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I started to put all of this in the Roundup for tomorrow and then realized that it was growing out of control and that you would be slogging through a post that was as long as today’s post. So…

BlogHer is next week and I’m going with computer in tow. Having never been there, I’m not sure how it actually works, but I have big dreams of actually writing blog posts live from the discussions. I’ve been collecting thoughts to use during the panel on this post over at BlogHer, but if you don’t want to sign into their site AND you want to give your thoughts SO they can be included in a panel discussion on infertility blogging…well…leave them on this post and I’ll collect them for the trip. But it would be muchly goodly if you left those comments over there because…um…I have something I want you to leave here.

I know I’ll be able to check email and such, but I want to apologize in advance if it takes me forever to write back next week. I truly don’t know how anything is going to work so Lost & Found may be spotty and email returns may be spotty. Or, I may go insane with the posting because I’m holed up like a little nerd in the Internet cafe, trying to avoid being social until Lori drags me out by my hair.

May I admit something here without embarrassing myself too much? At our last TOOTPU (The Order of the Plastic Uterus) meeting, which contained more alcohol than food and Sunny assessing which type of bra would be better for my boobage (I know–she is tying Allison in giving me bra advice), I took a photograph of all of my girls towards the end of the meal. And I’ve placed the photo on my palm pilot so I can carry it with me wherever I go at the conference. It is like literally taking my girls with me in my pocket. And you guys–all of you–are my girls (and I guess Smarshy is my man-pie, but he doesn’t update regularly so…). They’re my local girls and you’re my global girls and I want to bring a piece of all of you to place on the panel table so I can feel like you’re there too.

If no one responds to this post, I will simply print out the blogroll and place my sheets of paper on the table like a little loser to look at while I speak and think about all of you in the computer. But, if you would be so kind to send us off with some good thoughts, please place them below in the comments and I will print out these nice words instead and place them on the table (and if there is no table in front of us, I will stuff the wad of papers in my sucky bra). You can leave things you want to make sure we convey or words of advice about public speaking or reminders to go to the bathroom before the panel begins. Or simply good wishes for a safe trip and a good panel and stories when we return. Your choice. But I would like to bring a thought from everyone to place on our panel table.

I don’t know how many others are going to BlogHer or live in the area and want to get together, but I’ll throw out a few times and see what works best for the majority (I guess respond in the comment section too so others can see what you’ve said and see who is going). Friday: 10:30–12:45 (grab coffee? lunch?) or something after 6 pm (dinner? dessert?). If it’s a lot of people, we may want to go simple. Saturday: 1:45–3, I was going to take off some time before the panel. We could also get together then if you’re going to the panel. Or at the closing reception (we’ll be there for a bit before we have to run and catch the plane). Or suggest another time?

And yes, I’ll be posting a picture of the panel table with your loving words spread out on it when I return.


1 bleu { 07.10.08 at 7:43 pm }

I hope your flight is filled with peaceful sleep, or at least peace. I hope your trip is filled with laughter and love. I hope we get to meet up.

Much love to you my friend, much much much love.

2 dmarie { 07.10.08 at 8:21 pm }

Safe travels and thank you for representing our community with such strength and bravery.

3 Kymberli { 07.10.08 at 8:39 pm }

Travel safely, have fun, come back and tell us lots of stories that are so good that we feel like we were there.

If you get the willies, just imagine that the audience is us, linking hands in a round of Kumbayah. Better yet, imagine that it was all of us properly liquored up raising our glasses (or bottles, whatever works) to you.

Represent, homegirl!

4 sharah { 07.10.08 at 9:17 pm }

Have a safe trip! And may I completely endorse Wacoal bras as the best ones I’ve ever worn? They are TOTALLY worth the money.

5 Hope2morrow { 07.10.08 at 9:22 pm }

Safe travels, dear! Thank you being such a central and focal part of our IF blogging community. You are the glue that binds us, the string around our finger, the pep in our step, the whipped cream on our hot chocolate, and the motor of our engine (literally)!

Continue doing what you do- we adore you and your mighty mind!

6 Skerry { 07.10.08 at 9:26 pm }

No advice, but plenty of warm wishes for a safe trip and an enlightening and educational conference.

7 Skerry { 07.10.08 at 9:27 pm }

No advice, but plenty of warm wishes for a safe trip and an enlightening and educational conference.

8 Heather J. { 07.10.08 at 9:28 pm }

I know you’ll have a BLAST – I wish I was there with you. šŸ™‚ Enjoy!

9 Lyrehca { 07.10.08 at 9:34 pm }

Safe travels and you will have an awesome time. Thanks for everything you do. I’m exhausted just thinking about it all.

10 Jess { 07.10.08 at 9:47 pm }

Go Mel, it’s your birthday…gonna party like it’s your birthday, drink bacardi like it’s…


Not the lushery, BLOGHER. Sorry!

Have a safe and fun trip!! You’re a gem, and we LURVE you. You do so much for furthering the spread of the InfertileWord. šŸ™‚

Can’t wait to hear all about it!

11 Pbugs Mommy { 07.10.08 at 9:58 pm }

Wow. What an awesome thing to be a part of. You are DA BOMB DIGGITY!!! We love you and can’t wait to hear about it. Have loads of fun!

12 luna { 07.10.08 at 11:08 pm }

You are all going to rock BlogHer — I have NO doubt whatsoever that you will all be SO awesome, bringing heart and wisdom to a whole new world. If you’re nervous before speaking, don’t forget to BREATHE, and take it slow. The first few sentences are the hardest. Remember you KNOW your stuff and speak from the heart. You have absolutely nothing to fear. You will be among friends. We’ve all got your back.

Now, all I have to say is I will be there to wish you well in person!!! Hooray!!! I’m still trying to get into the panel though… (Anyone have a pass to SELL??? I missed registration!)

Any and all of those times work for me, just let me know.

Oh, and I second Sharah on the Wacoals for the big boobage…

13 Duchess { 07.11.08 at 12:48 am }

WOW! What a cool thing to be part of – I have always wanted to go. I wish you the best of luck and remember whether it is in a treatment room a coffee shop or a fancy conference, we are all there behind you (and each other)for the long haul.

Also you rock on a daily basis, just make sure you have fun.
and cocktails…

14 Sassy { 07.11.08 at 1:17 am }

You’re going to have such a great time. There’s no need to be nervous. You’ll blow them away, just wait and see. If you start to feel nervous or intimidated just remember how many women are standing behind you. šŸ™‚

15 VA Blondie { 07.11.08 at 3:54 am }

I hope your flight is smooth and your journey is safe.

Thanks for representing us infertiles at BlogHer. You totally rock! Good luck with the panel!

16 jenn { 07.11.08 at 5:06 am }

Thank you for doing this for all of us, for being our strong clear voice! I hope your trip is good & fruitful & if you get nervous justthink of all of us back her cheering you on!

Or picture everyone in the audience in their skivvies… whichever works for you!

17 Leah { 07.11.08 at 5:29 am }

Good luck, knock ’em dead, break a leg, all that stuff. You don’t need any of it because, despite what your crazed I-am-socially-awkward-and-didn’t-have-enough-friends-in-school self thinks, you are truly, truly fabulous. A rare gem of a woman that I feel privledged to know and call a friend. Oh, and it’s a triple bonus that I get to call you Snatch. šŸ™‚

You will represent us beautifully at BlogHer and we will all definitely be there with you in spirit.

18 Isn't it pretty to think so { 07.11.08 at 5:37 am }

Have a wonderful time. I can’t wait until everyone there realizes how fantastic you all are and how LUCKY we are to all be a part of this community. Have fun!

19 emilythehopeless { 07.11.08 at 5:54 am }

i just wanted to say thank you for being such an important advocate for us! šŸ™‚

20 Sunny { 07.11.08 at 5:56 am }

Hey sweets! (3rd attempt, it keeps deleting itself!) You never cease to surprise me. I totally forgot about the bra conversation. Your girls are going to look fabulous!

I am so proud of you. You are going to rock this. I can just see you now. You will listen and gather it all in. Then you will formulate a perfect response or feedback. Finally the smile! BUT if you start to think you can’t do it just picture us smiling and laughing with you!

I have NO doubt, YOU ROCK! I can’t wait to hear all about it. Oh and if you need some courage, liquid courage is my advice. You can borrow my Barbie pink flask!

21 ms. c { 07.11.08 at 6:05 am }

Are you the type of person that has dreams about showing up naked before you have a big day? I hope not, but if you do, don’t worry… it’s just a dream, and I’m sure you’ll show up at the panel with clothes on.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart and the top of my uterus for representing our community. You are amazing, and you do amazing things. Enjoy your trip. I can’t wait to hear all about it.

22 loribeth { 07.11.08 at 6:17 am }

Can I just say that I am SO JEALOUS???!! I wish, wish, wish that I could be there to meet all of you & join in the fun. But I can’t think of a better panel to represent our community. Have a great trip, Mel! I’ll be waiting (im)patiently to hear all about it!

23 Shelli { 07.11.08 at 6:28 am }

So jealous that I can’t be there too, but I know you will represent us well.

Have fun!!!

24 Heidi { 07.11.08 at 6:32 am }

I have no advice to give, but had a question…will your name tag read lollipop, or mel???

Good luck, I know you will do wonderfully. Your words have helped so many out here, and they will continue to do so.

Thank you!!!!

25 B { 07.11.08 at 7:03 am }

Love from Sydney too.

26 Ally { 07.11.08 at 7:39 am }

Have a wonderful trip and safe travels! Thank you for going and representing us-we couldn’t have a better representative for all our faces and stories. Enjoy yourself, my dear! We’ll be anxious to hear all about it!

27 Sherry { 07.11.08 at 7:45 am }

I will leave you with a tip from my favorite public speaking coach. If you get nervous – “go to the balcony.” In other words, look to the back, over everyone’s heads. People more than a couple rows back can’t see if you’re not making direct eye contact anyhow. So you’re speaking to the balcony, not the people and allegedly it makes you less nervous.

That being said, I think you are so out-of-this-world-fabulous-and-smashing that you will be awesome no matter what!

Any hope of getting the panel on YouTube? šŸ™‚

28 BethH6703 { 07.11.08 at 7:46 am }

I’m confused about where I should post and what I’m supposed to say and why and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

So instead, I simply wish you safe travels, lovely cocktails, and many many good times!

And I wish for us lots of pictures and good stories when you all return!

And, to be silly & goofy about it, I request the 4 of you panelists have a grand ol’ group hug from me! Bra discussions… hell, bras themselves, are optional! Drinks, however, are not!!

29 MamaSoon { 07.11.08 at 7:51 am }

Have an amazing time. I know you will. And thank you for being the fabulous and very, very, very generous person that you are. What you have given to the IF community is beyond measure.

30 Searching { 07.11.08 at 8:04 am }

Bah, it ate my comment!

Basically, thank you for all you do, we love you tons, and are proud to have you in our corner. We’ll be behind you the whole way, so have a wonderful time!!

You have my prayers for a safe trip and for a standing house upon your return.

31 Jendeis { 07.11.08 at 8:16 am }

Adding my good wishes to the cast of thousands who love you and wish you peace and luck on this trip and in the panels.

1) When asked a question, don’t answer immediately. Pause, take a breath and then answer. It allows you to formulate an answer without using “um” or “like” and you’ll speak more slowly when you do answer.

2) Remember to breathe. Wax on, wax off. Paint the house. Sand da floor.

3) You are a corned beef rock star. Wear your invisible sunglasses and know that you rock!

32 SAHW { 07.11.08 at 8:21 am }

Have a wonderful trip and a great time at BlogHer! I’m so happy this panel is happening, it’s so needed right now.

I’m sure they’ll give you a glass of water before you speak, but just in case, I always like to have water with me when I am speaking in front of others, b/c I get really thirsty when I’m nervous.

Hope all goes well, and looking forward to hearing about it when you get back.

33 serenity { 07.11.08 at 8:34 am }

Safe travels. And thank you for representing our community, Mel.

So go kick some ass, ok? šŸ™‚

Love and hugs and some ass-kicking vibes coming your way.


34 andrea_jennine { 07.11.08 at 8:59 am }

Thanks for representing ALI at BlogHer!

Answering your questions from the BlogHer post here (against wishes, I know, but I’ll try to be brief):
1) to keep a record of my experiences and to keep friends and family updated (we’re just as open about IF in real life as we are on the blog)
2) because I was helped so much to read the words of other women going through this, and I wanted to participate and contribute
3) to offer a slightly different voice in the IF blogging community; at first I was afraid to be “different” due to my faith, but then I realized that I could add a new and maybe helpful perspective

35 momofonefornow { 07.11.08 at 9:02 am }

So, I just finished my stupid public speaking class and the best advice that I can offer you is to have really good notes. I don’t care what anyone else says, full sentence notes are the way to go, just remember to glance up a bunch. :0)

Also, just pretend the audience is your laptop and you are writing/speaking one of your rockin’ posts and you will do FANTASTICALLY well!

36 Betty M { 07.11.08 at 9:08 am }

Have a great time (and a great flight there and back). You will be a great representative for this community.

37 annacyclopedia { 07.11.08 at 9:23 am }

Thank you for spreading the word and representing our community so brilliantly and with such compassion and wisdom. I wish I could be there with you for real!

38 Jen { 07.11.08 at 9:23 am }

I hope you have a wonderful time! (And I know you will.) I’ll be there with you in spirit, wishing I was there in person!

(P.S. Want me to do Lost and Found for you while you are gone? If we can work out how?)

39 Heather { 07.11.08 at 9:32 am }

Definitely use the rest room before so you can use the facilities BUT you should also check your teeth for stray food bits and/or lipstick. And your hair, you don’t want to have a piece sticking straight up – well, unless it should look that way.

Also, have some water with you in case your mouth goes dry.


Have fun and good luck! Best wishes, lots of love, and jealousy that I’m not there!

40 Lisa { 07.11.08 at 9:35 am }

Have a wonderful, wonderful time spreading the important message of this community with the knowledge that you have been one of the driving forces in making this collection of little homes into the thriving, growing, and supportive community that it is!!

41 Ms Heathen { 07.11.08 at 10:27 am }

Wishing you well at the conference, Mel.

I think it is so important that the infertile community has a voice at BlogHer, and I know that you and the other speakers on the panel will do a fantastic job at representing our viewpoint.

My advice on presenting a paper – slow down! When we’re nervous, we tend to gabble. Take plenty of pauses to allow your audience the chance to take in what you’re saying.

Good luck, and have fun! I can’t wait to hear all about how you got on.

42 Samantha { 07.11.08 at 10:31 am }

Have a great time at Blogher! I can’t think of a better representative for the IF blogging community!

43 calliope { 07.11.08 at 10:41 am }

Safe travels! I hope you have a blast. I feel like you are our ambassador that we are sending out to the United Nations. Here’s to hoping that nothing gets lost in translation. Also- feel free to make sure the peoples know that OUR corner of the blogosphere is the best. For real.
Can’t wait for updates!!!

44 r_is_moody { 07.11.08 at 10:59 am }

I can’t think of a better person to represent us.

I hope you have a great time and all goes well!!

Can’t wait to hear some great stories!

45 midlife mommy { 07.11.08 at 11:33 am }

Oh no! Please don’t feel like a loser. I have nothing helpful to say, other than have fun!

46 InfertileMadWoman { 07.11.08 at 12:18 pm }

Have Fun Lolli!!!

Represent Girl!!!

Take it easy out there!!


47 Arian { 07.11.08 at 1:28 pm }

I hope you have a great time! I hope you learn and share lots! If you get nervous just picture Foghorn Leghorn in a bright red g-string dancing and singing “Sha…sha…I say shake it for me mama!” Should break the ice a bit!
Have fun!!!!

48 JamieD { 07.11.08 at 2:00 pm }

I hope you have a safe journey and enjoy BlogHer immensly!!

Thank you for all you do to represent our corner of the universe. As we all know, IF can be a lonely corner but you are our voice!! Thank you for the community you help hold together and we are supporting you in spirit.

Now take Jendeis’ advice and put on your invisible sunglasses!!

49 Feliz Dianne Flutter { 07.11.08 at 2:14 pm }

May the trip be peaceful, productive, and fullfilling.

Also, may G-d grant you the right words for every one present to listen and accept into their hearts.

Wishing you and the others much luck as well.

50 millie { 07.11.08 at 2:22 pm }

I will be heckling from the audience.

Just kidding but I will be there in person (and no, luna, you can’t have my pass šŸ˜‰ ) and hoping to meet up with you guys before, during or after. I’ll only be there on Saturday but live very nearby.

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