I can’t resist any longer, I’ve gotta go click and see if my guess panned out 🙂

4 Miriam { 12.09.09 at 9:59 am }

Oh, and I forgot to ask- as a parent of twins yourself, how much of this resonates with you from your own experiences?

5 Lavender Luz { 12.09.09 at 10:50 am }

I guessed correctly, too! I bet you two were matched because of the twins thing.

I was matched with mine because of the age thing. Oh, joy.

6 Lin { 12.09.09 at 11:59 am }

I’m admittedly not so good with guesses from the avec list! I have some ideas of who it’s not, but none of who it is. Looking forward to checking out her blog (and Mel’s post) as soon as I’m done with this comment!

This post was so sweet! I just love the “no cry” and peek-a-boo exchange. Wonderful!

7 Kristin { 12.09.09 at 2:17 pm }

It is so cool that she is getting to watch their personalities emerge like that.

8 PottyMouthMommy { 12.09.09 at 3:05 pm }

heh…. I can’t guess because I came here from there… not that I would have had a hot clue anyhow…

a very sweet post- I can just imagine the two of them playing peek a boo together…. how adorable!!

9 Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo { 12.09.09 at 3:24 pm }


Naaah. it can’t be, her twins are too old…

It isn’t me though my sons are nearing 2 but they have been super bonded since the get-go and I never worried about it.

Stuck them in the warmer 2gether the second they were born and had them cosleeping next to each other, they still sleep w/the cribs (soon toddler beds) shaped in an “L” to pass toys back and forth and giggle and entertain each other.

I am an idential, my grandma a fraternal, my boys fraternal.

IDK my mother fostered wicked competitiveness between us kids so my twin and I were never close she looked at me as a “rival”. My grandma and her twin were very, very close. I think it has a lot to do with personality and also parenting. Because my mom got a kick out of seeing her kids compete for her love, I do the middle ground thing. Which is, don’t wish for them to compete for my love and don’t foster it, but foster love and compassion between the both of them, while trying to maintain full independence (we will have them in separate classrooms in school).

I’d love the big reveal of whose blog you are on Mel and who wrote for you!

I am having a dual blogging thing happening this week called “From Hero to Zero in a Nanosecond” which my friend Jenn, mom to 5 boys, will co-blog with me about the challenges of parenting when the DH travels and in her case, when she is a single mom… and the kids start with the indepdendence… especially boys, who are so close to their mamas when they are young. My DH travels and is home for a month and wowza. I have gone from Hero (primary caregiver) to zero like nothing flat! It will be funny w/pics as always!

Happy Tuesday to everyone…

10 geohde { 12.09.09 at 7:43 pm }

Lori- Nah, not the age thing 😉 Promise. I ain’t that cheeky!

I know who this is and I recognise the story.

Also, this give me hope that my own ear-bleeders shall someday share something.


11 a { 12.09.09 at 9:22 pm }

I wish I knew who it was…it’s a great story, so now I’m going to have to poke around yet another blog. How am I supposed to sleep or get any work done?

12 Korechronicles { 12.10.09 at 6:57 am }

Third time is meant to be a charm, but yet again I have no clue.

This is a lovely post. For me, the development of loving and sometimes competitive relationships was one of the unexpected pleasures of parenting.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author