Random header image... Refresh for more!

Poking, Nudging, and Whining

children mentioned…

After four years of carefully keeping toy guns and visuals out of the house, my hard work was undone by the other children at school. It turns out that the Wolvog has learned to make a gun out of Legos and has been shooting at his sister which “hurts her feelings.” We had a lecture last weekend about why this isn’t acceptable.

“We are wholly anti-gun in this house. Your dad and I walked in the Million Mom March. If we weren’t such observant Jews, we’d be Quaker. Quaker! I am really really upset by this. We are pacifists in this house. Do you understand what this mean?” I asked them.

“Yes,” they both answered without pause.

“What does it mean?” I asked. “What does it mean to be a pacifist?”

“It means,” the ChickieNob told me coolly and confidently, “that we tease and annoy.”

“No,” said Josh. “That’s what it means to be a vegan. Pacifism is totally different.”


1 areyoukiddingme { 01.22.09 at 7:29 am }

I’m sorry, but sometimes, you just have to shoot your sister, probably because of her definition of being a pacifist.

2 loribeth { 01.22.09 at 7:35 am }

Oh my gosh, too funny. I think most kids go through a gun play stage, no matter how desperately we try to shield them from guns & violence, if only in the media. There is a picture somewhere at my Mom's of me wearing a crinoline (it WAS the early 1960s…!) & toting the toy rifle I had desperately wanted & finally received for my 3rd birthday. My mom says I loved watching "The Rifleman" with Chuck Connors on TV, & begged for a rifle (!!! I don't remember the show at all, although I do remember the rifle). And I'm totally anti-gun these days, so perhaps there's hope for the twins. ; )

3 Delenn { 01.22.09 at 7:51 am }

I love their definitions! I totally get you on the anti-gun thing. That happened to us too–he came home and made a Lego gun. I amended my policy then-as long as it doesn’t look like a “real” gun (i.e. its a light saber, laser gun, lego gun, etc.) then it is a-okay.

4 Tash { 01.22.09 at 8:07 am }


Not for nothing, and I am technically nothing, this is a big reason we’re contemplating Quaker schools over secular ones. Star Wars these days is marketed to the K (and even preK!) crowd and I remember standing in line to see that when I was 10. I think that’s more acceptable. When Bella even says the word “gun” I ask where she heard that. And I fear this is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg regarding crap she brings home from school.

5 Mrs. Higrens { 01.22.09 at 8:08 am }

I may be on the opposite side of the fence here in thinking that guns are not evil by definition. It’s what’s done with them that’s evil.

One solution to this seemingly universal issue is to allow gun play but not allow the “gun” to be pointed at a person (or animal) – regardless of the composition of the “gun”.

And of course, it doesn’t hurt for everyone to be taught to respect guns and other weapons, regardless of your feelings regarding them, as you never know where one will show up these days.

6 N { 01.22.09 at 8:23 am }

On the serious front — ooof. And yeah, when I think about schools (you know, for our future potential children), Quaker schools are definitely high up there for some of those reasons.

On the not serious front — oh, I’m laughing so hard. At all three of your kids.

7 Kristin { 01.22.09 at 8:32 am }

Very funny. Kids will learn to make guns no matter what you do. I think its inevitable.

I totally agree with Mrs. Higrens. And, even if you are anti-gun, it is super important to educate your kids about how to react if they ever find one. They turn up in the damnedest places.

8 Emmy { 01.22.09 at 8:50 am }

I don’t get boys and their toy guns! My nephew can make a gun out of blocks in under a minute. Aye!

9 Road Blocks and Roller Coasters { 01.22.09 at 9:15 am }

That is just too funny. Thank you for brightening my day! πŸ™‚

10 Anonymous { 01.22.09 at 9:16 am }

I know you said you don’t like guns. However turn it into a positive by talking about the people who help us that use guns. You may never be able to eradicate guns now that they have been introduced. Take a bad thing and put a positive spin on it, by explaining about police officers only using their gun when they need to.
Just an idea.

11 ms.bri { 01.22.09 at 9:33 am }

Taught at a Quaker school for years. Was a Quaker for years. Quaker kids make lego guns, too. Quaker school kids still shoot each other with guns made from fingers, sandwiches, library books, etc. I couldn’t be more anti-gun but I am not sure it is avoidable unless they live in a cave. I hate that but there you go.

With GMB, we didn’t allow any guns, then relaxed on water guns. We fought him on swords and other weapons and gave in to an epic tantrum at Disney over a pirate sword. Three hours later, he was playing and accidentally knocked my husband in the back HARD and it hurt and my husband yelped LOUD. And GMB (age 8 at the time) was so terrified by having hurt someone that we didn’t see a lot of crazy sword play after that. Sometimes natural consequences really work out.

12 April { 01.22.09 at 9:47 am }

kids are better than TV sometimes πŸ™‚

13 Cara { 01.22.09 at 10:13 am }

Mel – I can’t wait to see your kids personalities and sense of humor in…say….about 8 years.

Ha! It will one hysterical debate after another about…who knows what?

Rock on with your proofreading you published author you!

(PS- the verification word is “woringer”, does that reflect your mood?)

14 Karen { 01.22.09 at 11:26 am }


15 kate { 01.22.09 at 11:38 am }

Oh, dude. Josh just won my friendship for life. That is too. dang. funny.

Yes, those vegans- they tease and annoy…

16 Dora { 01.22.09 at 12:54 pm }

Hilarious! I just made a very large snort sound trying to contain my laughter while reading that at work. ChickieNob is so your daughter! Awesome comeback from Josh.

17 Sarah { 01.22.09 at 1:30 pm }


but seriously, my friends with 4 yo boys are all going through this. i really think it’s start wars, even if they don’t see it they hear about it from older kids. the gun fascination is so scary, you can see how accidents happen if they happen to be at a house where there is a gun. stick with the quakers.

18 annacyclopedia { 01.22.09 at 1:47 pm }

Can I please join your family? You’re awesome, every one of you.

19 Kristin { 01.22.09 at 1:54 pm }

I tagged you on my blog!

20 Emily { 01.22.09 at 1:57 pm }

Thanks for the smiles πŸ™‚

21 LJ { 01.22.09 at 3:15 pm }

That’s freakin’ awesome.

22 *T* { 01.22.09 at 4:42 pm }

Great story!

23 Michelle { 01.22.09 at 5:56 pm }

LOL almost that same thing happened with my sister. She wanted no guns and then she had to send the kids to a new daycare and guess what the kids there play with…guns. Nice daycare huh?

24 caitsmom { 01.22.09 at 6:28 pm }

Thank you. That’s the best laugh I’ve had all day, and now I’m off to tease and annoy. Peace.

25 Robert { 01.22.09 at 6:32 pm }

FWIW, Nixon was a Quaker.

26 Hillary { 01.22.09 at 7:29 pm }

lol that was such a fun story!! Thanks for sharing πŸ™‚

27 Jen { 01.22.09 at 7:33 pm }

That is a delightful story.

28 Andrea { 01.22.09 at 8:07 pm }

Your kids are hysterical! LMAO.


29 Cassandra { 01.22.09 at 8:10 pm }

The 22-month-old who attended my holiday party got into big trouble when he turned a long blue block of wood into a gun. Where did the block come from, you ask? It was the base of the chanukiah puzzle that I loaned him.

(The trouble occurred when he pretended to shoot me and I fell down writhing on the floor. His mom got mad at him, but not me — it’s my party, I’ll die if I want to.)

30 bleu { 01.22.09 at 10:35 pm }

This is a hard one. And honestly one reason why I homeschool. It is also a reason I am leaving this country, my pacifism is very important to me.

Anyhow with Bliss, at 6 he was allowed his first sword, it is a nerf sword and also a light saber, but yes it creeps in. Then I worry if I am too anti every weapon it will backfire and he will go opposite. SO I feel for you, it is so hard.

31 luna { 01.23.09 at 1:38 am }

that josh is hiLARIous!

32 Amy/Anat { 01.23.09 at 4:46 pm }

Can I marry someone half as funny as your husband?

33 The Steadfast Warrior { 01.23.09 at 8:10 pm }

LOVE Josh’s response. Too funny! I can understand your hesitation over the weapon issue. But I agree with ppl that there is a balance where kids can learn respect for weapons and still believe in pacifism

34 Aurelia { 01.24.09 at 4:57 pm }

You’ll never stop them from playing guns or swords or what have you, BUT, you could tell them they can point the gun or sword at the bushes and trees to hunt imaginary things.

Just never people.

Just because forbidden fruit is so much tastier.

35 Bea { 01.26.09 at 8:53 pm }

Mr Bea and I just killed ourselves laughing.

That’s right – we are dead, and PB is an orphan, and it’s all your fault.

(I’m writing this from beyond the veil, obviously.)


(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
The contents of this website are protected by applicable copyright laws. All rights are reserved by the author