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Door Ajar at the Virtual Lushary

What says good morning more than an ice cold, imaginary French martini?

And what says good afternoon more than some virtual vomiting in a luxurious invisible bathroom inside the Virtual Lushary?

I feel like I’ve been out of touch. Like everything is moving too quickly. Like I can’t absorb everything. I think I need to sit down today. I’ll be pouring drinks from the seated position. Maybe with my feet up too. So tell me about your life right now–what is happening–both good and bad.

So…as always… It has been a little more than a month since we met, bitched, cried, comforted, and caught up each other on our cycles and lives. As always, pull up a seat and I’ll pour you a drink. Let everyone know what is happening in your life. Maybe you just peed on a stick and you’re wondering if it’s too early or if it’s a sign of how the beta will go in a few days. Or maybe you just found out that you’re getting to cycle again soon. Or maybe you need a good cry to let out some of that stress you’ve been carrying as you wait for that first sonogram to confirm the pregnancy. My only request is that if a story catches your eye, you follow it back to the person’s blog and start reading their posts. Give some love, give some support, or laugh with someone until your drink comes out of your nose.

I have a ton of assvice in my back pocket and as a virtual bartender, I will give it to you unless you specifically tell me that this is simply a vent and you do not want to receive anything more than a hug.

So if you have been a lurker for a while, sit down and tell us about yourself. Remember to provide a link or a way for people to continue reading your story (or if you don’t have a blog–gasp!–you can always leave an email address if you’re looking for advice or support. If not, people can leave messages for that person here in the comments section too). If you’re a regular at the bar, I’ll get out your engraved martini glass while you make yourself comfortable. And anyone new, welcome. I’m glad you found this virtual bar.

For those who have no clue what I’m talking about when I say that the bar is open, click here to catch up and then jump into the conversation.

Drink specials this month for all stirrup queens or sperm palace jesters who are currently undergoing any form of waiting in honour of the second blilt. And…by strange coincidence since I just noticed it right now…the 4th book of the Barren Bitches Book TourWaiting for Daisy. Waiting. It’s freakin’ everywhere. And feel free while you’re hanging around the blog to send over a blilt square or sign up for the book tour… (and if you’re still finishing leaving comments as part of the tour, the list of participants is under this post if you scroll down).


1 Cece { 04.17.07 at 9:37 am }

Well – I just came back for the RE, and am gearing up for a July ER. We really can’t belive that we have had to go this route to get our babies… but after 2 years… I ready to make the leap. And, I’ve started my own IF blog – come over and say hi ( http://child-bearing-hips.blogspot.com/.

2 andrea_jennine { 04.17.07 at 9:14 am }

Goodness, am I the first? It’s just after 10 a.m. here, but surely that’s not too early for a virtual glass of Riesling. I’m in the middle of suppression for my first IVF. We just got our schedule yesterday, and I feel a little overwhelmed by all the meds on the list. I knew this would be a rigorous process from reading everyone’s blogs, but the schedule really made it hit home just how intense this will be!

Thanks for the drink, Mel.

3 Somewhat Ordinary { 04.17.07 at 9:19 am }

Boy, I need a drink today. I’m a Va. Tech alumni and I’m just devastated by this whole thing. It is unbelievable and while my quest for a child usually is first and foremost in my mind, over the last day I’ve cried for something totally unrelated to infertility (which was actually sort of refreshing). I’ve never been much of a crier and over the past 2 years it has all been centered around TTC. I have so many emotions about this thing. Mostly it makes me wonder about the world I am so desperatly trying to bring a child into!

4 Mary Ellen and Steve { 04.17.07 at 9:35 am }

I could definitely go for a lemon drop martini about now. But, first I want to express my condolences to somewhat ordinary. I can’t imagine how I would feel if such a travesty happened at my alma mater. My prayers are with the victims and their families. It certainly is a scary world out there.

We started stims on Monday for IVF/PGD #2 and I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. I feel it inching ever so close as my hubby has the flu and a high fever which is bad news for his already crappy sperm count. And now I have it too. Yee haw. Now how can my body focus on making those precious eggs when it is fighting the flu? Needless to say that I am not feeling overly optimistic at the moment.

My clinic says not to worry about his sperm but how can I not? Like it or not he has a doctor’s appt. at 2:45. I just hope it’s nothing serious.

Thanks for the martini!

5 DD { 04.17.07 at 9:37 am }

After my last post, a brain drain, I just have nothing left. I keep intending to call our clinic to let them know we have decided to move forward on another dIUI, but I’d much rather have them add our name to the DE list since it probably won’t work anyway.

I’m a vision of optimism. Bleh.

BTW, you won’t have to pour me a drink. I’m just going to settle in with my beer hat and some 7 month old PBR.

6 Nicole { 04.17.07 at 9:42 am }

Looks like I am in good company. Boy do I love you guys. I am saying that without even having had a drink yet. By the way, I will be needing a double today. Macallan 18, neat, please. Oh, and I have a big hug ready for somewhat ordinary when she is ready for it. I am awaiting AF, not so patiently. I don’t want to grieve the miscarriage anymore, but apparently my wants aren’t part of the equation in my life. So instead, I will continue to cry. I hate it when tears dilute my drink. I’ll just sit here and sip my drink while wondering where the hell I am in my cycle.

7 PCOSMama { 04.17.07 at 9:49 am }

I’m dragging butt today so I’ll have coffee…. I’d love a caramel latte if you have the tools to make it! Large please!
I’m currently waiting for my first ultrasound to reassure me everything is okay with this pregnancy. Our fourth IUI, the third on injectables, worked but my beta yesterday was a bit lower than I was expecting so I’m worried. And also feeling a little guilty, because it worked for me and there are so many others out there that have had to do so much more and are still trying to find something that will work. And I know from experience how hard it is to hear the good news from someone else when you are so immersed in your own stressful emotional journey. I’ve always felt different though when it was a fellow infertile. Call me shallow but I can be happy for them much more easily than for those who get pregnant easily! A success story always gave me hope.
There are a couple people who’ve been absent from my blog since I announced the good news and while it hurts to think they aren’t happy for me, I understand that they are hurting and need to do what is best for them during the long hard IF journey. I guess I just wasn’t expecting the withdrawal at a time when I was celebrating. I know, I’m selfish!
My thoughts are also with the family and friends of those who were killed in the tragedy yesterday. I was in complete shock when I saw the news yesterday and had thoughts similar to somewhat ordinary – what kind of world are we bringing these innocent babies into? And what can you do to protect them from this type of random violence? It’s crazy. And very scary.

8 PCOSMama { 04.17.07 at 9:53 am }

Mary Ellen and Steve – Just wanted to let you know that I was sick as a dog after my last IUI and was worried just like you, but surprisingly I’m pregnant. Apparently being sick during the 2 week wait can be a good thing! Oh, and my RE told me on the previous cycle (I was sick the day of the IUI that time) that as long as your fever isn’t over 102 it shouldn’t cause any problems with conceiving. Good luck!

9 Shelby { 04.17.07 at 9:57 am }

I’ll have a glass of red wine, maybe a nice cabernet.
Yesterday my hubby got his ultrasound done, and the tech said that she didn’t see anything out of the ordinary. He had his bloodwork done, and now we wait to see the Urologist next thursday, before finding out if there’s anything we can do to improve his count/morphology, or if we just jump into IVF.
Why is it that a week seems like an eternity sometimes?!

10 Furrow { 04.17.07 at 10:01 am }

Since this is a virtual bar, a Riesling sounds really delish. I’ve got some goat cheese in the fridge to go with it. Anybody want some?

I’ve also been thinking a lot today about VT, and about how the dangers never end for our children, even when we manage to get them safely born and on the road to adulthood. What can we do, though, except try to raise up good ones to outnumber, and perhaps even help, the troubled ones?

11 sariel & shlomit { 04.17.07 at 10:02 am }

count me in…my stomach is pretty upset between the met and the side effects of PIO (I think you know what I mean), i’ll stick with gingerale…

i’m feeling pretty blah today…the sparkle seems to have gone out of life for me…at least for now…i am 4 days away from my failed ivf/6th iui beta…and i’m not feeling too positive about it…i have decided that i HATE the 2nd week of the 2ww more than pretty much anything else…okay, slight exaggeration…i’m grumpy, krabby and given to severe bouts of self-pity…i’m enjoying hanging out here but feel i should have a toxic warning sign flashing over me or something!

thanks, mel…

12 sariel & shlomit { 04.17.07 at 10:03 am }

oh yeah..and i am kind of excited about one thing…sariel and i are going to see lucinda williams tonight…her hurting music ought to hit the spot!
(see, i’m not a total drag!)

13 Rachel { 04.17.07 at 10:05 am }

I am a nervous wreck. I am new around here, so I’ll give you a brief background. I miscarried on Feb. 25 after seeing my baby’s heartbeat. I took a hpt on Easter and it was positive. I go to the doctor tomorrow for labs to confirm the pregnancy. I now know seeing the heartbeat doesn’t mean I will deliver a healthy baby. I really want to be excited, but I am more scared than anything. I really haven’t had time to grieve my first loss fully yet.

14 The Town Criers { 04.17.07 at 10:15 am }

I love catching up with everyone and reading where everyone is. I’m coming out from behind the bar to have a drink during my lunch break.

So, a few days ago, I decided I would start temping again for a cycle or two to bring this info to the RE when we return to his office. Why? I’m not sure. We have a diagnosis, we’re sort of beyond the point of charting. Maybe it was simply because I felt like I wanted something in my hands that I give to him insofar as info is concerned since from the moment I jump back in his stirrups, all the information flows again from him to me. So I set out my lovely purple thermometer and put a cover on it to prepare for morning. Day one: I wake up and look at it and don’t take my temperature. Day two: I forget. Day three: I forget again. What does this mean? That I’m smart enough to know that one doesn’t wake themselves up early on purpose just to create a pretty chart when they know that the chart holds no useful information? That I’m freaked out about returning to the RE? That I know the moment that thermometer goes into my mouth I will become a crazy charting woman again (I continued to chart well into monitoring. What was the point?).


Okay, going back behind the bar to pour.

15 Jen T { 04.17.07 at 10:35 am }

A am a long-time lurker, but let me pull up a stool to the bar. I can’t even begin to convey how much confort and support everyone’s blogs have given me during the past year of various tests and treatments (TTC 2+ years). As an American (and a rather shy one at that) living in Paris, I often feel alone in our fertility struggles.

I am in the two week wait after my 1st IVF. 12 eggs retrieved last Thursday, only one fertilized. I had the lone embryo transferred on day 2 and beta scheduled for the 26th. Husband is being sent for more tests and ICIS on the cards for next time. I don’t know exact quality of the embryo – doctor only said it was “beau”. Needless to say, i’m not feeling very hopeful…

16 The Town Criers { 04.17.07 at 10:54 am }

Jen T–I couldn’t get to your blog from your sign-in (you’re not listed on blogger). So hopefully, you’ll check back here.

I’m sorry more didn’t fertilize. Though I’m still holding hope for you for this cycle–you did transfer one embryo and the RE said that it was “beau.” Beau…I wonder what grade that it 🙂 I’ll choose to believe that it means that the embryo looked perfect.

17 Elizabeth { 04.17.07 at 11:07 am }

I just need a couple tequila shots before I run off to class – good grief, it’s snowing again! Am in 2ww of first cycle on clmid; complete and utter lack of breast tenderness or soreness (dramatically different from the last 2 months, although those were both bfns) leads me to think it’s another wash.

Somewhat ordinary – put it all on my tab.

18 serenity { 04.17.07 at 11:10 am }

I’ll have a mojito, please – Bacardi rum with a squeeze of an extra lime.

Hugs to somewhat ordinary too. That kind of violence just is incomprehensible to me.

Same old, same old here. On Day 8 of Provera. Waiting for IF. Waiting for our second opinion consult in May. Maybe it’s the weather, but everything seems so grey. Monochromatic.

And on top of it, I got the cheery invitation to my SIL’s baby shower yesteday. I am going to be SO wonderfully happy to watch her open up gifts for a kid.


Anyone else sick of me complaining lately? I sure am.

So bartender… and commenters. Any recommendations for places to see in Florence and Rome? I’m thinking restaurants. Museums. Other sights.

19 TeamWinks { 04.17.07 at 11:27 am }

I could go for a tequila popper. You know, double shot glass, one shot of the good stuff, three quarters of a shot of seven up, and a dash of grenadine…yeah, that one. Oh, and keep ’em comin’ please.

Perhaps I’m just a bit on the nervous side of things. My lap is coming up soon (no date yet, but within the next two weeks. I’m pacing for final date confirmation from my RE’s office. They should be calling today.) My testing has yet to reveal anything encouraging, and waiting to find out what this next test will reveal is hell.

I know my lap won’t be like most women’s. When I wake up will he have reshaped my uterus? Did they remove something? There’s isn’t a book out there for proud owner of a bicornuate uterus. There’s nothing textbook about this.

This lap determines so much about my reproductive future. Today, just for today, I want to forget that this looms in the future. I want to forget how scared I am, how frustrated, and sad.

Would you mind putting that on my tab? Thanks Mel!

20 Jess { 04.17.07 at 11:45 am }

As always, I want a Mai Tai.

Nonalcholoic. Let’s not jinx anything virtual or otherwise.

Going on right now? Hahaha. Craziness. Easter Sunday we were (surprise the IVF worked) pregnant. Tuesday beta 1, wednesday an interview with a birthfamily and we were MATCHED THAT NIGHT, Thursday a good (again sort of surprising) beta, Friday we told the birthfamily we were pregnant (and they still want us!), and Monday we got good beta #3.

So things are moving along. At an alarming rate! And hopefully they keep that pace. 🙂

21 littleangelkisses { 04.17.07 at 11:58 am }

I’d like something strong and yet refreshing… a mojito maybe?

AF showed yesterday after IUI#2. The nurse kept reminding me that if #3 doesn’t work then we have to take a cycle off and come in to discuss “our next step” IVF. Dh has been amazing about it as we even had faint lines this weekend and I know it got his hopes up.

Sigh…refreshing and strong…what have you got?

22 Adrienne { 04.17.07 at 12:15 pm }

I need a big jug of 150 proof home-made moonshine, please, so I can drink myself into an embarrassing stupor. Looks like my au naturel cycle is FUBAR – started spotting today on 11DPO (11DPO!!!!) and my waking temp just took a dive. I’m blaming this all on the pee-stick yesterday. I stupidly forgot that peeing on a stick is like inviting Aunt Flo over for a beer and shots party. She shows up with bells on, the lush.

23 PCOSMama { 04.17.07 at 12:35 pm }

Mel, I love this place! It’s the only place I can afford to request a second latte (because I have plenty of virtual cash and the virtual caffeine doesn’t affect me quite so much!).
Thanks for the encouraging words, it really means a lot.
Also, I think you ‘messed up’ your temping because deep down you know charts do nothing for most of us infertiles! I say relax while you still can and sleep right through the normal temp time in the morning. You’ll be stressed and sleepless soon enough when you start another cycle!

24 ultimatejourney { 04.17.07 at 12:40 pm }

This is my first time at the virtual bar. I’m quite fond of margaritas, but an extra strong one is in order today as it’s been a rough week. My husband has had 2 SAs since February, both showing no sperm, and he underwent surgery last Friday in hopes of finding some that we could use with IVF/ICSI. It turns out he’s not producing any at all 🙁 So, we’re very upset but we still want to be parents. Our plan is to move on to donor insemination.

The situation at VT makes me wonder about bringing children into this world too, but my heart wants them SO badly.

25 dmarie { 04.17.07 at 12:43 pm }

Limoncello please. Or some of Adrienne’s moonshine 🙂 BTW–Thanks so much for being to first to leave a comment on my blog!

Lets see, I’m usually so focused on my hubby I forget about me…lol I’m on cd6 and waiting for my monitor to ask for a stick. I need to call and make a doc appt with a new RE. My purple thermometer stopped working a while ago. Temp’d it to death I think…lol

26 Karaoke Diva { 04.17.07 at 1:03 pm }

I’m definitely in the waiting phase, but I’m tired today so I’ll have a coffee with Bailey’s. Right now I’m waiting for the results of my HCG (which will be negative of that I am sure) and then I’ll be popping Provera and waiting for AF.

I’m starting injectibles this cycle and I’m more than a little nervous. Anyone else done or doing Clomid and Follistim? Are the side effects wrose? Better (HA!)? I think I need two shots in that coffee.

(On a side note: My word verification for this comment starts with “quad”. That is just not funny.)

27 es { 04.17.07 at 1:12 pm }

I could use a nice, drunken night to forget my worries. Maybe start off with a strawberry daquiri? (It reminds me of my trip to Mexico…)

Being an IVF newbie, I am finding it all to be extremely overwhelming and emotionally traumatic. I am currently in my first week of shooting up Lupron, and am very frustrated with the fact that I still don’t feel like I truly know and understand what’s going on. I got a tremendously huge box of medication, and only by casually mentioning Follistim to my nurse while talking to her yesterday did I find out that I was suppossed to have received that too, but did not.

I feel overwhelmed by the fact that I really have to be on top of everything in order to make sure that it’s happening properly. I just want someone to hold my hand and take care of me, and give me my shots, and guide me through this so that I do it right.

I really appreciate having all of your blogs to read, so that I know I’m not alone!

28 Chili { 04.17.07 at 1:17 pm }

First visit to the bar!

I just finished writing my Taxation II exam, so I could definitely use a little drinky-poo! I doubt that would help this ridiculously persistent migraine I’ve been fighting for days though, so I’ll just stick with mineral water.

My doctor is referring me to the OBGYN, so I’m just waiting on a call from them. She only sent the letter yesterday, so it could be a bit.

She thinks he’s going to want to start with Clomid, which is freaking me out just a titch. However, when I think about our chances of conceiving without it, it freaks me out more, so I think I’m just going to have to suck it up and go with it.

A virtual hug for {{{somewhat ordinary}}}, if that offers any comfort. It’s a sad event for everyone, but I can’t even imagine how painful it must be for those with close ties to the school.

29 Dianne/Flutter { 04.17.07 at 1:22 pm }

How did you know I needed this so today?

Mojito please, extra strong.

I had the Beta scheduled today, but Aunt Flo showed. So, I guess I should be happy that I didn’t have to have another needle stuck into me, to find out this IUI was a bust. But, it still totally sucks.

This morning – after a good cry – I did some retail shopping for our consolation cruise and talked to the therapist who encouraged me to HARASS the insurance guru at my clinic.

Which I have because the RE was incorrect to tell me to wait on her. Since as of today, a full week after the RE told me that the insurance guru would be submitting my request to the insurance, I find out she hasn’t. Ultimately, it may be OK.

But, I fee emotionally spent and sad. How dare I hope?

30 Tina { 04.17.07 at 1:40 pm }

Hiya ladies! Come here often?

To the Va. Tech alumni here: I am so sorry for what happened at your alma mater. Somewhat Ordinary’s comment about bringing a child into the world when things like this happen was my #1 self-questioning when we started TTC #1. How could I want to bring a child into the world with such horrific things that happen? But, as I can see it now, my child has the power to change the evils like the person who did this. May all of you connected with Va. Tech find some peace in this mess.

As for updates for me – well, I started Levoxyl for Hasimoto’s Thyroiditis and guess what has resulted so far? Acne from hell. Check! A little more anxiety that had calmed way down for a while. Check! An 18-day long cycle before getting another period. HUGE CHECK! I was hoping that, with 3 consective 77-day cycles that it would remain the same and we could move into the world of Clomid again in June/July – now that my body is reacting this way, who the hell knows how my horror-mones are going to be now.

** UGH! ** I am just disguested – and I haven’t even gotten back to TTC yet! Gotta find Hubby’s good rum from Puerto Rico now for a good Rum and Coke! 😉

31 Dianne/Flutter { 04.17.07 at 2:11 pm }

Jess – CONGRATULATIONS – on both events. Fantastic news. Praying for you.

32 megan { 04.17.07 at 2:27 pm }

hi Mel! i would *love* a manhattan. straight up, please! probably shouldn’t though as i’m in my 2ww of my 6th cycle of clomiphene, and my fourth of a met/clom combo. i’m really feeling the inequity of IF between partners this cycle…i’m carrying a bit of anger at my husband for getting off so easily (no pun intended?). i’m trying to be hopeful while simultaneously grounded. oh, and i’m trying to work too, which isn’t easy when i would much rather be stalking the IF blogiverse and feeling like i belong! thanks for the cocktail!

33 Zee { 04.17.07 at 2:46 pm }

Belvedere and tonic with two limes, please. Oh, hell, just bring me the bottle.

VB is leaving on Saturday. He balked at freezing sperm, as we had planned for MONTHS, and we won’t see each other again until at least mid-July. What that means is at least three more wasted cycles! And, just to add insult to injury: in a week and five days I’ll be forty-one-and-a-half, my FSH reading on Friday was 18.2 (!!!), and everyone around me either has kids already or is pg. (Well, all except for my office mate who is starting her IVF cycle next month. Which means she’ll be cycling while I’m sitting around scratching my butt, hopeless and spermless. Can you see where this is going?) Also, I’m going in next week to talk to the RE (a new one, not Dr. Negative) about some sort of game plan–which has to take into consideration 1) My sucktastic FSH and 2) VB’s geographical undesireablilty and his desperate aversion to any sort of medical intervention…

You know what? Forget the Belvedere. I’m just gonna mug dd for her beer hat and PBR and go sit behind the A&P dumpster. Thanks for listening!

34 Chris { 04.17.07 at 3:36 pm }

All this mojito talk has me craving one like mad. Thanks, Mel!

Not a heck of a lot new here. We just started our 6th and last IUI cycle. I have appointments coming up toward the end of May with 2 new REs to talk about IVF. I’m holding onto a little hope that this IUI works but…we’ll see!

Mel – I can’t stop charting. It’s a sickness. I envy your ability to ignore the thermometer. It’s siren’s song sucks me in everytime.

35 Mindy { 04.17.07 at 3:49 pm }

Hello. I’m only 2 days into my 2WW and I thought I was fine until about a few hours ago. I’ve been feeling on the verge of tears ever since. I could use one gigantic Margarita, on the rocks, please. I’m also new around here, so I guess I’ll introduce myself. I should start off by saying that I just discovered this site today and what a relief. I’ve visited countless infertility websites and blogs over the past year and this is the first time I’ve even considered posting — just seems like such a welcoming and safe place. And I could really use that now! I have wonderfully supportive family and friends, but they really don’t get it. Also, I am very, very fortunate to have a wonderful 4 1/2 year old daughter and I think in some way my friends and family think I should be grateful for what I have and move on. Of course I am incredibly grateful, but that’s not really the point. Plus I notice that the people who tend to express that particular sentiment are the ones with 3 kids of their own. It takes every once of self control to not ask why they weren’t satisfied with one and had more! (Ok, rant over thanks for listening.) This is my third IVF. In the past 12 months I’ve had laparoscopic surgery to remove adhesions from both tubes (likely a result of the emergency C-section I had 4 1/2 years ago), 3 rounds of IVF, one miscarriage, and 1 D&C. This latest round was done with ICSI b/c for some reason they could not identify, during round 2 our eggs and sperm did not see fit to mix it up on their own. Anyway, we got six eggs this time, all fertilized, and 3 transfered. I’m vacillating between moments of great optimism and utter pessimism. ARGH. Too bad I can’t have a real Margarita. Well, nice to meet you all and thanks for listening. Mel, thanks for the drink and this great forum!

36 sariel & shlomit { 04.17.07 at 4:01 pm }

i’m back again…stomach pains abated, i’ll take a nice glass of sangiovese, mel…
and while i have your attention: step away from the thermometer girl…temping while cycle monitoring?!?!?!?! that’s an addiction!

so i just heard that a former client (i work in an adolescent mental health treatment centre) showed up with her baby…my client is about 16…and while i think some teen moms could do a good job with the right supports, her as a parent is a scarey concept…i almost started crying when i heard…i just looked over at my colleague who has a 3 y.o. and now has elevated fsh and we both teared up….it ain’t fair…

hey mel, pass me another please!


welcome to the newbies…glad you found this place…

37 decemberbaby { 04.17.07 at 4:35 pm }

Here I am… I’ll take a frozen peach bellini, please. With a little plastic animal on top.

I’m getting inseminated tomorrow morning, and leaving for Israel on Thursday afternoon. This cycle looks good, but I’ve had good-looking cycles before, so… I’m just not banking on it.

Welcome to all the newbies. I want to do some personal visits, but I’m afraid I don’t have time right now. I’ll be back.

38 megan { 04.17.07 at 4:48 pm }

hey gang. i had to come back for another drink. a good stiff one, please! i just went to go look at the progress of a group quilt that we’re making for a colleague who just had a baby boy. while we were oohing and ahhing over it, i simply said, “It’s really just lovely.” that simple statement brought on a barrage of comments such as, “well you know what you have to do to get one of your own,” and “after i leave [retire] i’m happy to work on any baby quilts for any babies you people might be planning,” with a look toward me an another co-worker who is around the same age and also baby-free. who knows? perhaps i looked wistful.
i know there is nothing but good intentions in these remarks, but i still wish people would stop making them.
i also know that telling you guys this is like preaching to the choir so i’ll stop now and just enjoy my cocktail!
thanks for the drink, mel!

39 Dianne/Flutter { 04.17.07 at 5:16 pm }

Megan – welcome. And vent away. Every frustration you have stated, well, you aren’t alone. It still doesn’t mean that you can’t talk about it, becuase we all know you need to. So vent my friend.

40 thrice { 04.17.07 at 5:17 pm }

I’m sad today. Tyree’s diagnosis came too late. She passed away last night (16 April 2007) having developed peripartum cardiomyopathy on the heels of the delivery of her baby girl, Jocelyn, just a few months ago. She leaves behind a husband and adopted nephew as well, and loving parents, family and friends. She was 29. Her story is posted here.

It’s frustrating. Peripartum cardiomyopathy occurs in the USA every 2500 to 3500 births. Recently it was believed that it was 1 in ever 15,000 births. But the medical world and the pregnancy books are not getting the word out. If you can help me with an email campaign……..

41 Kris { 04.17.07 at 5:51 pm }

I’d really enjoy a Grey Goose martini. Dirty. And I mean it. I’d really enjoy it. The IF vacation is going well. I have about 6 more weeks till I attend the first of 3 TCM infertility retreats and I am blissfully not trying until then. Which is helpful, since H is in another state for training. I was worried I’d be stressed waiting for the retreat to hurry up and get here. But I’m not. Knowing it is going to happen is enough for me. In the meantime, I’m going to stop and smell the roses instead of rushing by on my way from cycle to cycle. And I’m going to be enjoying actual (and virtual)lushary.

42 Roy { 04.17.07 at 6:20 pm }

OMG, I did so much stuff today that I missed the opening. Usually I’m so nearby that I can hear the martini glasses hum in anticipation of lushary day.

Can you just start lining up the shots for me? I’m a lightweight, so 3 or 4 should have me falling on the floor (let’s make it 5, just to be sure). After all the drama of nearly getting divorced 3 weeks ago, then Little H being here for a week, then R’s ER visit/sugery/recovery… I’m beyond all the stress of it, but I have more than earned a night/week of drunken debauchery (especially the virtual kind).

I did spoil myself with cake today (and invited the neighbors and their little kids over to share), but I’m ready to stand on the cyber table and dance like an inebriated coyote ugly wannabe. Come on ladies, who’s gonna join me? Better yet, who’s gonna catch me when I fall off?

43 ms. c { 04.17.07 at 6:49 pm }

Wow! Crowded joint! Can someone make some room for me?

Thanks! So…

I’ll just take a glass of water. I can’t seem to decide on anything lately. One day I’m happy, next I’m sad… Right now I’d classify myself as “ok”.

Tomorrow is CD3 and I go in for my montioring and get my meds for this cycle. After 2 previous Femara and Puregon cycles where we instructed to try “naturally”, we are finally moving on to IUI. FINALLY. I just am feeling a little backwards because i feel like I’m a pro at injectables, yet don’t have any status in the IF world because we haven’t done the IUI. (Ok I’ll stop there, I did not intend this to turn into a rant!) In a nutshell: I’m excited and nervous. What if? But also: what if not?…

Want to give a shout out to everyone who’s delurked today- welcome ladies- this is a wonderful place if you find yourselves unfortunately needing to be here.

Mel-about the failed temping attempts: My “interpretation” is that taking out the thermometer was an act of taking charge of moving towards starting to cycle again. But your inability to actually use it shows how experienced you are in the world of IF (ie: though you know that temping makes may make you feel you have control, you now that charting won’t help you conceive.)

AND: HELLO! The way to slide in a comment about returning to the RE -what exciting news! (I hope he’s smarter than your Aunt Jane!)

44 Sunny { 04.17.07 at 6:54 pm }

I am so late for this drink fest. SO pour me a really good glass of tequila. I don’t want to shoot them I want to sip it and sip some more.

We are waiting again and again and again. My husband is so lost to where i am . He doesn’t get it. He doesn’t try. When I told him that if another couple gets pregnant in our small group I am going to have to bow out for a bit. He told me that I was giving up. I was being selfish. I would have everyone talking. WHO CARES! I do what I have to do to survive. He missed it. SICK OF THAT!

Surrounded by babies and bellies. Mono SUCKS! The weather is even worse. The Tech killer is from my town. I just need to go back to Jamaica. In fact I dreamed that I did last night. SO NICE.

Now I need another glass of that good tequila.

45 Sunny { 04.17.07 at 6:56 pm }

Oh Mel I forgot to tell you WOW to pulling out the thermometer. I just put mine away for a bit. Okay it is still staring at me every morning but I am not thinking about it.

GO YOU for charting and getting your info together. It is scary and nerve racking.

Do you need me to pour you a drink? I am pretty good at it by now. 🙂

46 My Reality { 04.17.07 at 6:57 pm }

I am here because Shlomit is buying me a drink. So, I will let her pick.

I found out today that my methotrexate shot has started to work and my HCG is dropping. That is good news, I guess, but certainly not worthy of a celebration.

Thanks for the drink Shlomit and the place to meet Mel.

47 Cathy { 04.17.07 at 7:41 pm }

It’s all virtual right? So how about something really strong that can knock me out for 2 weeks? (I’m a lightweight, it shouldn’t take much.)

After all the insurance battles and woes, the extra-long suppression cycle, the humongous cyst pressing on my damaged femoral nerve … we got to our first IVF. And it all went along just peachy until transfer, when they told us that NONE of our embryos looked so hot, but a couple were ok enough to give a try.

They’re telling me to keep up hope and wait for the beta, which they pushed back a couple of days to make up for the slow growth (and so when I freaked it would be on MY nurse and not the weekend nurse). With the cramping going on, and the not great odds, I just wish we could ditch the PIO and move on. I already had what amounts to my failed cycle consult over the phone today. IVF suppression #2 coming up, immediately following the negative beta. Not allowed to have natural “rest” cycles anyway, so might as well plow ahead.

So you know, just make my drink a double. I need it.

48 Samantha { 04.17.07 at 7:59 pm }

I’m in the process of coasting during my third IVF cycle. Here’s to hoping that my E2 levels will drop enough so I can get this mess of eggs out of my body. Last time I was here I went for a decaf latte, since I was avoiding alcohol, but now that I think about this, is is a VIRTUAL lushary, so screw that, I can drink what I want! Nonetheless, I’m not in the mood for anything really hard, I just really want a beer to take the edge of my anxiety. Whatever interesting microbrew you have on tap will work, hefeweizen would great, so would a nice red ale, not too bitter. Ahh…

49 mary { 04.17.07 at 8:24 pm }

Waiting!!!! That’s all I’ve been doing lately. We are WAITING for them to find us a new egg donor. WAITING to get to the top of the donor embryo list. WAITING to get a chance to maybe get pg again and see if one might stick. Enough with the WAITING, I want to get TRYING! Pour me a cold one please (it is actually quite warm here in AZ.) Something sweet and tropical to make me forget about all this WAITING. And keep them coming please.

50 Gil { 04.18.07 at 5:36 am }

First up, to the newcomers, I’m thrilled you found the virtual bar and Mel’s corner of the world. Lots of us visit from time to time to draw from the well organized blog she’s put here.

Mel, you said “Drink specials this month for all stirrup queens or sperm palace jesters who are currently undergoing any form of waiting.” So I’m sitting here at 6dp donor IUI and smack dab in the middle of my 2ww. Stupid progesterone is mimicing every aspect of p/g but I will NOT get my hopes up, no matter how ill I feel!

So in the spirit of the virtual bar and given the fact that I’m in the 2ww and totally nauseated this morning, I’m going to stick with a gingerale. And thanks for the drink Mel. Cheers ladies. *raises a glass* This one is for Jenny, who just had her baby girl, Olivia, on Sunday.

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