Comments on: A Very Infertile Holiday Season

By: andrea

andrea — Sun, 29 Nov 2009 23:27:16 +0000

I am SO amazingly grateful to you for this post and the virtual Thanksgiving dinner post. I’ve been reading here for quite some time and wanted to jump in and join the community but hadn’t had the courage til now – Hi everyone! We’ve had primary infertility for 6 years, I have Stage 3 Endo (but only diagnosed 2.5 yrs ago), don’t ovlate and we have just learned that my husbands sperm are not doing their thing. After 2 surgeries, 6 mths fertility drugs and 1 older child International adoption, we are now on the waiting list for ICSI IVF in about 9+months.
I LOVE this post – wish I had it 7 christmases ago. Thanks again.
Andrea.

By: Bridget (@bcyberchondriac)

Bridget (@bcyberchondriac) — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 16:50:16 +0000

A couple of suggestions for handling the children-in-your-face holiday thing:
*Minimize your time at the big family dinner. Pop in on your way somewhere else.
*Look absolutely stunning and gorgeous! All the exhausted, snot-stained moms will be jonesing for your freedom and fabulousness.
*If you have a pet (cat or dog) put it front and center. Talk about it constantly, send people Christmas pictures of it, etc. It will kind of illustrate what they’re doing to you. I have this awesome single girlfriend who has the cutest beagle that she’s just nuts about. She got a giant picture of him framed and gave it to her mom for Christmas. And she insisted that her mother put this giant framed photo on the same shelf as the photos of the grandkids, in FRONT of the other photos.

By: Romancingthestone

Romancingthestone — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 14:52:04 +0000

This was a wonderful posting Mel. And so fitting. When my husband and I don’t feel like celebrating (like a few night ago for a pre-thanksgiving party we opted out of) we slip in a video of “Fiddler on the Roof”. It reminds me of childhood and family in the best way, and we can spend the night alone together! http://www.romancingthe stone.wordpress.com

By: Beth

Beth — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 12:12:15 +0000

I felt better when I could celebrate the holidays in adult ways with other childless (by choice, circumstance, or IF) friends. For example, we had schmancy cocktail parties with decidedly kid-unfriendly foods, delicate stemware, and plenty of alcohol. It wasn’t deliberately planned to be anti-kid (not all knew then that we were dealing with IF), but it was very much pro-adult. My immediate family was incredibly supportive too – we celebrated Christmas with just us – no extended relatives, no neighbors, no expectant or new parents. They weren’t the Christmases I’d hoped to have, but they did have the least amount of pain possible.

By: battynurse

battynurse — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 04:54:07 +0000

I think my family would be fine with a random IF blogger too. But there is no tofurky. Lots of other good stuff though.

By: Katie

Katie — Fri, 27 Nov 2009 00:28:41 +0000

Thank you for sharing that note, Mel. It really helped me get through today.

By: Kat

Kat — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 05:11:11 +0000

Thanks for publishing your little pocket note. I just wrote one for my best friend as she prepares to head home to her in-laws, where she will not get to tell them she’s pregnant, again. It helped me put into words what she probably needed to hear from someone right now.

By: DCPatient

DCPatient — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 20:07:11 +0000

I have come to a point where I am very thankful for the blessings and lessons I am receiving through this fertility journey. Peace to all.

By: Megan

Megan — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 18:37:40 +0000

These suggestions are so great! I wish I had been reading your blog when I was going through this. Alcohol, avoidance and tears in the middle of present opening was ok, but I think I would have done better with your list! Oh – and spending the day skiing worked sort of well, since I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I was pregnant.

By: Guera!

Guera! — Wed, 25 Nov 2009 12:39:47 +0000

I just bought three bottles of my favorite wine yesterday to take to my mom’s….and I don’t plan to share any of it.