Comments on: Unused Names and Other Questions

By: Tree

Tree — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 06:09:29 +0000

When I was pregnant with our first child my husband and I quickly agreed on a girl name but a boy name took awhile. Several years later during the third pregnancy we still had our boy name and spent six months picking a second girl name. Our second child was a girl as well so that boy name picked so many years ago in unused. Even with two healthy wonderful children that name feels like someone is missing from our home. I sometimes wonder if the second pregnancy was a boy and that was his name.

By: Kir

Kir — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 17:21:47 +0000

I’m late to the party, but I was thinking of writing of this exact thing last week. I looked at Giovanni and Jacob and thought, what about those two girl names that we picked? When I hear girls that are named Rachel or Grace it almost takes my breath away because I want to have someone to call that..I want to yell Rach..up the stairs or say “this is our little Gracie”.
I often think about why Gio’s name is his and Jacob’s his.
On vacation we answered that question more than I care to tell you about. People always want to know how Giovanni and Jacob came to be. One soooo Italian and one So “Jewish” (Their words) from such an obviously Christian family. I tell them “The story is long” …and then when given permission ..tell it.

My mom and dad had decided on Kimberly after discussing Renee for me. A week or so before I was born, my mom tells me they were in the library, she found a book of old European names..and there is was..Kirsten …and she too says she said it aloud to my dad and I was Kirsten (if I would be a girl). I think that I have become a Kirsten in every way that matters.

great post , Melissa. Who lives up to her name; sweet, to the point and uncomplicated.

By: Katie

Katie — Sun, 01 Nov 2009 13:45:54 +0000

None of my pregnancies have gone beyond 10 weeks and although we had discussed names for the first one, we were only really using nicknames for that one, and for the other one that went beyond 6 weeks (the other two, or possibly 3, didn’t even make it that far).

I don’t feel I’ve “used” the name we discussed in my first pregnancy. We are likely to be adopting, and it is likely to be a child young enough that we choose their name. I don’t see a problem with using the name we discussed in my first pregnancy, I don’t feel that it is “reserved” or “used up”, really.

By: Flying Monkeys

Flying Monkeys — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:48:02 +0000

Holy cow that’s huge and where’s the option to delete my babble. I would have shortened it. That’s like my own blog post right there.

By: Flying Monkeys

Flying Monkeys — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 04:46:35 +0000

Hm…I was supposed to be Sarah or Heather but when I came out a redhead (something my 2 dark haired parents did not expect but was repeated in with my brother 14 years later so unless the mail man drove across country, it was in the genes) they said neither fit. I was nameless until my dad’s best friend suggested my name a couple of days later. It’s funny to me that I dislike him…a lot.
When we started talking about kids we made a list. When we found out that our odds were low for kids, I would stare at the list. When we found out I was pg I picked as many names as I could to honor a few of the important people in our lives without getting into The Guiness Book, then decided we would make sure it ‘fit’. It did and I can’t see him as any other name. (He has 2 middle names, so not that bad.)
When he was 3 he told us he had a dream he had a brother named John. Over the next 3 years he would ask us if we had forgotten his brother and while I didn’t like the name very much, we decided if we had another boy we would name him John. The imaginary son we were trying to have became John. Then when the baby was actually a real live boy (which we didn’t find out the sex before hand) he didn’t look like a John so the hunt began for a name. His middle name comes from a passage in the Bible I had just read the week before (I had just started reading the Bible). I passage where a woman basically begs God for a child and tell him she promises to raise him to be God’s servant. (Something like that, it just struck a chord with me.) His first name took 2 days to decide on and he is the definition of it. To the bone. I wonder if John was one of my m/c’s and that’s why the name didn’t fit.
I know we’ll never do another IVF, unless I get a 3rd miracle I will never use my girl’s name. Maybe she was my other m/c.
There are no other names I feel compelled to use, though I hear a ton I love (Cecelia is one of them, it makes me sing Simon and Garfunkle even though their Cecilia is a dirty girl. ). Maybe that’s another sign deciding to hang up my stirrups was the right thing to do, even though I wonder some times.
As for whether or not I fit my name or my life would have been different, I can’t imagine being called anything else. Neither can anyone I’ve told what my ‘other’ names were supposed to be.

By: Liddy

Liddy — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 14:48:35 +0000

My parents wanted to name me Anastasia as they were convinced I was a girl before I was born. Then when my mum went into labor on my grandfather’s and great grandfathers birthday, I was told they thought I was a boy, so they decided on Felix James Thomas. When I came out as a girl, my mum said this is no Anastasia, so I went nameless for the first day. I ended up being named after my dad’s older sister’s middle names and then for my second middle name I was named after the Simon and Garfunkel song “Cecilia”.

E and I picked the name of Kristianna after the hotel clerk in Oslo. With E’s very Scandinavian last name any non-Scandinavian name is going to sound funny.

By: claire

claire — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:19:21 +0000

Ps it’s on my most recent blog post:)

By: claire

claire — Thu, 15 Oct 2009 03:18:58 +0000

Hi Mel!
I hope you don’t think this is hokey, but I figure that awards are for everyone – so I gave you an award. I have found out that recieving an award and posting it is very time consuming – so having read that you get about 50 requests for book reviews every day, I don’t want to add to your burden. It’s an appreciation award. It could be a rhetorical appreciation award – so it would not necessarily have to be answered or reciprocated. thanks for being you:)

By: Astrid

Astrid — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:28:41 +0000

I’ve definitely become my name, through and through. The funny thing is that my parents did name me something else when I was born. I was “Samantha” for a few days. They put it on the bracelet, bassinet, birth certificate and everything. Then, a couple days later, they just up and changed their minds and went through the WHOLE process of changing it. I think after a few days of knowing me they had a feeling I was an Astrid and not a Samantha.

Anyway. My unused name went to my dog. And I still love it and have never met a dog more deserving.

By: B

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 22:15:39 +0000

Maybe, if at some point, it is clear that the name won’t ever be used, you could have something in your garden with that name written on it.
Maybe?