Random header image... Refresh for more!

At This Exact Moment in Time

I have been having wonderful luck lately with meeting other bloggers.  Last week, it was Serenity and Somewhat Ordinary.  This week, it was Baby Shmaybe, To Baby and Beyond, and Palemother.

Last weekend, I was in Detroit doing a book reading.  What?  You don’t have a copy of Navigating the Land of If?  Well, you should remedy that and get yourself one.


First I met, Baby Shmaybe, who shall not be pictured as per her request, but she is simply lovely.

Then, Palemother came up after the reading which made me emotional because I didn’t know she would be there.


And then, I met To Baby and Beyond, who came with her sister, which was all kinds of cool.  And I’m so glad that I got to give her a big hug.


I am so incredibly lucky that I get to meet bloggers that I read face-to-face.

After the reading, I sat in the lobby for a bit and signed books.  Which, you know, makes a lovely present and is the perfect answer for all those pesky holiday questions about family building.  When they ask, just hand them a copy of the book.


If you could meet any blogger in this exact moment in time, who would you want to meet.  Meaning, not the blogger you most want to meet overall, but scrolling down your mental blogroll for a moment, who would be the best person to fit your mood in this moment.  You know how at different times, you’re in the mood for different people?  So, this exact second, who would it be with the understanding that ten minutes from now, it might be a different person.

I think, in this exact moment in time, I would want to be sitting cross-legged on top of a blanket with Vee at the beach.  Maybe in the late afternoon.  With a thermos of milky tea.  And a chocolate bar.  I’ve always wanted to see Australia, and I think a talk would be good.  If Bea and Eden could join us, all the better.

So I’m pouring drinks while you think about that question and catch us up on your life.

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.


1 Elizabeth { 11.17.09 at 10:48 am }

Wheee, the lushary is open!!

Right this minute, the blogger that popped into my head is Murgdan of Conceive This! I’d love to hear more stories about her Italian family.

How about a nice hot amaretto coffee while I ponder TTC #2 in the midst of sleep deprivation and a contemplative moment in my marriage?

2 KLTTX { 11.17.09 at 11:14 am }

I lurk so many bloggers that I think people would think I was a stalker if I mentioned anyone.

I will have a nice stiff drink as my husband and I contemplate adding number 3 to our family by adopting from Rwanda. I am really hoping we can swing it financially next year.

3 Mrs. Higrens { 11.17.09 at 11:43 am }

Most of the bloggers I read are either successfully pregnant or further along in their current cycles than I, so I’m not sure who, in this moment, I’d want to talk to.

I do need a drink, something strong and sneaky, please! Limoncello perhaps? I submitted this to LFCA also, but my concerns for the upcoming (new, improved!) lupron micro-flare cycle for IVF#3 are sublimated by concern for my parents best friends who are in Israel where he is in the hospital ICU with the fall-out from a clot to the brain developed during their travels there. So I’d like to request good thoughts for them as he hopefully recovers and she learns and wanders the pathways of medical care in a foreign country.

4 Mrs. Gamgee { 11.17.09 at 11:44 am }

I’d love to have Idgie from “Into the Light Again” over for dinner. I’d love to hear more of her crazy 911 operator stories.

I’d love to have some sort of hot chocolate with irish cream to warm my insides and soothe my mind today. It was in this cycle last year that we got our second bfp, and I’m finding myself overly focussed on that during this tww. I just need to mellow out.

5 karlinda { 11.17.09 at 11:48 am }

Well, other than you, Mel :), I’d wanna meet up with A, so I could have a cuddle with her new baby daughter, J.

I’d love a mai tai, with lots of fruit & umberellas & stuff, so I can sip it & imagine I’m on the beach in Hawaii. Things are going well here. We’re so close to finishing up with the paperwork & homestudy, and we’re already being shown to expectant moms. We’re feeling pretty positive at the mo.

6 loribeth { 11.17.09 at 11:52 am }

Your timing with the Lushary is perfect, as always! It is year-end at work (i.e., it’s NUTS around here), and I have been in meetings all morning, including two hours talking to an HR consultant about my job and what I do, as part of a departmental review/reorganization. Very strange to be the one being interviewed for a change — I am usually on the other side of the notebook.

So I think I will have something nice & warm to soothe my raw throat — maybe some Amaretto in my tea?

There are so many bloggers I would love to meet. You, of course, are a given. ; ) Besides yourself, I know I would love to meet up with Pamela Jeanne. Given our similar life paths, I’m sure we’d find lots to talk about.

7 Jendeis { 11.17.09 at 12:08 pm }

I’ll have a hot chocolate with whipped cream (it’s not the alcohol I miss with this detox, it’s the dairy). I’d like to meet up with Melissa from Banking On It, so we can b*tch about MF and the hockey season.

8 Melissa G. { 11.17.09 at 12:29 pm }

Aww shucks Jen!!! Right back atcha!

Looks like both of our teams are doing well so far. I hear Ovey might even be back this week.

Oh and I am always down for hot chocolate, but this morning I’m feeling Apple Cidery. Non Alcoholic of course.

9 Geochick { 11.17.09 at 1:07 pm }

I’ve started looking forward to this time of the month as there’s always so many different stories to read!

I’m feeling like a pina colada in anticipation for our vacation we’re taking after Thanksgiving. Woot! And I’m so excited to be meeting a fellow ex-FF’er for the first time (been on-line friends for a couple of years) this Thursday! Other than that, just champing at the bit and being frustrated with The Process. Way down on the list at our agency and haven’t been profiled yet because of it. 4.5 months and counting…

10 Tigger { 11.17.09 at 1:19 pm }

I’m not really sure who would fit me right now. I need someone I can just…sink in to. Someone I could sit next to on the couch and just lean over, head on shoulder, and sink. Works with my husband – but sometimes girls are just better at that.

I’m feeling stretched thin lately. Too much going on in my head. This is my last week on the phones until the beginning of the year because I start a new contract and have 6 weeks of training. I didn’t take everything into account when I signed up and managed to make it so that I don’t get to see Aaron for the rest of the year – which totally sucks. My dad is going to be dating my old dentists’ niece…which is kind of weird, aside from the whole “my dad is going on an actual date and it could actually work”. Finances, work, life…all stretching me thin.

As for a drink…hot buttered rum sounds really good right now. Warm, mellow, smooth…not like my life!

11 Courtney { 11.17.09 at 1:36 pm }

Feeling very sentimental today as this is the one year anniversary of our successful IUI. …so much has happened in one year.

I would go sit on a front porch and drink some lemonade with fellow southerner Kelly from The Yellow Room.

12 Lavender Luz { 11.17.09 at 1:36 pm }

Like everyone else, there are so many bloggers I want to meet or see again. That’s why I’m really looking forward to post-BlogHer ALI.

But the first person that came to my mind was Luna. So I’m ordering both of us, oh, how about Sangrias to shake it up?

13 Minta { 11.17.09 at 1:52 pm }

Oh for hooray the virtual lushary. Just what my hang over tummy needs, a little hair of the dog 🙂 I think I’ll have a Woodchuck hard cider, Mel. Yummy’s for the quickly escaping fall.

Right now, the blogger I’d most want to hang out with is probably Mo from Life and Love in the Petri Dish. She’s got the hang of this comedy from tragedy thing. Plus, visiting her would be a great excuse to visit the NYC. So, I’m going to blink really hard and hopefully end up sitting at a coffee shop in NYC with Mo.

Let’s see since my last visit to the lushary what has been going on? No more treatments, we’re on the “spending treatment money on Christmas” track right now. We were leaning very heavily towards adoption, have done our due diligence and decided to give pregnancy one more chance. We haven’t ruled adoption out, we’ve just decided to try pregnancy again and hope for a better outcome. Right now, to me, it just seems like the lesser of two evils. I’m none too thrilled with the prospects either way. I guess that’s just the byproduct of being burned too many times.

Also, having some major issues at work. Just the icing on the cake type of co-worker and passive aggressive boss issues, but really unnecessary in light of the bigger picture right now.

The good? I’ve been having a lot of fun with the neices and nephews and am planning a weekend Thanksgiving Craftstravaganza for them this weekend. That’s expected to be big fun.

14 Brenna { 11.17.09 at 2:14 pm }

I”m thinking Monica of Knocked Up, Knocked Down would be a good fit for me right now. She’s funny as all heck, and we’re both currently pregnant with male fetuses of a similar gestation. She doesn’t talk about her pregnancy much on her blog for reasons I completely understand, and I’m thinking that face-to-face I could dish with her a bit more on the pregnancy front. I know she’d make me laugh and think all at the same time. PLUS, I could visit the West Coast!

I’m craving sugar in a big way–of course, ever since the gestational diabetes diagnosis all I want is something sweet! So maybe I could have a mint milkshake, which is possibly the best combination of two of my favorite things in a drinkable format EVER!

15 Geochick { 11.17.09 at 2:24 pm }

Haha, I forgot to answer the question correctly! Since my friend doesn’t blog she doesn’t count. And I’ll answer it by not answering it. I’m currently following so many blogs that I can’t even choose although I’m sure I can learn a ton from Lavendar Luz.

16 Mrs. Farmer { 11.17.09 at 2:43 pm }

I think at this moment I want to meet 2 Mrs. Bee, Marla, and The Circus Princess. Sorry I couldn’t narrow it down to just 1

Umm Lets see I’m starting Gonal-F tonight. My first medicated cycle!! No alcohol for me!! So make mine a Shirley Temple 🙂

My hubby and I have been ttc since early 2008. Were just plugging along waiting for our BFP!! We have had so many tumbles and stumbles this year. My hubby’s Mother was just diagnosed with cancer a couple weeks ago and now she is really worried she won’t meet my hubby’s children. I’m praying not so much for me to get my baby but for my MIL to see her grandbabies. I try not to think negativly about the C word but I can’t help it. I want this cycle to work soo badly now.

17 Jen { 11.17.09 at 3:18 pm }

I want to sit down and chat with Mat Hatter right now. I would like a mimosa and she can have some OJ since she is waiting! 🙂

18 Erin { 11.17.09 at 3:38 pm }

I would love to meet Cindy from “Bang Head here” as we both have persians and could talk for hours about TTC and fluffy critters….
I am hoping that I get my period in the “allocated time allowance” which means I could then squeeze in another cycle here in Australia before the laws change,..

19 sunflowerchilde { 11.17.09 at 5:09 pm }

I’d choose to meet Murgdan from Conceive This! – I’d like to compare stories about our Italian husbands.

Hmmmm, I guess I will have a root beer since I have to lay off the alcohol. Only one week post-BFP, I’m still freaking out a little about the cramping which I’ve heard is normal both for pregnancy and prometrium. Also still getting used to the idea of being the p-word after two years of infertility. A lot of weird mixed emotions going on here.

20 Kristin { 11.17.09 at 6:25 pm }

Mmmm, the Lushary! I want a Kahlua Milkshake. Not much going on here except my generalized yearning for another baby…and the frustration that it isn’t happening yet As for who I would like to meet, who is a perfect fit for now…I think it would have to be Kym from I’m a Smart One. She and I just click. It feels like I’m talking to my sis and I would enjoy that right now.

21 Carol { 11.17.09 at 6:31 pm }

I’d still love to meet Karen some day (formerly of My Perky Ovaries, or Not a Clown Car) – we’ve become quite good virtual friends but still have yet to meet in person.

No drinks for me today! I’m still reeling from three very high positive betas, wondering what these very high numbers mean (how many babies??). This was IVF transfer #9 for us. BFP #4. I’ve had 1 successful pregnancy so far, one miscarriage, one “chemical”, and now it looks like hopefully another strong pregnancy.

Sure would be nice to have a little drink of something to help this next 2ww until the ultrasound go by faster, but I’ll stick with my herbal tea for now.

22 IF Crossroads { 11.17.09 at 7:00 pm }

What a neat question Mel 🙂 I’d like to officially meet you of course, and also Lara from Peanut Noodle. She always makes me laugh and smile with her comments.
I’ll take a ginger ale since I’m nursing nausea from the 2 antibiotics I just ingested for my ER tomorrow.

23 Michelle { 11.17.09 at 7:01 pm }

I would love to meet any of the bloggers I read. It is so much fun. I am so excited I got to meet you this weekend.our book is so good and your reading was great!

I will take a Bailey’s with caramel. I found out this month that I will not have any insurance for infertility starting in January and I am now really not sure what I am going to do. I am still jobless and not sleeping much so it has been a tough month.

24 edenland { 11.17.09 at 11:32 pm }

Oooooh ….. I would totally love to jump in that photo of you and Palemother and meet both of you.

25 Vee { 11.18.09 at 5:35 am }

Gosh Mel you have made my day. Thank you.
I couldn’t imagine anything more wonderful than sharing a blanket with you on the beach and having a chat and for Bea and Eden to join us well that would be fabulous! I so hope to meet you some day, I would take you to the best beaches Sydney has to offer and we could chat till the sun rises. Awesome! I have been fortunate enough to meet the lovely Bea but would also like to meet Eden some day. It is very doable as she isn’t too far, one day we will.

I have had a very challenging day. After having a very sad day yesterday and having to put my cat down, today Baby has been screaming in pain with reflux all day and I have only just settled him, also trying to keep food down a vomiting husband who has had to stop the only meds that were helping him. We have also just done a touch and feel tour of his body and found every single cancer lump on it. Unbelievable! But all I really wanted to do was go and visit my mum in hospital. I’ll have a double vodka and cranberry, thanks.

26 Bea { 11.18.09 at 6:47 am }

I am there! (Hi Vee, noticed you just above there. You certainly sound like you could use the company.)

I’d better have a coffee, strong, make it a double shot. A) I’ll be up all night drinking heavily on a beach in Sydney with some cool folk (and I haven’t even started packing my bags yet! Eeee!) and B) two full hours after I started putting the Prata Baby to bed, Mr Bea is out walking him around the neighbourhood in the stroller so I can at least eat. I have no idea what’s up with him, but I think the futon will be in full use tonight. Luckily, these tend to be pretty isolated incidents these days. Maybe you should make that a triple shot – one for tomorrow morning. With your fantastic self around (for one, not to mention Eden and Vee), I’ll be wanting to stay up regardless.


27 Valery Val { 11.18.09 at 6:49 am }

Would love to hop over to Ireland and meet Twangypearl the elastic girl. Have hot chocolate and bake brownies together. Discuss the fear of doing something vs the fear of doing nothing…

28 BeyondInfertility { 11.18.09 at 7:28 am }

Things are busy around here. I’m looking forward to the holidays, but my mind is stuck on how annoying it is that my period is late. With my crappy eggs, according to our RE, my odds are 1%. Why can’t it just show up? Uggghhh, and yes, the pee stick was negative. Why can’t my body just be normal?

Oooh, and this early early morning I’m freezing. Can I get a hot chocolate to warm up? I can get a different drink later right?

As far as a fellow blogger I haven’t met, I think I would want to sit down with Ms. J from In Our Own Weird Way. 🙂

Beyond Infertility (AKA T.e.am W.in.ks)

29 Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo { 11.18.09 at 7:46 am }

I am so glad to be somewhat healthier and see this! When are you coming to Boston or the DC area? I really want to buy your book, from your hand, vs. from Amazon….

30 JJ { 11.18.09 at 10:09 am }

Ill take an Apple Martini–its got apple in it, so its OK to have at 10am, right?

I feel so, so fortunate to have a growing list of bloggers that I have had the honor of meeting–including you, fantastic Mel.

Today, Id like to be able to take Cibele (http://cibele-hopeful.blogspot.com/) out for coffee and retail therapy–just have a girls day. Her birthday is this week, so even better! Shes just been through a lot…and shes always, always smiling–know Id want to comfort her, but shed probably end up comforting ME–just the kind of person she is.

31 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 11.19.09 at 2:19 am }

Right now I’d want to see Carrie from Tubeless in Seattle. From bedrest buddy this summer to fellow mother of newborn multiples in the fall.

I abstained from some very fine celebratory champagne that was consumed in my house last week because of nursing, so I’ll take some of what I missed.

32 cibele { 11.19.09 at 12:18 pm }

Thanks JJ. I would love to go out with you. You are so special! and Mel, I’ll let you pik my drink today. Make it good

33 Lifeslurper { 11.21.09 at 3:23 am }


Is it bad to be envious of other bloggers? ‘Cos right now the rest of us Auuustralian bloggers are a bit green over the thought of Mel paying a visit to these fine shores and not dropping around. We have a lot of coastline for you to visit! Could I possibly tempt you with a fresh packet of Tim Tams?!


(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author