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Friday Blog Roundup

Guess what came out on newsstands? The latest issue of Playboy, complete with nude photos of Cindy Margolis, “posing for a purpose.” The purpose being to promote infertility awareness. A portion of the proceeds from the sale of the magazine are earmarked to go to RESOLVE, so get out there and purchase your porn today.

We mused last night whether sending our two-year-old son up to the counter with the magazine and having him exclaim: “I want this!” at Barnes and Noble was funny or just poor parenting. Don’t worry, mum–Josh deterred me from that one…

The blogs…

I loved Josefina’s post this week at My English Blog about the incredulousness she felt when the Clearblue Easy Monitor told her that her peak fertility days are day 13 and 14 of her cycle. It was a case of if-I’m-so-freakin’-regular-then-why-am-I-still-not-pregnant? It’s not that you want something to be wrong, but wrongness can at least be an explanation. And having sex on the wrong day of your cycle is something that you can at least do something about. If anyone knows anything about fertility monitors, head over to Josefina’s blog and help answer her questions. She also ended with an interesting question: how does one count how long they’ve been “trying?” For instance, if you have to sit out a month or two due to a cyst, do you count that time? What if you miss ovulation due to a business trip? It was an interesting thought. I personally count the time from the first month we consciously began trying. I also cycle so frequently that I get more than 12 tries per year. So in 18 months, I may cycle 24 times. How does one count that? Your thoughts on the idea of counting time?

Mary Scarlet at Mary Scarlet came up with a brilliant idea. Rather than switch paths to parenthood or try something more drastic, she is simply switching REs. Getting a new pair of eyes on the case with new ideas about protocol. It was a such a simple idea and such a brilliant idea–and perhaps someone else is reading this and feels like they’re at the end of the line. Well, this is one more step that you may not have considered. Head over to Mary Scarlet and read more…

On the same topic of perspective, Piccinigirl over at Kir’s Corner has a fantastic post this week about where she’s “at.” She has a beautiful way of describing how infertility affects her life: “Infertility is where I am right now. It’s my path and many days, it obstructs the way I view others and the world. It is always at the edge of my consciousness, waking with me in the morning and tucking me in at night. It is the ‘thing’ I see all the time and it is the ‘thing’ that I view the world through. I say this because there is much more to me than infertility (well at least I hope there is) but for the past three years it is the spectrum that I see everything through including just everyday life, never mind things like holidays and other family gatherings.” She illustrates the point by telling a story of looking through a catalog that her mother thought she would like. In it, she finds onesies that say things like “No More Silent Nights” as well as other cute baby paraphernalia. She begins crying and her mother says, “where were those things when I looked through that catalog? I didn’t see any of those things, but they were [obviously] there.” The point being that sometimes we miss seeing things because they’re just not in our frame of reference. And other times, things loom large because of the emotions that come into play. She finishes the post with a gorgeous sentiment that she found within that same catalog: “Impossible is not a definite…it’s a dare.”

Lastly, through a slip-of-the-fingers, the Anonymous Infertile at Random Ramblings has coined a new term: infertiority. It’s that feeling of inferiority one (irrationally) feels when they consider other women’s ripe, plump ovaries. And gorgeously formed uterus. And baby-making hormone levels. My new campaign will be to get this one in the OED by 2008.


1 Piccinigirl { 11.10.06 at 3:07 pm }

we got our Pla.yb.oy last week (Mr Kir subscribes, he claims he likes the jokes!) Cindy looks amazing and I am so glad that a publication like Play.bo.y let her donate $ to Resolve and bring Infertility to a brand new audience. Every little bit helps.

(thanks for using me in the Roundup this week, the post you referred feels like so much of what I have wanted to say lately , my mom confirming my immersion in IF was like a splash of cold water on a crisp day but it helps a lot of us in the IF world to know that we are not alone in that tunnel vision or that others are not like us: single women see brides, students see people with degrees and jobs, renters see people who own, etc they are all writing from where they are right now and that is ok )

2 Anonymous { 11.11.06 at 4:45 am }

On how to count… I guess it depends which day you ask me.

From a medical viewpoint, it would be most accurate to count the number of cycles in which you had a chance to conceive. Logical Bea wants to use this measure always, to help review our treatment choices and make decisions for the future. So we’ve actually only been trying for four cycles. Logically speaking.

But from an emotional perspective, that missed ovulation/enforced break/time you spent trying before you knew it was useless trying that way is not something that just slips easily off the radar. Inner Therapist Bea wants to acknowledge all those cycles as part of the journey, and doesn’t much care how they’re counted – in time, in number of 2ww’s or wasted eggs…


3 lunarmagic { 11.11.06 at 12:22 pm }

On counting time… I’ve been counting number of cycles since we started. I have typical 28-29 day cycles so I too have more cycles in a year than there are months. I don’t know about counting months where we didn’t have much of a chance due to timing. We haven’t taken any months off yet either. I don’t know what I’d do then.

4 Shelby { 11.11.06 at 5:14 pm }

I’ll have to pick that up! Thanks for putting this blog together, it’s really useful!

5 Josefina { 11.11.06 at 7:30 pm }

Well, I feel flattered that you mentioned me, it’s like being quoted on the newspaper or somewhere important! I’m serious. This blog has meant so much to me, so it’s very exciting to see myself here!
As always thank you so much for your thoughts and everything!
PS: oh and by the way, after doing an extense google research, I’ve come to the conclusion that I really did ovulate the day the monitor said. LOL! We’ll see what happens 10 days from now!

6 Kath { 11.12.06 at 12:57 pm }

Dear Melissa, I just read your entire blog (which I’ve been wanting to do for months and months, as I wanted to get the whole story) and just wanted to say you rock!

I’m glad you got a diagnosis from the hematologist, although I wish it had been a bit more clear-cut (“Looky here! Here’s a simple problem that’s undoubtedly the culprit AND that’s ridiculously easy to solve!”) But alas, no. Are you homozygous or heterozygous for MTHFR? This would affect the severity of the problem. I see Lisa P. offered you info — you might want to check out Thalia’s blog too. She got the diagnosis in summer, and wrote up her treatment plan.

(c) 2006 Melissa S. Ford
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