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Serving Up Cocktails

By the time the next Virtual Lushary rolls around, the Creme de la Creme list will have been started.  I know–it’s a little crazy.  The chill has just hit the air here.  I’m wearing a jacket for the first time since last winter.  But if I don’t start it early enough, I don’t get it done.  And it’s pretty much my favourite thing I do all year.  So I’ve started constructing the opening post and am working on the new icon for this year today.

This will be the fourth list, and that fact alone blows my mind a little.  In 2006, it was pretty small–77 posts.  In 2007, it had doubled to 160 posts.  In 2008, it grew again to 222 posts.  My goal this year is to break 300 posts.  I would love all 2000 blogs on the blogroll to have a post on the list, and I’m looking to you guys to help me nudge everyone to join along.  If you have a favourite post that has appeared on another person’s blog, let them know.  Kick each other’s asses, so I don’t have to.  The list will open at the beginning of November, so I give you this heads up in case you want to start thinking about it so you can be high-up on the list or hitting publish on a particular post in your draft folder.

The place where I need the most help– and this section always gets the least amount of attention so I’ll say it again and again over the next few weeks–is with blogs that have closed in 2009.  Meaning, they didn’t go password protected or on a pause–the author has either removed the blog entirely and has stopped blogging or they have stated that they are done with the site, but are leaving it up.  So if you can think of blogs that fit this description (and they ended in 2009–not 2008 or earlier), send them my way or leave the name in the comment section below.

So can we raise a glass of a cream-based drink for the Creme de la Creme list?  Because we all have a personal favourite post.

As always, it has been about a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through IComLeavWe), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have an imaginary cocktail and tell us what is up with your life.


1 Blanche { 10.13.09 at 5:41 pm }

I’m going to be all girly tonight and ask for a Cosmo to celebrate surviving the annual ob/gyn checkup without being bombarded by pregnant bellies. (Target at lunch was a different story. Sigh. You win some, you lose some.)

2 Minta { 10.13.09 at 6:01 pm }

OK, well, I’ll be enjoying a Kahlua and cream here at the bar today. Poor me one, Mel.

I’ve never shared here at the lushery, so a quick catch up for those who don’t know me. I’m a PCOS’er with way too much drama and lots of other health issues. The hubs and I have been trying for a live baby for way too many years, but we do have six angels. And two dogs. And two nephews.

And that wasn’t even the story!

Recently, I blogged something that hurt one of my friends feelings. We talked about it and were mostly over it, but there was still a little tenseness. So, today we went to lunch and spent way too long talking over a pitcher of… kool aid, that’s right… lime kool aid. (No this isn’t my first trip to the lushery this fine day!) It was really just what we needed both individually and for our friendship. We haven’t talked that long or easily since she had her baby. It turned out that we were both holding some things in that the other needed to hear. It was a really great (although long) lunch.

In other news, there is no other news. Cycling au natural which = nothing.

Look forward to reading the other stories today.

3 Kitty { 10.13.09 at 6:27 pm }

Le sigh. I’ll take a mudslide today. I don’t care if it’s cold and rainy outside, I want something slushy! 🙂

This is my first visit to the virtual lushery, too. I’m having some in-law drama myself. It’s not on my blog as the person in question follows me there. I have a SIL who has been very supportive about my IF crap… until lately. She has “decided” that she’s going to get pregnant next spring, and I guess I offended her by asking that she please let me know when it happens before she announces it to the family (the way she “announced” her intent to get pregnant at a recent family dinner). Since then she’s been giving me advice on how I should deal with my admitted depression over IF (read: telling me to go on antidepressants), and generally being insensitive about the whole thing. Everything just came to a head today, and I’m thinking a little distance is in order. And definitely thinking I’ve earned a drink!

Thanks for the ear and drink, barkeep!

4 Meim { 10.13.09 at 6:27 pm }

Since this is virtual… I’ll take the hardest thing you got!

Super low beta yesterday, and I’m officially in beta hell… again. I know it’s not impossible to have this work out, just highly unlikely.

I’d love to get vitually sloshed!

5 Rach { 10.13.09 at 6:57 pm }

Nothing creamy for me, I’ll take a straight up double shot of vodka.

I’m currently intervening in a debate that my head and my heart are having over whether to throw my hands up and say “thats it, enough, no more pain, we’re done ttc”.

My brain says, we can’t take anymore pain or disappointment after our latest – our 5th miscarraige.

My heart says we can’t give up it’s just too painful – which is kind of ironic considering it’s my heart that is taking the battering everytime we lose another one.

Meim, hope your beta’s start rising hon!


6 Pie { 10.13.09 at 7:14 pm }

I’m feeling tame this month, so just a light white wine for me, thanks.

And thanks Mel for your email the other day, it really touched me. I know how many comments you get, but to get a personal response was so kind. Thanks.

As for me, I’m in cycle limbo at the moment. Waiting for genetic results on 2 blasts, waiting to hear if I can cycle again in November, waiting to hear if I will try yet another protocol. Lots of waiting.

While I wait, I seemed to have finished my wine. How about that Jack-n-Coke now? How does that rhyme go…wine before liquor…uh-oh.

7 Louise { 10.13.09 at 7:27 pm }

I will take a glass of pinot…that would be beautiful.

Lately I’ve been blogging about feeling directionless, alone at times and trying to better harness my optimism and cheer. It’s hard, but fortunately, there are several posters who bring so much to each comment and thought they type back. It really inspires me!

I hope to continue to grow through this crappy, crazy journey through IF. It sucks…a lot of the time. And, I don’t hold a lot back. But, it helps that I can meet others virtually who are in the same place and who can offer great feedback and assvice!

Check out my blog if you’re up for a crazy journey…but a very realistic one! 🙂

8 S { 10.13.09 at 7:32 pm }

Hell, anything alcoholic for me….but I’ll settle for some vodka. With a vodka chaser. Followed by a vodka shot.

I just had my 5th IVF cycle that looked really great, and ended up with another chemical (my second), which we found out about on what was our 9th wedding anniversary. Oh, and did I mention that my younger brother and SIL (who’ve been married for six months) announced their recent pregnancy duirng my 2ww. My parent’s first grandchild. ‘Nuff said.

I’m also in that “do we stop or go on” state right now. I mean, it DID work, just not with the results that we all hoped for. It proved for the second time that I can get pregnant. So, what happens now? I guess we won’t find out until our follow-up next Thursday.

Meim, I’m hoping for the best for you.

Now, excuse me while I go buy another case of vodka…….

9 loribeth { 10.13.09 at 7:44 pm }

Ah, wonderful to see the Lushary open!! I will have a glass of Baileys on ice, please. Dh & I are in the middle of a much-needed week off. Not doing a whole lot, but enjoying being lazy and recharging our batteries (a perq of childless/free living, I guess). And catching up on reading lots & lots of blogs. ; )

10 Kristin { 10.13.09 at 8:05 pm }

I’m going to go ahead and have a nice pitcher of Grasshoppers – Creme de Menthe, Creme de Cacao, and cream (but I prefer vanilla ice cream). I feel the need to drown my sorrows a bit. My friend Velda has been diagnosed with terminal cancer, my son has been dealing with a muscle spasm in the neck and we all know what a PITA sick males are, and my niece has to go in for tests because she has significant blood in her stool. NO MORE…please.

11 Quiet Dreams { 10.13.09 at 8:14 pm }

My first time at the lushary…a jack and coke for me, please, Mel.
Am gearing up for my divorce mediation in another state and am hoping, hoping not to have to actually see him (arrangements have been made for separate rooms). I don’t know what to expect–if it will be a complete waste of time and (lots of) money, or if we will be able to walk away with a settlement. It all depends on his mood. As did so much of my marriage with him…

I think I’m ready for that drink now.

12 somewhat ordinary { 10.13.09 at 8:31 pm }

How about if I have some ice cream after I drink a couple of glasses of pino noir. Cause when I get off this treadmill (I’m multitasking from my blackberry) that is what I’ll be enjoying!

This week just sucks! Our washer broke and my husband could care less. H1N1 has hit my son’s daycare. My dog needs a biopsy on a mass. He had FLEAS-first time in 9 years, meaning don’t go for the cheap stuff when you run out of your dog’s prescription. I spilled an entire cup of coffee on a pair of cream pants today.All this in 2 days! Nothing earth shattering, but frustrating none the less.

13 Lin { 10.13.09 at 8:32 pm }

My favorite of the creamy drinks is a White Russian. Mmmmm! Haven’t had one of those in a long time, so I think I’ll indulge since this is virtual, after all (and I’m still working off that fried food from the fair last weekend!)!

This month has been filled with lots of ups and downs. The ups…A slightly improved SA (better count and motility, negligible improvement on the morph). We’re in IUI range now based on the count and motility, but the uro says that the morph is still a deal-breaker on anything but IVF. We have our RE initial consult on 10/26…counting down the days to a plan!

At the same time, DH’s depression is raging at the moment. We’re used to the cycle, but it doesn’t make it any easier. We’ve had the “should we put TTC on hold” conversation here recently, but decided to continue down the path until we get to the treatment stage and then reevaluate how he’s feeling. 2-3 months is a long time with the depression…who knows how he’ll be feeling next week, let alone 3 months from now!

So, dealing with that, but we’re both excited to meet with the RE and get a treatment plan. Meanwhile I’m at 5DPO, but our timing was terrible, so I’m not that hopeful this month. How many times can I say that I’m looking forward to having a plan??? Soon, please! 😉 (Ironically, we did MBTI personality tests at work a few weeks ago…they showed that I need a plan, too! I wasn’t the least bit surprised!)

14 Io { 10.13.09 at 8:33 pm }

I’ll have a glass of red wine- whatever you have open is fine! I woke up all menstrual this morning and sitting at work crampy and tired was no fun.

15 Shellie { 10.13.09 at 8:48 pm }

My sister is almost ready to pop (pregnant with my nephew) and I am trying so hard to let my happiness for her show through the green that I feel being that this is her second child when I have been trying for 10 years and only have stillborn twin girls to show for it. I am happy for her but I also admit I am having a hard time accepting how my baby sister can have 2 when I can’t even have one. So I will take a nice BIG strong drink! PLease don’t think I am a horrible person.. I am not and I have shopped for baby stuf with her and made the baby a blanket and gone to Dr appts with her and I am constantly there for her for WHATEVER she needs. Her needs always come before mine cause that is what a good sister does!

16 HereWeGoAJen { 10.13.09 at 9:03 pm }

My aunt has been cured of lung cancer, only to just have seizures and get rushed to the hospital to have a brain tumor discovered. It feels like the end. We hope it isn’t.

17 staciet { 10.13.09 at 9:05 pm }

I am not really a drinker, but I feel I might as well just go for it tonight. I’ll take what ever you suggest, Mel.

Today is cd1 for my second attempt at a FET. The first one was cancelled when I ovulated through the meds. (I am such an overachiever it seems.) I am cautiously optimistic but worried. I tend to do the pregnancy part well enough, it is the sticking part that gets me. Anyway, couple that with a crappy week at work, and it is definitely time for a drink or two.

Cheers, Mel. Congrats on the start of the Creme de la Creme list!

18 Krystal { 10.13.09 at 9:09 pm }

I’ll have a BIG malibu and pineapple juice. Maybe in one of those cups you get at the movies?

I’m currently in the “waiting for AF” stage. Halfway through my 12 days of provera before a third round of femara. It’s all getting a little old. Add to it a weekend with my in-laws (after working all night), who like to criticize my parenting skills (we have a 2 year old son who we’re in the process of adopting through the foster care system.). Also, my younger sister is on her 4th pregnancy with 3 different guys in about 3 years. 2 of them ended in a miscarriage, so I do feel bad for her. But, it’s still no fun that she can get knocked up again the next cycle. I love my neice to death, just like I will love this new baby, but it sucks. I often question why SHE’S the one who gets the kids, even though I am the one who did it “right.” Know what I mean?

This has been a great first visit to the lushery!

19 Melissa { 10.13.09 at 9:49 pm }

oooh, after realizing that this month was two years of ttc#2 with 2 miscarriages along the way, i’m up for a bottle of triple olives, cherry flavored with some tasty mixer 😉

20 JJ { 10.13.09 at 10:27 pm }

Big job changes for me and Mook and I have this teeny issue with a thing called change. PMS is making me cranky and wanting to ear everything in sight, so please do pour me a very tall glass of Shiraz. Thanks for the bar stool!

21 Shadowedge { 10.13.09 at 10:29 pm }

I’m going to pull up a chair, even though I stumbled onto this community through a completely different route, and am not planning on having children.

I’m child-free by choice, but I hope each and everyone one of you who wants a child of your own gets there. I respect and admire this community I had no idea existed, and would have never found without a random link to this blog.

As for me, I’ll have a pumpkin ale, and say things are pretty good, but busy. I’m finishing off graduate school, job hunting for something after graduation, and dealing with my grandfather’s death, and Dad’s health problems. So, sad at points but pretty good.

22 Care { 10.13.09 at 11:44 pm }

This week I deleted my entire blog history – 4 1/2 years worth of blogging gone forever. While I’m still angry about the circumstances (stalker) that led me to make that decision, if I’m honest, it feels a bit cathartic as well to let go of all that past.

23 Care { 10.13.09 at 11:45 pm }

And of course, forgot to add that I’d like a margarita please, with lots of salt. How could I forget my drink?!

24 Lavender Luz { 10.14.09 at 12:08 am }

Kahlua and creme for me. And I’ll buy you one, too.

Trying to tantalize for just one more day or two with LC Trivia.

Aiming to get a project out the door in 17 days. Gulp!

25 Baby Smiling In Back Seat { 10.14.09 at 1:26 am }

Since my world currently revolves around breastmilk, cream-based drinks sound totally unappealing. Something fruity instead, please.

At the last lushary, I was midway through more than a month of hospital bedrest, trying to keep my babies from being born. Now I am the mother of two amazing newborns who are making their way toward leaving the hospital. Craziness.

26 karlinda { 10.14.09 at 2:49 am }

I’ll just take a double espresso, if that’s OK. Gave the stuff up last year, but I’m currently trying to induce lactation, & getting up in the middle of every night to pump is exhausting. All the agro of having a newborn, but without the bairn to show for it. And at least with a newborn, it should end in a few months, and in the meantime dh could take a turn; I can see no end in sight for this yet, and of course I can hardly pass these things on for him to deal with. I need my coffee!

27 Jules { 10.14.09 at 6:27 am }

Geez. I can’t remember the last time I had a drink here. It’s definitely been a while. But I’m back (not that I really left, but anyway…).

For those who don’t know me, I’ve been there done that in the world of IVF & never thought I’d get there, but finally have. My new blog now consists of the after life of my infertility journey (parenting) & other day to day stuff. I’ve even re-open my old blog for a walk down memory lane.

Even though I’ve crossed over, I’m still as bitter & twisted as ever & all the hurts are still there.

Sending a big hug to those of you still riding the roller-coaster.

28 Guera! { 10.14.09 at 7:57 am }

I loved reading these comments today. I am work so will have to come back later to go to their respective blogs and comment on a few of them. However, I am with LoriBeth.; pour me a Baileys on ice. I am still riding the wave of motivation and trying to capitalize on it as much as I can…applied to go back to school, I’m in the throes of C.A.S.A training, and trying to find productive ways to spend my time. I got a small translation job which came at a good time. I’m feeling unusually hopeful about adoption and thinking our match is right around the corner in spite of no progress in a year. I don’t know where that’s coming from but I’ll take it. Bottoms up!

29 Devon { 10.14.09 at 8:24 am }

Hmmm, I think I’ll have a glass of Reisling…yum.

We’re in the middle of a donor IVF cycle that started out pretty bumpy, everyday we were on the verge of cancellation- and in the middle of all the bumpiness I found out that a family member and a close friend are pregnant- Now it seems we are going to give it a go! Donor started meds yesterday, so we’re taking it one step at a time and the days are dragging along. Hopefully retrieval and transfer will be at the end of the month, just keeping our fingers crossed that we make it that far-Funny that our transfer is estimated to take place on our 7th wedding anniversary, and Beta day would fall on my birthday! ( I’m pretty anxious about that).

30 Brooke { 10.14.09 at 10:47 am }

How about a drip line of grey goose vodka? Or is that beyond your capabilities as a virtual bartender? Some pregnant women want salt, some sugar I want Vodka. No I am not an alcoholic and no I have not caved. Just for some odd reason I really want a taste. In the meantime while I hold out another 6.5 months I will take what you give me and it will suffice:) Cheers Ladies to a wonderful online support group and the best group of online bloggers evah!

31 Geochick { 10.14.09 at 12:43 pm }

Pumpkin ale…yum! I’ll steal that idea…

Found out yesterday that a message board friend of mine lost her twins (IVF) around 14-15 weeks. I’m so sad for her. On top of that I’m on what feels like permanent waiting status…the agency is having a very slow year and we’re #42 on the list. *sigh*

32 Kate (Bee In The Bonnet) { 10.14.09 at 12:44 pm }

MMMMMM. Cream! I’ll have a frozen mudslide, but not one of those crappy ones from awful-americana-themed-dining-Chil-Apple-Garden-Chain-monstrosities– I want one from our homegrown favorite, original location Village Tavern, with the fudge-caramel swirl inside the glass. And EXTRA Kahlua, since this is a fantasy and all.

I am in the midst of my wait-until-beta-test and the progeste-rage is really starting to build. Ice cream plus alcohol would really take the edge off. The shots are really, really stressing me out, but what is further stressing me out is the fact that my frickin’ clinic is so unresponsive to my concerns. And that really upsets me, because (insurance or not) I’m paying a whole hell of a lot of money and going through some really rough stuff in order to bring home a baby. The least they could do is to pretend that I’m a human rather than a feather for their cap. Geez.

Yeah. I need to take it down a notch. I know.

I am far spun off into the land of google searches for IVF success rates and twinning rates with eDETs and how-soon-can-I-test-at-home-please-for-the-love-of-pete-when-will-I-know-if-this-thing-worked??? (Unsurprisingly, that last search term doesn’t bring back many hits… too bad. It should.)

Sanity is being barely maintained with a daily dose of comments from my awesome, awesome blog friends who are always more than willing to talk me down off the ledge. And that willingness to see me through all of the nonsense really has been the one thing to make the process bearable. I cannot imagine what I would have done if I had started this IVF business without this community. I really can’t.

And now, dreaming of mudslides, I am instead off to warm up an Amy’s samosa pocket for lunch… Not quite as thrilling as the fantasy, somehow.

33 clare { 10.14.09 at 2:01 pm }

Oh, just give a pitcher and turn up the music – I want to let my hair down and dance and flirt and give everyone something to point and stare at while I have a bit of fun.

Best that way… a drink and a chat and I think I’d bore you all with my worries over quitting my job. Oh and I get to go to the menopause today to look again at HRT. The last time I went didn’t go so hot… but I am trying to be open minded and go again. No work tomorrow, so bring the drinks round… I don’t particularly feel like being in control or grown up right now.

shots anyone?

34 IdleMindOfBeth { 10.14.09 at 2:12 pm }

I have a bunch of as-yet-unbloggable things going on, some good some bad, all of them drink worthy, so set me up with something yummy! Perhaps a White Russian, in keeping with the Creme theme?

35 Elizabeth { 10.14.09 at 4:10 pm }

It’s my first time here–Hi everyone! I’d like a white Russian… make that a double please!
After stressing about it for the past 2 months, I just missed my CD3 FSH & Estradiol b/w. CD5 and the office STILL hasn’t returned my call to schedule it. This is not the first time they’ve slacked– it took them 2 months just to tell me my pathetic AMH results. So now, I have to wait another month to find out if I have time to wait… maybe I need to find a new doc?
On the non-hormonal side of life: my 21 yo brother just got engaged to a chick he’s known for 10 months, 8 of which he was deployed. He can’t wait to be a dad, she never wants kids. As a very recent divorcee, I’m feeling very optimistic about his future marital bliss.
Now, back to a research paper due Friday.

I’m down for a shot!

36 Hope Springs { 10.14.09 at 5:10 pm }

I’ll have a nice cup of tea, please. I went in for egg collection this afternoon thinking I had four nice follicles and hoping to get two or three eggs out of them – so how excited am I to have a whole half dozen?! Of course, I now have to wait to find out if any of them fertilise, but so far, so good…

37 Lorin { 10.14.09 at 5:14 pm }

Hi, all. I’m new here but I thought I’d join in. I’ll have a glass of a really jammy California zinfandel, please. I better make it quick, as I start Letrozole tomorrow for the first time (switching it up from the Clomid for my 2nd IUI) and am not really sure how I’ll react to that. After almost 2 years of TTC and weeks at a time of not drinking, my tolerance for alcohol is gone. But, hey!, at least I’m a cheap date. And it turns out, no need to worry about me accidentally getting pregnant if we wind up in bed together. (yeah, gotta laugh or I’d cry all the time.)

38 furrow { 10.14.09 at 5:27 pm }

I’ll take a mojito. Isn’t that the best girlfriend drink? We just started with a new RE yesterday. Had a miscarriage at 6 wks in September. Hoping that it doesn’t take us very long to get a sticky one, but all together, things aren’t too bad. Best of luck this month to everyone else.

39 Caitlin { 10.14.09 at 6:39 pm }

I will have one super-sized margarita.


Welp, after finding a 7cm hemorhaggic cyst on my ovary in a yearly check-up, I went in for lap #2. During the lap they discovered an even bigger problem…stage IV Endo. The plan is to start Lupron for 6 months to give my tubes time to heal without scarring – this of course is only if I get approved for free meds. Insurance doesn’t cover injectables and we don’t have $4K laying around.

For now, we are just playing the waiting game…

40 B { 10.14.09 at 6:47 pm }

Here is a blog that I came to care about and has disappeared without a trace onemustcontinuetobelieve.blogspot.com

And if you need help writing blurbs for Creme de la Creme, I could put my hand up for a handful……. if you need to outsource

And also, (hope I’m not over stepping the line here) a little linky thing like the “rooms” at the top of the blogroll list would make the Creme even more delicious if that is possible – maybe more theme or feel rather than diagnosis. Scrolling down 220 got a little confusing as to where I was up to.

Thanks for your hard work Mel

Cheers to you

41 Julia { 10.14.09 at 7:13 pm }

Oh boy, do I need a drink! A very fruity but not overly sweet drink, that is plenty strong, the fact that is nicely disguised under the fruitiness. A Blue Aruba, say.

I’ve had an ear infection for over a week. It’s finally getting better now, with a new set of antibiotics– the first prescription apparently didn’t work. But I could deal with that, I think. What’s really getting me down is that I didn’t get the job I wanted for January, not even a phone interview. There are very few jobs posted around here for September. And the one I just spied today that I would be perfect for probably won’t hire me because I don’t formally have one of their requirements, even though I would totally rock it.

I am going to apply for adjuncts, and look for tutoring jobs, and I am sure we won’t starve. But what I really want is a real position where I can do some real independent work, and have the respect that I fucking well deserve at this point. Sigh. I guess I need another Blue Aruba.

42 IF Crossroads { 10.16.09 at 4:27 pm }

Wow, there is nothing like a late arrival at the bar, huh? Can I squeeze in here? I’ll take a vodka and OJ please! I’m living it up the next 3 weeks while I’m on BCP”s for IVF numero uno. I just got the all-clear to start the IVF party – awesome. 🙁

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