Comments on: Blech to William Saletan

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Tue, 23 Jan 2007 22:17:00 +0000

I’ve been writing about my experiences donating my 3 spare embryos. It cost me $18,000 to make all 6 but I’m not accepting any $ for my gift.

If donation is OK why not reimburse sperm donors, egg donors and the clinic for the cost of making embryos? But even tho I’m donating I disagree w/embryo donation in general. Here’s why http://embryodonation.blogspot.com/2006/12/why-im-against-embryo-donation.html

By: Sarah

Sarah — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 19:05:00 +0000

I read a blurb about Ryan’s services in the newspaper two weeks ago and thought it sounded like a fabulous idea. I think she is brilliant. An over 40 single woman I know is just now trying to decide if she will use donor eggs. She is already trying to get pg with donor sperm. In addition to mourning the loss of a biological connection to herself, she is also struggling with the cost aspect — what if she spends all the money on an egg donor and doesn’t get many viable embryos? Ryan’s service seemed tailor made for her — she wouldn’t pay if there were no embryos, and she’d presumably get results much faster than if she chose to persue adoption of someone else’s embryos or more traditional adoption. Win-win in my book.

I really don’t think it sounds all that different from what is already done with egg and sperm donors. In fact, it seems as if it improves upon that process by taking some of the risk out of the process.

By: Paper_whore

Paper_whore — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 17:35:00 +0000

I don’t see how paying for an embryo is any different than the thousands of dollars adoptive parents pay for their child. No, with adoption the money is not labeled as paying for the child, but the adoptive parents are still forking over entirely too much money to the bureaucrats who make adoption possible in this country. So that part of selling embryos does not make me feel icky at all.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 16:58:00 +0000

I commented on Bea's post today/yesterday on this.

Personally, profiting off someone's infertility makes me go "ick" too. But as long as there's a need, there will be a market for it. That's the basis of all economy. And clearly there's a need for Ryan's services.

It just makes me depressed to see how much societal ignorance there is regarding infertility and ART.

So yes. Blech to William Saletan. He doesn't get it. And he's pandering to the other people who don't get it either. The ones who think that couples who use Ryan's services are doing it strictly to have a blue eyed, blonde haired baby boy.

Grrr.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 14:40:00 +0000

I agree…only people who have endured the heart break, desperation, disappointment, physical and emotional pain can comment at all on ART.

By: mary

mary — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 13:35:00 +0000

Having just finished a donor egg cycle this article hit close to home. Understanding and coming to terms with the fact that I had to give up the biological connection if I wanted children was one of the hardest things I’ve done. I can’t imagine anyone choosing that if they didn’t have to. Also I wanted a blond haired blue eyed donor because I am blond haired and blue eyed. Even though I was giving up the biological aspect I still wanted my children to look like me in some way (another thing that people who have biological children take for granted.) It is so hard to know you will never see your mother’s eyes or your father’s chin in your child.

Anyway, my real point is even though they are screeening and creating these “perfect” embryos, you never know really what you are getting. We used a well screened egg donor, got pg and miscarried soon after. We now just discovered that the donor has a rare genetic disorder that is fatal to all male babies and all females will be carriers. It was reccomended that we discard all of our frozen embryos. We thought we knew what we were getting into using a donr, but really there are no guarantees no matter how much you pay.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 08:27:00 +0000

I’m going to make this my last comment, I promise. There is much more to say about this. But I disagree with you about the role ethicists should take in this. Journalists are for reporting, ethicists need to take a more proactive role. Society on it’s own has a poor general track record. Salem. Auschwitz.

Bea

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 07:41:00 +0000

But I may have missed the important questions. I'm just angry with the media lately.

1. There are pros as well as cons with for-profit medicine.

2. We never really know what we're doing til it's done. It is worth pausing to check for blatant errors, though.

3. The concern is that the consequences will not be worth it. The means will not turn out to justify the ends - at least not on balance, taking everyone's interests into account. Again, valid concern, just a little too much hysteria going on and not enough rational looking at the big picture.

For example - the clinic wants blue-eyed blond-haired donors because business is business. But why is it that the the demand for donors doesn't accurately reflect the broader racial mix of society? I'm pretty sure the answers to this question lie *outside* the ART industry.

Bea

By: lunarmagic

lunarmagic — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 06:12:00 +0000

I think it’s fairly obvious that the author of that article has NO idea what people go through. Selling embryos is a little weird… but when you think about it… it IS what (some) people want. Like you said… you want the screening but you don’t want the screening. you want what’s best for the child… but having to go through screening and waiting processes and being observed and graded when all you want is what other people seem to get without trying… well, it can feel like quite an insult.

So really to me… Ryan’s business doesn’t bother me too much. They already “sell” sperm and eggs. I don’t see the big difference.

Oh, and about the mentality that seems to be all over the place in the media that IVF is an “easy way out”. Like the article said – “Why risk it in your infertile, 40-year-old body when Ryan can find a healthy 25-year-old to carry it for you?” Excuse me?? Do they honestly think that any IFer WANTS to give up that biological link and use donor eggs and sperm? That they WANT to hand over gestation to someone they don’t even know? The legal aspects alone of surrogacy are still such a muddle. Offhand snide remarks like that really piss me off.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 17 Jan 2007 04:55:00 +0000

i declare only people who have gone through IF are allowed right the rules/books/articles about it – then this sort of madness from non ivloved parties can stop being what is right and start beign just another point of view.

persoanlly it hinkt hey should odo a tv show like ‘crash test mummy’ for people who dont get IF and the strains it put people under – they should be hypnotised and set loose… then we’d see how tunes change after the 30th night in a row wondering if drug a is better than drug b or if that dodgy curry is to blame for your low temps post DTD…

I knbow more non medical people in the IF field who know more about the drugs and prodecures than anything – they research and research – no one goes into art blindly – we all knwo the odds,t he risk sna dhte miracles – we all want a slice of the joy that IS possible…

now all we need is society to back off and let us breatht oo would be nice.