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D&C or a D&E After a Pregnancy Loss

D&C (Dilation and Curettage) or D&E (Dilation and Evacuation) After a Pregnancy Loss
by Tina

I just wanted to say, before getting into the details of D&C or D&E, I am sorry for your loss and that you even need to be reading this area. I have miscarried three different ways (detailed further in the text), so I hope my experiences can help you to make a decision on how you handle yours.

There is no right or wrong way to manage your miscarriage, as long as it is not life-threatening to you. Sometimes you do not have an option in how you manage your miscarriage–it just begins without warning and you miscarry naturally. Other times, you have choices and time to make those decisions, and your choices should be made based on your own personal wants and needs to honor the baby to whom you are saying goodbye.

Why You Would Opt For a D&C or a D&E?

As background, D&C (which stands for Dilation and Curettage) is a procedure done in the uterus by scraping of the lining of the uterus (the endometrium). Another, less invasive, version of a D&C is the D&E (which stands for Dilation and Evacuation). In a D&E, instead of scraping, the lining of the uterus is suctioned out.

The following are the main health reasons a woman may have a D&C or a D&E done:

  • for a woman who knows she is going to miscarry and opts not to have a natural miscarriage at home;
  • for a woman who a recently miscarried naturally, or who previously had a D&C/D&E done and retained tissue remains in the womb;
  • for a woman who is experiencing heavy or irregular periods, or vaginal bleeding after the menopause.

Opting for a D&C/D&E when a miscarriage is detected and has not begun is a personal choice, which has its own set of pros and cons – and there is no right or wrong choice in opting for a D&C/D&E, as long as it is the right choice for you.

Choosing to have a D&C/D&E depends upon several personal factors you need to consider:

  • how far along the pregnancy might have been or what bleeding has already occurred;
  • how long you have known about the impending miscarriage and the emotional toll already taken on you because of it;
  • strong emotional feelings over the impending pregnancy loss;
  • emotional preferences on how one feels the pregnancy should be allowed to end;
  • family issues, such as care of other children in the home;
  • preference for medical testing on the fetal tissue from the miscarriage, especially in recurrent miscarriage;
  • work issues, such as project management and duties, and time off for the miscarriage.

What to Expect

A D&C/D&E is considered minor surgery, therefore, it is performed in a hospital or ambulatory surgery center or clinic.

In most cases, you would be given general anesthesia, which would require someone to drive you to/from the location of the procedure. You should not eat/drink anything 12 hours prior to the procedure. Sometimes, women will request local anesthesia instead – that is something that would have to be discussed with the gynecologist performing the procedure.

In the actual procedure, a speculum is inserted into the vagina to open the walls to view the cervix. A clamp-like instrument holds the cervix in place as the cervix is dilated with a series of tapered rods of increasing widths, which are inserted into the cervical opening.

If a D&C is performed, the ob/gyn will insert a specialized scraping scalpel (called a curette) to scrap the retained tissue from the uterus;

If a D&E is performed, the ob/gyn insert a hollow tube through the cervix and suction is applied to remove the retained tissue.

The procedure usually takes anywhere from five to twenty minutes to finish, depending upon how far along the pregnancy was or if the procedure is specifically to clear out retained tissue from a natural miscarriage or previous D&C/D&E.

It is normal to experience light, irregular bleeding in the days following the D&C/D&E, along with mild cramping. Naproxen or ibuprofen is usually given for relief from cramping. You may also be given a prescription for a medication to stop a hemorrhage (just as a precaution should you begin to hemorrhage after the procedure).

Most women are told to take the day of the procedure and the following day off from work (if you work), and to rest as much as possible for those two days. But, generally, physical recovery is fairly quick.

After a D&C/D&E, you should get a list of instructions with the following instructions:

  • Avoid intercourse for 2 weeks. Bacteria can easily get into your uterus and cause infection until your cervix returns to normal after the dilation;
  • Use only sanitary pads for bleeding. Avoid tampons for at least 2 weeks. Do not use douches;
  • Be sure to return for your follow-up visit, usually 2 weeks after the procedure. Your ob/gyn should discuss all lab reports on your tissue sa
    mples, if testing of the fetal tissue is ordered. Your ob/gyn will also examine you for any signs of infection and to make sure your cervix/uterus have returned to normal size.

Problems That May Arise and Ways to Troubleshoot

Although I personally have not had any problems after either my D&E nor my D&C, there are several problems that can arise from the procedures:

  • If your ob/gyn is too cautious in the procedure (especially with a D&C, since it involved a real scraping scalpel), retained tissue can remain. This tissue is usually passed without complication afterwards, although in some instances, the possible need for another procedure may arise. Sometimes, like a natural miscarriage, tissue is missed;
  • Rarely, an ob/gyn can accidentally puncture the uterine wall while performing either a D&C/D&E;
  • Hemorrhage is rare, but it can occur if an instrument injures the walls of your uterus. It also can occur if an undetected fibroid is cut during procedure;
  • You can end up with an infection because your natural uterine environment is being invaded to do the procedure. Some ob/gyns’ prescribe antibiotics up-front to prevent it from happening – some, like my ob/gyn, do not;
  • Asherman’s Syndrome, although rare, can develop later on. This syndrome involves the formation of scar tissue in the uterus, caused by aggressive scraping, repeat D&C/D&E’s, or abnormal reaction to the scraping. Thick scars can result, which can fill up the uterus completely. Abnormal bleeding/loss of periods and heavy cramping are signs of the syndrome. A sonohystogram can detect this scarring, which can be corrected surgically if diagnosed correctly.

Call your doctor immediately if you develop any of the following symptoms:

  • Fever/chills;
  • Severe persistent pain or cramps not relieved by ibuprofen or naproxen;
  • Prolonged or heavy bleeding (more than 6 hours, or requiring a change of sanitary pads several times in 1 hour);
  • A foul-smelling discharge from your vagina.

Personal Tips

I have personally experienced three miscarriages: One natural miscarriage at 4 wks 1 day (9/04), a blighted ovum which required a D&E since the miscarriage would not start on its own (11/05) and a missed miscarriage when the baby stopped growing at 6 wks 4 days, which I opted to have a D&C immediately (3/06).

Through these experiences, I have several tips that I hope can help anyone that has to go through this experience:

1. Do not let an ob/gyn pressure you into an immediate choice of a D&C/D&E. You need to take into account how you feel you need to manage this decision, and make sure the diagnosis of miscarriage is confirmed.

2. Make sure your miscarriage is confirmed by blood work AND ultrasound before you consider a D&C/D&E. My ob/gyn is very experienced, but he told me that even he has made mistakes in diagnosing a miscarriage – on rare occasions, blood work and repeat ultrasound can detect an incorrect diagnosis and the pregnancy is viable. So, having repeat betas and ultrasounds to confirm the miscarriage is crucial. With my 11/05 miscarriage, I had three beta draws and three ultrasounds to confirm the miscarriage.

3. Discuss the procedure thoroughly with your ob/gyn so you understand how the procedure is done and any questions you have are answered. Be clear on what kind of anesthesia you want – and what is allowed in the surgery center where you are having the procedure. This can be a very emotional procedure, and you need to have your concerns and questions answered before hand.

4. If you experience nausea/vomiting as a morning sickness sign like I did with my 3/06 miscarriage, even though you are miscarrying, you can ask for meds to be injected into your IV line so that, when you wake up from the procedure, the nausea subsides for you.

5. When you wake up from the procedure, be prepared for the reality that the pregnancy is now completely over. When I woke up from my D&E in 11/05, I was crying as I realized the procedure was done. Luckily for me, the nurse was very sweet and gave me tissues and allowed me to cry while she stood there holding my hand.

6. Make sure your ob/gyn leaves instructions on what you should do when you go home and if you see any problems arise after the procedure. Better yet, ask that your ob/gyn stops in to see you after the procedure is done. My ob/gyn stopped in to see me after both my D&C and D&E to make sure I was physically okay.

7. If you have children at home, ask someone to care for them for a little while as you sleep off the anesthesia and you are sure your bleeding after the procedure is within the normal range. To recover well, you need to rest.

8. Remember: After a D&C/D&E, you have now had a complete miscarriage. Your hormones usually “dump” quickly, which can potentially make you an emotional basketcase. I cried through Thanksgiving dinner in 11/05 since my D&E was done two days prior and my hormone levels were going down quickly. So, if you are having a hard time with the loss right after the procedure, it is completely normal and to be expected.

9. If you are not prepared to go back to work (if you work) after the two days home, don’t. My D&E in 11/05 was done two days before Thanksgiving, so despite the holiday, I had several days to begin to sort through the emotions. But, after my D&C was done in 3/06, I returned to work after the two days – and it was just not enough time to begin to the grief process.

10. Insist on that follow-up visit in two weeks. Some ob/gyns try to skate around it – you really need the follow up to make sure you are physically recovered and to ask questions you may have.

11. Ask for repeat betas afterwards to make sure your HCG levels are going back down to zero. For some women, it takes a few days – for others, it can take a few weeks. If you want to TTC right away, you need to make sure your HCG levels are down to zero again.

12. You are usually very fertile after a D&C/D&E – the lining is almost always cleaned out and fresh. So, if you do chose to TTC after the procedure, your odds are usually a little better for conception.

13. And, lastly, be comfortable with the decision in how to handle your miscarriage. Waiting to miscarry sometimes is not an option and you miscarry quickly. Other times, like for my 11/05 miscarriage, you are waiting for weeks for it to begin. A part of the emotional healing process is to be comfortable with how you chose to manage your miscarriage…there is no right or wrong way to do that. It just has to be right for you.


1 Anonymous { 11.24.06 at 2:24 am }


2 Anonymous { 12.05.06 at 12:15 pm }

I to just had a D&C and the emotions went easily, little to no cramps. I suffered from pains in my chest and throat from having the breathing tube in while I was under. It’s been three days and each day gets better. At first I was was worried because the day after the surgery it was intense, but it does subside.

This is definetley NOT what I wanted to go through, but I still have High hopes of trying again!!!

3 Anonymous { 12.06.06 at 11:03 am }

This article was very helpful I just went through a D&C but also have high hopes and plan to try again.

4 Anonymous { 12.12.06 at 11:07 pm }

I’m going thru this now and still can’t make up my mind on how to proceed. I’m 12 weeks and the baby stop growing at 9 weeks. Based on gestational age I can’t have an induction and a D&C seems so invasive and violent. The baby most likely died 3 weeks ago and my body hasn’t discharged it yet. I don’t want to have to make a decision on how to remove my dead baby from my body. I think I am most concerned about how I can respect the babies body and a D&C would not allow that.

5 The Town Criers { 12.13.06 at 8:55 pm }

I’m so sorry, Anonymous. Both for your loss and that you have to make this decision. Is your doctor helping to guide you towards a solution?

6 Anonymous { 12.15.06 at 8:36 am }

Anonymous: I am so sorry you have to go through this – I felt the same way with my 11/05 loss. I wanted to do something respectful for my baby who had died and a d&e when I was given the news seemed to be so “cruel” to end it. But, after 3 weeks of waiting for the m/c to start, I came to the realization that not having the procedure done was 1) going to delay my grieving the loss and 2) put my body at risk for infection and futher complications.

I hope that your body allows you to let go of this PG and move on to mourning. But, if it does not and you have to have a d&e/d&c, I hope that you will be able to find some peace in time. We are here for you – and you can always send me an e-mail for support.


7 Anonymous { 01.29.07 at 7:26 pm }

thx for the info! I miscarried in Oct & had a D&C Oct 24th. It is now the end of jan and Ive been having problems since my 1st period after the d&c. My doctor still cant tell me what wrong. Ive had pelvic ultrasounds and everything. they said its either a fibroid, pollup or a small piece of placenta left over. So now I have to go in for another procedure where my dr looks at my uterus w/a telescope. Im thinking about getting a 2nd opinion from another doctor. I am so tired of not knowing. My 1st two periods were so painful and it killed me to have a bm. Hope i find out whats wrong w/me soon.

8 TKJ { 02.14.07 at 8:06 pm }

I just had a D&C. It’s only been 1 day, but I am still not feeling well. I have some very uncomfortable or painful cramps. Is that normal. I have heard that all of that goes away after the second day normally. But, I’ve never had this procedure done, so I am wondering if I should have taken off the rest of the week. My boss is pressuring me to come back to work before weeks end, but the way I am feeling today, I don’t if I’ll be up to it. Should I have asked for the entire week? My procedure was done Tuesday?

9 A. Lin { 02.15.07 at 2:41 pm }

I had a D&E in 06/04. I was 10 weeks pregnant, but ultrasounds (3) and hormone checks (3) indicated that the baby had stopped growing around 6 weeks. My family was days away from moving into a new house, and I had no bleeding. So I opted for the D&E.

What you said about waking up after the procedure was true for me. I knew the baby was lost, but the D&E really made it true in my mind. I was also blessed with a wonderful nurse in recovery. And I was surprised at how wonderful my dr was. When I had been to him before with my first pregnancy, he seemed the most distant. But after this experience, I found him to be very caring (it must have been bad days on the previous visits with him).

This is a great post. I’ll keep it in mind when I am ministering to women facing this situation.

10 Tina { 02.27.07 at 9:29 am }

TKJ: I am not sure how long ago you posted this, but I hope you did not let your boss pressure you into coming back. My d&e and d&c physical recoveries were uneventful, but the emotional toll after my d&c was large and I should have taken more time for that. I hope you recovered well – cramping is common the day of and the day after the procedure.

Anonymous with the Oct. procedure: I would say get a second opinion! I have a fibroid, but it never did anything like that to me (although is depends upon the location). Please post an update when you can.

A. Lin: I am glad you can use this in your ministry. I hope that it touches someone who needs it.

11 Anonymous { 03.04.07 at 9:53 am }

i had a d&e i was 9 weeks pregnant and my baby died a few days earlier. i feel empty and that was nearly 4 weeks ago. i miss my baby so much. the d&e was the best thing for me and i am trying again shortly

12 DEVI { 04.18.07 at 8:45 pm }

it is very helpful for me.. iam so sorry about ur pregnancy losts. i too just had D&E because of stop growing baby .. its very hard to digest of loosing pregnancy. i took one week to recover from that grief. now iam trying to get new hopes for my next pregnancy..

i wish u all may have healthy baby very soon.

13 Anonymous { 04.22.07 at 6:11 pm }

amanda said:

I went through a D&C in feb/07 and Im still feeling the lost of my baby. I lost it at 8 weeks and took 3 weeks total off from the time I found out that i miscarried. I still cry everytime I see a baby. Im trying again in may and hope everything goes well. Im really gald I found this site, everone keeps telling me it’s for the best, but best for who? I was just wondering if you ovulating can change after this procedure? Anyway sorry to hear about everyones losses !

14 Sandi { 04.23.07 at 6:53 pm }

I had a D&E 2 weeks ago. I am going for my follow up appointment on Wednesday. This is one of the hardesst things I ever had to do in my life. I wast 9 weeks and my baby also stopped growing. I do not have a probem seeing babies I have problems seeing pregnant women. All i think is that should be me. I want to try again ASAP. My husband and I have greivedeveryday since we found out about our baby. We planted a plant in our yard. One that stays green all year round for our baby. Tha really helped us. Am I wrong for wanting to try again his soon?

15 Anonymous { 04.24.07 at 7:55 pm }

to sandi,

So sorry to hear about your loss:(
No you are not wrong to want to try again, but I think it might be wise to let you body heal and to get back to you regular menstral cycle. Plus if you are not already on a prenatal vitamin, it might be good to go on, when you try to concieve you now need 5mg of folic acid. My doctor put me on PregVit and you need to be on it for atleast 2 months, it will reduce your chances of having another miscarraige by 85%. Something to think about, some advice from someone who is already there, and know EXACTLY how you feel. Take care hun and know you are not alone :)


16 Sandi { 04.25.07 at 3:01 pm }

Thank you so much for your response. I went to the doctor today and he told me to wait two months. So that is what I will do. But the information you gave me about the vitamins is great I will be doing that starting tomorrow. Even if I do not get pregnant in two months should I still take them? Thanks again for everything. You were a great help.

17 Anonymous { 04.25.07 at 6:24 pm }


Im so glad that I could help, in regards to you still taking the Vitamins…for sure, keep taking them till you do get pregnant(don’t worry you will!)Im glad you are waiting the 2 months to try to start agin , it was a good choice for yourself. Did your doctor give you the perscription for vitamins? The vitamin is for concieving and during pregnancy, following through to breastfeeding aswell. I hope everything works out for you. Take care.


18 Tina { 04.30.07 at 9:01 am }


I am so sorry for your loss. I think waiting is wise at this point for you – not only to allow you to heal physically, but to heal emotionally. I didn’t wait (although my doc didn’t say I had to either) and I ended up with another m/c – I should have waited because the grief I didn’t allow myself to have the second time spilled over into the third m/c, and it made for a terrible year.

Re. your question on prenatals – I have been on prescription prenatals for almost 2 years. My doc felt it is better for me to be on them, regardless of whether we are TTC or not.

Devi: I am sorry for your loss. It is very hard to digest… :(

19 Sandi { 05.01.07 at 3:15 pm }

I am so sorry for your loss. I am going to wait 2 menstral cycles. That is what my Doctor said to do I am also taking the vitamins. All my best to you.

20 Natalie { 05.25.07 at 12:46 pm }

I really think this site is helpful. i have had 2 D&E’s, my first the baby was a missed miscarriage at 8 wks, but was only 5.5 wks when i went for my 1st ultrasound. they had me go back for another ultrasound in a week and it was the same size. i never started bleeding and we opted for the D&E. I didn’t have any problems after the procedure. i ovulated normal and got pregnant 5 months later trying once 3/07! I just had another missed miscarriage after seeing the heartbeat at 8 weeks, it died a few days later, but we didn’t know until my 12 wk checkup. I knew i just wanted to move on and get another D&E. So i had it this past tuesday 5/21/07. The grieving is hard, but knowing it was safe and prevents infection i opted for it. I would rather have the D&E then miscarry naturally and see the baby come out! We plan to try again in a few months!

I pray that everyone who’s had a miscarriage/D&C, D&E will eventually have a little bundle of joy someday!

21 Tina { 06.01.07 at 10:48 am }

Sandi: Good luck to you when you start trying again… I was just cleared today to start – and I am scared as hell!

Natalie: I am so sorry to read you have been through this again… Many hugs to you as you sort through everything. Keep us posted on how you are doing…

22 Anonymous { 07.06.07 at 10:26 am }

Thanks so much for this. I just found out yesterday the I had an m/c and I opted for a D&E so because I’m retaining the tissue and I want to start TTC again soon. This made me feel much better about things. THANKS!!

23 Anonymous { 07.10.07 at 1:24 pm }

Thank you for starting this site, it has helped me greatly.
I went for my 12wk ultrasound last Friday and it showed my baby had died at 9wks. I am booked in for a D&E this Thursday as i showed no signs of my body starting to pass it natually. But yesterday afternoon i started bleeding (ALOT) and passed alot of tissue/large clots overnight (the most painful experience of my life) and am now experiencing what can only be discribed as a heavy period with not much pain (sorry for being graphic).
So i am unsure whether to go through with the D&E incase there is anything left or to leave it to carry on natually. I do want to try again soon so could anyone advise on there option to this? I understand it would be my choice but i am totally undecided!
Many thanks for taking the time to read this.

24 The Town Criers { 07.11.07 at 4:43 am }

I am so sorry, Anonymous. Sending good thoughts for tomorrow if you do go through with the procedure. I would say that it has to be up to you and your doctor. S/he would know better from experience which route to take.

25 Anonymous { 07.17.07 at 12:14 pm }

Thank you for starting this site, It is helpfull for people who have been through this same experience. I just had a D&C on 06/29/07. We had an ultrasound at 5w5d and we saw a heartbeat but it was slow, so when we went back on 06/27 for another on there was no more heartbeat and the baby had died at about 6w. My body had not started to miscarry yet so I opted for a D&C. I went in two days later and had the procedure done. I was pretty much a wreck for the first week, but trying again is what helped me get through the process. I had spotted for about 2 days after the D&C then started a period a few days after that. When I went in for my checkup my doctor said that was normal and to go ahead and if I was to get pregnant to use that day. Well out of curiosity I took a hpt yesturday and it came up really fast with two pink lines. Can I still have that much hormones in my body after almost 2.5 weeks? I have no pregnancy symptoms and I thought after a D&C your levels dropped pretty rapidly. Any advice??

26 Anonymous { 08.07.07 at 9:34 pm }

This really is great information here. Kudos to you for reaching out to help others. I had a D & C on June 6th and it was a hard decision to make. My baby stopped growing at about 8 wks, but it wasn’t until my 12 wk. appt. that I knew it had stopped growing. I was devastated! It was so difficult and I couldn’t believe I had no idea anything was wrong. My body was going along its merry way, being preg. and actually everything wasn’t oksy–sigh…I do have a child and this was my 2nd preg. after a long period of trying and having 2 hysteroscopies for Asherma’s Synd. You are so right on when you say that you need time to grieve and heal. I took a wk. off and at first thought I only need a couple of days–it is a loss and should be treated as such. Thanks for the great blog spot.


27 Anonymous { 08.21.07 at 8:43 am }

My husband & I found out a week ago that our babys heart had stopped at 22 weeks. We only had 2 options, induce or a D&E. We chose the D&E due to the fact that I could not handle being induced & not coming home with my baby girl. She was our first child together & we never got to see her or hear her cry, it is very much effecting me now. The first few days were ok after having the procedure but now is 4 days & it is rougher than the first 2. We want to try again as soon as we can but I am very much afraid that we will have to go through the same thing. My husband has been very helpful through the whole situation, I couldnt of done it without him & I believe that it brought us much closer together. He is the best husband I could ever ask for.
I am so sorry for all the women out there who have to go through similar situations. just remember that it is most likely the hardest thing you will ever have to go through & I wish you all my love & best of luck!

28 mandy { 08.24.07 at 8:10 pm }

I am so sorry for all your losses.me and my husband just lost our second baby to a miscarriage,first one real quick jan.o7 said my progetrone was too low.And now this time was just days ago 8/07 I ended up have a blighted ovum meaning the baby died a few weeks ago and wasnot able to pass on its own; just starting to spot on thurs. i went to the hospital found out what was wrong she said everythings fine had ultrasound,bloodwork,hcg levels,pelvic exam and come to find out a few days later(sunday) everything was not the lady read the ultrasound wrong so I had to have the d&c done did not know anything about it my doctors kept me in the dark about everything . the morning of my procedure I woke up and cramped so bad I got in the shower and my water breaks I feel urge to push so we hurry to the hospital and few hrs later I woke up a our precious baby was gone, I knew it in my head that the baby was but after the D&C the baby was really gone and i lost it crued like crazy, my whole heart hurts and the emptyness is so much to bear, was just so out of it and devestaed . my point of this is just be sure and be informed because we really didnt know anything.we had been trying for 2 yrs to get pregnate and to find out my precious baby is gone,i am not sure if i can ever go through it again but for now my heart and my body need time to heal, just be sure and please take care of yourselves and when that day comes and you have that precious baby love them and never take them for granted. i wish u all luck an many blessings to come.thank you for this column i know more now thanm when i had it done. god bless you. mandy ohio

29 Anonymous { 09.02.07 at 8:48 am }

i just had a m/c 8/29/07 it started out to be just a slight spotting and it increased to a bright red in color. This was suppose to be my second pregnancy i have a 4 year old boy, with him there was no complications at all. it was just so hard for me because i never thought this could happen to us. the pain is something i can’t explain, i know they always say that i shouldn’t blame myself but sometimes i wonder if i did something wrong.i am just happy that i have a very supportive husband that is just staying positve for me.I m/c naturally since i was only 7 weeks and my doc did an u/s and there was nothing left in my uterus, I already stop bleeding i was just wondering if it is safe to have sex again, i really want to try again..,..

30 Anonymous { 09.03.07 at 8:32 am }

I just had a d&c on 8-21-07. Went for my first u/s a week after my doctor could not find a heartbeat after she told me not to freak out. It has been difficult for me to even see pregnant women, which is hard when I work with several of them. I want to ttc as soon as possible, but had heard so many different lengths of waiting. I just want a healthy baby and soon!

31 Anonymous { 09.04.07 at 2:21 pm }

Hi!I had a D&c done 8/14/07 it was very emotional time for me. I wanted my baby so bad. Now I am so afraid to try again, I dont want that to happen again.How long usually should a person wait until they try again?

32 Anonymous { 09.22.07 at 5:40 pm }


33 Anonymous { 09.25.07 at 7:57 pm }

I just had a spontaneous miscarriage and the doctor says my progesterone levels were really low and that the baby had been gone for at least a week prior. my body naturally lost the baby and I think I have passed all the tissue. I am only 2 days after the bleeding started and I am no longer losing any tissue. I think that I am ovulating. I can usually feel it when I ovulate each month. I wonder if I could get pregnant this quick again?? babyd2008

34 Anonymous { 11.29.07 at 8:36 am }

HI thnx for info i had d&e 11/24/07due to baby heart has not well developed(hypoplastic left heart syndrome)when doctors found it and told us baby could not alive aft delivary he will be in blue colour so hardly we took this decision to go for d&e at my 26 weeks i desperately wanted my baby it was baby boy,he was so precious to both of us but we dont want to see him die aft born hardly we went for d&e and procedure done and i hope we will defnetly get a healthy baby and what i want to say to u all is dont disappoint abt ur misscarries be strong and try for another baby good luck for all evry thing leave up to god be cool happy

35 emily { 12.21.07 at 12:49 pm }

I just had a D&E today, I am laying in bed trying to figure out when I can start trying again, time just doesn’t seem to pass fast enough at times then when you want it to slow it ust flies by. I was 17 weeks pg and had an amnio a week ago last mon. I was fully expecting a healthy baby girl, then the MD called yesterday at 2:24pm and gave me the worst news (although with empathy and compassion) my healthy baby girl was not so healthy. Apparently she had a problem with the 13th chromosome and would probably be born stillborn if not she would die shortly after birth, usually babies with this problem miscarry early, but she didn’t. We saw and heard her HB so nice and strong and I could feel her move all the way up to this morn. I am so sad and empty. I had already had a MC in Feb 07 with a D&C for a PG I didn’t even know about until it was too late.

36 cassie { 01.10.08 at 10:24 am }

I just had a d&c last week. I was 15.5 weeks pregnant and about 20 minutes before my scheduled surgery I passed my baby. I had held my little boy in a napkin on the way to the hospital because my doctor instructed me to bring him in. They still did the procedure because other than the baby, not much else was coming out. Anyways I just wanted to write and say how much I appreciated your blog…I was really unsure about everything happening to me post-D&C and you were very reassuring. Thank you again.

37 Anonymous { 01.14.08 at 8:39 pm }

Hi, it’s 1/14/08 and I had a D&E done 5 days ago. I was 10 weeks but my baby stopped growing at 7 weeks. 2 ultrasounds confirmed this. This is the worst thing I have ever gone through. My husband is not understanding, sure he was sad when we found out, but he thinks it’s time I get over it. He is in the Army reserves and leaves in 4 days for 3 weeks of training in Italy. He could get out of it if he wanted to, but he doesn’t want to. So I will be left here with my 4 year old to try and get through this on my own. I have never felt so alone in my entire life. I am sorry to all of you who have went through and are still going through such pain. R.

38 kelli110 { 04.02.08 at 5:08 pm }

ahhhh, this was just what I needed.. I had a D&E 8 days ago at 20 weeks. we found out after our quad blood screening and level 2 ultrasound that our baby girl had a rare nueral tube defect. This defect was not compatable with life. So we had to make the decision to terminate the pregnancy. Since the procedure I have been an emotional basket case. I feel like I’m on autopilot at work and have to keep a fake smile in front of others. My husband is understanding but is not going through the emotions that I am. All I can think about is getting pregnant again. I feel like my body is in withdraw from the hormones it was forced to loose so quickly. If anyone is in a similar situation and would like to talk please email me at kelli110@hotmail.com (it will go to my junkmail so please put something in the subject line that will catch my attention)
take care,

39 MissHer_080808 { 04.03.08 at 11:05 pm }

I’m 26 years old; I was 18 weeks pregnant with my first child, when the worst thing I have ever experienced in my life took place!
We were very excited going in to see my OB on March 6th 2008, to find out the sex of our first child (we even brought a video tape). The technician took a look as we laughed in excitement over the heart beat. My next breath (as it seems), I had three doctors staring at my ultrasound computer telling me that my baby girl had never developed a skull (a rare Neural Tube Disorder {0.10 chance}). They said that she had no chance of living outside of the womb and that our only option was to have a procedure called Dilation & Evacuation (D&E), it just sounded scary! I, of course, got a second opinion, but all they did was confirm my doctor’s diagnosis.
I did as much research as possible to make sure that my baby really did not have any chance of living, if I was to give birth, I mean, come on, her heart was still beating strong! My research answer: she would be a vegetable for about an hour, she wouldn’t be able to hear or feel anything then she would pass away. Right then, my decision was made. Why would I want to do any more damage to my family by carrying full term, if there was no chance for my little girl? Why would I want to do that to her? The way I saw it was, if she can’t feel anything, then it won’t hurt her, it will only hurt me (like a true mother looking out for her child). I truly felt that she would have more pain in that 1 hour of her life then if I took that life from her now.
So I decided to have the D&E. It was the worst day of my life. I understand that every loss is a loss and that no loss is more of a loss then the rest, but her heart was still beating when I had my procedure. Just the thought of them taking her from me when she was still alive, crushed me. They had to give me a sedative at the hospital.
All I remember is waking up feeling empty inside. Thank god for my family and friends or I would have never gotten through it. My only wish to those going through this sort of thing is to have a true support network. You need the people in your life that understand that it’s ok to just cry, it’s ok to feel the way that you’re feeling.
After about a week of not eating or sleeping, I called my doctor. I must have cried for about 23 hours of everyday (they prescribed me Valium – it didn’t help – it just numbed the pain for the time being). It just takes time.
Here I am, almost 4 weeks post-op and doing fine. They gave me a script for Zoloft but I really don’t think I need to fill it. What worked for me was getting back into my normal routine, work & working out (it will help you mentally & physically– I promise).
I have a follow up on the 23rd (we get the results from my amniocentesis), we will find out if it was genetic or just a fluke thing. If it was a fluke thing, we can try again as soon as I get a regular period. If it was genetic, we are considered “High Risk” and have to wait 3-6 months to try again.
To anyone that read my long story, I believe that everything happens for a reason. Your day will come, just like mine. Child Birth is truly a miracle, so don’t get discouraged if you hit a couple of bumps in the road!

40 Anonymous { 08.13.08 at 3:06 am }


41 Sandra { 08.29.08 at 4:45 am }

Hi all

I recently had a miscarraige just a week ago, I was 11 weeks gone but the doctor said my baby had stopped growing at 5 and a half weeks ended up having a d&c physically it was fine but emotionally was awful, was in a ward with other women talking about how they had heard their babys heart beat and all that it was very hard, I cried frantically for about 3 days but starting to feel better as each day goes by, I have a 1 and a half year old little boy so he helps me a lot.

My husband and I are hoping to start trying again in September or October once my period returns does anyone know would that be too soon ? ? ?

Oh I am so happy I found this website, reading all your comments makes me feel like I'm not alone during this awful time x x x x x

42 Anonymous { 09.03.08 at 11:05 am }

Hi all,

We just got confirmation that our baby died at 6w 2d and we're already in the 10th week.

Tomorrow I'm scheduled for D&C I think, I'm not too sure. I wish all of you the best…

43 Sandra { 09.03.08 at 2:48 pm }

Hi Anonymous

I am so sorry for your loss, it’s a very hard time in your life, I am only starting to feel like I’m getting back to my old self it takes a lot of time and if you feel like crying go right ahead, I always thought miscarriages happened to others but I never thought it would happen to me as I’m sure every woman who goes through this thinks this way.

You look after yourself and stay positive you will have your little one in time, get yourself back on track look after your health and believe me in no time you’ll have your precious bundle

Lot’s Of Love


44 Stav { 10.08.08 at 7:30 am }

I went to the doctors for a routine check up when i was 11.5 weeks pregnant. I mentioned to him that i wasn't feeling pregnant anymore ( I already have 3 boys) He suggested that its probably nothing, but he would do a HCG test to see how high my Levels were. The following day i get a call saying that they were extremely low and to book myself in for an ultrasound.
Early the next morning i went to the hospital for my Ultrasound and my baby had died at 8.5 weeks. I was so devastated i didn't even want to see him on the screen (I deeply regret that now) but my emotions were all over the place. The following day i had a D & C at the hospital and i was a mess. My procedure kept getting delayed cause all these emergencys kept popping up. I felt comforted every time i was delayed because i still had my baby in my womb. I was supposed to be protecting him. When the time came for the operation i went in with tears and came out with tears. I was so empty, all i wanted to do was bring him home and i couldn't even do that. My boys asked why they couldn't see him and if he was playing with his grandad in heaven. It has been one week today and i am an emotional mess. I cry everyday , i dont share my feelings with my husband because he is the type to forget and get on with things. What made it worse was when we first discovered we were expecting we weren't sure of our dates so i had an Ultrasound at 7.5 weeks and he had a strong little heartbeat. I want to give him/her a name but i dont know the sex. I want to celebrate every year the day he was due 13/04/2009. He is part of my family and if anybody asks me how many children have i had , my answer will be 4 (Always part of our family). We will be together one day, all of us.

45 TKCAnne { 12.22.08 at 9:17 pm }

Thank you for this site. I had my D&C 12 days ago. I started spotting and had an ultrasound at 8 weeks. It showed that my baby had stopped growing at 6 weeks. That was 2 days before Thanksgiving. I wanted to miscarry naturally so we waited. The spotting stopped completely and nothing was happening except that I was still nauseated. We had plans to take our kids to a water park and meet my extended family for a weekend so I opted to go ahead and have the D&C so I would not risk ruining the trip for them. I was a complete basket case. We were given the option of having a funeral home pick up our baby's remains from the hospital and have a graveside service. We did that. We didn't know our baby's sex, but both of us felt that it was a girl. We named her Hope Therese. It is comforting to me to have our baby acknowledged as a real person who died. I am finally starting to feel better emotionally. We want to try again but my doctor wants me to wait for two normal cycles.

46 Anonymous { 01.01.09 at 1:43 pm }

I had a D&E done after finding out that our baby had stopped growing at 7.6 weeks. I thought I was 9 weeks pregnant. I still had all the symptoms. I had an ultrasound done because I had had some scant brown discharge a few weeks earlier. The nurse said not to worry, and during the ultrasound I might be able to hear the baby's heartbeat. I knew something was wrong when the US tech asked if my dates could be "off."
I felt like the D&E was right for me. I wanted to move on as quickly as possible. Grieve and get conceiving again was my thought process. I find it hard to see pregnant women and not think of what stage in pregnancy I would be in if our baby had thrived. Hoping that it isnt a partial molar pregnancy and can start again soon. Follow up with surgeon in a couple of days.
My thoughts and prayers go out to all of you in this time. Keep your chin up. That's what I'm trying to do…

47 Anonymous { 01.02.09 at 12:28 am }

Hi all..
I had a D & E a week ago 26/12 and am still feeling the loss. I have been trying to get preg for a year and seeing the 2 pink lines gave me a feeling i can't describe. When i had a slight spotting 4 weeks after i found out abt my preg, i went to the A & E and the scan showed an empty amniotic sac. Doc told me it was blighted ovum. I did research and really hoped that the doc was wrong. After numerous scans and blood test, it was confirmed that the foetus never grew. After the D & E, it was so difficult to see preg ladies out there, knowing that i could have been one. The hardest part to deal was the fact that i got preg but it was unsuccessful. Reading all the above entries made me feel better as i know that i am not alone. Now, i am not sure if i wanna try again coz i don't wanna go through this again.

48 Mary { 01.04.09 at 6:14 pm }

Hi All,
My story is a bit different from all the ones here I have been reading….. My Husband and I have a stunning 3 year old girly girl, I so badly want to give her a sibling or 2/3/4 so she isnt alone in the world after her parents are gone. Our journey started when she turned 1.5 we decided yup its time…….. We started I got an immidate results well at least I thought anyway, it was over for me and the second one was on the way…….So just to make sure I was still pregnant I took another pee test 2 days later and wala the line had almost disapeared, I was like wa whats that? Call my OB go in he gives me a blood test says your not pregi and then proceeds to tell me its somthing called a chemical pregancy and not to worry its very common come back if you have any more…..So we keep trying next month again, and then again the month after………. Blood work out the wazoo all normal chromazomes checked nothing is wrong…. OB says your just having bad luck it will happen keep trying 6 more chemical pregnancys later one finally sticks yahoo Im pregnant big relif….. at 2 month I had a small bleed that was fine it went away….. 12w scan I had a high risk for downs they suggest amnio…. I think hard about it and then decied to go ahead with it…. which was the dummest thing I have ever decided to do….. HAd it done all was fine got the results in 4weeks all was fine nothing wrong baby Violet was great… Great yahoo rejoice Im 20 weeks and we did itYAHOO!The follwing week go to bed with gas I think anyway what else could it be???? WAke up next morning they are comming every 5 minutes go to hosp get admitted….. Have ultra sound all is fine bub is happy and moving around, give me pills to stop contractions they stop I have a good day in the hospital no cramps or contractions I think is over Im going home in the morning… Go to sleep get woken up by the mother of all contractions water breaks….. Need less to say Miss Violet was born with no pain management the next day she lived and died in my arms I was 22 weeks……….I really thought I was going to die from a broken heart if it wasnt from my daughter I would not be here today it was the hardest day of my life and will remain with me forever…….Miss Violet was so beautiful she had my husbands feet and hands a tiny little nose she was perfect in every way and I fucked it up because I had a to go and have that stupid amnio…. It has been documented that an amnio can cause misscarry up untill 18 weeks after it s been done, I lastd 5/6 weeks and then she came, I didnt need a D&C because it was complete atleast thats what they said….. Went for second oppinon after I didnt stop bleeding a month later …. Oh ya there was a big ol peice of somthing left over in there and if It didnt come out in a week then I was to have a D&C becasue of odvious reasons…. Thank goodness it came out….. So I wait the required time to start again and we start one, two chemical pregancys…Im ready to stop just throw in the towel accept defeat and take a break. Waw October 15 comes and goes and I decide to wait 2 more day before I test because if it was another chemical I would be just so let down… It wasnt it was so pink I was elated ELATED…. I kept it to my self for a week before I told anyone after all it had to be better than the last time right? Finaly I tell my Hubby he was stoked we decided to keep it hush hush till christmas we let it out at xmass dinner it was great my family and his were all stoked for us! Have my scan at 8 weeks all is well baby is the right size and all implnat looks great heartbeat is strong looks great… Again we go home STOKED! Was due to go bad in Jan for the next appoint ment at 13 weeks…. Couldnt wait to hear the heart beat again….. The cramps started on the morning of the day before12/30 New Years eve…. No blood so Im still good called my Gp she is awesome and set me up for a scan to show me all was well and that I dont need to worry its for the next morning. I say cool and just sit in bed on bed rest till then. Mean whils I have this really cool feeling that all is just going to be fine it was really weird. The cramps were light all day even stopping at one point for a little while….. Then around dinner time they started again no to bad very managable so I went to be and went to sleep, got up to check on the little on checked my pad and there it was blood again not happy this time but still have a weird sence that it was still fine.. Get up go to scan opp in the am thinking it was over I would see no heart beat I was bleeding and had cramps that equils m/c is eminit….. The Doc puts the prob on the my belly and I nearly fainted there it was a strong heart beat a big amnio sac and the little fella was as happy as could be swimming around it was amazing!!!!!! There was no separtaion of the placenta that was fine there were no clots nothing it was all fine. I was stoked it was fine Ya Right………. It was fine till I stared to bleed heavily again that night I know it was over when that came out of me. Was just going to stay home and have the m/carry at home why not I did the last one with out and pain med why bother with this one Im only 11 weeks to the day…. Husband says no your going and thats it. So I go it takes them so long to get to me that Im in the pushing stage and the baby is comming soon. The pain was actually worse then before with the last one they gave me pethadine and all of you out there that have had it know it does NOTHING!!! Gave birth to my little boy at 10:30am New Years eve….Im so heart broken because as you have ready read he was alive and happy just hours before… Im so ovrwhelmed and unhappy about the entire thing I feel like they arent picking up somthing….. I feel helpless…….. I had the D&C 2 days ago It sucked and Im still bleeding a bit. I go see my doctor tomorrow…. We will see what he says! But Im sure there will be no answers or solutions either. This is so F%CKING frustrating! If anyone has any answers for me please send them bustysurfco@gmail.com I look forward to chating to you about this whole mess………..Thanks for reading.

49 Anonymous { 01.27.09 at 11:45 am }

Dear Mary, I’m so sorry for your loss…you have been through so much! I had a D&E at 8 weeks last month and it was my first pregnancy loss. We knew there were problems at 6 weeks since initially there was only a faint heartbeat and then no heartbeat. I never had any bleeding or cramps so I thought everything was fine. I kept hoping with each ultrasound that maybe everything would be OK. I already have an 18 mo old son and thank God for him! The doctor says we can try again after two periods. I’ll be 40 this year so hopefully we’ll be able to have another child. I have fertility issues and we have been trying since my son was 9 mo old. It took us three years to get pregnant with my son and he has been such a blessing! As hard as it is losing a baby I think in difficult situations it helps to count your blessings. Thank God you have a wonderful 3 year old daughter and a very supportive husband. I truly hope that your next pregnancy is a success and that you have a happy and healthy baby! Baby dust to all!!!!

50 Susan { 01.29.09 at 8:03 pm }

I had a D&C due to very heavy/irregular periods about 2 years ago (i had alot of polyps on my uterus), since then my periods were perfect and on the day exactly every month up until 7 months ago, they were sproadic, and i went back to passing blood clots, not getting a period, or having a period for a day or 2. My doc ordered another sonohyst for tomorrow and said if there are more polyps and i had results like i did with the last sonohyst, another D&C may be in order. Would having more than one D&C affect my chances of having children in the future? I had discussed this with him IN CASE he even mentions D&C tomorrow and he said that he is very cautious about how he does his D&C esp. considering i would like to have children in the future. Any help would be appreciated.

51 Anonymous { 03.03.09 at 3:49 pm }

Thank you so much for this information. I really, really appreciate it. I haven’t found anything this thorough and thoughtful anywhere else, and it really meant a lot to me.

52 Anonymous { 03.06.09 at 3:02 pm }

This has been so helpful. On Feb 19, 2009 I found out that I had miscarried. On the 21st I had a D&E to remove the fetus. It was so hard emotionally. I was told that I would never be able to have a baby because of PCOS, so when I found out I was pregnant, It was a true miracle and blessing from above. I had a rough time after the D&E, because my emotions were so up and down and I was heart broken. This was all I had ever wanted, then I had it, and it was taken away from me in the blink of an eye. I thank God everyday, and pray that one day I will be able to have a healthy baby. My heart goes out to anyone that has to go through the loss of a baby. You al have great strength within yourselves.

53 Anonymous { 03.25.09 at 6:37 pm }

Thank you! I had a D&C a week ago. I was 13 weeks and baby stopped growing at 6. I had no signs of a miscarrage, just my gut feeling something wasn't right. Anyways, the past couple of days I have been bleeding more than I did right after the D&C. And just now I had bloody tissue show on my toilet paper. Was kinda worried something was wrong, but while waiting on hold with my hospital I read this and put me at ease, and decided to just call the doc tomorrow. I am not soaking pads so I think I will be fine. thanks

54 Anonymous { 03.30.09 at 3:58 pm }

I had my third miscarriage last week 3/27. I am so sad, and I miss each of my babies so much.

This time instead of miscarrying naturally I had a D&C, so the fetal tissue can be tested. I just want them to figure out what's wrong with me. Why I can't seem to hold on to a pregnancy.

My husband and I have been trying for 18 months, and I don't know how much more I can take. He is amazing and supportive, but it's just weighing on me.

I'm 27, so every day it seems I find out that a friend of mine is pregnant. It's hard to watch your loved ones get pregnant with just a wink from their partner and we struggle.

I just pray that we catch a break, and that things improve in our lives soon.

I just had to get it out, I know this is an area to post about the procedure, but I just had to get it out. Thanks for letting me post my grief.

Good luck to all of you out there, I hope you all have healthy babies soon!

55 Anonymous { 04.10.09 at 9:14 pm }

I'm scheduled for D&C on monday after finding out yesterday that the baby stopped growing at 9 weeks… this will be my second D&C since 05/05/06. I have a 5 yr old daughter and have been wanting to have a sibling for her.. but it nearly took 3 yrs to get pregnant again after last m/c… This time seems much harder to cope with the loss esp since we were very excited.. however, due to my first m/c at 10 weeks, each obgyn visits have been with so much anxiety and fear.. dreading the worst. I've been purposely putting all our baby stuffs in the storage until we know for sure since we're making a big move in few months. We decided to wait until few more weeks to share the good news, and now we have to go thru another one sad loss. I'm going to be 39 end of this year and the hope of getting pregnant seem so far off… it's hard to say goodbye to our babies..and wondering if there were anyways to have prevented. I drank some coca cola & ate sushi even after finding out about the pregnancy.. and took numerous long hours of travels within past two weeks which were unavoidable.. now wondering if any of these could have caused it. I guess one thing that gives me some assurance is that, if the baby wasn't strong enough to make it to 10 weeks, he/she wouldn't have survive thru the full term. One additional thing about this second m/c is that, i had minor poking sensation since at 6 weeks and last week, I felt continuous pressure in my bottom and had to sit down which was similar to feeling when I felt the day before I went in to deliver my daughter. I also had one incident of bright red smear last monday, but after reading thru many websites, decided not to worry since it seemed to be okayto have some spottong and decided to wait until my scheduled check up this week esp sine I was out of town. I really enjoyed being pregnant second time again, and I only wish that all this was a dream. But, today, I'm starting to bleed little on and off and feeling abodominal pressure. I'm wondering how things will change over this weekend until my scheduled procedure.


56 Anonymous { 04.25.09 at 9:25 pm }

Thank you for this – very helpful.

57 MelissaB { 06.08.09 at 7:39 am }

On 5/2/09 I went to the ER with severe cramping and a fever. I was 13.4 months preg with our 4th baby. In the waiting room (yes, they had me sitting out there for an hour even though my pain was at a 10 and I told them I thought I was miscarrying) I felt a gush of fluid and ran into the restroom where I started to bleed. They finally took me back, and started the exam. I could see my baby on the US screen, and see it't heart beating. Within seconds the doctor was telling me that my baby was gone. Next thing I know they are all rushing around and trying to get me into surgery because I had started to bleed out. 20 minutes later I was in the OR undergoing a D & C. I required two blood transfusions and developed a fever of 105 which I was given loads of antibiotics for. This was easily the worst day of my life. This baby had been talked about ad dreamed of for years, and was going to complete our family. My husband was deployed to Iraq, and I had to go through this without him by my side. May 2nd is also my husband's birthday. Because my loss occurred in the ER, I feel I did not recieve a very high level of care or compassion. No one ever once attempted to talk to me about what had happened, or what to expect afterwards. The only words I heard were "It's not your fault, there was nothing you could have done, or did do" It sounded like an auto response. Here it is a month later, and still no medical support. I have not even been able to get in for my follow up because of the way military facilities are set up for after care. My hCG levels are back to zero, and I have started my first cycle now. I am having heavy bleeding, and can find very little info on what to expect for your first period after. It has been a very long and emotional month, and there are times I want to talk about it, but am not sure where to turn. I have so many questions. My husband tries, but it is painful for us both.

58 MelissaB { 06.08.09 at 7:45 am }

Um, in my above post I meant 13.4 WEEKS not months….sorry :)

59 jenniferjm { 07.06.09 at 3:21 pm }

I just had my third D&E (1 of dd conceived by IUI @ 33, developed to 6.5 wks, then live birth of ds conceived by IVF #34, then another D&E after natural conception @35 of another dd (w/downs) developed only to 10 wks (discovered @14 wks), then live birth of ds#2 naturally conceived at 37, then D&E #3 4 days ago after another natural conception @39 developed to 8.5 wks (discovered @ 12 wks). I had forgotten the sore throat, fluid retention, cramps, bloating, etc. Follow-up appt. in 2 weeks and then ttc for a few months and going for 4 frozen embryos left from IVF. Thanks for your post.

60 CoriAnn { 07.22.09 at 2:22 pm }

I had a miscarriage on Feb 19, and just recently started feeling funny and decided to take a pregnancy test. Walllla!! It came up Positive!! I am so excited because I was told that i would NEVER have babies because of PCOS, and this is my 2nd pregnancy this year. I can only pray that this will be my HEALTHY MIRACLE baby, the one that I have always dreamed about. Having the miscarriage in Febuary was completly devistating to me and I have asked God several times to bless me with a healthy baby. I truly beleive there was a reason that I lost the baby before and in my heart I pray that this time will be different. I hope the best for all of you. My heart goes out to anyone that has felt that lose.

61 Stephanie { 07.27.09 at 10:23 am }

I am an emotional basket case, and this explains why. I am so sad, and upset, and angry. But I will and have been dealing with it…..and this post made it a lot easier!

62 Anonymous { 08.01.09 at 9:37 am }

This was a great help. I just had a d&c yesterday and it has been the hardest thing i've ever had to do. Today is more hopeful but still sad. I've taken this next week off work as i am a hairstylist and i made the mistake of starting to tell people last week. I just don't think I can be around people that are co-workers more than friends just yet. I also don't want to talk about it, I'd just like to be for awhile. I'll include the poem i wrote early yesterday morning when i couldn't sleep. I have found that writing my feelings in a journal over the past few days has really let me say whats in my heart, AND see the hopelessness and devastation subside as time goes on. Even if it was a random sentance or angry word, it got written down. I really recommend this because sometimes is really hard saying the things you're thinking to your loved ones. xoxox good luck lovely women, we're stronger than we think.

Inside my muscle and sinew,
We conceived you, we loved you.

Not the real truth deep inside,
Your heart died, my body lied.

Tissue and bones too fragile,
The idea becomes a memory.
Facing what seems unbearable,
The bad dream is now a reality.

63 Coriann { 08.28.09 at 7:47 am }

On August 14 my whole world came crashing down yet once again. I was told that although I was 10 weeks pregnant, my baby quit growing at 8 weeks and there was no heart beat. So another D&C was scedueled for August 18. I tried to be strong infront of others, but completly fell apart when I was alone. The doctor says that it is not considered a "Hibitual Miscarriage" untill after I have a third one. But he is going to do the genetic testing in a few weeks to hopefully give us some answers. I am 35 years old and trying to stay positive that someday my miracle baby will come, but its really starting to be difficult.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how long to wait between trying? I was almost 6 months to the day between my two miscarriages. I'm just lost right now…

64 Camille { 09.30.09 at 4:38 pm }

I did my d/c on September 30, 2009. I tried not to think about because I felt it was my only chance of having a baby and now it is gone. I just feel so empty inside.I am glad I found this site it is very reassuring. I am just wondering how long will it take for me to be back on my regular cycle?

65 Lynn T { 02.03.10 at 8:12 pm }

Sorry for everyones losses, i myself on January 29,2010 had a D&C. It has been very emotional my doctor gave the pregnancy every chance but like i have seen in other comments my pregnancy stopped growing at 6 weeks 4 days so i opted to have the D&C because the natural miscariage wasn’t starting on its own. When i woke up from the procedure being done i knew it was done and i needed to move on. The nurses were wonderful. But now i am more than ready to TTC A.S.A.P. if someone would please email me at lynn_trahan@att.net and tell me what the normal amount of waiting time is before TTC again is i would like to know. I am going back on the 11th of February for my two week checkup and i was thinking about asking her if i could start trying immediatly. What is everyones thoughts on this

66 Holly { 03.10.10 at 7:07 pm }

Thank you for this website full of information. I just loss our daughter at 24 weeks, her heart was no longer beating and she had IUGR so she was measuring more like 20 weeks. Having made the decision to have a D&E instead of induction was hard but the emotional toll of labor would have been worse. Your website gave me more information making me feel secure with my decision.

67 Sarah in Huntsville { 03.29.10 at 5:02 pm }

I had my first D&C for a 10-week miscarriage on July 7, 2009. I had my second D&C for a 13-week miscarriage on February 24, 2010. Both times, the miscarriage was determined when we went in for a regular checkup and found no heartbeat.

It is an extremely difficult decision whether or not to have a D&C, and this site has some good information. In particular, the advice to not rush back to work right away is SPOT ON. Miscarriage is devastating, and there’s nothing wrong or weak about taking the time you need to grieve.

68 Brenda { 04.24.10 at 1:02 am }

It has been over 10 years and I still wonder what really happened. I was pregnant and heard the heart beat and was pretty sick with morning sickness. I still remember the day I felt “better” and wondered why I felt so good. I was wearing maternity clothes because it was my third pregnancy and my other children were so excited about the baby. I went to my regular check up alone because my husband went to the other ones and this was just a normal “check up” and the nurse and Dr. could not find the heartbeat. After another “high tech” ultrasound it confirmed that the baby must have died. The next day I went in for a D&E. To this day I wonder so many things….and wish I asked more questions. This happened around Memorial Day weekend and every year at this time is very difficult for me. I don’t know if anyone else remembers but I will never forget. Since then we have been blessed with another child. Thank you for letting me share my story. If you are in this situation and are deciding what to do…ask a lot of questions! I regret to this day that I didn’t ask more questions like was my child a boy or a girl?

69 Camey { 06.19.10 at 8:35 am }

My sincerest condolences to everyone who’s posted on this thread. Having a miscarriage is truly one of the worst experiences a couple can have. I’ve lost 4 pregnancies in the last two years: I had a D&C for a blighted ovum at around 6.5 weeks, a natural miscarriage around 6 weeks, a chemical pregnancy, and then a D&E at 20 weeks after our daughter was diagnosed with a severe brain defect. The last was by far the worst–second trimester losses are their own brand of hell.

One thing I want to add that I don’t think others have mentioned is that second trimester D&Es are typically a two day procedure. On the first day, they start the dialation process by inserting laminaria sticks into your cervix. These are actually made of seaweed and gradually expand as they absorb cervical fluid. I had to go in once in the morning to have the first batch inserted, and again in the afternoon for the second batch. This was the most painful part of the D&E procedure, both physically and emotionally. I was prescribed Vicadin and high-dose ibuprofen which helped with the pain. The actual D&E procedure was scheduled in the afternoon of the second day. They put me completely under for that procedure, and compared to the first day, it was a piece of cake.

A few final notes: many insurance companies will not cover second trimester D&Es if the mother’s life is not threatened, regardless of the viability of the pregnancy. It can be a very expensive procedure to have done in a hospital–we were given an estimate of $13,000! Fortunately, our insurance did ultimately cover everything, but only after much haggling with lawyers and other people responsible for the management of my husband’s health plan. Also, not all states allow second trimester D&Es, so you may have to travel to have the procedure done. As if the trauma of finding out that your child is sick, dying, or already dead isn’t enough…

Best of luck to all of you–I hope you get you’re happy ending very soon!

70 Natasha { 08.16.10 at 2:08 pm }

Just found out at 11.4wks that there was no heartbeat and no formation of the skull and brain. I was told to have a D&C, its scheduled for tomorrow 8-17-10. I was shocked by the news as our 8wk ultrasound was normal and i have all the signs of pregnancy. I feel a deep loss now and not sure I will be able to get through work later this week when I intend to go back.
Reading all the entries at this website was very helpful and I feel more prepared on what to expect tomorrow and in the days to come. Thank you all for your words of advise. This loss was heartbreaking as it was our 1st pregnancy following frozen embryo transfer and after 14mos of trying with fertility treatment including IUI, IVF. We will remain hopeful for the future and pray that the Lord will bless us down the road.

71 Chicago { 10.03.10 at 8:48 pm }

I’m so sorry that we are all here. My prayers are with you all and your angel babies.

I had a D&C on 9/29. The day before, it was confirmed by ultrasound – there was no baby, just empry sacs of fluid. Preliminary lab reports show a partial molar pregnancy. Not only have we lost the baby, but we have concerns for my health. I want to have another child, but we aren;t sure how long we have to wait to TTC and I am 41. I did great after the D&C, as well as the day after. I had little spotting, almost no cramps, and was just a bit tired. On the 2nd day following, I didn’t feel well. I had some pain. Still only spotting. The 3rd day, OK, in fact I swicthed to pantyliners because it was so light. Today – the 4th day after, I was dizzy this am, and have had quite a bit of cramping today. I’m bleeding, more than I have during this entire process. Not enough to soak a pad an hour, but I really didn’t bleed even after the procedure. I started the pill today and I’m wondering if that has something to do with this. More hormones to confuse my system!

I hope you are all well.

72 Renea { 10.09.10 at 6:51 pm }

Thank you for your info and input on this subject.

73 Crystal { 10.18.11 at 11:17 pm }

Thank you for this information! I just experienced my first miscarriage and the emotional toil was harder to bear than the physical hardships. I am returning to work 6 days after this miscarriage, and for other women who are experiencing this- I can echo most of the things said here, but please do yourself a favor and take care of yourself! Take care of your emotional well-being before returning to work. It is the best thing for you and your body. I was lucky that I had a support system in place that helped me recognize how important resting was after my D&E. Trust me when I say, missing a week of work to support your emotional well-being is the best thing you can do for yourself. God bless you! Philippians 4:13 and Psalm 23.

74 Liz Pagan { 11.12.11 at 9:20 am }

I have found this website to be extremely helpful. I went in for a routine OB visit on 11/9/11 and was told that no fetal heartbeat was detected – I was 15.6 weeks. The week before Dr saw the baby moving and heart beat looked good (on 11/3/11). So I am confused, frustrated and devastated. I was given the options of having a D&E or going into labor, I am opting for a D&E because I do not think I can handle all tyhat comes along with being induced and going into labor. Unfortunately, I was not able to find a hospital/dr that could see me and do the actual procedure until Fri 11/18/11… so I am sitting home and crying until then. I am also worried about how waiting will impact my health. This is too much for anyone to handle. I am trying to keep my head on straight as I have a beautiful 6 yr old son that brings a smile to my face everyday – and my husband has ben an amazing support through all of this. I am sorry to read about all your losses, but will say that this has been helpful to read and get a lot of useful information.

75 Chickenpig { 01.06.12 at 12:43 pm }

Thank you, yet again for this wonderful website and resource. It has been 2 weeks now since my D&C, and this reminded me that I have to make my follow up appointment.

76 Liz Pagan { 02.14.12 at 8:20 pm }

so on 2/9/12 it marked 3 months since we found out our little one no longer had a heartbeat (i was 16weeks when we lost what would have been our 2nd child). this weekend will also mark the 12 weeks since i had my D&E. i am so scared and so confused about where i go next. do i try to conceive again and fear the worst the whole time. or do i accept that GOD gave me my son (he’s 6) and that is my one blessing and I should be grateful and move on. i have so many what if’s….

77 Karla { 03.22.12 at 6:03 pm }

This is such a great go to site when I have questions, thank you! So my journey with a miscarriage began the beginning of January when I went in for my 8 wk check up to be told that the embryo was only showing to be 5.5 wks and could I be off on the dates! I was very sure about my dates so then I knew something was wrong. They wanted me to come back in a week to see if anything has changed but at that time there was no heartbeat, which I was told could be normal at such an early stage. So the long week went by and the same results after the ultra sound. So they confirmed a miscarriage in which I chose to wait it out to see if my body would naturally miscarry. At this point I had no cramps nor bleeding, so no known sign of a miscarriage. After about
5 days of waiting for something to happen I decided for a d&c. Everything seemed to go well I didn’t feel any pain after being put under. I bled for maybe 2-3 days, very light and everything seemed to be over. 3 wks later I had a day of spotting which I assumed was a first light period. 28 days later I began another “period” and bled for 3 days and was a little heavier than normal. So then I had about 2 days of no blood and I assumed that was my second cycle and I could ttc again! Well 2 days later I had major cramps (I never get period cramps)then starts bleeding again, very heavy and very clotty! This time 8 days went by of bleeding and I passed a thick whitish grey tissue. I then called the dr with concern of what the hell it was so they saw me the next day and still said must just be a heavy period! That night I ended up in the ER cause I had unbelievable amount of blood gush out of me as I sat in the toilet clots and blood poured out. The emergency room visit ended up saying its just a heavy period because on the sonogram it showed I was not pregnant and that everything looked ok! Sooooo the next day my results from the dr visit said I was pregnant but very low count. So basically my body had got rid of the last of what was left over from a d&c 2 months prior. I’m not sure how I never got an infection?!?? Waiting for a follow up dr appt next week. So always make sure your blood level is where it’s supposed to be after a d&c cause mine was never checked to make sure I wasn’t still showing a positive test

78 Jill { 04.09.12 at 4:41 pm }

Very helpful website. And just like everyone else so sorry that we have to be hear sharing our stories. My story goes like this. First m/c was in April of 2011 and I was 8.5 weeks along. Went for my check up and no heartbeat. Did a d & c the next week. Got preg for the second time and saw hb at 6.5 weeks and again at 8.5 weeks. However at 10.5 weeks I started spotting and cramping like a really really bad period. Saw he dr. the next day and did emergency d & c but before we went into surgery I passed the baby. We did all the testing that they usually do after the 3rd and all the results came back normal. Even saw a reproductive endrocroniglist. and He said all was fine. So we waited a few months and got preg again for 3rd time. Again, saw heartbeat at 6.5 wees and went in for our 9 week appointment and there was no heartbeat. Had a D & C on Friday April 6, 2012. They did sendthe fetal tissue off this time to have it tested at Washington University. Have not had hardly any bleeding but have had really bad cramps this time. I am wondering where do we go from here? and when should we start trying again? Or would you? I just would like to talk to someone who has/is im my situation. Thank you all for listening and I would appreciate any feedback.

79 tracy { 04.12.12 at 10:57 pm }

This was all very helpful to me. I’m so sorry for everyone’s loss I just had two miscarriages back to back both at 14 weeks and no development after 8 weeks I had the first natural and 2nd a d&c. I don’t know what’s going on with me I already have 2 children 6 and 4 years old with my ex why does this keep happening. Please post back if you have any advice I’m only 26 years old.

80 Liz { 04.13.12 at 6:05 pm }

to all I am sorry to hear of your losses; it has been 5 months since I lost my 16 week pregnancy (see my story posted above). my due date for this baby would have been 4/26 so these next few weeks will be tough for me I am sure. this was my 2nd m/c … I have my 6yr old son who gives me the greatest sense of strength, I am blessed to have him. my husband and I are meeting with a fertility specialist in our city who also specializes in recurring pregnancy loss. i have been going to therapy since my last m/c and she recommended him. he had me do a battery of blood work last week and he will see us in beginning of May. I am hoping for the best news possible with regard to trying again.
@Jill and Tracy – maybe that could be your next step – not sure if you have looked into it already. good luck and many blessings to all.

81 Jill { 04.17.12 at 5:08 pm }

Liz–I have already seen a reproductive endocrinoligst. All of our resluts have come back normal. That was after our second miscarriage. Now we have had our third micarriage and they sent the fetal tissue off this time. The longest we have made any of our pregnancies has been about 10 weeks. We are still waiting on the results….getting pregnant is not the problem…I guess staying pregnant is the problem. I had never heard of a D & E until this website. What is the recovery time on one of those? and how much is it like a D & C?

82 Liz { 04.17.12 at 8:37 pm }

Jill, again I am sorry to hear of your losses. I had lots of tests done on me and the fetus after my D&E, and same – everything came back normal. I am hoping this specialist I am scheduled to see will shed some more light on this for me. I never had a D&C but from my experience I can tell you that the D&E was a dilation and evacuation (of the pregnancy). I was 16.2 weeks, and they told me I could be induced to actually give birth but I knew I was not strong enough to do that. So I opted for the surgery, it was ambulatory, I went in at 7am and was home that afternoon. It is a 2 day process, they do the dilation process on one day and then the actual removal of the fetus on the 2nd day. It was something I had never experienced before – very sad, heartbreaking, confusing… the only positive was the actual drs and hospital were so sensitive to my circumstances and treated me so compassionately. I was home for a week, in bed 1st 2-3 days. Then slowly got back into my routine light bleeding for about a week, and light cramps. Then 2 weeks later a post op visit. I will keep you posted on my dr visit at the end of the month. Stay strong, have faith.

83 Jill { 04.19.12 at 2:37 pm }

Liz, I am also sorry for your loss. Yes definetly keep me posted on how your visit goes and I will do the same for. I wish we could talk more in private about things cause I have found it helps to talk to people who are going through the same things. Goo luck to you and all of us.

84 Liz { 04.21.12 at 9:31 am }

Jill, thanks and yes it does help to talk to people who have been through this. I was grateful to find this website, and I am also in therapy and it has helped. This month is hard for me (due date was 4/26), I am surrounded by friends who have recently had their babies or are expecting. I have to believe that my chance will come. There is a blessing out there for all of us. Best wishes to you all.

85 Denise { 04.26.12 at 4:45 pm }

Thank you for posting this information. I’ve been recovering from a 13 week miscarriage that happend 2 weeks ago, and the D and E was all day, the day before my birthday. It’s going to be hard- the due date was my wedding anniversary- so now I have these 2 major dates (birthday and anniversary) linked to this awful event. There’s so much suffering on this page that it’s sad- but it also tells ME how amazing so many women are- so many of us are dealing with these things that you’d never think in a million years we should have to. I hope to get to a place of strength soon. For now, I am determining how to grieve and am trying various things. I gave myself a week of eating junk food, and now I’m trying to get back to my old exercise routine for my mental and emotional health (and because I really don’t want to look pregnant when I’m not!) The question raised by others- is one I have- and that’s if I will try again. I do have a young old son from IVF that is my joy and I’m so grateful for him. I’ve experienced many disappointments and setbacks from infertility- this isn’t the first. But I don’t know if I can go through it again. Or should go through it again. I may be satisfied with what I’ve got… best wishes to all the women warriors out there who travel this path.

86 Denise { 04.26.12 at 4:46 pm }

ha! by ‘young old’ I meant ‘young’ or ‘2 year old’ but not both together!

87 Liz { 04.26.12 at 8:54 pm }

Denise – sorry for your loss and the tie it has to some important dates in your life. Today was my due date – I lost my 16.2 weeks pregnancy in Nov (story above). I was a mess all day today and nothing helped. I too have a child he is 6 and my absolute strength and reason for smiling everyday. The strength comes but it takes some time, it’s been 5 months for me, therapy and a good support system helps. We are still so frightened about ttc again, but hope that we will know in our hearts when its right. Best wishes to you on your recovery and take all the time you need. (Totally got you on looking pregnant I was wearing maternity clothes and coming off of that was one of the hardest things after the loss).

88 Denise { 05.01.12 at 11:55 pm }

Liz- I’m sorry about your past date on 4/26. That’s not a date I’m looking forward to (my due date.) and I’ve got 2 friends due at the same time and so far everything looks great for them (which I am glad for, and a little jealous…) I heard today from the genetic counselor that my fetus had trisomy 16 and was female. She also said that it was rare for a trisomy 16 to survive that long- usually they m/c much earlier. So yay me for sticking it out for 13 weeks (ha.) Ah well… I hope that with time , the raw pain will go away and I will refocus on life. I turned 37 the day after the D and E, and know rates of aneuploidies only gets higher the older I get. I don’t know if I want to risk the pain again- my first was from IVF so I didn’t think I could even get pregnant. I’m putting my love into my son and husband…

89 Liz { 05.03.12 at 7:45 pm }

Denise – you are so right to focus on your son and husband. I have been doing that and will continue to do so. My visit with my specialist went well… I did find out that I am carrying a gene that causes Thrombophylia (sp?). Basically my blod clots faster and way more than it should during the first stages of the pregnancy and blood clot(s) can form in the placenta, which dangerous. Likely how I lost this last pregnancy. So odds are it will happen again – and while there are ways to treat this condition during the pregnancy, it will require daily shots. I am 37, Type 1 Diabetic and now with this – that means a lot more work and nervousness. I have not given up on my desire to have another child. But the pressure I am putting on myself is becoming too much to deal with. So I am going to focus on my loves, and my life day to day, and give myself some time to come to thr right decision with no added pressure. I know the right decision will come with time. If it is meant to be then it will be. I have been blessed with my son – and I appreciate that bc some women have not yet had that chance. Lets stay in touch! May you keep having better days!

90 CC { 05.18.12 at 9:06 am }

Hello Everyone,

Just 1 week ago today I had a D&E after the death of my baby girl “Charley” at 27 weeks and 5 days. After series of abnormal blood tests the amniocentesis revealed that she had a rare genetic condition (Mosaic trisomy 9). My husband and I both are physicians and knew that the diagnosis had a poor prognosis but we were hopeful for a miracle. No amount of knowledge or research could prepare us for the feelings of loss and grief that we’ve experienced since the death of our first child. To make matters worse this all happened just before mother’s day and my milk actually came in on mother’s day. I understand the pain that so many of you feel, watching friends and family go through pregnancies without complications and deliver happy, healthy babies. I thank you all for being so honest and sharing your pain and grief in this forum. The road ahead does seem bleak at times but I am prayerful and hopeful that my arms will be filled with a health baby of my own in the near future. Thank you and I wish you all well.

91 Liz { 05.19.12 at 9:49 pm }

CC – I am so sorry to read of your loss. Your Charley is with all of our baby angels. It is definitely a long road (been a little over 6 months for me now). Time and the healing that slowyl comes make the days a bit easier to handle. Still have blue days… still cry and feel sad. But I too remain hopeful that my husband and I will be able to have another baby to love. I wish you all the best in your healing process. May a blessing find its way to you and us all.

92 Mel { 05.21.12 at 9:40 pm }

Wow I can see Im not alone. Im 43 and got the shock of my life when I found out I was pregnant for first time ever! We thought it was not possible and were not trying. I figured at my age way too risky. Went in last thursday so excited to hear little ones heart beat, little more than 10 weeks and like so many others it was only the size of 6 half week fetus… no heartbeat. I am scheduled tomorrow for one more sonogram and then D&C wends. I was fine being an Aunt until I felt a mothers love! My husband is worried about us even trying again and altho I hate the thought of going thru this heart break again, I feel if I don’t try just one more time I will regret it forever….

93 bobbie { 05.22.12 at 6:30 pm }

I had a D&C Suction done, 2 weeks ago, i am still so heart broken, theres nothing more miserable and sad then loosing your baby. My dr. says to wait 2 to 3 months before trying again, which im sure we will, but if we decide to try sooner at any time will that be ok, and will the baby be ok if i do get pregnant again soon?

94 Denise { 05.24.12 at 8:27 pm }

Mel – so sorry for your loss, I also was unexpectedly pregnant since we thought we couldn’t conceive., and weren’t trying. Lost at 13 weeks. Now I too feel like I’ve been bitten by the ‘baby bug’. Don’t know if I want to see if it happens again – the loss was traumatic enough to do once! Good luck sorting through your journey.

95 Kim { 06.03.12 at 9:51 pm }

I just had an induced labor of our son, Gabriel Evan at 22 weeks 2days. At our 20 week anatomy scan, they diagnosed me with very little amniotic fluid and the baby has bilateral renal agenesis (no kidneys) which is a fatal fetal abnormality. Our Gabriel lived for 11 minutes in our arms and we held him for about 10 hours afterwards. My dr ended up bringing me to the OR to get the placenta out and I begged her not to damage my uterus so she said she barely had to do a D&C and was very gentle. My question is… I have barely had any bleeding. the first coupe of days was lighter than a period and today I have had none ( 4 days out of the procedure)…. is this normal??? My 2 previous births have been full term and the bleeding was normal. Besides being an emotional wreck, I am now worried that something is wrong…. my milk has come in and I am still recovering from a epidural that hit a ligament along with being constipated despite fiber powder and max dosages of stool softner/ laxative…. can anyone offer advise? I have a follow up on Weds afternoon… thanks

96 Denise { 06.07.12 at 5:01 pm }

Hi Kim- I’m sorry for your loss… I hope by now your doctor has checked you out physically for your question on lack of bleeding.
In my case, I had a D and E at 13 weeks and I’ve never stopped bleeding- and it’s 7.5 weeks later. I did go on birth control pills starting 5 days after the procedure and my doctor told me (1) it’s ‘normal’ to bleed after a D and E, and expected (as long as it’s not heavy and I don’t have a fever) and (2) that birth control pills also can cause light bleeding. I’m also going for a re-check- but due to constante bleeding and spotting. While in my case, much of it may be from the pills, I can say that for the 5 days post D and E, without pills, that I did bleed moderately the entire time. That said- pregnancy, bleeding, physical and emotional reactions truly seem to vary. While I believe bleeding is probably very common- I could imagine NOT bleeding is likely as well (perhaps since she was gentle on the D and C.) You might ask your doctor to do an ultrasound to check your lining, perhaps a blood test for HCG levels (and ask when they should recover to zero), and also whether you might bleed a lot at your next period (if there’s a lot of lining to shed.) In my case, the D and E removed my fetus so my doctor may have needed to be more aggressive in the process to avoid leaving anything in- in your case, this might not have been needed. Good luck.

97 kiran { 06.09.12 at 5:46 pm }

sorry for the loss everyone.
i had 3 m/c and then i had one normal precious baby boy and after 4 yrs i tried agin and end up having a m/c again. This time i dont have any husband support at all and i am very depressed feel like crying all the time.
I just cant wait to try again. When should i try agin.
Plz pray for me everyone with the the same trauma situation.

98 Jill { 06.11.12 at 12:45 pm }

I am thankful you posted on here. Your story gives me hope. I have also had 3 m/c and I want to try again but I needed to hear a stroy from someone who also has had 3 mc but has had a healthy baby. I know it gives me as well as others hope. So sorry that you have had to go through this too. It has been 2 months since my third one but I am trying to be positive. Lets all keep our heads up and pray!

99 Lindsay { 06.19.12 at 9:02 am }

Feb 29th I gave birth to my little girl @ 23 weeks, she was diagnosed with a fatal chromosomal abnormality. I bled on and off from the day of her birth until April 13th when I had a piece of retained placenta removed. I bled lightly for two days and then returned to normal. About three weeks after the d&c I began a very heavy bleed that lasted almost 10 days. I am now on a 47 day cycle (my second period since the d&c) with a blaringly positive OPK on days 36/37. I am now on day 48 and just started another fairly heavy cycle, what gives?
I am hoping things are getting back to normal now but I just feel so out of whack. My husband and I want to ttc again but it is hard when everything is so uncertain. I am thankful for my two year old daughter, she really keeps me sane.

100 Liz { 06.26.12 at 7:04 pm }

OK, so just when I thought I had gotten all the answers I needed and was ready to take the next step in this journey… Fertility Specialist told me that I was carrying a gene for Thrombophilia, and another pregnancy would mean Lovenox shots daily throughout the duration of the pregnancy. I went to see my cardiologist today just to get his all clear and ask his opinion about this finding. He says in the bloodwork panel that was done by the Fert Spec he does NOT see any indications or findings for Thrombophilia?? I am stumped and feel like after 7 months of sadness I have now taken 10 steps back in my planning to TTC again. Cardio says to ask the Fert Spec exactly where he sees this gene and maybe even get a second opinion. But this guy was supposed to be the best in the city where I live. I am starting to feel defeated. Do I go with the Fert Spec and take these shots everyday… or listen to the Cardio and look into it further. I was hoping to start TTC again after July’s menstrual cycle. Just needed to vent. : (

101 Missmama33 { 07.07.12 at 10:35 am }

I just wanted to say I am so sorry for everyone’s loss. D&C and D&E are to hard on everyone no matter what stage you are at and there is no comfort in the procedure whatsoever! I had a D&C 6/26/12 my first one and hopefully my last :/. I greatful that I have two healthy beautiful girls. I am just so angry I have never had any issues and had to successful pregnancies (although I fully believe in things happen for a reason) Even though I believe in that my grieving process is still just as hard. I actually knew something was wrong On 6/22/12 I cried and felt something was off (I knew something was weird since the day I found out) but this day I felt strange, I told my husband and he blew me off saying I was fine. I cried the rest of the weekend and fought with him I finally decided I did nit care and I was going to go have and elective ultrasound. My husband decided not to come with me this was on 6/24/12. And as I suspected my Lil baby died on Friday measuring at 13 weeks 4 days :( and my husband was not there. I cried my eyes put in disbelief. I went home cried myself to sleep and dealt with the pain the next morning. It was the worst pain I have ever gone through emotionally and I would never ever wish this upon someone else. The procedure was easy but the pain is miserable it’s been almost two weeks and it gets better the more I talk about it! Worst part is two of my really close friends were pregnant with me. Yup! I love them to death and they are great people and great parents they were just not ready to be parents again so it sooo hard watching this and not going through with my pregnancy. Anyways as the days past you will feel less and less pain. It helped a lot naming our baby :). We didn’t find out the sex bc thought it would be to hard emotionally to know!! And we know someday we will meet our beautiful child in heaven! God bless everyone and I pray we all get our rainbow babies soon and the pain passes soon! I pray our healing processes move on quickly!

102 huma { 08.10.12 at 7:43 am }

I have also had 3 m/c and the last one is two weeks ago. I am actually remain stressed from last 7 months, things are labile between me and my husband but i have 4 years old son, i am staying with his cheater father because of him. I though if i ll have another baby perhaps i will forget everything, but its over now.

103 Donnasaw { 08.21.12 at 12:18 pm }

I am 39 and was told I could not have children due to very low progesterone levels. My fiance and I split up after almost 8 years. I moved back to my hometown and a month later found out what I thought as depression due to the breakup..was pregnancy. I was in shock and disbelief, but very happy. I saw the baby and saw the heartbeatat at 8 weeks andwas so relieved. At 12 weeks I had another ultrasound and there was no hearteat and the baby wasn’t much bigger than the first ultrasound. I was given thoe choice of a d&c or natural. This was just yesterday and I’m undecided. They use seaweed to dialate the cervix and I hear that’s painful. I want to do what u is best for myself and my baby. It hurts so much becauseuthis was my miracle pregnancy. And although the fatherand I are not together, I know our baby would have been loved and cared for by both sides. I feel this was my one and only chance at a baby and I am angry at everything right now. It’s good to read others experiences and I hurt for each one of youI who ha ve gone through this.

104 Liz { 08.21.12 at 6:29 pm }

Donna I am sorry for your loss. Listen to your instincts as to what to do next, but also if a dr is recommending something for the benefit of your health, then pay attention to that too. The dilation is uncomfortable, but it was my only option as my baby passed and the miscarriage was not happening naturally. Prayers and thoughts go out to you.

105 Eileen { 08.25.12 at 3:01 pm }

I just had my d and e today this was very helpful, just can’t believe it’s happened again though in such a different way, in 2006 got pregnant first time so happy planned and wanted everything went well the whole time till 35 weeks noticed less movement called dr next day had me come in NO heartbeat, the most painful horrible feeling could not understand this normal healthy pregnancy and baby boy was just gone we still to this day never got any reason, thought I wouldn’t survive but then got stronger and tried again in 2008 got pregnant and have the most amazing smart almost four year old, the whole time was nervous wreck. Worrying something would go wrong but he is perfect then 2010 Also planned pregnancy and have a beautiful little girl she is so funny and wonderful. Again was worried the whole time but she was perfect , fast forward 2012 surprise find out pregnant again not expected but very much happy was perfect at twelve week scan and then at 16week scan showed no heartbeat and baby had died at thirteen weeks was in complete shock though worried and anxious because of first on still couldn’t believe it happened thank goodness for my two I have but just don’t understand feel sad and crampy after d and e but hopefully will pull through thanks for all the stories and sorry if I went a little off topic actually felt good to write, thanks to anyone who reads

106 anonymous { 09.24.12 at 8:08 am }

So sorry at everybodys mc,but I want all of you to know that everyfin happens for a reason and believe that children are miracles from God. I am 29 yrs and had my first preg ever in march bcos my LMP befor preg was 03 march 2012, I had blood spot may 18 2012,thinking that my stresslevel was high so I tried to relax and it was not bright red,and it stopped after a day,so I thought there is no cause for alarm,a week later the spotting started back this time arround bright red and we went to hospita and do scan to discoverd that no heart beat,at 11weeks,
But he said the baby has died since 9weeks no cramp,only slight back ache,the journey started o,may 22 Dr gave me an options of evacuation so I opted for medical method,the baby came out in pieces,a week later went for check up realized that there is retained product so he did D&E for me,blood stopped third day and blood spot started back and I went back to him and he said its normal and it stopped finally after aweek. 28th of may I did D&E,bloodspot started back on 1st of june and stopd on 6th june, another spot started on 24th exactly 28 days after evacuation, I saw egg white that signify ovulation on 12th of july. After the evacuation there has being no major menstra bleeding,so I experience major menstral bleeding on 22 of july. Which lasted for 7days and I went to the dr since we are ttc,so he asked me to come back for follicle tracking on 1st of aug,we saw big follicle and I had alittle drop of blood that signify ovulation but since then no menstration and pt is negative,only blood spot instead of period,I was diagnosed of pid and we finished the regimen of treatment 3weeks ago.stil blood spot on 10th of sept for 4days and now another bright red bloodspot since 20th sept,am just confused. Mc is a bad thing it distort every system of the body especialy endocrine,,may God give us our heart desires on time . We just have to be patient. I hope this will encourage others too as they re not alone.

107 Jill { 09.26.12 at 9:49 am }

I am finding all your stories helpful, although reading them with tear-filled eyes is not easy. Had my first u/s yesterday (8weeks) and there was no heartbeat. Tech said baby is measuring 6w5d. Having a 2nd u/s next week, but I am scared! Every time I try to be hopeful I think it is just going to hurt that much more when I get the bad news that my baby is gone. I don’t feel pregnant anymore. I am thankful for my 3 awesome kids and the uneventful pregnancies that brought them into this world, and wonder how could this happen to me? My heart feels like its in my throat! I have so many questions. Is it possible to find out the sex of a baby that small if you have a d&c? I really feel like knowing the sex and naming our baby would help give my hubby and I closure before we ttc again. Ugh, I feel like my head is spinning! Sorry, I know I’m all over the place, but thanks everyone for sharing and allowing me to do the same. -Jill

108 natalie { 09.28.12 at 6:14 am }

I’m 35 yrs old. 16 wks pregnant with 2nd child. Found out 4 days ago that my baby may hv trisomy 18 (from harmony test). Did level 2 u/s next day, can see that the baby skull did not form. Opted not to do amnio, Gest age of preg is only 14wks. I’ve been crying all week. I opted to do a d&e early next week. Baby heart beat is still there and I can’t even imagine continuing with this pregnancy when I know the end result. I’m very SD nd lonely. My partner is being very supportive, but I still feel alone. We hvnt even discussed trying again or not. He doesn’t hv any kids and we both wanted one. But I’m not sure if I want to try again. Well thanks or letting me vent, prayers and blessings to you all

109 Amber { 10.03.12 at 9:37 pm }

My story is very drawn out, and well interesting.
I went to the OBGYN on time and everything was great. Kept being great. We saw a heartbeat on the ultrasound, the little one was growing exactly how it should. Then, September 18th happened.

I woke up on 9/18 at 3am (I was 12w5d) thinking I had peed on myself and swore I would stop drinking water after 8… I walked across the house, up the stairs and to the other side of the house… and there was a lot of blood. I started crying, put on a pad, and woke up my husband (who was leaving at 7am to deal with personal things about 4 hours away) and told him not to worry, that I was going to the ER, and I would call with any updates.

The ER was pretty slow, and there was only one nurse in the triage/reception area. He kept telling me to hang on a second and that he was sorry. There was apparently an accidental gunshot that had taken everyone to the back. He walked over to the reception to get the wristbands for the man he was triaging at the moment when I leaned over the counter and told him “I am sorry, but I am almost 13 weeks pregnant and I am bleeding pretty heavily. I need to be seen.” His face became pale and he pressed a button on the desk and a nurse came flying out from behind the locked Double doors. He told her what I just said then they ran me back, made me pee in a cup, get undressed and lay on the bed. I was freezing so they thought the worst. My doctor came in, he told me that bleeding isnt always bad, considering I had no pain at all. He told me I am getting blood work, ultrasound, and a pelvic exam. They lady came and drew the blood, probably 20 vials and gave me a cath so they could inflate my bladder to raise up my uterus to see the baby. Then about 20 minutes later, a man came in and smiled and said “I am going to take you to ultrasound now”. I just nodded, thinking the worse. The warm gel on my belly was a welcome relief, because I was still freezing, despite having 2 warmed blankets put on me. I didn’t even think to look toward the screen until he grunted “hmm” I looked at him and said “what, why did you do that?!” He said “How far are you?” and I followed with “13 weeks on Thursday why???” He clicked a couple of buttons and then turned the screen, and said “because your baby is measuring right at 13 weeks and there is the little heartbeat.” I started crying and just kept saying “oh wow oh wow” and he moved the ultrasound around on my suddenly still and no shaking belly. I saw the spine, face, and the aerobatics the little thing was doing. I was all smiles going all the way back to the room, until my doctor came back in.
My doctor did my pelvic exam, making sure the cyst I had on my right ovary wasn’t causing the bleed. .
Apparently I am the 0.5% to 1% of all known medically treated pregnancies that have a placental abruption before the 20th week. I also have placenta previa. They sent me home with the most terribly titled piece of paper: “Threatened miscarriage”.
About 4 hours later I went to my OBGYN. He did another scan and there was still a heart beat and the bleed had slowed. He told me the abruption was rare, but as long as it was so tiny, and the baby was still growing, there was no issue. The placenta *should* move up so I can have a vaginal delivery, but if not he would have to do a cesarean. I am not “high risk” and have been put on bed rest until 9/25 and can return to work on extremely light duty.
The bleeding had stopped completely by Tuesday night, and when I went back on 9/21, all was well. Beautiful baby doing backflips and wiggling around. Heartbeat 185.
Of course, between 9/18 and 9/21 I googled and googled, and could find nothing. Nothing this early. At least, not with any answers. Just the same questions I was asking. Why? Why? Why? Is the baby going to be ok? Am I going to be ok?

There was a clot where the bleeding came from that my body seemed to be absorbing. The baby was dancing and just having a ball. The abruption was minimal now, even though I still had previa. I spotted brown and he let me know I would probably spot brown like that throughout the pregnancy, and reminded me, I was still at risk for miscarriage because of the abruption.

On Friday 9/28, I got out of bed and went to the bathroom and thought I had begun to bleed again, only to see that all the blobs and gushes were brown. I was relieved and decided to relax, and told myself everything was okay.

My OB decided he wanted to see me every other Monday until delivery. He wanted to do an ultrasound every time to be sure all was well. My next appointment was October 1 (14w4d). Me and my husband were joking and laughing and giggling in the waiting room before we were called back. Still cracking jokes and making the nurses laugh up until my nurse came in and took my temp and blood pressure. She put the Doppler on my belly; static. She said that she could be missing it and rolled in the ultrasound machine. My doctor came in and asked how I felt. I felt fine. Boobs hurt, and sometimes I would get sick at some smells, but other than that, I was good. He moved around the little wand and was looking and looking and I turned my head and looked at my husband and said “there is no heartbeat”. The doctor sighed and agreed with what I just said. He wanted me to come back the next morning and have a more detailed ultrasound done.

The next morning I went in and started crying as soon as I walked into the ultrasound room. I cried through the whole ultrasound. The tech kept saying “I am so sorry” which made me cry even harder. The tech then confirmed there was no heartbeat. The baby had stopped growing at 14w1d. The day I had the gush of brown “blood and clots”

I have a D&E scheduled for Friday (10/5) as my body is not accepting the fetal death and it not showing any signs at all of proceeding on it’s own. The doctor believes there is still part of the placenta functioning and making enough hormones for my body to believe I am still pregnant. I would be 15w1d. The doctor believes a “wait and see” approach would be too hard on me or could lead to hemorrhage, and quite frankly, I don’t want to see all that blood or my baby come out of me. I also want to give my doctor the chance to tell me if there was any chromosomal or genetic issues.

I am hoping everything goes smooth and there isn’t any bleeding problems. (with my toddler the doctor tugged on the placenta causing a hemorrhage which could have caused a scar and been the cause of the abruption) I am scared but I really want this week to be over. I have two boys at home to take care of and I know that all will be okay, everything happens for a reason I guess. If anyone needs to talk, or has any advice, or questions, you can e-mail me at amber.lynn[at]ymail.com.

I am sorry for anyone who has to go though this, it is painful. More emotionally than physically.

110 Ellen { 10.04.12 at 5:14 pm }

I’m not sure how I found this page, but thank you. I appreciate the straightforward honest tone. I had a D&C yesterday and expected to feel some closure today. Instead, I’m more in the “basketcase” scenario that you mentioned. It’s good to know that this is normal and I won’t be this upset for long.

111 Mommie of 4.1 on Earth and 3 in Heaven { 10.18.12 at 8:04 pm }

I just had a D&E today (should be 12 weeks). In week 7 I was told there was no HB and the baby stopped growing at 6W 4D, two days after I seen the flicker of the tiny heartbeat. I did not know it happened and sat in denial and had a second US done. It was reconfirmed. The entire time I was going through denial I cried and thought through what our next steps would be with husband. I cried when I thought of women who are removing babies from their bodies that are alive, I cried to think of women who were happy with the new babies, I cried knowing I was expecting twins in Sept. and lost them in Feb., I cried when I seen my soap GH and a baby in his moms arms. When I woke-up from my D&E I did not cry, I asked if it went well and the doctor said “yes.” I asked if we could begin again after my next period, he said “yes.” He did not want to go into details about starting again (no negative undertones detected) due to the foggy feeling of the anesthesia wearing off. He was clear that he wanted to go over it all in two weeks and to take care. I am home now looking at others who have gone through this and greatly appreciating the support, because I did not cry leaving the hospital, the pain and exhaustion was too much, but the emotions are setting in now. I am morning the loss of my fourth child as my 11-year-old holds me and comforts me while daddy goes out to get a late night dinner. I pray for all of us who have lost and that we all have the chance to recover. Thank you all for sharing and guiding me through a very unexpected tough evening. I really thought I had it all under control, I guess not. Time and healing.. Right?

112 Riya { 11.10.12 at 11:16 pm }

Sorry nd blessngs 4 ur future. Thanx 4 ur instructions.aftr my d&c (4nov 12) i m feelng so upset bcz of pain.. Nw aftr readng ur instructn i vl try 2 recovr it again by my gyno consultations.. Thanx. God bless u.

113 Riya { 11.10.12 at 11:32 pm }

Sorry 4 ur loss.I just had a d&c at 4th nov (it shud b 11w 12d).My gyn told there is no heartbeat nd it stoppd growng at 6w 5d , it ws my 1st preg. I ws so upset, m feelng so much pain in my stomach ,now aftr readng ur instruction nd cases i vl try 2 recovr it again by d help of my gyno.. Thanx alot 4 ur guidence :-)

114 Lyn { 12.16.12 at 12:30 pm }

Hello everyone! This post has really been helpful to me. I had an evacuation done on 11/12/12. I have a 7year old son &i have been trying since he was 2yrs old. I found out i was preg after going thru my first IVF & my husband n i were overjoyed that our 1st trial with IVF was sucessful as we have heard friends talk about their 2nd, 3rd procedures without success. I was about 8weeks preg & my doc said the baby had reduced in size (in other words, shrinking). I went for another US and I was told no HB…..I opted to do evacuation the next day for health reasons to avoid infection. I felt so empty after the procedure, I have never felt so alone & “in my own world” though my husband tries to console me each passing day. I feel a lot beta knowing there are women really strong here &i have no other option but to be strong too :) . I hope to try naturally at least for d next 3months before trying IVF again. Thank u all for your post, I really feel better!

115 Angela { 01.07.13 at 12:15 am }

I have six children in a row. I guess I took it for granted. My seventh was a blighted ovum that stopped growing at 5.5wks. I didn’t get a final diagnosis until I was more than 7wks pregnant. Spotting at night, nothing during the day. The D&E was uneventful. But three days later I still can’t be in public. I get dizzy and confused and almost pass out, even though I’m not bleeding very much. I miss my baby, even though a body didn’t form. I’m 36. Not sure if more babies are in my future.

116 Back to the Start | Conceptional Dysfunction { 01.08.13 at 5:20 pm }

[…] had been so strong, so loud but just like that it was taken away from us. On December 28th I had a D&E and now we are back to where we started. I know that she wasn’t the baby we were meant to have […]

117 Angie { 04.10.13 at 1:15 pm }

Thanks, just reading your story is helping me move through my experience. I had 2 failed pregnancies, my 1st was discovered at 10 weeks with the baby’s growth stopping at 7.5 weeks. This I let take care of itself naturally. I had bleeding and cramping for about 5 weeks, but emotionally I was fine. My 2nd time was a blighted ovum once again caught at 10 weeks due to unexpected bleeding without cramping. I told the doctor I wanted to speed things along since I am 41 and would like to start having children ASAP. So, I went in for my very 1st surgery ever a D&E. Didn’t know until I woke up that I was on a breathing tube, so that was a little confusing. Cramping and bleeding were minimal I was just tired for 24 hours. Now I am 2 days out from surgery and an emotional wreck! I am a strong woman and a happy peppy person, I don’t cry willy nilly. I just feel unhappy, but I don’t know why. I was making some breakfast and burst into hysterical tears. And I can’t stop weeping. It was nice to hear from someone that this is normal because my hormone levels would drop so fast. Would’ve been nice for the doctor or surgical staff to warn me or my husband about that. I am not upset about anything, still very unhappy and can’t stop crying. I feel broken and very unlike myself. It’s a very odd emotion to be experiencing, thank goodness for my supportive and understanding husband.

118 ptb144 { 05.29.13 at 11:11 pm }

I had a D&C on Thursday may 23 2013 and it was a very hard decision to make but I seen the ultrasound and there was no heartbeat I had some pain and I would like to mention to make sure it isn’t caused from constipation cause I had both pain from the procedure and being constipated I feel for u all I have been there and we r gonna try again we also lost one in oct of 2012 and we were told to wait 3 mths to start trying again sometimes I think I should call the dr.s bluff but on the other hand I think I should wait so scared it is gonna happen again im getting up there in age and want one more little one we have a 20 mth old and it took 6 mths to get pregnant with her after a tubal reversal it was scary hope everyone better luck in the future on trying and god bless u all thanks for sharing ur experiences with me it helps a lot

119 Ashly { 06.05.13 at 6:21 pm }

Hello my names ast and I just wanna day I’m very sorry for everyone’s loss I recently had what was called a molar pregnancy and i had to receive a d & e I didn’t even know what was goin on I figured I just had a miscarriage since they could not see or hear a baby and I wa ten weeks. I couldn’t understand what was going on because my body still felt pregnant and I was growing at a rapid rate so I thought it was just because this was my second pregnancy. I had had two miscarriages prior to giving birth to my now almost two year old heathy little girl. Anyways the ob told me I didn’t have a choice she told me if I let u go any longer you could go to be and not wake up! Well sense I have a child I with no hesitation too them to do what they must it seriously was the scariest thing I’ve ever been threw I had a csection with my daughter and they lost me and had to do a blood transfusion so I was deathy afraid. Everything went well and I woke up in the recovery room with a nurse wipeing my eyes she ha told me I was crying the whole procedure while I was under. As soon as I actually woke up woke up I began to cry because reality hit me that I was nolonger pregnant I nolonger could feel my little baby wiggling and now two weeks later I’m a single mother. And I’m dealing with everything on my own I still cry almost every day about it but one day I hope I will be okay since I wa 18 I’ve ha female problems to the point where a soon as I’m old enough I’m getting everything take. Out I can’t take the pain anymore.

120 Ashly { 06.05.13 at 6:24 pm }

O btw I’m 23

121 Back to the Start ‹ Tricky and Peep { 06.27.13 at 4:08 pm }

[…] had been so strong, so loud but just like that it was taken away from us. On December 28th I had a D&E and now we are back to where we started. I know that she wasn’t the baby we were meant to have […]

122 Al { 07.06.13 at 5:32 pm }

Hello all!! To begin I am beyond sorry for all the losses each and everyone of you have encountered. The only words that come to mind are… It sucks, it all sucks! My husband and I were expecting our first child, due Jan 2014. We had our first ultrasound at 7 weeks and baby’s heart rate was in the 140’s, everything looked good, actually it looked great. I was taking my prenatals as often as I could, I suffered from extreme nausea, eating as healthy as I could, very light exercising and doing everything I thought of to ensure a happy, healthy baby. July 3 we went to the doctors for our next month checkup, it all started out great, I gained only 2lbs, measured great, therefore my OB decided to try and find the heartbeat with the doppler. She was unsuccessful, which to her she said that was fine we could go into the next room and use the ultrasound machine, so we did. She tried, looking so intently at the screen as my husband videotaped the whole thing, thinking we would send this footage to our family… My OB turned to me and said, unfortunately I don’t see a heartbeat. I didn’t think anything of it at first, I thought okay well that can happen, right? No need to worry until she says the baby is measuring about a week behind, my heart dropped, my stomach turned, I burst into tears. My husband held me while I sobbed and sobbed. She told me she was 99% sure I had lost the baby at 9.5 weeks, I was to be 11 weeks two days following the appointment. She told me she was sending me to the hospital for a confirmation ultrasound, but was so sorry. To the hospital we went, ultrasound confirmed no heartbeat and baby was measuring behind at 9 weeks and a few days. Due to the holiday week and weekend I have not been able to have a D&C yet, I’m suppose to have it this coming Thursday. I’m beyond terrified that I will miscarry at home, which I know I’m not strong enough for. I wish they could get me in sooner, I keep telling myself that if I could have this done and over and not having the feeling/knowing that there is a deceased baby inside me, I’d be better. However i know when thursday comes around I will be a complete reck, prolly wishing that I’d wake up from this damn nightmare. By reading all of your post, it has helped me express what has/is happening. I feel that the few people I have told about the whole ordeal have no idea what I’m going through and continue to say things like, “well we know u can get pregnant” or “1 in 5 women will have a miscarriage” ohh thanks for those damn statistics, cuz it makes me feel so much better!

123 Tina { 07.08.13 at 10:31 pm }

To Al:
I am so sorry for your loss. I had my miscarriage when baby was 11 weeks 2 days old. There was still heart beat the day the m/ c happened. It was heart broken. I had an incompleted m/c even though the fetus was out. I just ened up at the ER while waiting for my D&C. Fortunately, they coul do it without a general anesthesia, jist freezed my uterus for the procedure. There was some paint but bearable. I just pray to God during that time. Now, it’s been 4 days after the procedure and I am still bleeding/ spotting lightly. There is some tiny tissue like when I pee but I think it’s normal since the uncomfort feelings were gone after 2 days. I hope this info helps to reduce your worries. I will have my check up next week. Just pray ro God and he will look after you.

124 Roseanne { 10.18.13 at 9:42 am }

I have just gone through my 3rd miscarriage yesterday I had my 1st D&E. But I have to say it was so much ‘easier’ than my ‘natural’ miscarriages which I know mentally I just could not go through again. My hhusband and went for our 12 week dating scan and baby had dies at 9 week’s 2 days. The only thing that has kept me sane has been my 2 children who are also devastated at the loss. Time is a healer and we have to move on for them and us x good luck everyone xx

125 Roseanne { 10.18.13 at 9:50 am }

My first missed miscarriage was 8 weeks 2 days (discovered 2 day. Before 12 weeks scan) 2nd miscarriage was at 6 week’s and my last at 9week’s 2 day’s (discovered at 12 week’s 2 days)

126 Trish { 11.06.13 at 5:57 pm }

What a terrible thing to be reading and posting about. I just went through my first miscarriage and D&C this past Friday (11/1/13) and it has been awful. I had some brown spotting that began around 12 weeks so I went to see my doctor who pulled out the Doppler, found the baby’s heartbeat, assured us that everything was fine (“I’m not concerned” were her exact words), and sent us on our way. That was on October 21st. On October 31st, I began bleeding bright red. I was terrified and called the doctor who told me to come in first thing the next morning for an ultrasound. After the ultrasound, my husband and I both had a feeling that something was wrong. Then the nurse came in and told us there was no heartbeat. In a matter of 10 days, we had lost our sweet baby. I had the procedure the same day we found out and I’m still bleeding and feeling pain at night, and when I stand up or walk it feels like my insides are being pulled apart. I am heartbroken and crying at the smallest things. I know that it will get better with time and our faith, family, and friends have sustained us over these past few days but I’m just so sad. Hopefully we will get pregnant again soon and have a healthy baby next time. This site has been a huge blessing!

127 Sarah { 11.22.13 at 3:43 pm }

Just want to start by saying I am so sorry for everyone’s loss. I know how you all feel. I found out I was pregnant in April 2013 and had a due date of December 26, 2013. I did everything right, went to the Dr. took my vitamins, stopped drinking soda and coffee, and started eating right. During one of my first visits to the OBGYN my husband and I opted for an optional ultrasound to be done to see if the baby had any genetic defects. It was at this ultrasound that we were told that I had lost all my amniotic fluid, I was about 12 weeks. The Dr. told us that there was no chance that this baby would grow normally and that my chances of even carrying to term were slim to none. We were devastated, however, the Dr. told us to take 2 weeks and come back to see if anything had changed. So we did…..and it didn’t. We were given our options….continue with the pregnancy and miscarry on my own, carry the baby and have the baby be born and die within an hour, or proceed with a D&E. My husband and I talked about all of our options and decided that a D & E was our only option. I could not keep going with a pregnancy that I knew would end terribly. So I had the D & E on June 26 at 14 weeks. This was the hardest decision I ever had to make and it was the most heart wrenching situation to be put in. It has already been five months and I am still not over it. I think about that baby every day and even though my husband and I are ready to try again it’s hard not to think that there will always be 1 missing……..

128 Anonymous { 12.20.13 at 7:40 am }

I received lots of info from this website before my surgery so I figured Id come back and give a little. I’d like to skip over the whys if no one minds as this is fresh I lived it once wouldn’t like to again however info on the procedure I can help with. I had a caring staff a good nurse an OB who had no qualms admitting he was also nervous and worried for me. Eighteen weeks was my mark. The laminaria I can say was the worse. Five to seven minutes of hell. If Xanax is available beforehand or even ibuprofen please ladies take it. Cramping similar to menstrual is not accurate in my case , cramping of twelve menstrual cycles in one is more so. The surgery itself I opted for IV sedation and I’m thankful that I did. I remember only waking up in recovery talking about playing a game with my little one at home. I have a previous miscarriage as well with twins a little farther a long and I chose to deliver. For me I wish I hadn’t. It offered me no closure no relief nothing but torment. I have one living child out of three pregnancies and I’m thankful for her,thankful enough that I’ve quit trying. I risk taking myself from my little one each time I try and the odds aren’t in my favor. I do wish each and every one of us healing and a peaceful place in life.

129 christine { 12.31.13 at 11:36 am }

I had a d&c nov 30- I was not given anaesthesia I believe that the obstetrician is a satist that loves to watch women in pain, he was very happy from the first day to smile in my face and tell me that my very early pregnancy was not viable..only because he did not see any gestational sac on ultrasound although I had four positive test result he immediately said that I had false positive..I requested for HCG levels which determine that I was in fact pregnant , so the very next day I went to the hospital worrying that maybe I had a fallopian pregnancy come to find out there was a sack and there was a yolk I was 5 weeks pregnant..5 days later I began bleeding heavily I re turned to the hospital on Thanksgiving..but they refused to do an ultrasound because the tech was not in the building and they would not call her in..I followed up with my obstetrician who said he scheduled me for a D&C the next day I requested to see the hcg levels going higher or lower they were elevating but not as nicely as they would of expected..I had the DNC without anesthesia I cried in pain and told him that it was hurting..I was fully alert to listen to the suction and for him to tell the nurse turn the vacuum back on..I am a nurse that takes care of medically fragile children..I later come to hear that this is the of the obstetrician that caused the death in one of the children I cared for..he is no longer allowed to do labor and delivery..he is allowed to see females in first trimester and to perform the d&c’s along with abortions..he scheduled my D&C the day that protesters were outside..I waited in the waiting room with women that were waiting to abord what could be viable pregnancies.. I believe this man enjoy so watch the pain of women..I have not had my period since I had my D&C..that is 32 days..I do not want to call the doctor and ask any questions..can somebody give me advice

130 T.j. { 02.15.14 at 10:15 pm }

I was going in for my 20 week checkup and found out the baby had no heartbeat . the dr said the baby had died a few weeks prior and was already breaking down .I took off 1 and 1/2 weeks from work after d&c that still wasn’t enough time . Physically I healed within days emotionally I still am heartbroken :( I was due in march and I feel it getting closer and wondering how my life could have been . On a happy note I do have 2 healthy kids that are my everything . I did try to take from all that has happened something positive . I promised my baby I would be a better person /mother in every way I can . If I’m having a bad day I just know that they are there telling me it’s ok mom , be strong for me .

131 Stormie { 02.16.14 at 9:14 pm }

I just had a miscarriage. I was eleven weeks but the baby had stopped growing at eight. When I was told my baby was dead I had a hysterical breakdown. My fiancée and I still miss our would have been baby, but I had a d&c just Friday (horrible valentines Fay) and I feel fine, aside from my heartbreak. I just hope I can have children down the road.

132 jessie { 03.13.14 at 1:17 am }

This article helped me alot to understand what happened to me in my miscarriage. However, my baby stopped growing at 9w6d while my uterus was aprox 11w. According to my doctor. He scheduled me to havr the procedure done the following monday (feb 3 2014). I then went home that night and had a fever of 102. And followed instructions to take tylenol so on and so fourth. After the fourth day of having flu like symptoms my doctor prescribed me tylenol with codine and ibuprophine for pain. The following sunday I was laying in bed and could not relieve myself from a curled up ball. I finally got up and starting (sorry for future graphics) gushing blood every where. By the time I made it to the bathroom I had lost ALOT of blood. When I made it to the emergency room they told me I lost 4 pints of blood when my body weighy normally carries 12-15. With that, I was in the hospital for four days on iv antibiotics. My doctor never specified if I had a blood infection or a general infection AT ALL. He kept telling me it was the flu. (Sorry for babbling I just want you to understand). I went to see him a week later in his office still having a small clot here and there when I urinate and he told me that back in january one of my tests came back with bacteria in it. But my pap smere came back fine. He shouldve told me in january couldve saved me a lot of emotional breakage. ANYWAYS. It is now day 40 since my actual procedure. And he said my period should be a week or two. My boyfriend and I have had sex twice and we have been together for 8 years now and protection really isnt the first thing we think of.. even though we should have I know (no lectures please). I have recently been bloated and sneezing ALOT Which were my forst symptoms last time… I need advice im scared

Please and thank you guys for your help.

133 Sarah { 03.18.14 at 3:35 pm }

Hello, I just wanted to write and say how helpful I’ve found this article. I had a miscarriage 3 weeks ago and I’ve read hundreds of articles about what happens next and this has been intelligent, articulate and most of all compassionate. At a time when no one wants to talk about a miscarriage it’s been a very important article. Thank you

134 Chika { 03.23.14 at 11:44 am }

I has miscarriage october 2013, I waited for 2 months before trying again, since january till now, I have not conceived, I don’t even know what to do, pls u guys should help me with suggestions

135 Mellie { 03.28.14 at 1:20 am }

Hi, I just wanted to let everyone know that this website has been very helpful. I do not feel so alone right now. I had a spontanous miscarrage at 13-14 weeks last Sunday. I passed the fetus and the placenta of what appeared to be a healthy baby boy. I’ve been scared to go through with the D&C. But there are still fragments remaining in my uterus. I’ve had cramping, pain and bleeding since Sunday. The first 2 days was heavy bleeding and cramping and now it’s subsiding. I’m afraid that there is still a lot of tissue inside and I don’t want an infection. The doctor said that she would recommend the D&C and I am taking her word. This has been the most traumatic and painful experience in my life. I just want closure and the procedure is scheduled for tomorrow morning. Thank you so much to all the women who have shared their stories. My heart goes out to all of you. I hope someday that I will be able to give birth to a healthy beautiful baby and I wish the same for all of you who are in my shoes. Blessings and thank you for reading

136 1stloss { 04.06.14 at 4:25 pm }

Thanks everyone for sharing and so sorry for your losses. I went for my first appt 2/10 when I should have been 12w3d. The doc tried using Doppler to find a heart beat couldn’t detect one. So then used the ultra sound. She looked for a long time before saying anything. At first I thought maybe I wasnt really pregnant but looked at the screen and did see a baby. She asked if dates were accurate. I knew something wasn’t right. Then she said no heart beat. I never expected to hear that especially after two very uneventful pregnancies. Baby was measuring 9w. I went for another ultra sound in hospital just to be 100%. Same out come. My Dr recommended cytotec to induce miscarriage. She said it works for 90% of women. I took the medication on 2/12 by that weekend I thought everything was gone. The week of 2/17 I noticed some abnormal things and made an appt to see my Dr. Saw the Dr on 2/24 where I was then told I had rpoc and would need a d&c. Trying to avoid surgery I opted to try the cytotec again. Took the medication twice that week and saw the Dr on 3/2 still had rpoc. Again I tried the cytotec one last time. Went for an ultrasound on 3/10 still rpoc. Had d&e 3/11 (two days before iturned 35). Very easy recovery with no pain and no bleeding just a little spotting. Now I’m just waiting on my period to return to try again. It was such a difficult thing to go through and the hardest part is never knowing why it happens. I hate being apart of this statistic.

137 ashlee { 04.13.14 at 5:03 am }

I have now had 3 miscarriages. My first one I was 12 weeks and 1 day in June of 2011, the second I found out about 11 weeks into it that I had a blighted ovum, but the worst part about that was that if they would of developed right I would of had twins. That was in February of 2013. Now 3 days ago April of 2014 I was 19 week and 3 days along and I miscarried again. I had to have a D and C with my first two and a D and E with the last one. I opted to try to deliver her but after 19 hours of trying to go through the labor process, It would not work. Trying to cope with all this while my body is going through so many changes is hard. I am still not sure of what to think about all of it. The one thing I did do is seen a specialist who is trying to figure out why I keep miscarrying. The specialist went over the fetus before I had the D and E done, she did find that the baby had Spine Abifia, and was about 2 weeks behind in growth. After that ultra sound I was given a Amniocentesis, but for some reason she was unable to draw out any of the amniotic fluid. After my operation samples of my placenta were taken to check the chromosomes along with blood work, hopefully I will find out what keeps causing all of this. For anyone going through this it is not easy, for me reading others story’s makes it helpful to deal with the process better. even after going through this experience 3 times I would love to have a child more then anything. I do not want to loose hope, but I do have my doubts if I will ever be able to have a baby or even healthy baby. After hearing about the spine abifia, and the other compilations I had during my last pregnancy makes me skeptical about even trying again. I do not want to bring a child into the world that is going to have to suffer with disabilities, all of their lives. But I am hoping that I will get good feedback from the specialist so I do not have to fear all of these things anymore!!

138 pinkybeany { 06.22.14 at 6:41 am }

hi wanna ask, i had a miscarriage and doc didnt do scraping as he was ON LEAVE! and as normal having mense for a month then reddish brown discharge till nw, which is 3month plus! and doc doesnt wan do scraping as he say he’s afraid my womb will stick together and cant get preg next time. n he gave me tried all sorts of hormo pill yet still have the layer on my womb.. can you advise what shld i do or eat to get rid of the lining? thos pills had cause me so many breakout and it just cant get off!

139 mvl { 07.11.14 at 5:35 pm }

Hi everyone, I found this site so helpful,especially everyone’s stories. I just found out I miscarried. I went in for my appointment with the nurse. I was 16 weeks, I had just had blood work a few days ago and the blood work said I was 16 weeks. Anyway, the nurse couldn’t find a heartbeat, she tried twice so she sent me to get an ultrasound. At the ultrasound, they couldn’t see anything so I had a vaginal one. The tech didnt tell us anything except to get dressed and that she was going to talk to my doctor. She came back in and said she was sorry but there was no heartbeat. So, I lost my baby. But no,one really told me when. I have an appointment with my doctor in a couple days and I’m so scared for the procedure. I have two beautiful kids, but I’m still incredibly sad that we won’t be adding a third. I’m wondering would my hcg levels show up as 16 weeks even tho the baby died before?
I should have asked more questions but I was in shock.
I keep thinking I should have known.
I wonder too if the procedure will make me have problems becoming pregnant again?
but all in all thank you for your story,your site,and everyone elses stories.

140 Monique { 11.19.14 at 11:36 pm }

I myself had ad&e it was very hard bcuz I was 20 weeks pregnant I worry if I’ll ever get pregnant again

141 tracy { 11.27.14 at 4:05 pm }


142 Anonyous { 12.27.14 at 6:42 pm }

This is was helpful but also made me cry so much heart ache & pain. I had aD&E on dec 05 I was 19 wks. In the mode of the night I had servere bleeding. Went to the E.R and then to my o.b confirmed 2 times in one day that our baby had stopped growing at 14 1/2 wks. They did testing and there is just no reason. I have 3 kids 15,8 and my littlest 18 m. I also had a sin pass of sids in 2001 @ 7 m very healthy. I’m not sure why this had to happen and why I’m going thru everything I do. But to a the people who took time out of their day to share it helped more than u know. I’m 4 wks post d&e and Im week still feel like Im not recovering right. I went in for my 2 wk and they said I’m fine I’ve not had my period and I have black stool for wks now. I lost 4 litters of blood when this Happed during the d&e so i stayed in the hospital for a few days. They took blood 2 wks ago and it’s still not picking up really. Thanks for the helpful site it means the world I hope I heal soon and life goes on.

143 Mary { 12.31.14 at 11:10 pm }

Wow! This blog is truly amazing. So glad someone took their time to share their experiences making it easier for others to understand what to expect. I myself had a D&E 10 days ago and unfortunately I feel OK physically but mentally I’m still hurting. Although I have my husband and other family supporting me, I just feel like I’m having too much trouble coping with my baby’s loss. She was my second baby after having a premature baby boy two years before. Obviously we were so excited to be expecting a baby girl and at 20 weeks I was told she wouldn’t survive due to her kidneys not developing and having Cysts in them. We went looking for second, third and fourth opinions and they all confirmed diagnosis. The day of my D&E I was a nervous wreck and went thru with it. At this time, my 2 year old is the only one keeping on my feet and writing on here has truely helped with my Pain. Thank you although I’m very sorry for everyone’s losses, it does help to know I’m not alone and that there are others who understand what I’m going thru. If anyone likes to speak you could email me at:Ms122383@aol.com.

144 Kyrstin Richards { 01.26.15 at 11:56 am }

Iam going through this now. Iam 19 weeks but the dr said the baby jas been gone since about week 14. I dont know what to do. Iam a complete wreck

145 Erica { 01.28.15 at 1:23 pm }

Yesterday I went through labor induction and D&C to deliver my 16-week-old baby boy. :-( It all started last January 10 which was my routine prenatal check-up, when my baby was supposed to be 20 weeks old. Everything was great in my past prenatal ultrasound and check-ups (last December 6, at 15w4d, I even heard my baby’s heartbeat for the first time via my OB’s doppler). Then on the 20th week, my doc said she couldn’t find his heartbeat via the doppler so I was sent in for a pelvic ultrasound. I was so heartbroken to have found out that there was no heartbeat anymore, and that my baby only measured 16 weeks. There were no words to describe the agony. :-( I was made to wait for two weeks while administering Evening Primrose to help soften and dilate my cervix so I could maybe deliver naturally, but I never did. It was depressing to be carrying my dead baby in my womb for two weeks without knowing what’s going to happen. After the two weeks were over, I was admitted in the hospital, administered with Laminaria to open my still closed cervix, and given Syntocinon in my IV line to induce contractions. I delivered my 16-week-old baby yesterday, January 27, and found out he was a boy (right now I have a healthy, 19-month old baby girl whom we waited for 6 years to conceive, and whom I carried and delivered without pregnancy complications). My OB’s findings were that my baby had an umbilical cord twisting and stricture which may have caused his early demise. I have been in Google the past two nights, staying up so late trying to find out more about it and what could have caused it. My husband and I are trying to move on and are planning to TTC again after a few months of healing. This experience has made me appreciate the complexity of a pregnancy and how a live baby is really a miracle meant to be. I don’t know and understand what God’s reasons are for this happening to our family–it actually drives me crazy thinking about it–but I am hanging on and holding on to Him because I have faith He knows what’s best for all of us.

I grieve with all the women here who have lost babies–there are no words to describe the suffering a mother bears for the loss of a child. May we all find peace within and again, hope and strength to move on and let the babies we lost become the beautiful little angels they were meant to be in heaven looking after us always.

146 Erica { 02.01.15 at 10:16 am }

I too just had a D and E on Jan. 29th. I went in for my 16 week appointment and they found no heartbeat. An ultrasound showed the baby’s growth to be around 13.5, but they said it could’ve shrunk some after passing. Unfortunately for me, there were NO options given. I was told to go to a different doctor for the procedure because my practice doesn’t perform D and Es. This other doctor was insensitive and rough. I was appalled that not only did I not have any other options for miscarrying, there were also no other doctors that perform this operation.
I was never explained by my OB what was going to happen and I wasn’t prepared for the physical pain to come. I had had a D and C prior to this so I was expecting the same thing.
I went to his office to get luminaria strips put on my cervix, which was very painful for me since I was starting to have cramps already. Then I was given a medication to take that night to start contractions.
I went home and at 1:30, I woke up in active labor. I knew I was suppose to have contractions so I waited it out until 4 am, all the while I was using my breathing techniques to get through them. Finally, I had to endure an hour drive to the hospital with full on contractions. The hospital staff worked as quickly as they could (although it seemed like forever) to get me some pain meds and to rush me off to surgery.
I wish I would’ve found this blog prior to my experience so I could’ve been more informed. I’m devastated that this happened, but I’m also frustrated at the lack if concern and care that was given to someone who lost a baby. I hope everyone out there has a wonderful support system to help them heal.

147 cynthia { 02.10.15 at 8:30 am }

beautiful hearts……………………….I am so sorry for all your losses and hope God will wipe your tears and restore you before you know it.

I had a d&c procedure done after a blighted ovum that was diagnosed at 11.5 weeks. I am still going through the motions…………….some days are better than others.

My husband has been supportive and we both want a child so badly. I believe God does not forget his children and he hasnt forgotten all you beautiful women.

148 Tatiana { 04.08.15 at 12:12 am }

Today is one week after I had my first D&C. I’m physically healed but my heart is still broken. I have two healthy boys (7 and 6) that keep me going but I miss my lost baby dearly. On 03/30/15 my husband and I went for my second us (I went to my first by myself and got tho hear my baby’s hb at 5w6d). I was 8w4d but baby measured only 7w. I can still hear those horrible words “unfortunately, there is no heart beat”. I’m 40 and we were trying to get pregnant since last June, I was so happy to finally get a positive test in February!. My Dr wants me to wait 2 cycles to try again, but I’m not sure I will… I’ll be 41 in June and I have very long cycles (40 days). I’m do sorry for all your loses, I also never thought it was going to happen to me…I pray we all have a rainbow healthy babies ❤️

149 Mercedes { 05.16.15 at 4:06 am }

I miscarried at 8 weeks but did not find out until 13. I waited one week as I was at the end of the 4-6 weeks to miscarry before it becomes risky for infection. They performed the D&e yesterday. My body still believed it was pregnant. This has been such an emotional roller coaster and I’m blessed to have a good support system and I think having that support is key when your going through this.
When I was going to my prenatals I was very low risk of miscarry let alone a missed miscarry. I’m 24, extremely healthy and had a very healthy pregnancy but unfortunately we did lose it. To add to the risk again for surgery, i was told I was at a low risk of complications because I am young and healthy but ended up having had a very bad experience with D&e. I was in there for about 45 minutes according to my husband with extreme blood loss and was one pint away from needing a blood transfusion. I woke up with my body going numb in random areas for hours and was admitted- apparently I didn’t look so healthy afterwards but still gorgeous in my gown according to my husband haha.
I’m not sure if anyone else has experienced what I’m still going through in recovery but if you are im here. I’m at peace with everything that has occurred these past 7 days and I know as much as I loved that little peanut something was wrong and I could not have given it the life it deserved and that this was the better path it was meant to take. When you can accept that it will make the sadness a little bit easier.
There was an article I read a few days ago that helped provide some peace. According to the doctor, fetal cells can pass through the placenta just like our cells pass through to help build the baby and they were finding Y chromosome cells for example on the organs of women who had boys almost 20 years ago. According to the research the baby, even if it doesn’t live passed the first trimester, still will transfer cells and remain in the mother indefinitely. I found acceptance when I read that because even though I’ll never hold my little one there is a piece of it with me both emotionally and hopefully physically.

150 Jasmine { 06.04.15 at 10:00 pm }

I had a d&e yesterday and it was an emotional roller coaster for me. I was 22 weeks the baby’s head was measuring at 26 due to a tumor growing on the head and taking over the baby’s body. With zero chance of survival I opted for the D&E. My doctor gave both my husband and I doctor’s notes for work. Inserting the dilators was slightly painful and I had mild cramping afterwards. It was very uncomfortable walking with the dialators along was a very large gauze pad and urinating. I have never used a tampon in my life so that could be why I was so uncomfortable.

151 miss Akpos { 09.20.15 at 12:59 pm }

I’m 24 weeks, but d baby stop growing at 12 weeks, does dat mean d baby is dead? Or do I hav a problem wit my womb dat nid to be adjust 4 d baby to grow?

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