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It's a Good Old-Fashioned Drink and Vote

What says “award ceremony” more than flavoured vodka? And what livens up a voting session more than a little invisible cocktail? It is time to vote for your favourites for the first ALIes (adoption/loss/infertility awards). And it’s time to pull up a bar seat and let us know what has been happening in your life in between sips of a non-existent French martini. Before you cast your ballot, stick around and fill everyone in on your life. Winners will be announced two days from now on the Friday Blog Roundup. Which means that three days from now, the tabloid newspapers will be writing about your escapades with the B-list celebrities. You know, the ones we’re keeping under the bar.

So before you get sucked away from the site into voting…

As always, it has been a bit more than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. Pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. The good, the bad, the ugly. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while (or if this is your first open bar as someone who found this space through NaComLeavMo…which is now called IComLeavWe…), sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation back on this current post.

So have a cocktail and tell us what is up with your life and then come back up to the body of this post and scroll back to this space. Go ahead, let us know what’s up. Voting will wait for you.


Without further ado, the voting.

Polldaddy only allowed me to have 10 questions in a poll. Therefore, I have added the final question on the ballot below. Vote for the Celebrity of the Year:

And now you need to click below to fill out the other ten categories…

View Survey

The results will be announced during the Friday Blog Roundup.


1 Lori { 06.17.08 at 9:23 pm }

Can I stuff the ballot box for Jamie Lee Curtis?

Her books have a great message, and I love her in Freaky Friday.

Gimme that mojito, Mel-tender.

And come back over to my place tomorrow for trivia. Bring your friends!

2 Jess { 06.17.08 at 9:29 pm }

I’m with Lori and the ballot box stuffing. πŸ™‚

I’m going to take a mai tai, though. Rock on rocker.

3 Erin { 06.17.08 at 10:25 pm }

I’ll have anything alcoholic–a large margarita on the rocks sounds good. This unexpected/unknown pregnancy-turned-miscarriage is messing me up WAY more than I’d expected.

But life with two kids continues to get better and better (tonight notwithstanding), so the margarita has a double meaning.

4 Kymberli { 06.17.08 at 10:30 pm }

Sex on the Beach for me, and keep ’em coming, please. Since the last time I bellied up to the bar, I had a transfer, positive tests, good betas, crappy betas, worse betas, stopped meds, and now I’m in the middle of a m/c (I’m a gestational surrogate, for those who don’t know.) Maybe I’ll have a Long Island Iced Tea, too.

In brighter news, today (June 18) is 7 years since the end of my personal battle with IF; my twins’ bday is today.

5 nancy { 06.17.08 at 10:57 pm }

I voted for the categories I could vote in … I have a thing where I can only vote if I know of ALL the options. I personally find it unfair if I only know 3 out of the 4 and I vote. Who’s to say the one I didn’t know didn’t deserve to win? (i’m babbling a lot tonight, don’t mind me!)

Bah-tender … give me a shirley temple. I’ll have to save my guinness for sometime after January of next year, after I have a nice supply of frozen milk in the deep freeze!

What’s going on in my life? I’m trying to enjoy time OFF of the roller coaster. It took so many ups and downs to get here, I’m hoping the ride has stopped and I’m free to walk around the amusement park while I gestate. I’m a little terrified I’m simply on one of those huge UPS of a roller coaster. I don’t want to come crashing down anytime soon. Or even later.

6 Mary { 06.17.08 at 10:57 pm }

Ok Mel, it’s been a while. I had no news to share until last Friday when I got a call which gave me something I haven’t had in a long time… HOPE. Even though we are still #5 on the donor embryo list embryos became available that they thought were a good match for us and we jumped the line. Just so happened that I got the call and AF right around the same time, so I’ve started meds and if all goes well we transfer July 11th. We had just decided to pursue foster to adopt before we got the call we thought would never come, so we are quickly changing tracks and the ride is spinning quickly. We are hoping and praying that #7 will be our lucky number. I’ll take a mind numbing drink to help me forget that I am scared to death, but hopeful.

7 Portia P { 06.18.08 at 2:15 am }

With my pre-cycle run-up and subsequent success, I haven’t so much as sniffed a drop of the hard stuff since January 3rd – not that i’m counting or anything!

No complaints- obviously – but I fancy something exciting, perhaps a Virgin Mojito or a fancy concoction of different juices topped off with a cherry and big slice of fruit.

Hope it calms my nerves for my anomaly scan on Friday…

Voted for Emma Thompson – had to go for the English chick. She’s been so open about her IVF she’s a great role model and must have had some hard times with it. She has the MOST gorgeous husband – and as they live near me i’ve got to ogle him more than once xx

8 Still Standing Strong in A Bloom of Hope. { 06.18.08 at 3:35 am }

Ok, Mel, give me the best concoction to stay “sober” & “sane” for an Infertile in her

Removed my endo, ovarian cysts, fibroids and polyps about 3 weeks ago. Was given 2 options – Clomid for 2 months and if it doesn’t work out, IVF thereafter or IVF immediately. I chose Clomid cuz i was tired of the needles, invasive tests and what’s not. I needed a break to “find” myself again.

And now I am on my 1ww.

Ok, guys, if Mel needs help with serving drinks, I’m helping and I’ll offer drinks from my lonely & insane bar to those in their 1ww!


9 My name is Andy. { 06.18.08 at 5:22 am }

Pass the martininis my way! I’m having an adoption sucks week, specifically MY adoption, not my sons! My story is one more that you can add to the books about why open adoption is so important for the ADOPTEES!!

I think I need another martini, got any gherkins barkeep?

10 Cece { 06.18.08 at 6:26 am }

Gin and tonic. 2 more days until my 16 week OB checkup – do we ever relax?

11 loribeth { 06.18.08 at 6:33 am }

I’ll have my usual frozen margarita, out on the patio, please, & make it a jumbo. I found out recently that the childless living message board that I turned to for support seven years ago, after deciding not to continue IF treatment, is being shut down. Not many people post there anymore, but the posts are well read, so someone is obviously finding the topic of interest. The kicker is the Powers That Be have suggested we can post on their Childfree by Choice board instead. ARGH!!! (Further details on my blog.)

12 Jill { 06.18.08 at 6:51 am }

It’s before 10am, so I’ll take an irish coffee, please.

I’m having a bit of a hard time today. Sometimes I wonder how many people can announce their pregnancies before I’ll break….

13 RM { 06.18.08 at 6:51 am }

Hello there, bartender. I’ll have a Miller Lite please.

Going to my RE today for a baseline u/s. We’ve decided to do IUI with injectables this month. Just typing that scared the shit out of me. I haven’t even posted about it on my own blog yet because I was too nervous to type it!

Given that I’ve had 3 m/cs, I never thought we’d have to go the IUI or IVF route. But BFNs these past two months while doing my Lovenox injections has got me ready to step this up a notch. This is month 18 of trying to make a living baby, so I can’t really say I’m “impatient”.

Oh, and did I mention we’re going to an adoption seminar on Saturday? This is a big week for us…

14 Mrs. Higrens { 06.18.08 at 7:02 am }

How about a Pina Colada? I want something sweet and fruity that will sneak up and knock me out before I know it.

Currently on Day 30 of a 150mg Clomid cycle. If this didn’t work the next option are “shots.” Need to get more info on that from the RE (I was in Wal-Mart when he called back – I know, evil – and didn’t want neighbors to overhear the conversation).

Haven’t peed on a stick yet, and don’t think I will this time as my temps are falling. Sigh. Guess I’ll be calling the RE tomorrow to start the next adventure.

15 Trace { 06.18.08 at 7:12 am }

Love me some wine!

I’m gearing up for my first IVF. Next week I begin the meds and I’m scared to have hope.

16 BethH6703 { 06.18.08 at 7:27 am }

I’ll take a French Whore (or 12) please! Not only is it fun to drink, but it’s fun to order, too!

My bitch for the month…. The holding pattern is suck suck SUCKY. No news in my land is, well – no news. Had Lupron shot #2 this week, can start my estrogen ad-back at the end of the month (buh-bye hot flashes, I hope!), and then have the follow up with Dr N on 7/8. That’s *hopefully* when we’ll find out how long for Lurpon, and what comes after it.

*gulp* pour me another, please!

17 Kathy V { 06.18.08 at 7:33 am }

Well after the miscarriage and being anovulatory I wondered if we would ever get here. Failed clomid cycles that resulted in ovarian cysts. We have made it to 19 weeks with this little one and it has taken to pummleing me on the inside. So send over a strawberry daiquiri or two or three.

18 Amy { 06.18.08 at 8:08 am }

Amaretto Sour please…I know, it’s a foo foo drink, but I like it. And since I have an IVF cycle coming up in July (my 2nd) I need all the booze I can get. My first cycle last year was a complete disaster.

19 andrea_jennine { 06.18.08 at 8:42 am }

I’ll take anything to knock me out until the point when: A) the results are in from IUI #6 (#2 since we reverted from IVF back to IUI), in which sperm counts were almost bad enough to cancel the IUI, so I’m not feeling too hopeful; and B) the dadgum seller of the house we’re trying to buy decides whether or not she wants to work with us on the repairs that need to be done.

20 SarahSews { 06.18.08 at 8:48 am }

I’ll have a really really cold shiner bock beer please. I crave it so much!

Things here are in a really weird place. It’s a waiting place but it’s the best waiting place I’ve ever been. We are counting down the days until we meet our son. I’ll be full term on Friday (holy crap!) and he can come any day between now and the fourth of July. If he isn’t here before the fireworks, I’ll be induced. I’m still in awe that this all happened to us and it is our turn after three long years of heartbreak.

21 serenity { 06.18.08 at 9:10 am }

Mojito please. A BIG one.

I’m quitting my job on Friday and I’m terrified. Excited because it means I get to stay home with Baby O until September. But terrified, because I’m paranoid that something big is going to happen (i.e. J’s truck is going to die) and we won’t be able to afford our bills. *sigh*

Cece – no, the worrying never ends. πŸ™‚

22 r_is_moody { 06.18.08 at 9:20 am }

Mel, I’ll have a mojito please. I haven’t had anything since January, but im not really complaining.

Life still feels like a dream. I can’t believe I am almost 20wks. There were so many times in the last 3 years that I thought this wouldn’t really happen.

Now I’m just trying to not worry and enjoy the rest of the ride until November.

23 Heather { 06.18.08 at 9:36 am }

I put in my votes. Now what’s up with me? I’ve been helping my RE afford a lavish lifestyle off an on for about 9 years. We have one seven-year-old daughter as a product of this commitment to reproduce with the good doctor’s help. I’ve been pregnant three times, and have had two miscarriages. This is our second round of working with the doctor to try to have a second child. We went back several years ago and gave up after awhile out of frustration. Now we’re trying to make a final stand to have another child. I know our family is not complete yet. So far this year, I’ve had laproscopic surgery for endometriosis in February and have had three ovulation induction/IUI cycles to no affect. We’re currently getting ready to start IVF. Wish me luck!!!

24 Andria and Co. { 06.18.08 at 12:14 pm }

Mmm… Amaretto Sour… That’s what I’ll have.

Ok. Let’s see. I have/had a daughter, who was a product of a assault. Single parent for years until I met my husband, Jason. We married… had three miscarriages. Diagnosed with secondary infertility. Many drugs and procedures later- was pregnant, with twins. Lost one. The other made it, and Blake was born in Nov. of 07.

Now, we are using the pull-and-pray method, because birth control just isn’t up our alley. I want to wait until Blake is at least a year old before attempting to get pregnant again. Last time around, I was on bedrest, meds, and was not myself. Actually, I was pretty frickin’ cuckoo. Seeing as how it took several years to get pregnant successfully last time, I’m wondering how long I should wait before attempting to try. Sigh.

25 calliope { 06.18.08 at 2:15 pm }

what do we do if there are dangling chads??

That was a very fancy voting system, Mel! Well done!!

I would like to raise my glass & propose a toast to any and all of our blog friends that were recently able to wed. Congrats!!

Counting down the days before the FET cycle and getting supper excited.

May I please have a giant vat of happy juice to keep me afloat until July?

26 The Town Criers { 06.18.08 at 3:12 pm }

Damn, Emma Thompson is kicking ass.

It’s a slow day at the bar. I’ve been doing a little blog cleaning, but I think I’ll sit down now.

What has happened this month…I feel like I am always running. Which I both enjoy and it leaves me exhausted. I want a vacation–a real vacation–with late lie-ins and beach reading. At the same time, I don’t want to leave home; fall even further behind.

It’s hard to want to be in two places at once.

Going back behind the bar now…

27 Amy { 06.18.08 at 4:41 pm }

I’d like a margarita on the rocks with salt please. πŸ™‚

Since our last bar visit, I’ve started charting again. That’s easier to say than to admit to trying again. Plus, school has ended and the summer of me has begun! Whoohoo!

28 armsforanangel { 06.18.08 at 6:12 pm }

I am too tired to think right now. I’m on the dawn of my first injection of my first donor egg cycle. I just recieved an email from some asshole that read, “Haha you can’t have babies.” WTF? I’m stuck in real estate hell. I’m closing on my old home and going out of state all in the same day during my cycle. Did I mention my head freaking hurts?

Vodka and Sprite pretty please?

29 Phoebe { 06.18.08 at 6:54 pm }

I’ll have a club soda with lime to down my anti-depressants, which I hope soon to be off of! Yeah, it was fun the first couple of weeks, but I’m more granola cruncher than pill popper. Though yaa gotta do what you gotta do to get through a rough patch. Just trying not to find a reason to the unanswerable “why did this happen?” and focus on feeling the grief under it all. IVF sucks.

30 annacyclopedia { 06.18.08 at 9:08 pm }

Ahhh, a drink. Since it’s fictional, I’ll have a whiskey sour. Double, if you please.

I’m going in for my 4th follicle scan of my second DI cycle tomorrow, and hope to trigger and do my first IUI sometime in the next few days. I just learned how to give myself injections yesterday, and I’m hoping we’ll then have 9 months to forget how to do them. Ah, me and hope. BFFs.

31 Meghan { 06.18.08 at 9:40 pm }

Thinking I’m up for some shots tonight, maybe tequila???

As for me, came back from a short little vacay to a ton of braxton hicks (but never enough to warrent a dr visit they say) and cramps and finding out from my dad that he has suddenly decided to divorce my mom and is moving 8 hrs away in 2 days. So I’m in a total whirlwind and REALLY could use a good drink

32 luna { 06.18.08 at 11:21 pm }

don’t you just love when you need a vacation from your vacation. hope you have some calm soon. and more cake, definitely more cake.

I’m going to have to go with lori on the mojito, if the bar’s still open. fresh mint is blooming everywhere and it’s been HOT. I am winding my way towards a new path, and could use the refresher…

33 nutsinmay { 06.19.08 at 1:26 am }

This weekend, I am going to have the first alcoholic drink I’ve had for nearly two months. It will be a gin and tonic. I will try very hard not to gulp it.

First week back at work after my miscarriage. Very tired. Several unexpected pregnancy announcements. I am very good and I made the happy face.

Tell you what, how about I have three gin and tonics?

34 Smiling { 06.19.08 at 4:39 am }

I’ll take a hot cranberry… as its freaking cold here in NZ and I’m trying to lay off the booze during this cycle of hope. Kindof funny that I’m in the middle of a roller coaster of 3 months of the pill, to a trcked cycle with no intervention, to the big guns – Donor eggs. I guess its a gradual ramping up of the odds.

Glad to be joining you all. I hear that i am better company now that I’m off that dreaded pill, everyone at work keeps asking why I am so ‘improved’ the last 10 days.


35 Shelby { 06.19.08 at 6:45 am }

I’ll have a mojito please!

Things have been good! Adjusting to going back to work after my leave has been hard but doable. Am amazed at how much can change in a year- one year ago this week, I was stimming for my first IVF.

36 Lisa { 06.19.08 at 8:42 pm }

I’ve seen the Lushary ad in the sidebar but never the actual event. I’m in tonight! I’d like a refreshing Cuba Libre (rum, juice of half a lime, and caffeineated Diet Coke) followed by a bracingly cold Bombay martini, heavy on the Bombay. I’ve got my last RE appointment tomorrow which includes a follow-up u/s from 2 weeks ago when the RE thought we had a smaller-than-ideal fetus and slower-than-ideal heartbeat. I have no reason to believe anything truly is wrong, but DH and I couldn’t coax a positive comment about the pregnancy to save our lives last time.

I’m thinking the two drinks will knock me out so I can at least sleep tonight — then tomorrow (TGIF) I can work on a way to just knock myself out until January, our presumed due date. Meanwhile, I’m having trouble blogging because I can’t quite grasp that I’ve joined “the other side.”

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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