Random header image... Refresh for more!

My Grandmother

Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and thought to myself, my grandmother is dying right now.  And I had the strongest feeling that if I wanted to tell her something in that moment, she would be able to hear me, so I spoke to her in the middle of the night.  This morning, my mother called to tell me that my grandmother had died in the middle of the night last night.  But I already knew.  It was around the same time that I bolted up awake.

After calling two of my cousins, who are more like sisters, I wrote something to read at the funeral.  This is my favourite story about my grandmother and you need to know that she called me her rotten egg and I loved being called this.  It started when I was little and her feisty-ness was one of the first things to go a few years ago, but I loved it when she could muster up calling me this nickname when I did something stupid such as forget to bring pants.

One time, I drove home from graduate school with a friend. When we hit Hartford, I realized I had forgotten my clothing and we had to drive back up to Massachusetts, grab my clothes, and hit the road again. I called my grandmother to tell her that we’d be late for lunch and she sighed as if this was par for the course for her Rotten Egg. When we got there, she fed us–she always made me buttered noodles–and we chatted at the dining room table.

“Do you have a beau?” my grandmother asked J–.

“I do, Grandma,” my friend told her. “But I’m a lesbian. Her name is G–.”

Grandma clapped her hands in happiness and grabbed J–‘s arm. “I have always said that women bring everything beautiful to a relationship. With my husband, it was always me–I brought the beauty, the small details. What I don’t understand are gay men. There’s no one there to bring the pretty. But with two women, it must be wonderful all the time. Is it? Is it wonderful and beautiful all the time?”

J– laughed and looked at me, not understanding that I had the sassiest, most headstrong, tell-it-like-it-is, decades-before-her-time grandmother. That if my grandmother were a shoe, she would be a steel-toed doc marten. If my grandmother was a drink, she’d be gin. That my grandmother gave me the advice to take a boy on a test-drive before you married him. That while she was a product of her generation, she was also marching to her own drummer loud and clear in terms of her opinions and thoughts.

“It is beautiful,” J– agreed.

“Women, you laugh with them, you pee with them,” my grandmother mysteriously and famously said, and to this day, I never knew exactly what she meant by that statement, but her love of the sisterhood, her sassiness, her stamina, her broadness–these are the traits I hope I’ve learned as her Rotten Egg.

I love you, Grandma.


1 May { 10.31.09 at 12:41 pm }

I’m so sorry for your loss. What a wonderful, funny, lovely grandmother. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Oh, Mel, I’m so sorry. *hugs*

2 Beautiful Mess { 10.31.09 at 12:44 pm }

I’m truly sorry about the loss of your grandmother. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Hold your memories and that special relationship you had with her, close to your heart. She’ll always be there. Lean on your family, let them be a source of comfort right now.

Sending you so much love and strength.

3 Delenn { 10.31.09 at 12:53 pm }

So sorry for your loss. She sounds a lot like my Grammie, in that tell-it-like-it-is sense. What a wonderful story to tell about her.

4 Annacyclopedia { 10.31.09 at 12:57 pm }

Oh, Mel. I’m so sorry for your loss. And at the same time I’m thankful that you had such a close relationship with such a beautiful and wonderful grandmother. I hope the fact that you got to say goodbye in your own way brings you comfort as you grieve. My thougts and prayers are with you.

5 Sam { 10.31.09 at 12:59 pm }

What a lovely story; and I am sure it’s only one of a million happy memories!! May she always live within you.

6 Flying Monkeys { 10.31.09 at 1:00 pm }

What a great story! I’m sorry for the loss of your grandma, she still lives on in you.

7 Eve { 10.31.09 at 1:02 pm }

I’m so sorry for your loss. She’s sounds like she was one-of-a-kind and just wonderful. Your story brought tears to my eyes.

8 karlinda { 10.31.09 at 1:11 pm }

Oh, Mel, I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like she was an amazing, open-minded, strong woman. You were so lucky to have her.

9 Jill { 10.31.09 at 1:14 pm }

So sorry for your loss. Sounds like you learned a lot from an amazing woman.

10 PerchancetoDream { 10.31.09 at 1:19 pm }

I’m so sorry for your loss. I too had a sassy grandmother and I miss her every day. But I can still hear her voice in my head, and for that, I’ll always be grateful. I hope that her sense of humor and love live on in you.

11 Rachel { 10.31.09 at 1:23 pm }

I am sorry for your loss Mel. Your grandmother sounds like she was a delightful woman.

12 Betty M { 10.31.09 at 1:24 pm }

I love those stories – you are lucky to have shared time with her. I am sorry for your loss.

13 Rebecca { 10.31.09 at 1:28 pm }

Oh Mel, I am so very sorry for the loss of your dear Grandma. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

14 Silya { 10.31.09 at 1:32 pm }

I’m so sorry, Mel. She sounds amazing, and what a wonderful blessing that you were so close to her.

15 Battynurse { 10.31.09 at 1:44 pm }

Oh Mel, I’m so so sorry about your grandmother. She sounds like a truly wonderful and amazing person. What a fabulous story you shared about her. Thinking of you and your family this weekend and sending many hugs.

16 Hyla { 10.31.09 at 1:46 pm }

I am sorry for this loss. I am glad that she awoke you and you were given the chance to speak with her.

17 tash { 10.31.09 at 1:57 pm }

Oh Mel, I’m so, so sorry. Heartfelt hugs to everyone in your family.

Reminds me of when I brought home my best (gay) friend from grad school home for the holidays, and my grandmother was there as well. My mom warned her in advance (so she wouldn’t say anything too, too stupid I guess) and her first comment to my mother after meeting my friend was, “She doesn’t look gay! She’s . . . . beautiful!” (Which begs the question: what did she think, and where did she get that idea? But that’s another post) And then my friend sang for her, and my grandmother was smitten, they were inseparable through the vacation, and grandma never failed to ask me how she was doing, years and years later.


18 JC { 10.31.09 at 2:07 pm }

I”m so sorry for your loss. I’m teary-eyed reading this, your Grandma sounds wonderful. My Grandma was feisty like that and I still think about her almost every day, even though she’s been gone for years. I can’t wait till my Mom is a Grandma, I think she’s gonna be the sam way. I’m glad you have such awesome memories of her to think about and pass on to your kids one day.

19 mybumpyjourney { 10.31.09 at 2:09 pm }

I am sorry for your loss. Your Grandmother sounds like a awesome person! {{HUGS}}

20 Rachel { 10.31.09 at 2:14 pm }

My condolences. Your grandmother sounds like she was a fantastic woman.

21 Circus Princess { 10.31.09 at 2:16 pm }

What a fantastic grandma you had! I’m sorry for your loss but happy for the wonderful times you had with her 🙂

22 MeAndBaby { 10.31.09 at 2:16 pm }

I’m sorry to hear about the passing of your grandmother. She sounds like a great lady. How lucky you both were to have each other in your lives.

23 MeAndBaby { 10.31.09 at 2:17 pm }

(I hit submit too quickly!) And that’s a great story!

24 Chris { 10.31.09 at 2:22 pm }

Oh Mel, I’m so sorry for your loss, but so happy for you that you were able to speak to her one last time, even if it wasn’t in the traditional sense. I’m also so happy for you for the wonderful memories you have of a delightful woman you are lucky enough to call your Grandma.

25 Trinity { 10.31.09 at 2:25 pm }

So very sorry, Mel. Sending warm wishes of comfort to you and your family right now…

26 a { 10.31.09 at 2:29 pm }

I’m so sorry for your loss. Your grandmother sounds like an original – what a great story.

27 Sue { 10.31.09 at 2:35 pm }

So very sorry to hear of the passing of your grandmother. What a special connection you had with her! What an amazing woman. What a treasure. What wonderful memories.

28 Mer { 10.31.09 at 2:35 pm }

I’m very sorry for your loss. The world needs more people like your grandmother, not less.

29 Birds and Squirrels { 10.31.09 at 2:40 pm }

Mel, I am so sorry about the loss of your grandmother. She sounds like an absolutely amazing woman! Thank you for sharing that story with us. How amazing that you woke up and had that feeling and were able to speak to her. That is beautiful.

30 Meghan { 10.31.09 at 2:50 pm }

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandma but I do love that you got to talk to her one last time. I’ll keep you and your family in my thoughts

31 Shelli { 10.31.09 at 2:51 pm }

Mel, I am so sorry for you loss. Your grandmother sounds like the most precious gem. Thinking of you and your family.

32 Barb { 10.31.09 at 3:01 pm }

Absolutely lovely Mel. I can relate to having family with cousins like sisters and all that.

Sending my love.

33 Hillary { 10.31.09 at 3:01 pm }

I am so sorry for you loss, Mel. Thinking of you and your family!

34 Wishing4One { 10.31.09 at 3:03 pm }

Ah Mel, so sorry for your loss. Its good she let you know last night she was leaving. That is so special, she meant to do it.

My Gram let me know when she had her first stroke, I called the minute I felt it and it was happening then. She was a trip too, always told Super S he was like a priest and me a nun, looong story.

Sending you big hugs and peaceful thoughts from Cairo. Be well my dear friend. xoxoxoxoxoxo

35 luna { 10.31.09 at 3:10 pm }

crying here with you mel. this gave me the chills. in all the most beautiful ways. xo to you and yours.

36 Blanche { 10.31.09 at 3:13 pm }

I’m sorry for your loss. How wonderful you had such a connection to be able to speak to her one last time.

37 Star { 10.31.09 at 3:18 pm }

What a beautiful and fitting tribute to the life of your grandmother. You were so lucky to have her in your life (as she was to have you).

38 Sunny { 10.31.09 at 3:24 pm }

Prayers for your grandmother, you, and your family. She sounds like such a lovely woman.

39 Half of a Duo, Raising a Duo { 10.31.09 at 3:36 pm }

Mel I am so terribly sorry about your grandma. What a lovely, funny, incredible tribute. She is a part of you… and you definitely take after her!

40 Anna { 10.31.09 at 4:02 pm }

She sounds like a wonderful woman and how amazing to have such a vital connection with your grandma. Thanks for the story and I’m also sorry that she has gone.

41 IF Crossroads { 10.31.09 at 4:02 pm }


From reading this, it sounds like you and your grandma had a very special bond. I can only imagine it’s why you felt a connection when she passed and your love for her is quite evident in your reading for her funeral.
What a sassy and fantastic woman! I loved reading this story and I’m sure it’s a fantastic example of your grandmas character and personality.
My condolences are with you and your family. The world lost someone very special last night.

42 Lut C. { 10.31.09 at 4:11 pm }

I’m sorry for your loss, Mel.

43 staciet { 10.31.09 at 4:17 pm }

I am so sorry for your loss, Mel. Sending love your way.

Your grandma had a beautiful sparkle to her. You have that sparkle, so now we know you come by it naturally! I bet she was the kind of woman to light up a room. What a wonderful influence to have in your life.

44 Road Blocks and Roller Coasters { 10.31.09 at 4:29 pm }

Thank you for sharing such a heartwarming memory–it made me think of my own grandmother who I lost 10 years ago. I’m so sorry for your loss, Mel. ((many hugs))

45 Elizabeth { 10.31.09 at 4:29 pm }

Someday, I hope to be such a strong, beautiful woman!

46 A.M.S. { 10.31.09 at 4:32 pm }

Abiding with you.

47 donna { 10.31.09 at 4:36 pm }

So sorry for your loss.

48 Jendeis { 10.31.09 at 4:36 pm }

Baruch dayan ha’emet. May her memory be for a blessing. I’m so sorry for your loss, sweetie.

49 Heidi { 10.31.09 at 4:41 pm }

I am so very sorry for your family’s loss. I wish there were more women in the world like your grandmother.

Much love and warm hugs

50 Leah { 10.31.09 at 5:10 pm }

I’m so sorry for your loss. She sounds like just the type of lady that I would really like. 🙂

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author