Welcome back after a long holiday weekend (or, for all of you living overseas–a normal weekend). A special shout out to our neighbours up north for Canada Day (yes, Americans DO know about Canada Day. They just…er…forget to say Happy Canada Day…). And of course, if you are here in America, we hope your weekend was filled with sparklers (if they’re legal in your state), fireworks, and all the hamburgers/veggie burgers you could eat.
A discussion with my mum this weekend led to question number five. When she was going through infertility in the 60s and 70s, the only paths to parenthood were Clomid or adoption if you were going through IF. No IUI or IVF; no sperm washing or donor eggs/sperm (of course, the flip side was that without the option of abortions in the pre-Roe vs. Wade days more women put up their babies for adoption, hence adoption was a lot easier. My mother has a ridiculously easy adoption story for my sister in comparison to the hoops adoptive parents need to jump through today).
My mother’s point is that it’s easier today because there are more options. People at least can see a lot of hope before them because there are many things to try. My argument was that with all of the options out there, it’s difficult to limit yourself and ever say “enough is enough” because you always want to try one more thing. Also, the financial burden of fertility treatments make it more frustrating when there are things out there to try that you think might work, but you can’t afford them. This leads to a lot of couples/people heavily in debt with their bodies having gone through the grinder (anyone who has had a burst follicle will question the sanity of what you’re putting your body through).
Which leads to the question: would you rather be living in the 60s with fewer options or living in the aughts (is there a better word for this decade?) with many options? Which one do you think you’d be able to handle better emotionally?
Not that you can go forward or back in time. So this question is a moot point. But it helps define the way different generations approach IF and may help you understand how a different generation (eg. your parents) views your struggle.
Tune back later for an ode to my mother–the woman who was our rock through IF. Thank you, Mommy.